Matters of the Soul

The Voice had healed him, but Sam still felt absolutely exhausted after the battle at the Mathair. Perhaps Ascended didn't need sleep, but his mind was wrecked with taken in all of the violence, the portal, the idea that he had told the Voice he trusted her entirely (possibly more unsettling, that he did).

When he arrived back in the Monster Hunter's guild, pushing the doors open slowly. The warmth of the place touched his skin and he smiled weakly. As much as it wasn't his home, there was something comforting about the guildhall, especially when it was full of so many people that meant something to him.

He meant to go to his bedroom, but he found himself instead going to the first chair he saw and sitting down heavily, the chair rocking back and forth on the stone floor and echoing across the hall. Sam rested an elbow on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose, frowning as he tried to summon up the energy to go upstairs. He was aware he probably looked a mess, clothes soaked with fluid and blood and dirt, his hair all over and dirty streams of tears dried down his cheeks.

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

With his nose in a book, Remi hardly heard Sam come in. Then again, with all the recent comings and goings in preparation for LongNight, the alchemist didn't pay much attention to the sounds made on the lower floor of the guildhall. Still, he hadn't really been expecting company, which is why when he returned to the greatroom to re-take his place by the fire, he was only wearing loosely fitting pants slung low on his hips, adorned with dragons and stars and all the other silly siguls that made up his private wardrobe with Ronin. Nearly walking right by Sam before noticing him, the alchemist lowered his book and fixed the bookmaker with a surprised stare. "I forgot how quiet you could be." He chuckled warmly, before his expression shattered noticing the state of his friend's attire: bloodied, torn, and dirty. None of which were usually words he'd describe his friend's outfits. "Are you alright?" remi Too long till I drown in your hands

While Sam should have noticed Remi with his Ascended senses, he was too wrapped up in his thoughts to hear the man approach until he spoke. Sam's shoulders flinched and he looked up, momentarily alarmed. Seeing it was Remi he relaxed; if he had been in better spirits he probably would have noticed the very unique pants, but for now he only felt relief in his heart at the sight of his friend.

Was he alright...? He wasn't really sure. Looking down at his clothes and the stains on them as if seeing them for the first time, he reached to touch a particularly wet patch on his shirt, where fluid from his face had dripped down. "Um, w-well...physically, yes. Don't worry."

He began to unbutton the shirt, the wet gripping at his skin suddenly bothering him now that he'd seen it. "We...me and Wessex, Rexanna...we got into a fight in the woods. At the Mathair." Sam looked up at Remi, unsure if he had known the devil that had died. "Lucas was there too, but...he didn't make it."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"Don't worry?" The alchemist admonished softly, as if not worrying about Sam was ever something Remi had successfully done. Kneeling down in front of the chair, Remi's no-longer shattered green stare watched Sam's fingers unbutton his shirt with a growing wariness. While it was true the alchemist was shirtless, something about watching another man undress—and for that man to be Sam no less—filled the alchemist with a cold spike of worry. Even so, if his friend was harmed... "Hey, here.." Remi said gently, a new shirt appearing in his hands. It was closer to Remi's fashion-sense than Sam's being a sort of muted-plaid pattern, but the cloth was soft and not covered in sticky ascended fluid. "A fight? With who?" He asked, his eyes know scouring his friend for signs of other wounds. The news about Lucas made Remi's lips part in a silent O of horror. "But..I thought that you..." didn't die? Though Remi's memories had been taken largely as a result of Lucas' actions, still the alchemist was horrified to hear he'd died. remi Too long till I drown in your hands

Sam did not have the energy to be embarrassed about his exposed chest. All that mattered was taking off the cloth marked by the fight and putting on the soft shirt that Remi provided for him, which he took happily with a small smile. "Thank you." He considered taking off his pants, but even in his weary state he figured that was best left until he was back in his room.

"Well...w-we did kind of start the fight. The Voice told us to attack the Mathair. So...we did, and Fae came to protect it..." Sam shook his head, still struggling to believe it had happened. He wanted to tell Remi of what had happened after, the portal they had uncovered, but he saw the horror in his eyes at the news of Lucas' death. So, he had known him.

He wasn't sure what Remi was trying to say, so he just gave more information. "He was struck by the Mathair and he...well...it...it was quick, I think?" That was something people said to comfort each other, he thought. Whether it was true or not. "I was hurt badly but The Voice healed me...an axe went into my leg, here..." He pointed to the back of his calf, where a rip in his pants and stains of fluid contrasted with healthy skin beneath.

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

Raising his eyebrows to hear that the ascended started a fight, especially since it seemed like the only other character in this story was a tree, he kept his curiosity silent as Sam explained.  Swallowing hard at the mention of the Voice—and honestly, still not understanding what a tree had to do with any of this—he hissed in a breath, fingers immediately going to his friend's calf only to find his skin completely unmarred. "Wait so..you...fought a tree? The tree killed Lucas?" Glancing up at Sam with clear eyes, Remi's head tilted slightly to the side as he studied his friend's face. Could the ascended get concussions? He was starting to worry they might be able to. "You..I do not understand." He said exhaling and worrying his lower lip. remi Too long till I drown in your hands

Remi's confusion was frustrating when Sam was trying to get out the story, but he supposed it was understandable; until today he had not known the Mathair could fight for itself either. "Yes. When we got there, The Voice was...fighting the Mathair, and it was..waving it's branches around like it was fighting. One of those struck Lucas...th-through his middle.." He gestured vaguely to his stomach, not wanting to say anything more about the gruesome sight.

"Wessex, Rexanna and me fought it and the Fae...there was another man, too, but he left. I didn't know who he was...anyway, we won, I guess? Because it opened...I'm not sure...some kind of portal...?" Sam reached out and grabbed Remi's shoulder, looking up with an intensity in his eyes. "Remi. Until we know more about this, you mustn't tell anyone, alright?"

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

Honestly, a fighting tree wasn't the hardest thing Remi had been asked to swallow since coming here, and so he simply did his best to accept Sam's description of it and move on. Glancing down as Sam gestured to his own stomach, Remi shivered at the mental image it inspired—not of Lucas, but of Sam—causing the alchemist reach out and gently take the bookmaker's hand. Opened? Portal? Blinking in surprise at Sam's sudden intensity, Remi raised a brow leaning back a fraction but only so he could continue to meet Sam's steely gaze with ease. "I do not keep secrets from Ronin..." He said in a gentle, but firm voice. And it was true, he told Ronin everything, even when his words were nearly marriage-ending like I asked Loren to kiss me. remi Too long till I drown in your hands

Sam closed his fingers around Remi's hand without even thinking of it, glad for the comfort. As much as he respected both Rexanna and Wessex, neither of them were particularly close to him nor as gentle as Remi was.

The response to his words surprised him a little, though he wasn't sure why. It made sense; he supposed he just wasn't used to Remi being a married man yet. After a moment's consideration, he nodded. "Well..alright. But then...you need to make sure Ronin doesn't tell anyone, please. I don't know what's happening yet."

Until they had all decided what the best course of action was, he didn't want an army of well meaning adventurers to go marching into the woods; thoughts of the Spire attack rose and while it had ultimately been successful, it had been messy. It was best to avoid that. "I'm not...even sure if it was a portal. But..she did something to the Mathair. I was very tired when she was speaking. I don't think we'll get to see it again until after Longnight, though."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

Though it wasn't what was on Remi's mind at the moment, it was nice to know that after he and Sam had been through, all the ups and downs, that they were finally in this place of easy closeness once again. Nevermind that it was mostly born out of trauma, the alchemist was glad to have a real friend in the bookmaker again. "I am sure the only one he would want to tell is Wessex, and ..." Trailing off, he merely shrugged. She already knew. "Oh? Why is that?" On the one hand the entire grounds seemed to have more than enough on their plates with LongNight prep to be worried about a portal. Especially since the one they already knew about simply led to the Greatwoods, perhaps to Mathair itself. If this one just...led back into the Spire, while interesting, it was hardly worth putting off their much needed prep. But something about the way Sam said they wouldn't get to see it gave him pause. remi Too long till I drown in your hands

Sam nodded, though found himself a little nervous. What if Wessex hadn't wanted him to tell anyone? But with all that had gone on in the day, he found himself almost too tired to add another worry to the list; he tried to put it to the back of his mind. At least for the night, he was safe.

"Oh, um, the Fae are guarding it, now. They don't want anyone to go nearby." He shrugged. "The Voice thinks it will be easier to go after Longnight." Honestly, Sam was fine with that; the portal scared him and he was content to leave it as long as he could. He was sure that eventually The Voice would ask them to go and see it, and then he would conquer the fear.

Speaking of the Fae guarding the tree though, remembering how passionately they had tried to defend it...Sam frowned and chewed at his lip, a question that had been in his mind for several days now at the forefront again. "Remi...you don't...think I'm a bad person, for doing things for The Voice or being Ascended, do you?"

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"Oh, I see." The alchemist said with a distracted nod. He supposed that made sense. It was probably the best that Ronin did know then, in case Delah sent a letter or worse, showed up here herself to demand answers. "That sounds wise. I...wonder if the fae knew. That there was a portal there. They did always think Mathair was special..?" "Hey, no of course not." The alchemist replied instantly, curling his finger's around Sam's and then adding his other hand around that. Looking up with an earnest smile, Remi shook his head. "I do not think the ascended are inherently bad, no matter what the Voice has done in the past, or what she will continue to do." Tugging in a breath and wishing there was more he could offer the bookmaker other than his words, the alchemist merely sighed softly. "And no. You have never done anything she has asked if you thought it was wrong, have you?" remi Too long till I drown in your hands

"I don't know how The Voice knew about it..." Sam mumbled, frowning to himself. Did she have connections with the Fae? He'd explored through the woods for her, but he hadn't noticed anything special about the Mathair when he'd visited.

Remi's instant reassurance contrasted so sharply with the reactions he'd had from other people that the tears were inevitable. "No, of course not. Oh, Remi, I..." Lifting a hand up into his hair, he grabbed a clump of it, pulling just a little. "I had an argument with Jigano and I'm sure he hates me now. He hates everything I am and what I've done with The Voice...and a part of me is scared he's going to be right."

Because that was how his mind works; if it was negative, it was true. Remi, with his kind eyes and gentle voice...it was so hard to trust him, to believe he wasn't just being good. "I mean...I still helped the Voice a-after she nearly caused Ronin to die. Don't you hate me for that? You would be right to."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"How do any of them know anything?" Remi said with an almost casual shrug. When it came to divine knowledge, the alchemist was hopelessly lost and ignorant. "Hey no," Softly reaching up to grab at Sam's wrist and bring it down into his lap, the alchemist offered the bookmaker and affectionate smile as he gave a slight shake of his head. Sam's tendency towards acts of self-harm, however small, had always weighed heavily on the alchemist both when they were together and not. For everything that he didn't know about the Sage, one thing that Remi did, was that he cared a great deal for Sam. "Was this when he was blighted, by any chance?" Remi asked softly, raising his brows slightly as he squeezed one of Sam's hands. "Because...that was not him. You know it was not." Shaking his head and offering a sunny smile that was short-lived, but genuine, Remi just sighed. "Ronin was blighted because Safrin was. Safrin was because she entered the Spire. None of that had to do with you. Even if he had been blighted from being out in the woods, you did not know what you were doing, by exploring. I do not blame you." Squeezing again and trying to find Sam's gaze, he repeated it: "I do not blame you at all, Sam, and I certainly do not hate you." remi Too long till I drown in your hands