shut the door & cut me open

aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

The walk home from Roana's townhome was a strange one. Awash in a sea of emotions that continued to churn and froth with a wicked chill at the back of the alchemist's mind no matter how hard he tried to force himself to settle, the alchemist walked like a ghost in his own body.

Roana was the one threatening the ascended. Roana, the one with a blade to Sam's throat who'd looked Remi right in the eyes and had said nothing.

Roana the one who..loved...Ronin?

There was also the unfettered rage, the lackluster hatred for how the former-soldier seemed to so easily accept genocide as a solution. The way the primal and predatory shifts inside of the alchemist wanted to claw out her throat when she goaded him to do it. The way he already knew where and how to hide a body so that it wouldn't be found.

And so, not that Remi would go anywhere else after such a strange encounter, it was straight to the guildhall and his husband that Remi went. Ronin, who'd helped him see that the laws of a land were not always just and worth following, Ronin who had said the alchemist could make his own way. And so it would be Ronin, his partner in (literal) crime and in everything else, who he needed to talk this through with.

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It was strange to be home.

It was strange to feel warm.

It was strange not to feel as though he was watching the world from someone else's eyes, from somewhere strange and bleak and frightening.

Strange though it might be, Ronin was still ecstatic about it. In the days since he had come back from the jail he'd not really ventured outside, more than content to continue to potter away at the guildhall - and get a routine back. Currently that routine consisted of training and eating (his appetite was truly monstrous, right now) - and so when Remi arrived home, it would be to the sight of his husband sprawled out on the thick rug before the fire with a bowl of stew in hand.

Sweaty and tousled from training in the snow, it was with bright eyes and a brighter smile that he turned to greet the alchemist. His bowl was nearly empty, so he felt no sadness in putting it down that he might go and greet Remi.

"You," he said, "missed me falling spectacularly on my face. I had to make a snow angel to escape a snowdrift and everything." Sighing dramatically, the hunter drew close so he could slip his arms around his husband's waist, drawing him close to brush his lips across his cheek in a gentle kiss. "You seem troubled."

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aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

As adorably tousled as his husband might have been, the walk home hadn't entirely shaken the unwieldy fury that had wound itself tightly around his muscles. And so despite the bright spark in an impossibly blue stare that normally was a panacea to all of Remi's worries, the alchemist merely regarded the man before him. Hardly hearing any of the words Ronin was saying through the thick fog of anger and the nausea of what the alchemist had done (and heard) slowly rising over him like a cold wave, he snapped out of it slightly as Ronin's arms encircled him and his lips pressed against his cheek.

"I..." Remi tugged in a breath before turning a shaky stare towards his partner. "...did something. I.." Worriedly, he glanced behind Ronin, as if expecting to see Sam or Nate suddenly appearing just at the absolute wrong time. Shaking slightly, the alchemist brushed a hand through his hair.

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Remi was like a statue as Ronin drew close, and the guildmaster leant back to arch an eyebrow at his husband, as if to try and gauge what the matter was. His arms still loosely wound about Remi's waist, Ronin frowned gently and heard him out. "You... did something?" he began quietly, unsure what to make of that. The last time either of them had done something they had crossed a line there was no going back from.

"What happened? What do you need?" Surprisingly calm, his tone low and understanding, he pulled Remi a little closer, turning to lead them back towards the fire where they could sit and talk. "Whatever it is, I'll help you fix it."

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aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

Oh, this was a line alright. Many of them.

"I don't know. You. I need you. And to explain." This was said in a rush of anxious air, as Remi slipped an arm around Ronin's waist as well, anchoring himself there as they walked towards the fire. Slumping down against the stones and making sure to drag Ronin down right next to him, the alchemist gazed across at his husband unsure where to start.

"I...it was Roana." He said at first, and then the words simply wouldn't stop: "Roana was the one who threatened Sam. She said something about Ludo telling her to kill all the ascended and that she means to do it. I...well, Amalia and I, not that she did anything," Remi was quick to add, defensive of the baker. "...I threatened her." Faster the words came, the more hushed tones they were coated in. "...I pinned her against the wall and when she told me to kill her right then and there..." Feeling sick to his stomach now, Remi reached out for one of Ronin's hands, clutching it as if for dear life. "..and I wanted to." He said in a gasp, clenching his teeth together as feathers bristled through-out his curls and down his spine.

"And then—" Remi gave his husband a look that seemed properly mad, unhinged, an on the verge of laughter. "—she said she was in love with you."

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The only part of what Remi said that Ronin heard, at first, was I need you, and there was little more that he needed to know. Slumping down beside his husband, he let a warm hand rest against Remi's leg, a thumb stroking across his knee. Quietly, the guildmaster listened - his blue eyes widened a fraction to hear about Roana, true, but otherwise he tried to absorb what had happened without judgement.

The confrontation, the news about Ludo, the Ascended threats, the weird exclamation of love - all of it could be dealt with. But the madness in Remi's eyes, no; that needed his immediate attention and the rest could wait in line. "Hey..." Gently Ronin cupped the alchemist's face, his fingers smoothing gently through feathered hair to come to rest on his shoulders and rub carefully at the tense spots he was sure he'd find there.

"You have been through so much, lately," he told him, not breaking the other man's gaze. "More than any have a right to ask of you. And you've just carried it around. You're tired, and rightly so. Of course you reacted badly to someone threatening your friends like this. Remi, I'm proud of you for being strong - but you don't have to be any more. I'm home. And I've got you."

A small smile curled at his lips. "Roana is in love with me though, huh? That's news to me."

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aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

Flinching, as if the gentleness in Ronin's voice was somehow warranted, Remi drew in a breath and offered his husband an imploring and wounded a stare. A stare that said he deserved to be yelled at, scolded, and probably locked up. But whatever restraint he'd shown in not killing Roana earlier had completely drained him of everything left, and so despite the reservations he had, Remi slumped appreciatively against Ronin, letting his husband's strong hands soothe away tension and feathers.

What came next was the strangest jumble of emotions though. Hearing the king reiterated that he was indeed home and at the alchemist's side made tears spring to Remi's eyes as a bubble of anxious laughter began to grow in his throat. Glancing up with the intention of saying something adoring or inappropriate (or both), he instead barked a hollow laugh at the mention of Roana.

"Literally Ronin, my hand against her throat, and she...how did she say it..." The alchemist squinted slightly, but the memory of the last hour was a blur. "Something about how when she watched the man she love die she...followed your last dying orders or something, while I just curled up here in the guildhall." With a groan of disbelief Remi rolled his eyes, before nudging Ronin with his shoulder. "Oh don't look so smug about it. Half of this place is in love with you I think."

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As Remi slumped against him Ronin dropped a gentle kiss onto his curls, his fingers dutifully working out tension and rubbing warmth and ease into the alchemist's shoulders and upper back. Smiling at the sudden bubbling up of laughter, he tilted his head to rest it against Remi's, only to raise his eyebrows as he spoke again.

There was a lot he might say or think in response to the comments about Roana; thoughts that had a flush of heat in his blood that had nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with fury about Remi's treatment; confusion and outrage rolling into one, and the same disbelieving laughter that wanted to overtake it all. "Oi," he said through a chuckle, nudged by his husband. "I don't care how many are apparently in love with me. I love you - just you. You're the only one whose feelings I care about."

That and his daughter, obviously, but they weren't talking familial or platonic love, he assumed.

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aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

The alchemist groaned as if unhappy, though at the moment he was anything but. Only a few moments in Ronin's company had entirely dissolved the block of anger as if it were no more than an icecube in the wake of an inferno. "Shut up. You are making it impossibly hard to be upset, and I am meant to be upset." The alchemist whined, before leaning in to steal kiss from Ronin's lips that seemed to warm him in a way that fire or alcohol never quite had been able to.

Pulling back, Remi scrubbed a hand roughly across his face before ruffling it through his curls. "Honestly, I should probably have brought Amalia with me. She wanted to come but...I just needed it to be you and I for right now. But she can likely explain more. But Ronin...Roana really thinks she is meant to take out the ascended. All of them. That Ludo says it is the only way." His voice tremored in pitch to indicate just how ridiculous it all was. "This is not even our war, not...really." Or at least if it was, the alchemist had really no idea what the battle lines were, or what side they were all meant to be on. "And I do believe Sam and the others that they did not know the Voice's plans about spreading the blight...But I did mean it Ronin. I will not let her hurt any of them." He concluded, flashing his husband a determined look, knowing that by doing so he was probably verging on this conversation having king-related implications rather than just husband ones.

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Letting out a bright laugh as Remi complained, Ronin was happily silenced by the lips that came to meet his own, and he felt himself unconsciously relax. "Absolutely not," he said softly. "You are not meant to be upset - you've spent too long being upset lately. Luckily, yours truly is here to make sure you always have a reason to smile." With a charming grin, he shrugged. "Or in the case of my being an idiot, laugh instead."

Regardless of his attempts to cheer Remi up, however, what the alchemist had to say was regrettably sobering. Humming out a sigh, Ronin gathered Remi against him and settled back against the stones. "We can pay a visit to Amalia later and get her views on it," he said softly, frowning a touch at Remi's determination, but currently offering no opinion of his own - king or otherwise.

Because it was his war, now. Now that Safrin's starlight ran through his veins, now that her magic had spared their daughter - now Ronin's duty was to the Old Gods, however much he might like to play otherwise. "We will make sure no one gets hurt," he said finally. "Not Roana. Not the Ascended. No one."

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aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

Much as he wanted to grump and groan about the madness of a few hours ago, the alchemist found himself indeed laughing. He tried to shoot Ronin a displeased look but simply ended up looking like the smitten idiot that he was, and that he was always reduced to in the presence of his husband.

Sighing and happily letting himself be held, warmed by the fire and the body that now, thankfully, could retain heat again, Remi hummed a note of agreement. "I have never seen her that angry before either." Pulling up the sleeve of his shirt, the alchemist showed Ronin the claw marks left on his arm. "She was trying to stop me..or get my attention at least. But I have never seen her even close to that before."

The not the ascended part Remi could certainly get behind. But the not Roana part? The alchemist grit his teeth. He'd not make false promises, least of all to Ronin, but in his heart of hearts, darkened by the murder of Skyler, the alchemist wasn't so sure he could commit to guaranteeing the ex-captain's safety were she to ignore his warning.

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Ronin frowned gently at the sight of the scratches on Remi's arm, feeling a surge of protective irritation flare in his chest and throat, before he reminded himself that it was Amalia, and she had likely been trying to calm the situation down. (For all of her rage, he knew the baker to be almost entirely pacifistic).

The hunter knew exactly what Remi might be thinking about not Roana, but ultimately it was a bridge they would cross when they came to it. As a soldier, death was not nearly so fine a line for him to cross - not that Skyler hadn't been an exception. He had been, but their daughter was safe and that was the end of it, in his eyes.

And so he sat with his husband next to the fire, lazily talking further through the events that had brought them here, to this point, until the flames were low and Ronin's stomach started to rumble again.

---

Snow was still falling, a few days later. Surprise, surprise. For his part Ronin had finally begun to venture outside and around the guildhall, lopping icicles from the window shutters and making sure the training grounds weren't buried. Currently he was shovelling a pathway up to the main doors; the exercise felt good in his burning muscles, and he was humming tunelessly under his breath as he forged his way home.

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Remi too was making his way home, from his shop of all things. With Ronin home and more or less well, the alchemist found it easier to make time for the things he'd been neglecting, chief among them being his shop and LongNight preparation. Only neither of which were things he'd worked on that day.

Bundled up in scarves and pelts, Remi made his way to the guild with a deep frown on his face, a wounded and heavy heart, but the clearest eyes he'd had in months. Though unfortunately that clarity was only literal, and not metaphorical. Looking up to see Ronin jauntily making his way in the same direction, Remi found a smile curling on his lips as he jogged forward to walk the rest of the way at Ronin's side. Before reaching him however, the alchemist paused in the falling snow, his smile wide, cheeks, rosy, and sea-glass stare bright once again.

"Hey." He called with boyish flare, batting his lashes at his counterpart to draw attention to his eyes.

I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finally

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RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving Glancing up at the sound of an all too familiar voice, Ronin glanced over his shoulder and smiled beneath the scarf wrapped about his neck and the lower half of his face. "Hey," he chirped brightly in response, straightening up with his shovel in hand and raising an eyebrow as Remi fluttered his eyelashes. "Did some of the snow fall in your... oh..." Frowning at first, as if he couldn't quite believe it, Ronin leant in a touch closer. Clear, sea-glass green stared out at him, as bright and colourful as he had always remembered. "Remi... did you...?" Had he been able to find a way to get his sight back? Properly? "Did you make something? Or... a healer...? You didn't make a deal with a god did you?"