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all this time i was finding myself & i didn't know? i was lost

Hopelessness was not an emotion the alchemist wore well. Never in his life had he had the desire to simply stare at the wall, or the empty fireplace. But now, with Ronin all but banished from the guildhall, it was all Remi seemed to have energy for. That, and Aoife of course. As when Ronin had died the first time, it was easy to pour everything he had into the starry-eyed girl. Now was no different, but when she was out, it was hard to find motivation to do anything more than breathe or rack his fingers through his curls endlessly, whispering silent prayers that he knew were going unheard.

Like a mockery of all that he'd tried and failed to do, Vi's roses sat in a small trough filled with soil, that Remi had made. Sitting and staring at them for a long while, eventually the alchemist forced himself from the couch.  Reaching in with bare hands, Remi grabbed at the rose which was the most wilted—the one Ronin had crushed and the alchemist had tried to bring back to life—and and stomped outside before he could think better of it.

In the dirt, directly below the stargazing platform he'd built not so long ago for Ronin, Remi clawed at the earth with talons and paws. He could move it with magical means, but something about the soil beneath his nails felt cathartic.

THE

ALCHEMIST

Ianto

"Remi."

Ianto hadn't been sure what had made him come into the Hollowed Grounds, but since his time away with Arduinna, he didn't feel quite as wary of the place as he had done previously. Still, that absolutely didn't explain what he was doing at the guildhall, only that... well. He had heard about what was happening with Ronin, and given that he had three roses to plant (two, now) and one of them was to go to the Spire...

He thought he might as well check in. So sue him. He was allowed, right?

The fox was bundled up in his long coat and the moss green scarf that had been gifted to him not so long ago, Ianto carrying a small wicker basket with the two roses laying inside like beads of blood. "Do you need any help...?"

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all this time i was finding myself & i didn't know? i was lost

The sound of Ianto's voice made the alchemist jump and turn, eyes wide and slightly wild. He'd been expecting Ronin if anyone at all, and lately Ronin's arrivals usually included yelling. Hearing his name said so...softly perhaps, was all the more chilling for he hadn't heard it that way in a while.

Help? Remi had mastered earth magic, had—turning to look where he was going to plant the rose, the alchemist saw the area with fresh eyes: upturned dirt, the ground scared with claw marks, soil everywhere. Hardly the place in which something so precious should be planted. Leaning back to collapse into a seated position, Remi ran a hand across his forehead leaving a smear of dirt behind. "More than you know." He chuckled darkly, before allowing himself a furtive glance at the fox's too-blue stare.

THE

ALCHEMIST

Ianto

"Lucky I'm here then, isn't it?" Ianto said with a quiet smile, vaulting over the fence to trudge over to Remi, his boots crunching on snow and frozen ground. He examined the area where the other man had been attempting, it looked like, to plant a rose that seemed very much worse for wear. He doubted the thing would take root there, the fox offering a sympathetic smile and offering Remi a hand up.

"Maybe at the front of the guildhall would be better?" he suggested. "I'll even plant one with you, if you like."

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all this time i was finding myself & i didn't know? i was lost

Lucky? Oh..well..the alchemist would not answer that.

Glancing up as Ianto came near, annoyingly back lit and handsome against the winter sun making him look all the more dramatic than he needed (or had any right) to be, the alchemist glanced down at the offered hand with a smile that was more tentative than it normally was. In the vulnerable pit of despair that he'd dug himself into, he already knew how comforting even a hand up would be. But he couldn't accept that comfort from Ianto of all people.

Once Remi thought himself strong enough to prevail against all temptation. And then he and Ronin had killed a man, and since then...well. Remi wasn't sure what he was and wasn't capable of just now.

"Ah, would not want you to get dirty." Remi said with a laugh, flashing muddy hands at the fox and heaving himself to his feet on his own. Reaching down to grab some snow to help remove some of the dirt, he smiled almost secretively at the fox's suggestion. "I would like that. If only so that if yours turns out better than mine, I can take credit." He added with a laugh.

THE

ALCHEMIST

Ianto

Whilst Ianto could understand completely why Remi would not want to accept a hand up from him, he couldn't help but raise a friendly eyebrow at the strange justification. "I live in a wagon in the woods and I regularly wander those same woods as a fox," he pointed out, his tone warm and jovial. "A bit of dirt will hardly hurt me." Even so, he stepped back to give the other man room to get to his feet, Ianto flashing him a golden smile at his comments.

"Oh, I see how it is," he said, strolling back the way he had come - he didn't like to presume and start wandering around the guildhall grounds. "Well, you're welcome to take the credit for my gardening Remi. I'm terrible at it." Chuckling, he vaulted back over the fence with the intention of meeting the alchemist at the front of the guildhall.

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all this time i was finding myself & i didn't know? i was lost

"And yet you always look so good." The alchemist commented far too easily, only catching the words once they'd already left his lips. "Clean, I mean." He added quickly, clearing his throat as he wiped his hands on his pants to both clean and dry them.

Raising a brow, the hawk watched the fox take the long way around with a quietly amused smirk. Ianto was more than welcome inside, especially since the guildhall felt far less like a home without Ronin in it. But, it seemed strange to just abandon the fox, and so the alchemist vaulted the fence as well. "Well that is even better. I can just blame you when things turn out poorly." He chuckled falling into step alongside his now maybe-friend.

THE

ALCHEMIST

"Good and clean are the same, huh?" Ianto flashed a grin over his shoulder as he watched Remi jump the fence with him. "You can just compliment me if you want to, Remi. I know I'm irresistible - and that is your loss," he said, his tone haughtily playful as he swaggered towards the front of the guildhall. He hadn't expected that he would be able to joke about it for some time, but it all left his lips so easily that Ianto realised that he really was alright.

He wasn't alone, even if he wasn't with Remi. And that was enough, for now.

And so, turning to walk backwards around the guildhall, he gave the hawk a warm smile. "You can blame me," he said. "It was probably my fault, what happened." Obviously, he wasn't talking about their as-yet-incomplete rose planting.

IANTO

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all this time i was finding myself & i didn't know? i was lost

Clenching his teeth to keep the breath that was expelled from his lungs in, the hawk turned away as a coral blush stole across his cheeks. Rubbing the side of his face against a shoulder to try and compensate for the anxious adrenaline rush thrumming through his system, Remi merely cleared his throat. "Mmmm." He hummed awkwardly as he swatted away a feather from his hair.

As Ianto turned and said what he did, it was so nearly too much. Too close to regret, to close to being wrong, and too close to being a mistake so easily made. And so instead of doing what it was that parts of the alchemist's mind might have wanted, instead he tugged at the earth behind the backwards-walking fox, creating a log buried under the snow for his friend to trip and fall over.

THE

ALCHEMIST

Ianto, of course, was in absolutely no state to see the log coming. Remi would see his blue eyes widen a fraction in surprise, his arms start to pinwheel... and then he was simply gone, tumbling over the log into a heap on the snow. "Oi, watch it! I have god roses here you know!" he complained, spluttering out snow and quickly trying to get his feet back under him.

"Fine, if you didn't want to chat about it you could have just said." Ianto pouted, but there was mischief in his eyes as he brushed himself off, checking Vi's Roses and falling to a halt before the front of the guildhall. "Where do you want to plant them?"

IANTO

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all this time i was finding myself & i didn't know? i was lost

Standing over the fox with a crooked smile, the alchemist shrugged innocently. "I think you should watch it. Clearly." He said with a snort. Watching with amusement as the memory-snow smoothed itself out to completely erase any trace of Ianto's fall, the alchemist's smile faded slightly thinking of the Deepfrost of the year before. Of merriment and snow-dicks. Of how this season would be markedly different.

"It is not...my favourite topic." He said apologetically, but with genuine hurt too. In another world, it would have been you. If Vanya had lived, it would have been. "Besides. You marched me off blind into the woods when last we spoke of it, so .." Shrugging, Remi turned back to the guildhouse to consider.

"I saw a number of them crushed at the shrine. Those with the blight seemed to go out of their way to destroy them. So perhaps a bit farther back?"

THE

ALCHEMIST

"Clearly," Ianto echoed in a drawl, rolling his eyes and falling to a halt before the large old building, trying to survey the best place to plant roses. As Remi spoke, he flicked his gaze across to Remi, expression softening. "Yes... I can imagine," he said softly. "I... I did not treat you well, back then. I was hurt, and selfish... and I'm sorry for not making sure that you got home alright." He sighed, rubbing ashamedly at the back of his neck.

"I'm full glad you did, though," he added, smiling weakly and following Remi's suggestion with a nod. "I noticed, too, some of them were damaged," he murmured, heading to what he thought was a suitable spot and gesturing as if to ask Remi if it would do. "Do you think these will really help?"

IANTO

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all this time i was finding myself & i didn't know? i was lost

"I did. So no harm done." Remi replied with a soft shake of his head, the jittery feeling in his bones warbling with each passing glance at the fox.

With a lengthy sigh, Remi offered the fox a weak laugh. "I was about to ask you the same thing." He said walking towards a patch of snow-covered dirt that seemed as good as any other. Sinking down and balancing on his toes, he glanced towards the merchant. "I know magic is different here...and there are gods but..it just seems strange. The blighted have been ill for weeks now. Safrin has been ill. And after all this time Vi simply makes some roses bloom? What good does it do to plant them? How is this even meant to help?"

THE

ALCHEMIST

Harm had been done, on both sides and in different ways, but Ianto knew better than to dig any further into the matter. Luckily, there was digging a'plenty to do outside his own mind, and claws replaced his hands so he might burrow through the snow to the earth within. Hearing Remi out, the fox hummed out a thoughtful sigh. "He hasn't just made roses bloom," he said, sounding a touch defensive, before giving a self-deprecating grin.

"Sorry. Too much listening to Arduinna, probably. She is under the impression that wherever these roses are planted, they will be able to cleanse the blight. A prick from the thorns might even soothe the blighted, for a time." He shrugged. "Though I imagine you have an inkling of that already. I felt the pull of it all, when I reached the shrine..." Rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand and leaving a smudge of dirt, Ianto reached for his rose.

"The reason it needed to wait until Deepfrost is because the cold will slow the spread of the blight. It gives the roses a chance to... catch up, I suppose."

IANTO

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