Dynamite with a laser beam

Was this a good idea? Probably not. Was he doing it anyways? Of course.

They all had their weaknesses, those people who meant more to them than their own lives. Remi might have been more open in his willingness to step between harm and his friends, but even the jaded bard had found connections worth risking it all for. There were those who had given him his life and heart back, who had planted the seeds of hope and healing and nurtured them across the seasons, and now it was time for the harvest. Isuma had been left at the farm, Rory and Deimos and Ronin had been informed of what he intended so his disappearance would not go unnoticed if the worst came to pass, and now it was a distinctive white raven who circled Launceleyn Manor, a small, brightly wrapped package in his talons.

The front door? Too obvious - and too much risk that Zariah's Edy's guards might try to get a little rough with him for eluding their former Queen. No, he bruised too easily for that. He had hoped to sneak in through an unlocked window that might be open to the pleasant Leafchange afternoon and then wait until he could catch Edy alone for a hopefully-quiet chat between two friends, to see what could be done about the situation.

Sometimes, the gods smiled on such endeavors.

A familiar yowling could be heard from a chamber that did, in fact, have its windows open, and a careful flyby had shown only one person visible, dark skin and dark hair a familiar sight, long legs and slender arms cementing their owner's identity.

Sometimes, the gods had a long, hard laugh.

That was a lot of bare skin.

Jigano considered the pros and cons only briefly before heaving a sigh to himself. Well. If he was doomed to be roasted like a chicken on the wing, maybe he could at least surprise a laugh from Edy before she did it. He folded his wings and dropped from the sky, swooping down to land neatly on the windowsill, package held neatly beneath one claw.

"Special delivery!" he croaked, hoping that his fiery friend wasn't engaged in awkward intimacies that he would be interrupting...

but it was a very small hope.

Edy fuck you <3 Intimacies made it sound like something that involved candles and white lace. This? Oh no. This was something entirely not intimidate. This was purely exploratory. Swinging around at the sound of the strange croak, Jigano would be treated with a rather interesting sight. Edy was naked (but that wasn't really the interesting bit). What was, was the semi-engorged penis protruding from her hand. A penis that seemed quite biologically accurate and somehow affixed to the Launceleyn. As anyone would obviously be doing, Edy was trying to orgasm twice at the same time. She had the bits for it, now she just had to figure out the hand gestures. But this was her third go in an hour, and unlike her more seasoned sex-organ, her external and newer one seemed not up for the task. "Hey!" Edy trilled brightly, completely unphased that Jigano was happening upon her nude with her new cock-in-hand. "Look what I've got!" She continued, swinging her hips in an all too teenage-boy gesture affectionately known as the helicopter.

The good news was that Edy was alone, at least as far as human company went. The bad news...

For once, the bard was caught utterly speechless. Stunned - gobsmacked, even - the raven blinked and closed his beak with a sharp clack as his friend's anatomy was bared in all of its fully frontal glory. To say he hadn't been expecting it was the understatement of the season, if not the year, and as the helicopter really started taking off he honestly debated retreat as the better part of valor.

In his defense, that was his instinctive reaction to anyone other than Rory waving that much unrestrained cock at him.

"Congrat... ulations?" he croaked, voice faint as he ruffled his feathers, and his toes closed around the package in its bright red and yellow paper. The timing was serendipitous, it would seem, and somewhere he just knew Frey was enjoying the show. This seemed right up the fertility god's alley, even if Jigano hadn't met them yet.

"Gift," he managed, trying to keep his eyes up on Edy's face and not on the exceedingly awkward rotational motion going on at hip-height. He hopped off the package, the paper wrapped around a box roughly the size of a deck of cards and several inches thick, and sidled over to the other side of the window to try and avoid any collateral damage if Edy wanted to pick it up.

Thank all the most fortunate gods that his beak couldn't express emotions the way a human's face could. Edy would be having a field day with him even more than she already was otherwise.

Edy fuck you <3 "Right?" Edy gushed, glancing down at her semi-erect manwomanhood with unfettered glee. "Mmm, I know it is. Frey ga—" Looking up and noticing the package held in the raven's claws, Edy paused comically with her mouth still half-forming the rest of her sentence. "Oooh!! For me?" Duh, obviously it was. Clapping her hands together and skipping over (boing, boing, boing when two breasts and one penis), Edy reached for the package (wink) with animated fingers. "Can I open it now?" She asked, standing all too close and all too naked, but oblivious to anything except for the raven's offering.

Frey. Of course. He had suspected, but hearing it confirmed... well, that didn't really change anything, actually. Edy and Frey seemed like a match made in heaven, from what he'd heard of the god, and whether this most recent...manifestation?... had been meant as a curse or a blessing, Edy certainly seemed determined to make the most of it! He was glad he had shifted away from the package, though, or else he might have found himself pushed out the window in the most awkward way possible as she arrived at half-mast.

He bobbed his head in assent at her request, certainly not wanting to get close enough to stop her. And, well, the theatrical timing of it was too on point for his little bardic heart not to appreciate, even if the rest of him was slowly dying of mortification on the inside. It wasn't edible underwear, but he'd hoped a sizeable number of Rory's stock of condoms would sweeten the current Queen's attitude enough to let him talk his way out of jailtime.

He hadn't realized that Frey had already put her in a much better mood than he ever could, but since she now had a new look, it only made sense for her to accessorize with it. Especially since he didn't think the wild young woman was quite ready to settle down with motherhood yet!

Edy fuck you <3 Tearing off the paper half with her nails and half with disintegration magic, Edy opened the lid to find... oh. Raising a brow and pursing her lips, for a moment Edy thought that perhaps this offering was a precursor to the talk. The type she'd received as a young and just-as-promiscuous woman as she was now. But then... oh ho ho! Flashing the raven a sultry and completely shit-eating-grin (a composition of expressions that Edy hardly had to try to pull off), she placed a hand on a slender hip, cocking it and licking her lips. "Why Jigano, I thought you'd never ask." She said, holding up a condom and eyeballing the circumference to make sure it would fit on her new toy organ. "I mean, unless you wanna?" She asked, all faux sincerity.

He watched her (face) cautiously, hoping she would like the (admittedly awkward) gift. It was thoughtful and personalized, after all, suited specifically to her tastes and gleeful promiscuity, and even though he might have preferred a nice book or some wine as a 'happy Queendom' gift there was no denying that she would get a lot more mileage out of these.

With whom she chose to celebrate was hardly his business, and he had hoped to maybe find a place to shift back to human form so they could talk - maybe with a nice robe draped over the fire mage's assets, to prevent them from getting chilly? (never mind that Edreis didn't get cold unless they wanted to) - but Edy had managed to get entirely the wrong message from his gift. Blue eyes widened at the purred innuendo, dripping with lustful overtones, and the raven croaked in alarm before getting control of his voice again.

A human form would have to wait! Better to keep wings on hand in case he needed to make a fast getaway. Remi had tried to warn him...

"Too hot!" he managed, gesturing at her with his beak.

Then he flapped his wings and dipped his beak to gesture to himself. "Too old," he apologized desperately.

Edy fuck you <3 "Mmmm, why thank you." Edy purred, shrugging a shoulder at what she presumed was a compliment. Jigano being too old? Ha. He'd already more than dissuaded her of that idea on multiple occasions. "Ohhh no. You've got plenty more miles in you, and more than a few tricks in those sleeves. I'll bet my crown on it. Besides, this was your idea." She continued, sidling forward. Why the change of heart though? Had he heard about her new penis, via the orgy? She's always had the breast and the body, so if it wasn't that, her new limb was likely the reason. Not that Edy judged of course. It was why she wanted one in the first place: so she could please everyone. "Comeon then bird-man. Off that windowsill. I'll give you somewhere to perch." She cackled.

It had been a gift, not an invitation, he thought desperately, but lacked the verbal facility to make that clear. An angry Edy might make things uncomfortably toasty for him, but a lusty Edy was crossing boundaries he very definitely did not want her to cross, and he hopped off the windowsill at her command-

-and back out into the sky, flapping up to land on the top of the open window pane. A little distance helped relieve some of his anxiety, though the view as he craned his head down to peer back inside remained just as awkwardly embarrassing for one of them - and it wasn't the new Queen. "Edy," he begged in his rough raven's voice. "Talk." Something he was growing increasingly worried wasn't going to happen. He could always come back tomorrow... but with her new, ah, addition he wasn't sure she'd be up for serious conversation for a week. That would probably be for the best for the Hollowed Grounds, at least... a Queen busy taking care of herself wasn't going to go around arresting innocent bakers, after all.

But it wouldn't solve any of the problems currently facing them. At best it would only delay them, and at worst... well, it might make things worse. A few hours, though, wouldn't hurt, right? Still, after all he had done to gather his courage to approach the Manor, this unexpected roadblock had him visibly deflating a little. "Talk later?" he gave one last try, even while knowing that she might well be piqued at him for not joining in with her sexcapades. Still, even though he and Rory had never put their monogamy into words, he wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone else.

And besides, as he'd told Remi, the thought of sleeping with Edy, much like Sam or Amalia, was just weird.

Edy fuck you <3 "Talk? Pffff. You tease." Edy said, tossing the proferred condom back into the box and yawning lazily. That was for the best anyways. Sex-organ numbero dose needed more time to recharge anyways. Strolling towards her bed, Edy plopped down lazily onto it, glancing out of the window. Nudity was one of her more natural states, so if Jigano had a problem with it, he was going to need to make his preferences clear. "Well? You coming, or what?" She asked the fluttery avian, still wondering why offers of sex seemed to get everyone so riled. And not in the fun way.

The raven waited until Edy was safely on the bed and away from the window with her new toy before he dropped back onto the windowsill. He flexed his talons on the wood, uneasy for a different reason as he realized he was going to have to shift back to his human form without any sort of masking barrier between them to hide it. That felt intimate to him, uncomfortably so, and he hesitated before fluttering into the room to perch on the back of a chair-

And sent his thoughts winging back outside, to coax a pair of crows to flap towards the window, cawing raucously and shedding a few feathers as they tussled just outside the open embrasure. He waited until Edy was (hopefully) looking away before shifting back to his human form, sitting perched on the chair and letting the squabbling siblings go on their way again.

"Not at the moment, I'm afraid," he murmured, trying to gather a shred of his usual wit for bantering with the new queen. "Though the offer is appreciated. You are, and always have been, far too much woman for me to handle, my Queen of conflagrations." She had a new title, after all. It would be a shame not to take advantage of it!

It was easier to keep his eyes up as a human, oddly enough. Being at windowsill-height as a bird had its drawbacks, but a bit of distance and the young woman's apparent willingness to allow him to keep his clothes on did much to ease his discomfort. Naked Edy was strange and distracting, especially with the new cock, but he had no doubt she would encourage his curiosity if he showed too much of it. Then again... "I had no idea the condoms were going to be such a timely gift, though," he admitted wryly. "I'm glad you and Frey got off on a good note, though."

Edy fuck you <3 It wasn't the crows (who fucking cared), but Bobi's instant attempts to kill them that drew Edy's attention. With a contented smirk she watched the predator leap nimbly onto the sill, swatting her large paws outwards to try and snag one out of midair. Without any room to jump further however, her efforts were stifled. Hissing and ftttting her anger, the cat sulkily came back into the room and jumped onto the bed. "And more than just woman now." She eagerly agreed, jiggling her hips slightly so that her mostly-flaccid penis flopped. Frowning, she shook her head. "Huh. Nope. Not any more attractive even when it's yours." Edy confirmed with a shrug. Rolling her wrist as if miming the beginnings of a bow, the new queen raised her chin so that Jigano could better take in her queenly profile. "Why thank you, kind subject." Surprised that the bard went down the road less travelled, Edy beamed up at him. "Best sex of my life." She said, her limp organ twitching slightly at the memory as she all but purred with content.

"Alas, at some point nature had to sacrifice form for function," Jigano agreed, giving in at last to glance down her body to the (thankfully) softening member. It was definitely a dick, and a fairly normal one, though of an impressive size. Frey, he suspected, wasn't the kind of god to go off half-cocked when they could go full-cock.

Edy's sex life wasn't something he normally wanted to hear about, but with it being thrust in his face (literally, earlier) it didn't some polite to ignore it. "I would hope so," he managed to chuckle in spite of the awkwardness of the situation. "They have a bit of a reputation to maintain!" He raised a brow at the newest Queen of the Hollowed Grounds, amused in spite of himself. "It would seem that gods have some uses after all."

"Congratulations, by the way, on the promotion. How are you holding up?" He started out teasing, but his question held a note of genuine concern. Last he had heard, she had barely wanted the responsibility for a bar. Finding herself suddenly in charge of an entire country - a small one, but an unhappy one simmering with sedition - with likely dire consequences if things weren't shipshape when her cousin returned couldn't be all fun and games.

Edy fuck you <3 "Gonna be hard to top their performance, I'll tell you what." Edy agreed. Just the mere thought of Frey filling her up and giving her a satisfaction not only that she'd never known, but that had never been possible before, made her shiver slightly. It really was too bad that Jigano wasn't here for sex. "Oh right. That. I was hoping to talk to you about it actually." Edy said, sitting up a bit straighter and leaning forward. One of her hands went to the scruff of Bobi's neck, almost anxiously working at the fur as she considered what it was she wanted to say. "So...Zariah is gone. Something with the voice and some mission." Edy tried to play it off as an above your clearance level, Jigs type of description, but really, that was about all the details the new queen had to offer. "So here I am." She said, happy to point out the obvious. "Thing is...I'm in a bit of a pickle, as the saying goes. We Launceleyn's don't fail. If Zariah comes back and all has gone to shit here, there is going to be hell to pay. While she might have been able to rule with an iron fist, I think it'll take a bit more diplomacy on my end to keep the peace. Which of course I don't have." With a grin, Edy tipped a wink at the bard. "Which is where you come in. Question, have you ever played checkers?"