Training not a prayer (open)
Loren Launceleyn
Citadel Grand Healer

Age: 22 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 7 (level 6 Attuned) - Strg: 16 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 23 - Luck: 29
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Online
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Posts: 4,003
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#1
LOREN
Loren had come to the temple at the end of the day to pray, and thankfully, this time the gods had ignored his prayers. He was still recovering from his encounter with Frey, and his time in the pit, and trying to process all that had happened. That didn’t stop him from coming out as often as he could to offer what little faith he possessed. While he still wasn’t religious, and didn’t really have a strong relationship to the gods, and wasn’t sure exactly what he believed in, if anything, he at least had conviction and dedication.

That apparently counted for something. And even if it didn’t he’d still come out regularly, since they needed all the blessings they could get nowadays. He was beyond help, but others still needed it.

Standing up from his kneeling position, he sighed and rubbed at his eyes. It was late, and he was tired and not at all looking forward to the trek back to the Manor. It had finally gotten too cold for him to pray at the outdoor shrine at the oasis, which is why he was in the temple instead. It hadn’t proven to be any more or less effective, and at least he wasn’t freezing at the end of it.

Still, everything at home was, well, complicated. There were lots of outsiders—who, to be fair, he had welcomed into his home—and he wasn’t sure where everything stood with Beatrix and Jace. So that, combined with the unpleasant walk through the snow and the chilly air was causing him to linger here rather than, well, doing all the things he was supposed to be doing. And that wasn't even getting into his other personal problems, the ones he was avoiding thinking about and dealing with.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Force and magic can be used against Loren without permission.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
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Posts: 1,962
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#2
Amalia
she was afraid of heights
Amalia, too, has come to pray, a familiar ritual for the pious girl, though one that has changed over the years. Or rather, the location has shifted- when once she made daily trips to the Temple, now she finds herself spending more time in the fields, or laying down her evening absolution in the shrine within her home. Rarely does she find the opportunity to return to this place these days, but when she does it feels like coming home. Here she was blessed to be Attuned by Safrin. Here she was given a future from Ludo. Here she was graced with the presence of Vi.

And what has she done with all these blessings, Amalia wonders as she enters the building, her head bowed reverently in the hallowed halls. Would Vi feel his faith in her rewarded, or has she squandered the grace put on her shoulders, proven herself lesser than she dreamed she might be?

Lately it feels more like the latter. Were she not so faithful, she may even believe her gods have made a mistake.

She does not expect to see Loren here. At their last encounter the Abandoned spoke with some trepidation of the gods; she had not taken him for the type to pray, to kneel at the altars of the Old Ones whom she loves. Amalia greets the mage with a somewhat puzzled smile, tilting her head in silent greeting, her dark eyes soft as she looks upon the man. "Hello, Loren," the Shield says softly, stopping a comfortable distance from him, her breath coiling white as it leaves her lips. "Come to pray?"
but she was much more afraid
of never flying
Loren Launceleyn
Citadel Grand Healer

Age: 22 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 7 (level 6 Attuned) - Strg: 16 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 23 - Luck: 29
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Online
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Posts: 4,003
MP:
#3
LOREN
Last time Amalia had seen Loren, he’d at least possessed some semblance of happiness. However, that had been before meeting Frey. Before his conversation with Remi in the pit. Before the Launceleyn had once again gone and ruined his life through his own folly. He’d ignored all his instincts, the ones that told him he was a monster, bad news, that he would hurt anyone he let close. And he and everyone around him had paid for it.

Now, his cheer was gone, washed away by everything he’d been through recently; in its place, it had left exhaustion and a deep and abiding emptiness where his heart and soul had once been. Oh, sure, he went through the motions, still took care of everything he was supposed to, still came out to pray to gods he didn’t trust and didn’t quite believe him. But when he turned his gaze to her, she’d see that it was blank and dead. It was an accurate representation of his insides, at least.

Still, the baker hadn’t done anything wrong, and so despite his bone-deep need to avoid any and all contact, he mustered up the energy to respond to her in as polite a tone as he could manage. ”Hello, Amalia. Just leaving, actually.” Hopefully that would be enough to get her to leave him alone, even if his voice had come out in more of a pained whisper than he’d intended. He certainly wasn’t going to be able to return her soft expression or her smile. Still, most people he spoke to recently got the hint that he wasn’t exactly in the mood to exchange pleasantries or even to talk at all. He’d provide his magic, his skills, his expertise.

But inside, his thoughts were dark and his emotions darker. And he'd already said more than enough. Best to stay silent from now.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Force and magic can be used against Loren without permission.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,962
MP:
#4
Amalia
she was afraid of heights
The Loren who meets her eyes is not the Loren who came to her bakery not so long ago. That man had been an energetic, overeager creature, somewhat grating in his strange mixture of arrogance and inferiority complex but trying, always, always trying, not unlike the Shield.

The Loren she sees before her now looks as though he has finished trying, and has nothing left to give.

It is a feeling Amalia can relate to acutely, a sensation the girl has been feeling more and more of late. As though the world were a sandcastle onto which she stacked grain after grain, only for the tide to return each evening and wash it out to sea. After a while even the most stubborn child wonders why they bother, looks for other entertainment, moves the structure far from the waves.

They do that or they crumble too, and are swept out with the tide.

Amalia has never been good at mincing words. She is not a bard or healer, and while she is kind she is also blunt, no good at games and graces. For a moment she is silent, contemplating, her dark eyes thoughtful as she looks at Loren, wondering how to respond. He seems to want to go about his way, but...

Sometimes you don't even know you need a friend.

"Do you want to talk about it?"
but she was much more afraid
of never flying
Loren Launceleyn
Citadel Grand Healer

Age: 22 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 7 (level 6 Attuned) - Strg: 16 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 23 - Luck: 29
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Online
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Posts: 4,003
MP:
#5
LOREN
At Amalia’s question Loren paused, his eyes searching hers for any hint of what prompted the question. Granted, he knew how he must look: a hollowed shell of what had already been a shadow of a man, with dark circles under cold eyes, having lost what little weight he’d put on since his return. So it wasn’t as if he was surprised to hear the words. He was just surprised to hear them from the baker. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to make of her, and he would hardly call himself her friend, not she his.

Still, she was probably just being kind. It wasn't something he was used to hearing this days, which was why it was so shocking. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to choke back his automatic response to her question. ”Talk about what?” As always, his first instinct was to deflect, hide away, pretend that everything was fine on the outside even when he was totally empty on the inside.

However, even he would admit that his statement was less than believable. Staring at Amalia with a blank expression, he tried to come up with a response that she’d actually accept. ”There’s nothing to talk about, really. And even if there was, I don’t know if there’s anything you can help me with. So I guess the answer is no, I don’t really want to talk about it.” His words came out a bit cold, but not unkindly.

However, he really was telling the truth: all his problems were self-inflicted and personal, and Amalia didn’t even seem to like him that much. So whether or not he should talk about them didn’t matter. He didn’t want to, and that’s what she had asked.

He didn’t turn to leave quite yet, though. Perhaps some part of him that wasn’t fully closed off yet sensed the concern in her blunt tone, or maybe sensed that she herself was lost and in need of company that he wasn’t equipped to provide. Or maybe it was simply that he was too tired to go out into the cold just to return to his lonely bed. Whatever the reason, he was still here despite the fact that there was nothing she could do for him.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Force and magic can be used against Loren without permission.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,962
MP:
#6
Amalia
she was afraid of heights
She listens silently as he answers her flatly, his voice cold and dull. No, he doesn't want to talk about it, whatever it might be, and honestly? That's a little bit of a relief. The amount of soothing and dwelling and talking Amalia has done recently is frankly somewhat daunting, and the last thing the baker needs is to think about all the things she cannot do anything about.

So Amalia shrugs, a wry and mirthless smile not quite reaching her tired eyes. "Good. Me neither." Her problems, like his, are largely self inflicted, and he's right- they aren't friends. They have no obligation to delve into each other's drama, to listen and lend a sympathetic ear.

They are two ships in a shallow pond, trying desperately to not maroon.

But she doesn't want to be alone, either, because alone means thinking, because alone means remembering all thosw things she doesn't want to talk about. "How about a spar?" she suggests instead, not really sure why but liking the idea of something physical, of pushing herself until her muscles sing. "Loser buys drinks." pays, a callback to when he offered to pay her back for bread. But there's a silent entreaty beneath the wry humor, an honesty in the request. She needs a distraction, and it seems like he does too.

They may not be friends, but they can do this for each other.
but she was much more afraid
of never flying
Loren Launceleyn
Citadel Grand Healer

Age: 22 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 7 (level 6 Attuned) - Strg: 16 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 23 - Luck: 29
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Online
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Posts: 4,003
MP:
#7
LOREN
Apparently honesty had been the right policy: the baker had no interest in talking through whatever issue it was that was on her mind that the summoner’s subconscious had somehow picked up on. And as the Launceleyn had already stated, he wasn’t in a talkative mood. Not now, maybe not ever. He nodded in response to her statement, not feeling the need to acknowledge it with anything more than that. He’d heard her, and he understood. They had at least that much in common.

However, Amalia’s second suggestion was quite an interesting one.

Loren seized her up. Honestly, he had absolutely no idea what to make of her. She was muscular, and graceful, but she was also a baker, so he didn’t know what, if any, combat training she had. Still, as with any unknown opponent, he would assume she was highly skilled until proven otherwise. At that point, it occurred to him that there had never been a question of whether or not he would accept; his blood was already singing in anticipation, and he could feel his magic uncoiling. It had been too long since he'd properly stretched his mind or his muscles in the way he'd been trained his whole life.

While he might not like the legacy his ancestors had left him, he also couldn't deny it entirely. Whatever else they were, the Launceleyns were fighters. He just had to strive to make sure he was fighting for the right causes.

Nodding again, this time with a bit more enthusiasm, he stepped a good distance away from her. "I'm not much of a drinker, but a spar sounds good."  If he won, he wouldn't need much from her, and if she won, well, he'd gladly pay back at least some of the debt he knew he still owed her. While he waited for her to be ready, he glanced around at their surroundings. His most powerful spells and attacks had an unfortunate habit of causing property damage, as the baker should remember full well. Actually, now that he thought about it, they should probably set some ground rules. At least they didn't have any weapons to worry about. ”Unarmed, or anything goes?” He’d likely be at a severe disadvantage if he was forced to rely entirely on his physical skills, but he’d do it. Anything to burn off the fire now kindling in his veins.

Regardless of her response, he gestured for her to make the first move, settling into a defensive crouch, eyes watching her chest for any sign of movement. This wasn't going to be fun.

But it was going to be good.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Force and magic can be used against Loren without permission.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,962
MP:
#8
Amalia
she was afraid of heights
He agrees, remarkably, with a good deal more enthusiasm than she expected, and Amalia's grin turns a little feral, the leopardess begging to be released. Stepping away, she leads him into a side room of the temple: built for similar purposes once upon a time, its bare stone walls are old now and there is a random assortment of junk in a corner, but it will serve its purpose well. Some weapons line the walls, swords and maces and the like, but Amalia does not intend to use them.

She has her own weapons, after all.

Shrugging off her cloak and pack, the baker sets them neatly in a corner before turning to face the man. She is muscular, surprisingly so, her lanky frame fit beneath her clothing, her body flexible and swift. Loren is still skinny, but she knows his magic is strong, and the Shield has no intention of underestimating his powers. As far as she is aware he has only summoning and healing, but both can be used to advantage in a fight. She does not expect to make it out of this unscathed.

She is excited.

He asks his question, and Amalia raises a brow. "Anything goes. Your monsters against mine," the girl replies in an almost growl, her body already shifting and changing, long white fur growing over skin and black claws sprouting from her nails. Without hesitation she charges forward, her shift completing as she moves so that by the time she closes the space between them the leopardess is fully unleashed, feral and ferocious, free at last.

With claws unsheathed and sharp teeth bared the leopard leaps on powerful legs, aiming to close the distance between them in one fluid movement. If he does not find a way to evade her, then her goal is to knock him onto his back, one large paw on his throat in an easy victory. If he does, well... she will cross that bridge when she comes to it. Amalia may be an anxious planner, but the the snow leopard who Loren now faces is not.
but she was much more afraid
of never flying
Loren Launceleyn
Citadel Grand Healer

Age: 22 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 7 (level 6 Attuned) - Strg: 16 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 23 - Luck: 29
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Online
Change author:
Posts: 4,003
MP:
#9
LOREN
Anything went. Well, that suited the summoner just fine. The baker’s monsters might’ve been scary, and his might’ve legendary.

But he knew he was the biggest monster of them all.

As she led them into a stone room, he evaluated their surroundings, pleased the damage he could do would be kept to a minimum. Already, he’d done far more than his fair share to both people and things. Better yet, no one but the baker would see him cut loose. And it had been a long time since he stopped clawing back the darkness and just let it flow. Let all his magic out into the open. They were barely acquaintances, and he found that he suddenly didn’t care about her opinion. Ever since his return he’d been oh so very careful not to offend, to be good, to do what he could for others.

In this room, here, right now, because she’d asked for everything he could give her, he could unleash the shackles he kept on at almost all times. The magic came, eager and practically boiling in his veins. In his heart. In his soul.

Time to find out what he was capable of.

Amalia was incredibly fast. That was the first thing Loren noticed. Well, actually, it was the second: the first was that she morphed into a leopard at a blinding speed before leaping at him in a rush. The fight was almost over then and there. The only things that saved him were that once she left the ground, she couldn’t change her momentum and direction, and that as speedy as she was, his thoughts were pretty quick too.

However, what he summoned surprised even him, perhaps because he'd panicked and reacted without thinking: as he stumbled backwards and away from her pounce, a strange creature appeared in her path. Fire wreathed its feet and spilled out like a mane from its head, which was shaped almost like a dragon, albeit with antlers. It had the body of a horse, but instead of fur it was covered in a beautiful array of scales that shone with every color of the rainbow.

It had been quite a while since Loren called upon a qilin. Perhaps, even in his darkness, he wanted to call forth something that was beautiful and not just destructive. Or perhaps, because Ronin had been on his mind so often of late, a half-forgotten memory had surfaced of a similar spar, in a world that they’d left behind long ago. Regardless, it exploded into the world, already charging forward, antlers lowered to toss Amalia out of the way.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Force and magic can be used against Loren without permission.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,962
MP:
#10
Amalia
she was afraid of heights
Loren stumbles backwards, not to the side, a choice which the leopardess at first thinks dubious but understands immediately as the creature comes into view. Part dragon, part deer, it is a beautiful thing; for a moment the Shield forgets her fight, taken in by awe for the animal, her dark eyes widening in open admiration. Never has the girl seen anything like it, and she is entranced, bewitched, enraptured by its gaze.

It is the heat of it that reminds her of the danger, burning suddenly in the space before her skin. Amalia comes back to herself a little bit dazed, balking and scrambling to avoid the creature, her body flipping and winding around. Seconds too late the girl reacts, her body contorting in the air as wings take the place of forelegs, long tail shifting into feathers which singe within the qilin's flames, sending an acrid smell coiling through the room.

The qilin may be beautiful, but the owl is swift, a small and fervent fighter thoroughly enjoying this new challenge. With a stubborn screech she rises up before plummeting back down, Loren clearly in her sight, talons extended as she attempt to swoop in and grab his fiery hair.
but she was much more afraid
of never flying
Loren Launceleyn
Citadel Grand Healer

Age: 22 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 7 (level 6 Attuned) - Strg: 16 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 23 - Luck: 29
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Online
Change author:
Posts: 4,003
MP:
#11
LOREN
Well, Amalia managed to evade the qilin through dint of the fact that she had more shifts at her disposal than just the leopard. Loren probably should've predicted that, but he was a bit rusty. Although the scent of singed feathers caused his eyes to widen—he hoped it was just feathers and not anything else—he didn’t have too much time to worry about her own safety, because just about then an owl came screeching and sweeping down at a blindingly fast speed.

His concern and confusion cost him a few precious seconds. The screech, however, roused him into action immediately; if she'd stayed silent, he might never have seen the attack coming. As the baker (or at least he assumed the bird was the baker) came for his hair, he threw his hands up in the air to try desperately to defend himself, though without much finesse. At the same time, he reached out with his telekinesis, trying to bat the owl out of the air with his mind, or, failing that, pluck out a handful of feathers that were necessary for flight. It might be a petty tactic, but he wasn’t above the equivalent of pulling hair.

Simultaneously, he has his qilin rear, adding flaming hooves to the air to hopefully deter the owl. For his part, he ducked forward, trying to get under his summoned creature to pop up the other side. However, he felt the raking of talons against the skin of his right arm, even through the shirt he was wearing, and a few spots of pain (and probably blood) bloomed there. Hopefully at least one his efforts to bat the owl away or evade her strike was successful and he managed to buy himself some breathing room.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Force and magic can be used against Loren without permission.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,962
MP:
#12
Amalia
she was afraid of heights
She is surprised when her talons meet skin, not having expected to land a blow, something between embarrassment and exhilaration rushing through her. This is what she wanted: to be physical, to be aggressive, to let out her pent up emotion on someone whose opinion of her is already low. And yet as the scent of blood assaults her delicate senses the owl finds herself somewhat dismayed while simultaneously triumphant at her success.

A success which is to be short-lived. Having never been gripped by telekinetic magic before the owl is caught entirely off guard, hooting as she finds herself flying away from Loren through a power entirely outside herself. Luckily the unexpected trajectory keeps her out of the qilin's hooves, and as Amalia lands to the ground she once again finds herself taking on leopard form, her body growing in size and shape, a snarl on her feline face.

Stepping back from where the man cowers behind the qilin Amalia begins a slow, steady prowl, stalking and thoughtful- until a sudden explosion of action sends her flying once again at the beast, leopardess legs giving her speed and power which she clings to as she shifts again.

Her goal is to become an otter and slip beneath the qilin's hooves, counting on it having already made an effort to block the much larger cat. If she succeeds in her ruse she will be within grabbing distance of Loren once again; if not, well, hopefully she will at least avoid being crushed in this small and nimble form
but she was much more afraid
of never flying
Loren Launceleyn
Citadel Grand Healer

Age: 22 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 7 (level 6 Attuned) - Strg: 16 - Dext: 19 - Endr: 23 - Luck: 29
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Online
Change author:
Posts: 4,003
MP:
#13
LOREN
Amalia was fast and graceful where Loren was slow and felt unsure on his feet. He’d never been much of a fighter, even when his magic had grown strong enough to consider putting him on the front lines; while he had the instincts and the training, he didn’t have the experience to know how to deal with the bakers assault.

Thankfully, his wild bursts off telekinetic energy sent her off course, and he managed to escape to the other side of the qilin. However, he wasn’t in the clear yet: he saw her shift back to leopard form and start stalking around. Seeing as it was a slow movement, he figured he should make the most of the time she was providing him. First things first: he sent a pulse of healing magic to the small wounds in his arm. It flared a soft sky-blue and immediately the pain ceased. Gathering his magic, he created a dagger in his right hand. It was dull and the edge would bruise before it would cut, but she didn’t know that.

Then his time was up, since Amalia was pouncing; he sent the qilin forward in a charge, but already she had disappeared and his eyes narrowed. Assuming she was going to fly at him again, he dashed to one side and dismissed the qilin. While it was pretty and powerful it was apparently no match for her speed. Mostly, he was worried about her leopard form, so as he saw an otter speeding towards him—just how many shifts did she have, anyway?—he threw the dagger, using his telekinesis as much as his arm. He wasn’t trying to hurt her, just buy himself a few more seconds to summon something else. If the otter got close enough, he was planning to bat it away with telekinesis, but he figured she was about to pounce again, so even as he ran to the side, he prepared to throw himself to the ground. He just needed a few more seconds.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Force and magic can be used against Loren without permission.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,962
MP:
#14
Amalia
she was afraid of heights
She need not fear the qilin's hooves: Loren dismisses it as she pounces, and by the time the otter hits the hard stone floor the beautiful creature is gone. Instead a dagger flies out at her, taking Amalia by surprise. It is guided by magic and the blade lands true, catching her unaware in her left shoulder, throwing her off her trajectory with the impact and leaving what will certainly be an impressive bruise.

Yelping unhappily, Amalia scrambles to find purchase on the smooth stone floor, still hoping to land a blow on Loren despite this unexpected setback. As he dives to the side she darts out again, this time hoping to latch onto his ankle. If he does not evade her then small otter claws will dig into the leg of his pants as she shifts back into a larger form, turning from a minute creature to one of significant size and strength. She does not want to claw him, only to catch him off balance, send him crashing to the ground so she can pin him with the leopard's bulk.

She wants to win, if just this once. To prove that she is capable, strong, and in control of something, if even just a spar.
but she was much more afraid
of never flying


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