What Divine Intelligence

Samuel

We can leave life for tomorrow
Or grieve all that we thought we’d do

The night was still, cold sitting in the atmosphere around Sam, and he almost wished for wind. For some kind of noise to distract him from what it was he was about to do. Remi had every reason to want to come along for the trip to the Shrine, yet Sam wanted to tell him he had no right. Something in him, now that he had cultivated more of a relationship with The Voice, selfishly wanted to keep her for himself and the other Ascended.

But he couldn't do that, not when he knew Ronin's life and by extension Remi's happiness was on the line.

There were other reasons to be anxious too, though. He knew that he and his fellow Ascended, that The Voice had nothing to do with the blight. It didn't make sense. Even so...the whisper in his head that had always been there served him nightmares of The Voice proudly saying, before Remi: Yes, well done Samuel, you spread the Blight just like I wanted you to.

No. No, he told himself, that wouldn't happen. It would be fine, Remi would find out something useful, but more importantly, would know that the Ascended were not behind any of this. With that mantra repeating in his mind, he stomped his feet to try and shake the cold from his legs and continued to wait at the entrance to the Underground.

Or make each moment new

"Hey." Remi said softly. Though the alchemist moved quietly enough, he knew more than enough of Sam's powers as an ascended to know that he hadn't a chance of sneaking up on his friend. Not that he was trying to, mind. The alchemist's thoughts were a blur of ronin isn't better, ronin isn't better, ronin isn't better. A cacophony of failure, of dead ends and hard truths that Remi didn't want to face. Killing the plants hadn't worked. Ronin now had less than a season...and Sam? Well. Sam was the key. Though whether his coppery-haired once-friend was the key to his husband's salvation or to the alchemist's own personal hell, he had no idea. "Thank you...for this." He added coming to stand next to the bookmaker. Remi's too-pale eyes looked weary and impossibly sad (ronin isn't better, ronin isn't better, ronin isn't better). REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

Samuel

We can leave life for tomorrow
Or grieve all that we thought we’d do

Sam heard Remi approach and nodded in response to his greeting, finding himself suddenly even more anxious when actually faced with the Alchemist. This meeting could end in Remi never speaking to him again, he thought. If The Voice confirmed any kind of role in the Blight, with the emotional toil of Ronin's illness...Remi could not be expected to act fairly.

"You are welcome." He smiled weakly, glad Remi was at least being polite for the moment, and began to walk down into the Underground. The dark caves were easy for him to navigate, but he remembered after a few steps that Remi did not have his abilities to see in the dark and was blinded partially. "Would you like to take my arm...?" He asked, holding out his elbow for Remi to hold. "..This is how we met, it says in my diary."

Memories aside, he knew the way to the shrine well. Whether Remi chose to hold his arm or not, he would get them there swiftly.

Or make each moment new

The underground was basically a wash of black to Remi's eyes. Even with light he wouldn't have been able to make out the scarce textures of the stone walls. "Sure." The alchemist replied in a mostly toneless voice. Not because of who was making the offer, but merely because all Remi had to give, had been given. This wasn't even a hail Mary at this point. It was just...going through the motions. Hopelessness was not a cloak Remi wore well at all, and yet he was positively covered with it. "Oh?" He replied a spark brighter, head tilted slightly in the darkness. There had been no one but he and Sam all those long months ago, and so no one else to impart the memory. "Oh. When we found the Voice the first time..?" He wondered, frowning softly. Was this irony, then? That it would all likely end where it had begun? REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

Samuel

We can leave life for tomorrow
Or grieve all that we thought we’d do

"Yes, I think so." Sam confirmed, taking hold of Remi's hand as well for a moment to guide him over an especially bumpy bit of the path; soon they would approach the statue - he felt nervous pangs throb through his chest. "Are...are you nervous?" He asked, a telling question and a vulnerable one.

They came into the cave with the statue of the Voice and he gently let go of Remi. "We're here. I'm going to kneel down but um...you don't have to, I suppose." If in Remi's mind The Voice was responsible for his husbands soon-to-be death, he likely would not want to show respect to her - on his head be it. Sam knelt, bowed his head and spoke out into the cave:

"Um, hello, Voice. I'm here with Remi to hopefully ask some questions for him, to make him feel better. He's a good friend, and he's upset, and you could perhaps help. ...There is also something I want to ask about." With his intent stated, he looked up to see if they would get a response.

Or make each moment new

The warm blue electric pulse reaches out to softly stroke Samuel's cheek. Trust, my bright one. There are things that the others are not ready to understand...things that your light will illuminate for them soon enough. Be patient, and know that I will always be with you. The Voice sang sweetly into Sam's mind alone, before the enigmatic flicker of her presence dimmed away entirely.

Coding base by Sky!

"Nervous?" The alchemist repeated softly, furrowing his brows and shaking his head. "No...not nervous." He wasn't quite sure what he was, but nervous wasn't it. He wasn't even hopeful anymore. Remi very much doubted that the Voice would give him any sort of helpful information whether she was behind any of this or not. Not kneeling, but bowing his head respectfully (and wearily), Remi listened as Sam made his plea to his creator. Cracking open an eye, the alchemist watched as a tendril of electricity seemed to snake towards Sam for just a moment before disappearing. Blinking into the darkness, Remi held his breath and waited. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

Samuel

We can leave life for tomorrow
Or grieve all that we thought we’d do

For the time he was being spoken to, The Voice's presence in his mind was comforting and Sam felt his heart grow warm with a fondness and affection he couldn't even put into words. But the moment it had fallen silent, he realised that he now had to tell Remi that that was all. That The Voice had spoken to him alone, and had not said anything about the Blight.

He turned to look at Remi and considering lying. It wasn't like he would know any different. But..either way, it was going be hard to convince him of The Voice just spoke to me and not you and this is totally what she said without lying already. Complicating things wouldn't work.

Besides, he did not want to act like someone guilty. "So...um...The Voice just spoke to me, briefly." Sam's eyes did not entirely meet Remi's, fear of his reaction bringing back many of his old anxieties and insecurities. "She says...there are things we are not ready to understand. That we will soon. I...I don't know what that means. I know it's not useful. I'm sorry."

He did not comment on how it sounded in regards to whose fault the Blight was - he already knew what Remi would think. "...I will go to the Atheneum." He said suddenly, standing. "Maybe I can find something in a book there we have overlooked for not knowing to look for it. I do not need to sleep, so I can keep looking until I find anything." Desperately, he wanted to be useful. To make up for some perceived flaw in himself, to prove himself innocent, to save Ronin.

Or make each moment new

Remi's expression was entirely neutral as Sam spoke. It was both exactly what he'd expected and somehow entirely surprising as well. Biting the inside of his lip hard, Remi tried to smile but found the gesture uncomfortable and merely looked away. Running a hand up the back of his neck and through his curls, the alchemist nodded slowly. "Not ready to understand." He repeated in a low voice. That could mean so many things. It could mean nothing at all. "No, Sam, it is okay." Remi said almost reflexively, the kindness in his voice instinctive at this point as he swallowed down his disappointment. "We have all looked...there is nothing there." He added. "Thank you...for bringing me here. For trying." Remi added after a moment, his voice and eyes dry despite the fact the situation likely called for tears. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

Samuel

We can leave life for tomorrow
Or grieve all that we thought we’d do

Well. He could not expect Remi to be happy, but he was glad he was not angry again or blaming Sam for the Blight, at least not out loud. He ground his teeth, wishing he could think of anything else he could do to help; privately he decided to go look in the Atheneum anyway; he knew it very well and thought it possible he could find something someone else could have missed.

Though it did feel a bit hopeless.

"You're welcome, Remi. Um..is..." He sighed and hugged himself, not sure how to phrase anything right. How did you put things gently in a situation like this? "If you need help with anything else, you know...someone to look after Aoife or Sugar or fetch you things...I still have the stone you gave me. You can call me with it whenever." All those things were true, but they weren't quite what he actually was trying to say.

"...And if...if it does come to the worst... anything. I'll help you with anything. You won't be alone."

Or make each moment new

I'll help you with anything. Remi flinched, looking up. "What, like burying my husband?" He asked, thinking that he meant it as a joke, but his tone coming out far dryer and more serious. Was that was Sam was offering? Pulling his fingers into a fist, Remi's lips trembled into a smile as he looked away, too-pale eyes falling on the darkened rock walls that he couldn't quite see. You said that last time too. And leaving me alone was exactly what you did. Remi thought, unable to stem the hurtful thoughts. If Ronin died again, for as large a well of forgiveness that Remi possessed, Sam was likely the last person he'd want around. They'd already been down that road. Remi knew where it lead. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

Samuel

We can leave life for tomorrow
Or grieve all that we thought we’d do

Sam took in a sharp breath as Remi bit back his response, feeling a deep and painful shame in his heart and feeling tears prick to his eyes; but he couldn't let them fall. Not when Remi was going through so much. It felt crass.

"I..um...y-you're right, I'm sorry, though that wasn't...wasn't what I meant exactly but um.." Wringing his hands, Sam shook his head. He hadn't really had anything specific in mind. Whether Remi had wanted him to bring him meals or tidy the house or be there for something as dark as a burial, he wouldn't have minded. But he supposed he had to remember what he had done, and what it had meant.

Sam had thought himself forgiven, but he could see that with Remi's hope and kindness gone, there was still a large and sore crack in their relationship. "I'm sorry. I..I'll guide you b-back up."

Or make each moment new

Remi's emotional well was nearly empty now, and though he knew his silence was likely upsetting to Sam, the alchemist had to press himself to care. It wasn't that he didn't, it was moreso that he hadn't the energy to show it. "Thanks Sam." He said gently, extending his hand in the darkness. If it was taken, Remi would squeeze softly against the bookmaker's long fingers. Perhaps as a gesture, it didn't' communicate what Remi needed or wanted it to, but having just hit another dead end it was all that Remi could give. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me