Matters of the Soul

Sam looked at Remi, a little surprised, as his wrist was taken - he had not even realised what he had been doing, not until the pain on his scalp faded away. It was so natural to him to find ways to punish himself, especially after years of being unable to feel anything; it was harder to stop poking at yourself when there were no real physical consequences for doing so.

"No. That's the worst part. It was only a day or so ago. I met him in the Loreseeker's guild and I was so happy to see him alive, but..." He sighed. He had been the one to bring up that the blame for the Blight laid with him, but he had not expected Jigano's explosive reaction. "He seems to think I follow The Voice completely without question like a stupid child...and I do trust her, but it's not blind. I...I think if this portal in the Mathair leads us somewhere new, well...maybe that's...something that could justify the mistake of the Blight? I don't know."

While Sam knew all of that about Ronin, he felt that in the grand scheme of things it didn't really matter - the Blight still clearly had to do with the The Voice, and well - Jigano seemed to consider him guilty by association. But he didn't want to argue with what he so desperately wanted to be true, so he nodded.

"Remi..." He played with the words in his head before he said them. "You know, not in the way I once did, but I really do love you. I...I've never had a real family before, and..."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

Sitting back on his heels, the alchemist frowned deeply at Sam's explanation. Clenching his teeth together and breathing a steady stream out his nose, Remi had to force his fingers to stay in Sam's and not instead turn into claws and shred the upholstery. "If I have learned one thing, it is that we all make decisions not everyone likes. You surely heard what happened with Jigano when he was king for all of a few hours?" Remi shook his head and tried not to scowl. "I think as an ascended you have...a different view of the Voice than we do. Which is to be expected. But that is the whole point of having trust in your friends, isn't it?" Sam's words were as painful as they were sweet and welcome. "I know, me too." He said, rising and sitting on the edge of the chair to wrap an arm around Sam. "And I will always be here for you. I may not always agree or understand, but I will always believe in you." remi Too long till I drown in your hands

When Sam heard Remi talk of Jigano's time as King, he frowned, finding inside himself a million defences for his friend - well, he had a difficult choice - and with a little sigh, decided to try and give him some slack. "...To be fair...I...suppose the Blight probably doesn't just go away right away. It might still be...making him angrier than he might be. I'll go speak to him in a while."

Whenever he worked up the courage, so definitely not soon.

Easily he leaned into Remi's hug, smiling his first genuine smile of the evening at his words. "Thank you. I...am not as powerful as you, but the same is true of me for you."

It would have been very easy for Sam to fall asleep there, tired as he was emotionally, but he had a bed only a few steps away and Nate would likely be worried. Speaking of Nate, though...sitting up, he chewed at a nail and stared very intently at a crack in the floor. "What...do you think of Nate?"

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"It does not." Remi agreed. "Though Ronin...is not trying to kill me in my sleep anymore, there is still a darkness. He is weary and often snaps without meaning to. Give him time. Jigano cares for you Sam, but as wise as he is, he is not perfect. He might have hurt your feelings by trying to do what he thought was best. But just remember that he does think of you as a close friend." That being said, Remi realized he didn't actually know where Jigano would be during LongNight. Presumably the Temple, given how much he'd defended it as a location. "You are far more powerful than you know." Remi whispered sweetly into Sam's coppery mop of hair. Pulling back to let the bookmaker sit up, the alchemist couldn't help but raise a surprised brow at the question. Studying Sam softly even as the ascended worriedly looked away, Remi pulled in a thoughtful breath and held it for a moment. "I do not know much about it him, honestly. Why don't you tell me about him?" remi Too long till I drown in your hands

"Kill you in your sleep?!" Sam blinked in surprise, suddenly a lot more awake. Ronin had mentioned that he had lost control of himself, hurt others, but Sam had assumed at most it had been cruel words or a stray hit. Not an actual murder plot. Jigano had at least stuck to emotional hurt, even if it had stung. "...Yes. I...I need to stop thinking every argument with someone is the end of our whole relationship."

Remi whispered reassuring words into his hair and Sam smiled, wishing they were true.

When it came to telling Remi about Nate, he didn't know where to begin. "Well, um...I mean, I think he's handsome, I suppose, and he's kind to me. He's interested in Caido and oh - the place he came from, like your home, did not welcome men being with men." A sad frown passed over Sam's face. "I'm glad the both of you are here now. He's a doctor and clearly very intelligent, I think, though things are different from how they were back at his home here."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"Just a few times." Remi said with a wry smile. It was easier to joke about now that Ronin was back in his life in a meaningful way. With a chuckle, the alchemist definitely nodded in agreement. "That you do." Though his tone was affectionate. Not everyone could just change overnight, and Sam certainly hadn't had the easiest few months when it came to trusting those around him. "Handsome and kind, good start." With a playful smile, Remi listened, nodding sympathetically at the mention of homophobia. "A doctor mmmm?" The alchemist pretended to look surprised. "Well you have certainly moved on and up." He added with a wink: from alchemist to doctor was certainly a leap, not that such things mattered in this world or even to Sam, but the quip rolled off Remi's tongue easily enough as he nudged the ascended. "He seems lovely. I am glad you are happy." And, though it had taken a long time, Remi found he genuinely did mean it. remi Too long till I drown in your hands

"...I suppose as long as he isn't doing it anymore." Sam replied, his voice somewhere between amused and mortified; if Remi felt safe he was sure it would be alright, but he couldn't help the raised hackles in him at the idea of Ronin trying to hurt his friend.

He laughed at the idea of moving 'on and up'. "Oh, hush. You are one of the most talented people I have ever known. You make so much, and you can be a bird, a lion, a raccoon!" Not that those were qualities he particularly desired in a partner, but they still made Remi an impressive enough date in his own right. "I...am happy. For the moment; I think it will take me a while to believe it's all true."

Sam sat up, taking a deep breath and holding his own arms tight. He looked towards the door to his borrowed bedroom; he would have to go and see Nate soon, in case the man had woken and was looking for him. But there was one more thing on his mind. "Remi...with Longnight coming up...I don't remember much of last year, but I do remember that you were continuously throwing yourself into danger. Can you try and promise me you'll be more careful this year? I...I know you can't resist helping people, but...just...too many of us depend on you."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"Mmm, not to that extent, no." Remi replied with a mischievous wink. He was alright with things being a little rough after all. Though he did draw the line at murderous. Grinning cheekily, Remi held up a finger. "And a manticore." He reminded Sam, as if he had to defend himself against Sam's new beau, which he absolutely did not. Still, the playfulness felt good in the wake of how dark absolutely everything seemed to be. Giving the bookmaker an affectionate nudge, Remi smiled with genuine happiness. "I am truly glad to hear it." Giving his friend space to sit up, Remi tilted his head slightly noting the way he seemed to tense and start to curl in on himself again. Wincing slightly to hear the request, the alchemist frowned and considered. He didn't want to lie to his friend, but nor did he want to unnecessarily worry him either. "I will be more prepared this year, I know that. I am stronger too.." He added a touch bashfully. "But I will be as safe as I can." Remi agreed with a nod. That much was true. He had Ronin and Aoife to return home to, after all. remi Too long till I drown in your hands

Sam didn't quite know what to make of Remi's wink, nor the words that came before it (probably for the best. Had he realised what Remi meant, he would have been incredibly embarrassed) but he gave an amused smile, pretending like he got it. As long as Remi wasn't in danger.

"Oh yes, a manticore. How could I forget? Like Lam did?" He laughed, still amazed that his gentle friend could be such a fearsome creature.

Though it made sense, when he remembered how protective Remi could be. How the man would stop at nothing to save those who he cared about. Sam nodded slowly to the reassurances, but really he knew that if someone was in trouble, being 'safe' would fly out the window. At least he'd said something, so if the worst did happen...

With a sigh, he stood up and with a weak, tired look on his face, one that bore a polite mask of pleasantness (and he was genuinely grateful). "I should probably go and see Nathaniel, and you should probably go to that husband of yours. Goodnight, Remi. ....Thank you."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"Well, if I recall you were busy being nearly squished by the punking." The alchemist said with a laugh. Standing as well, the alchemist gave Sam a lingering look for a moment, wanting to further reassure his friend, but being reminded that it wasn't necessarily his place to do so anymore. "Keep your stone close. We will make it through this week." He vowed gently. "Goodnight, Sam." He said with an affectionate smile, before taking the ascended's advice and pattering up the stairs to find Ronin. ~FIN remi Too long till I drown in your hands