From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Loren accepted Remi’s hug gratefully, if not gracefully. Drained as he was from the intense healing, the summoner just let himself be pulled into the alchemist, basically getting dragged across the ground; as the wing and hand encircled the Launceleyn he wrapped his own free hand around the other man. ”Don’t say anything. And no thanks necessarily. I was just...making things right.” For once, Loren could say that and be sure he was telling the absolute truth.
Close as the summoner was, the alchemist felt something inside of himself twitch and stir—though not what you're thinking. "Loren, I—" —smell blood. The alchemist shivered as his more predatory instincts began to inwardly salivate and grow restless. Looking down and across the summoner's body to see where his claws had torn the material of Loren's pants and where blood had soaked through, he gasped unsteadily, fighting to release the summoner and sit up. "—you are bleeding." And then, realizing how it must have happened, he tensed. Unsure if Loren had healed himself or not he looked hastily back towards the summoner with shining green eyes full of regret and worry.
did it bend or did I break?
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Loren had not, of course, healed himself, because he’d been so single-mindedly focused on helping Remi. It had taken every ounce of attention and power he could call upon, though there was still enough magic in him for another spell or two. That was surprising: he wasn’t used to having this much power at his beck and call.
At the alchemist’s comment, the summoner glanced down, noticing the blood for the first time. He’d felt the pain, of course, but hadn’t bothered to identify the source, given that it was minor compared to most of the injuries he’d experienced in his life. Still, the obvious distress in the other man’s voice spurred the Launceleyn into action. ”It’s alright Remi. I’m fine.” Rolling onto his back, not trusting his limbs to support his weight just yet, Loren laid his hand on his leg and called up what little energy remained within him. His fingers glowed softly, far less bright than they had earlier, and wiped away the claw marks without leaving a trace.
Remi shifted so that the summoner could lay down, holding his breath with anxious worry as soft blue light poured from Loren's fingers. Releasing the air in his lungs in a shaky wooosh as the claw marks went away, the alchemist laughed a discordant and weary sound of relief. Reaching out, Remi placed a hand over the torn material to magically knit it back together. "I did not even realize..." Running a hand across his eyes and squeezing them tightly shut, the alchemist tried not to grind his teeth in response to the billowing cloud of unhappy embarrassment rising up from a cold pit in his stomach.
"...I did not even realize I was doing it." He concluded lamely, letting his hand fall back to the ground and looking down at the summoner with a sigh.
did it bend or did I break?
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Loren looked on curiously as Remi fixed the holes in the summoner’s pants. He didn’t know which of the alchemist’s many magics he was employing, though the Launceleyn supposed it didn’t really matter. However, at the distressed sounds and motions the other man made as he fussed over the now-healed wound, Loren’s chest grew tight. When the alchemist’s hand flopped to the ground, the summoner placed his own over it, giving it a gentle squeeze. ”Don’t you dare feel bad. It wasn’t your fault, and no harm done.” After all, the Launceleyn hadn't needed to push through the healing; he could’ve stopped as soon as he realized the other man was losing control of his shifts and the summoner might be in danger. At least it had been that and not Remi’s magic.
Besides, it had been an incredibly small price to pay to bring back Remi’s eyes.
"It was absolutely my fault. And just because you healed yourself does not mean there was not harm before." The alchemist countered, closing his eyes for a moment and filling his lungs enough that his rib cage expanded. "It...is harder to control them all, now that there are more." He explained of his shifts, exhaling. "Especially the manticore. It lurks far closer to the surface than any of the others have done." Opening his eyes slightly to gaze down at Loren, Remi gave his head a dispirited shake. "Feathers in my hair is one thing...but claws? Teeth?" He gave the summoner a sad smile. "I am not sure I have ever felt so out of control before." This was said in a low whisper, his eyes glancing down to the Launceleyn's hand on his.
did it bend or did I break?
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Alright, this wouldn’t do. It simply would not do. This should’ve been a joyous occasion, but Remi was clearly upset about having inadvertently wounded Loren. Sighing, he finally sat up, finding the strength from somewhere to scoot over to the alchemist. The summoner threw one arm across the other man’s shoulder, and the Launceleyn’s voice came out kindly, if a bit gently chiding. ”If you had taken medicine for your eyes, with an uncontrollable side effect that caused you to lash out without wanting to, would you be blaming yourself right now? That’s what this was. That's all this was. Do you believe that?” Remi had never meant to harm Loren, that was the important thing to remember. And it really wasn’t the other man’s fault, seeing as the summoner’s explanation was the truth.
”More good came from this than harm. Even knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have changed a single thing. I’m happy.” He nudged the alchemist’s shoulder. ”I want you to be happy too.” The Launceleyn had said that earlier, and he’d meant it both times.
The alchemist raised a brow at the summoner, letting one of his large wings shuffle slightly as the man wrapped an arm around his shoulder. The other was still held up to partially block the light from the window, though it was getting easier to bear. "If I hit the reflex point on your knee and you kicked me square in the face, would you apologize?" Knowing Loren, he absolutely would. "I do understand what you are saying...I suppose the difference is at least with a medicine I could..distance myself. Make sure I would not hurt anyone. With what I am now, it just happens, especially when I am riled." Looking down at one of his hands, he turned it palm-side up and watched as the skin contorted to rough sandpaper-like pads and long sharp claws grew from his nail beds. "Have you ever felt like that? To not be in control of what you might do?"
Glancing across at the summoner as he nudged his shoulder, Remi smiled despite himself. Happiness was...something the alchemist could only really achieve when he compartmentalized. On the one hand, it seemed Loren did maybe want to be friends and had given him back his sight. On the other though, Ronin was a wild blight-creature and Aoife maybe was or wasn't a young adult now.
"Gods your eyes are blue." Remi noted with a low chuckle, his flight feathers stretching to let more light streak across the summoners face. "I still...see some colours the way I did before. Like the colours themselves are real somehow." Remi hadn't the vocabulary to describe things at the best of times, let alone this strange magical phenomena.
did it bend or did I break?
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Loren chuckled at Remi’s hypothetical. ”I would. Though mostly I’d be confused why you put your face there.” However, the summoner grew more serious as the alchemist continued to speak. It seemed that the other man was concerned with more than just what had happened with the Launceleyn here today.
However, it was Remi’s lucky day, it seemed: Loren was finally in a place where he could be honest, and even give what might be some useful advice. ”Of course I have. I feel that way all the time.” His voice came out kindly and without hesitation. It was why he was always so careful, tried not to hurt those close to him. However, he was a Launceleyn. He’d be insane not to be worried about losing control. ”Everyone does, I think, though some are better at hiding it than others. It’s why I meditate so often. And when that doesn’t work, it’s why I go somewhere I can’t hurt anyone and blow off some excess energy.” The alchemist wasn’t alone in this particular phenomenon, though maybe the other man wasn’t used to feeling this way, given how kind he was.
At the alchemist’s comment, the summoner blushed and looked away, running his free hand through his hair. ”Uh...thanks, I guess?” He honestly wasn’t sure if it had been a compliment or just an observation. Regardless, given the other man's declaration of love earlier, the Launceleyn decided to play it safe. However, when Remi next spoke, Loren looked at him sharply. ”What do you mean? Did I mess up? I-is there still something wrong with your eyes?” The Launceleyn had been so convinced that everything had been healed that the thought that it might not be (or worse, that he’d botched the spell somehow) made him nearly panic.
"Meditate?" Remi repeated, sounding genuinely confused. He knew vaguely what the term and practice meant, though from what he remembered of Northaven it was utilized normally among the magic-users as a way of honing their skills. By extension, it wasn't something practiced at all among commoners like himself.
"I..try to spend time shifted, so that at least it does not sneak up on me. But...it can be hard to communicate, especially when so many in my life are not attuned." He supposed belatedly that Loren might not understand just how much harder it made it, when he couldn't simply open himself up mentally to those around him, having never experienced it himself. "Partially shifting lips and teeth and vocal chords is...not comfortable." He added with a sheepish smile and shrug.
"Oh..ah, no. I mean, not wrong, I suppose." Remi muttered shaking his head, trying to puzzle out how to explain it. "I do not know how to explain it really, since I do not understand. But it seems like people I know well sort of...not glow exactly—" Ronin glowed, for example, literally. And this wasn't like that all. "—but..ahh..here."
Turning to face Loren, the alchemist opened his eyes and blinked a few times, as if indicating that was where the Launceleyn should look. "See the colour? And now..?" Curling his outside wing to full encompass their heads and block out most of the light, the alchemist blinked again, though this time Loren likely wouldn't see a thing. "And now?"
did it bend or did I break?
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Loren was once again reminded that very few people in Caido possessed his particular background. His family practiced the old ways of magic, whereas Remi hadn’t been a mage at all until quite recently. So as powerful as the alchemist was, there were a few basic techniques he’d never learned. ”It’s a method for calming and centering yourself, for ordering your thoughts. You sort of...regulate your breathing and your body, and in doing so it keeps your mind and emotions in check." At least in theory, if not in practice. "I can teach you, if you’d like?” The summoner’s voice grew tentative and uncertain towards the end; he wasn’t sure, even now, if the other man would accept any gifts from the Launceleyn, especially given how poor an explanation he’d just given.
Although he’d heard about the ways in which the Attuned could communicate without words, Loren had obviously never experienced it for himself. ”I’m sorry to hear that. But, well, it’s not exactly what I meant.” The Launceleyn eyed the other man, giving Remi a considering look. ”Haven’t you ever just...cut loose?" Sometimes letting the tension go was the only way to deal with it. It wasn’t pretty—and it was scary sometimes, to let all the negative emotions out—but occasionally it was necessary.
As the other man tried to explain the summoner bit his lip. He didn’t understand in the slightest, even after Remi blocked out the light. Loren just had to squint to see in the sudden darkness. ”So...there is something different about your vision, then.” He couldn’t keep the disappointment from his voice, and surely the alchemist could feel it when the summoner slumped forward, a defeated posture stealing over him.
"How does breathing help with that?" He asked naively, the skepticism in his voice directed moreso at his ignorance, rather than disbelief of what the summoner was describing. Always one interested in learning new things, Remi nodded immediately, flashing the Launceleyn a boyish smile of agreement. "I would like that, especially if it does keep me from shredding your legs in the future." He added with a wry chuckle.
"Cut loose?" Remi repeated with a dry amusement, brows raised, and a mischief sparkle in his now vivid sea-glass stare. "You mean...in Northaven when I was forced to create weaponry and carry on relationships with women so as not to be thrown in jail? Or here, where I was immediately cursed, then you disappeared, LongNight came, I was cursed again, Ronin died, I was blinded..." The alchemist trailed off with a laugh. "So no, I never really have. My life before Caido was about restraint and precisely not doing the things I wanted. And here? I suppose I have worried too much about not dying, not having others die, and attending to whatever madness the gods throw at me next for much else." This wasn't said sulkily or with any real animosity. It simply was how he life was, and as he had done when he was younger, the alchemist didn't let himself want for anything more.
"You are not listening." The alchemist said patiently. "I take it you cannot see my eyes anymore? See me, really?" Yes, Remi could feel Loren slumping, but he could see it too. Lowering his head slightly to peer up at the summoner, the alchemist splayed his feathers to let rectangles of light filter through. "But I could see you the whole time." It wasn't dark or night vision. It was as if the darkness simply didn't touch Loren, not in Remi's eyes anyways. Which in a way was what the alchemist had been trying to tell the summoner all along, optics aside.
did it bend or did I break?
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Loren shrugged at Remi’s question. ”I don’t know. It just does.” The Launceleyns weren’t exactly in the habit of questioning something that worked. Returning the alchemist’s boyish smile with a much less effusive one, the summoner wondered whether meditation would actually help. Still, it was worth a shot. ”Alright. Just let me know when.”
Even though the other man did his best to keep an amused and mischievous tone in his voice and expression in his eyes, the Launceleyn couldn’t help the sad look that stole over his own features. ”Right. You’re right. I’m sorry.” It was yet another sign of the privilege the summoner had once—and probably still did—possess, the ability to get away with things that others could not. And the list of tragedies the alchemist had recounted was depressing no matter how cheerfully it was said.
While Loren hadn’t ever imagined he might actually cure Remi’s blindness, if the Launceleyn had dared to hope or dream about it, he wouldn’t have pictured this: both of them weakened and tired and the summoner, at least, depressed. What should have been a happy day was quickly turning sour. Then again, that was about par for the course for him.
Yeah, no, he still didn’t get it. So much for optics. ”So you can see in the dark? Is that...something about you being Attuned?” If that was the case, then maybe Loren wasn’t to blame after all. However, he hadn’t heard of anyone but the Ascended with an ability like that, so it was surprising to hear the other man admit he could do it too.
The alchemist merely shrugged away the Launceleyn's apology, knowing that it wouldn't do any good to tell him it wasn't needed. Life didn't need to be fair, that was one of the primary lessons he'd been taught as a commoner. And so, despite the mounting trials he'd had to endure, the alchemist didn't find himself existentially unbalanced because of it.
Rolling his eyes, Remi softly bopped Loren on the side of the head with one of his feathers, before letting his wing fall back to the ground. "It is not like seeing in the dark, no. It.." If only the alchemist had the language of cameras or photoshop to explain. Drawing his knees to his chest and resting his forearms loosely on them, linking his fingers together, Remi leaned his head back against the workbench behind them. "From what I understand, those who can see in the dark still do not really see colour, or they only see a few. Just...the contrast shifts. This is like..." Letting his head lean back towards the summoner, the alchemist bit the inside of his cheek and considered. "When you look at me now, you can see the colour of my eyes. In the dark you cannot, but I can, as if the light was never gone. You do not glow, you are not any brighter, you just...have colour."
Hissing out a frustrated breath and knowing he was making a mess of things, Remi sighed and shook his head. "I can see all the ways that I could see before. You did that." He said reassuringly, nudging Loren's shoulder. "But I can see this extra way too. Like I said, not everyone has this extra colour to me...but for those that do, I see them differently. Better, somehow."
did it bend or did I break?
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
