From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Lovely.
Remi turned away, looking up at the ceiling for a moment as he tried to still the uneasy sea of nerves his stomach had become. "I suppose it all depends if you want them to be defensively prepared or offensively." He muttered unhappily. Given that none of them were supposed to be leaving Remi might have opted for the former. But it was Loren's domain and not his, and Remi didn't want to think about the ascended sinking their fangs into him any more than he had to.
"No, we are not sure." He replied a touch tersely, looking over his shoulder. "Given that they are meant to be created by the Voice it seems like a good theory since the rest of her creations do not have heart beats, but as I said, mimicry seems to be their specialty."
The alchemist shrugged slightly. That had been his plan, to have a handful of magical items left over, but despite the meeting he had called earlier in the season, despite his plans and preparations, it was all coming down to the wire as it normally did. "I will try, but I have other options as well."
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Remi’s unhappiness was tough to see, but Loren steeled himself against it. The other man’s jealousy was not exactly the Launceleyn’s fault: the alchemist had a loving husband and a family and a whole lot of friends, and if he was uncomfortable with the summoner feeling any sort of pleasure, well, that certainly didn’t feel like unconditional love. And it was entirely unfair to Loren to expect him to remain alone and single on the off chance it might upset the alchemist. They’d said this friendship might be painful, and they’d both have to learn to live with it. This was a part of that.
”I can’t exactly control what they do with it once they bite me.” The summoner could ask them, but it was ultimately down to the Ascended if they wanted healing or summoning. Besides, he was always of the opinion that the best defense was a good offense, though in this case he knew that he was almost certainly wrong.
Guess the tunnel was one more area that someone would have to keep an eye on. ”Well. Let’s hope they can’t, assume they can, and plan for the worst.” That hadn’t been his decision, but it was too late now. At the mention of what else the other man might have up his sleeve, the Launceleyn tilted his head. ”Other options?” He was curious, but if Remi didn’t want to reveal his secrets, Loren couldn’t force it.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
The Launceleyn gave a non-sort of answer, leaving the alchemist to merely shrug in agreement. "True. Perhaps they will summon a herd of bunnies. Or opt for telekinesis instead." Given that Remi didn't know what else the summoner was capable of, the ascended might be able to do all sorts of things.
"That is up to Wessex." Remi said, turning to regard the summoner and leaning against the counter wearily. He wasn't going to be at the Temple and had done what he could to help fortify it.
"Manticore, hawk, raccoon, lion." He said with a sigh, stretching his torso onto the counter and placing his head in his hands—unhygienic, and Loren would probably hate it, but Remi was exhausted. Exhausted from his reciprocated emotional outburst, exhausted from how everything with Loren seemed to be a fight or a contest. "My earth magic combined with other magics can be quite useful in hiding or creating difficult terrain...Telekinesis and ... whatever it is that lets me animate trees and the like might provide distractions...Ronin and I had talked about making an invisibility cloak, but I do not know if it will work against the monsters. "
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Loren’s sense of humor was practically non-existent these days—not that he’d ever really had one—so once again, the other man’s jokes didn’t get a laugh or even a smile. If the Ascended were dumb enough to squander the summoner’s magic, again, there wasn’t anything he could do about that. Indeed, Remi had made it quite clear how little control the Launceleyn had over any of this. That was especially true since Wessex was in charge, a fact that didn’t necessarily sit well with him. He didn’t want to rule. However, they’d butted heads enough times that he knew he couldn’t be comfortable with her judgment.
As the alchemist went on to lean on the counter (which garnered no reaction from the summoner) and then to list all the powers at his disposal, Loren sighed, but nodded. There was plenty there to protect the other man, even the Launceleyn could admit that much. ”Alright.” This time, instead of jealousy, he just felt the exhaustion that seemed to overtake Remi as well.
10-10-2019, 09:26 PM (This post was last modified: 10-10-2019, 09:26 PM by Remi.)
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Alright? Was this how it felt not to be constantly argued with? Exhaling a weary sigh into his forearms, the alchemist groaned to himself. "It would just have been nice to be asked." He said, as if in mid-thought, before glancing up to peer from behind his curls at the summoner. "Oh you will be out during LongNight? Is there anything I can do? Oh, you have a task from Ludo? Would you like me to take it on instead?" He grumbled softly. "I care you about, and Amalia, and Jigano and Kiada."
Resting his chin in his hands and fixing Loren with a bright but tired stare, Remi sighed. "You make it seem like we are just a burden. That I am some problem for you to manage and fix and if anything we all do is not up to your standards, it is up to you to fix it." Whatever timid soul the alchemist had once been, Caido had toughened him up in more than a few ways. And if he and Loren were actually going to be friends, the summoner would soon learn that this iteration of the alchemist did infact speak his mind as the librarian had once tried to coax him to.
"I think your heart is probably in the right place...but you are being more than a bit of a jerk about it." He concluded with a crooked frown. Remis' words weren't meant to be a critisism so much as a mirror. If Loren wanted to change, so be it. But he had a real habit of not seeing things clearly.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
As Remi spoke, Loren sank down to the ground and rested his chin on his knees. There was a lot he could’ve said. First, he didn’t know when he was supposed to ask: earlier in this conversation, when they’d been fighting, or before that, when they hadn’t been speaking, or before that, when they’d been fighting. There never seemed to be a good time for anything other than emotional turmoil between the two of them. He’d never intended to make anyone feel like a burden. However, he was so used to sacrificing himself in place of others and to not being heard unless he advocated for himself that he’d fallen into old, bad habits again. Maybe he even could've complained that they'd told him the only thing that had saved them last LongNight was the Spark Bird time and time again.
He didn't say any of that. ”I’m sorry. For being a jerk, and not asking, and for making you feel like a burden. You’re not.” His voice was tired, but contrite for once. Taking a deep breath, the summoner pulled his knees in as tight as they could go. ”Is there anything I can do?” Better late than never, even if his hands were white-knuckled with the tension creeping over him as they held each other. Maybe he had a savior complex, maybe he needed to be a martyr. He wouldn’t deny that. But he didn’t have it in him to stand idly by either. And that’s what it felt like the alchemist was asking the summoner to do.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Well, if Loren was going to keep bottling things up there was nothing the alchemist could do about it.
Watching the summoner curl inwards, Remi was reminded of Sam. The Launceleyn didn't display the other self-harm tendencies the bookmaker did, but especially now with as thin as he was, the similarities in how the two processed their emotions was almost painful.
"Lots of things." Remi chirped brightly. "Figure out what you are going to tell Wessex, figure out what you are going to tell Ronin...and I suppose figure out a plan for Bea and Jace in case things go sideways." It might have been blunt, but if Loren hadn't already thought of it, Remi was certainly going to make sure the Launceleyn knew just how high the stakes were.
"I....can show you, what it was like. If you want." Remi said, biting the inside of his cheek. Whomever Loren had been getting his information from obviously hadn't given him the full picture. "The illusion magic. I am not sure how it works really, but I could try."
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
As Remi actually answered the summoner’s question—though certainly not in the way he’d been expecting or hoping—he sighed, the motion traveling through his whole body given how he was curled in on himself. Frankly, he had no idea what he was going to tell Wessex, or if he’d even have time to see the queen, or if he was definitely going to be at the Guild. He wanted to be there, but that might’ve just been him being selfish and prideful and stupid.
However, at the mention of the king, Loren’s eyes found the alchemist’s. ”I’m assuming Ronin wants nothing to do with me, given everything, and given that I’ve seen or heard nothing of him since he attacked me. However, my assumptions about him have obviously been wrong before. Still, I have no idea what to say to him, or Wessex. Do you?” It was hard not to assume Ronin straight up hated the Launceleyn given that the king hadn’t even bothered to send a note, and had been cured enough for a while now to do at least that. Even if the note had been spelling out that the demigod wanted Loren far aware from Ronin’s family, that would’ve been better than the deafening silence the summoner had received. ”Beatrix and Jace have made it very clear that they don’t need me or even really want me around, but I’ll find someone to take them in if I die.” Maybe Phoebe, given how desperate she was for children. It would be a sick and twisted way for Loren to apologize. But he was both sick and twisted, so no one would be surprised by that.
As the other man offered to show the Launceleyn the monsters, his eyes shot up. They widened for a brief moment, before he bit his lip, harder than he usually did, though he barely noticed. ”I would appreciate that. But…if it’s too traumatic…” He trailed off, because it was Remi’s choice, and the alchemist probably wouldn’t have offered if he wasn’t willing.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Meeting Loren's gaze, Remi blinked once, twice, before nodding. "I told him everything that happened, as you know. He was...hurt, understandably. But what happened was more about me, than you. He knows that." The alchemist said softly, contritely. However as the summoner continued, Remi pulled in a breath and considered. They'd promised honesty and Remi for his part, had promised his feelings would not get in the way. "I know you two were close before. Very close." The look on his face suggested he knew it was more than just sexually; importantly it was more than that. "But more has changed for him, than it has for me. No, you might not have heard anything from him...but you do not rank high in his world anymore. You might one day, but as it is...the fact that you have not heard from him...it does not mean much." No doubt the words would hurt Loren, and the alchemist's apologetic tone suggested as much, but Remi felt it needed to be said. Loren had vanished, and in that time Ronin had found love not once, but twice. Had died. Had lost his wife and found a husband. Had raised a daughter, a guild, and become a king. Loren had returned with wine as if to rekindle memories that once were, while Ronin was blighted. And the summoner had offered little else but weak apologies and misplaced laughter.
"I think...Ronin does not want to hear of the past. Of tree illnesses or your adventures." Remi said with hesitant smile. "I...would not dwell there, but nor would I pretend things are fine. Treat him like...someone new, but not a stranger. It is what he is, after all." As for Wessex? "Things happen all the time. Perhaps you will find yourself deliver a last minute supply run when the sun finally sets...leaving you stranded on our end?"
Giving the summoner a hard stare at the mention of Beatrix and Jace, the alchemist having had just about all he could take of Loren's constant wallowing, he said nothing.
Running a hand across his eyes, Remi nodded. Pushing himself up from the counter to move closer, of only because his illusions did not stretch far, he remained standing as he looked down at Loren. "I will start with...the knocking." He said with a nod, waiting for the other man to indicate he was ready.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
It was about what Loren had expected: Ronin, if he had a choice, probably wouldn’t want the Launceleyn in his life anymore. Which meant it was up to him to decide if he wanted to be a part of the king’s life, and up to the summoner to do all the work. And Loren wasn’t particularly skilled at making friends. ”I apologized for...some of that. When he had a brief moment of clarity.” But since then, nothing, and again, while the Launceleyn could understand why, that didn’t mean he was going to be able to salvage anything, even a working relationship with Ronin. Maybe that was for the best. ”I can try.” It would take two of them, and it sounded like neither of them were prepared or willing.
At Remi’s suggestion for Wessex, the summoner gave the alchemist a confused and concerned look. ”So you want me to lie. And leave her and everyone else in the Temple unprepared to deal with my absence.” As much as the Launceleyn thought he might do more good at the Guild, he didn’t want to endanger everyone at the Temple either. And he was frankly shocked that the other man would just suggest it. However, when Remi glared at Loren—or whatever that expression was—the Launceleyn just stared back blankly. ”What?” Whatever was bothering the alchemist was beyond the summoner’s ability to comprehend at that particular moment.
As the other man came closer, Loren waited for the illusion to start. And waited. It took him a moment to realize that the alchemist was waiting for permission or something. As soon as that occurred to the Launceleyn, he nodded, not really wanting to interrupt Remi in the midst of the memory for fear the summoner would miss something.
10-11-2019, 01:52 AM (This post was last modified: 10-11-2019, 02:04 AM by Remi.)
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Remi shrugged easily. "His moments of clarity...were not always well-remembered." Pain etched into the alchemist's features then and for a moment he looked away. Ronin had almost killed him, had said he didn't want them to be together and that the alchemist was better without. The times they were together were lost in a jumble of blood and pain. "And he did say many things he did not mean." Remi added after a moment, having had this very conversation with Amalia. Giving Loren a look, Remi thought he might just keep his suspicions on this matter to himself for now. If Loren thought he'd be able to brow-beat the king into putting effort into a friendship that had ended so poorly...the Launceleyn would find himself woefully mistaken. Ronin wasn't Remi after all, in so very many ways. If Loren wanted this friendship, it was all on him.
"Is that what I said?" Remi asked pointedly, sick of his words twisted. "I did mention to prepare the temple. To have everything ready. If it is the truth that you were caught during a delivery run, so be it. Although.." Crossing his arms and raising a brow, he added, "..Since you were not planning on telling her the whole truth anyways, spare me the moral high ground when it comes to lying.
"Nothing, Loren. Far be it for me to tell you anything about how you should conduct yourself." Remi retorted with a weary sigh.
Closing his eyes, the alchemist summoned the memories. Before the pair of them in the space between, the air shimmered and then echoed back what flit behind the alchemist's eyes...
...the sounds of the Rathskeller chimed brightly around as did the smells, the hustle and bustle. It was only the first night, and none were afraid. Sam's arms were around Remi and the order that all should be quiet was for the most part ignored.
And then there came a knock. A frantic voice, begging to be let in. They were so sorry they were late, caught outside. Please, please! There were voices...monsters! Couldn't they just— No one knew what to do, save for a voice Remi knew, and that Loren would as well. Celosia Ayelet. The duchess. She had gone for the door, unlocked the bolt, and pulled open the door. Skeletal black hands. Shadows with pulses. They grabbed and ensnared, pulling the duchess into the night. The door slammed shut of its own accord. A horrific shredding sound. Screams. Blood pooling under the door.
An hour later, maybe. It was hard to know. The same scene but far more sober and somber. Another knock. A voice, a man this time. Young, afraid. He'd gotten lost, he wasn't from this world, you see, and please, please!. Couldn't they hear them coming? Couldn't they open the door? Remi had gone, but Sam had begged him back. Edy demanded they all stay. The man's voice was the one Remi had attacked as a lion that first night, and though he'd been stopped by Ronin on that occasion, there was no one around to save poor Zero during LongNight. His screams were cut short almost instantly, but it was the silence after and the long and low laughter that was the worst part.
It went on and on like this. Remi with Isla in the infirmary, the medic and alchemist both, staring as the luxere outside were chased away and windows were shattered and skeletal hands reached through. Isla's corpse in the snow...still warm. Still so beautiful.
A man with a proposal letter in his pocket and a ring for Kiada, braving the darkness to confess his love. And he'd died with his heart in his throat, thinking only of the vulture.
Images of Rory in a hospital bed, scarred from Edy's flames. Flames controlled by the monsters.
Amalia, dead.
Emmett, a mess of internal organs.
Another knock. Ronin's voice. Sam screaming and clawing at Remi to stay where he was, and the alchemist throwing open the bolt anyways. The king covered in blood, Aoife in his arms and starlight trailing in his wake. A darkness so black not even the monsters would touch him. Vanya's lifeblood drying on his collar.
It wasn't there there wasn't more, but the tears were streaming too steadily down Remi's cheeks at the memories, his eyes clenched shut as he trembled against he wave of remembrance.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Seeing as Remi had impressed upon Loren how very different Ronin had become—and in the few times they’d interacted, the Launceleyn had surmised as such—the summoner figured he should just do as the alchemist advised. Try to find some way for the king and Loren to have a fresh start. There were so many of those being offered that the Launceleyn was almost tired of thinking about it, but even he knew he couldn’t afford to pass them up. So he just nodded at Remi’s words about his husband. Assuming they both survived LongNight—which they probably wouldn’t, if Loren’s fears came true—maybe they could find a way forward.
As for the alchemist, it seemed that the Launceleyn had made another misstep. ”No. I’m sorry.” He could’ve argued that a lie of omission was still a lie, but the other man’s voice had cowed the summoner into silence. Still, it didn’t sit well with him that they might leave Wessex in the lurch like that, alone with no one to rely upon. Not that she was inclined to rely upon him.
However, he couldn’t break Remi’s trust and Loren didn’t see the queen agreeing to a change in plans this late in the process. This wasn’t the first time he’d been between a rock and a hard place and he knew he'd make a call he felt comfortable with in the end. And then the alchemist spoke harshly, again. Loren closed his eyes against it. ”Please just tell me. I’m too tired to think straight, let alone fight.” If something he’d said had bothered Remi, the Launceleyn would rather just know, rather than try to interpret this latest set of comments.
Unfortunately, he had to open them for the illusion magic. Memories flickered over them, scenes of horror and carnage. It was awful, more awful than anything he’d seen or experienced, and he’d been through a lot. Too much. For both of them, though obviously the other man had it far worse. The summoner surged to his feet when they finished, and reached out to pull Remi into a hug. There’d been no image of them fighting the monsters, but Loren wouldn’t ask for that, not after what he’d seen.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
They. Oh no. They weren't leaving Wessex in any sort of lurch. Loren was. Whether it was because he truly cared or he couldn't possibly let anyone else take risks without his say-so or opportunity for martyrdom, Remi really didn't know. What he did though, was that those in the guildhall had separate themselves early and intentionally. It was Loren who had vowed to stay, and though no one had asked him to, it was Loren who was planning to break that promise. That was on him, and no one else.
Sighing, Remi merely shook his head. "Fine." He said rubbing this thumb between his eye brows. "You say how much you care, how much all of this means to you, and then so flippantly make remarks about your death and what that will mean for Beatrix and Jace." Folding his arms across his chest then, Remi just gave the summoner a look. "If you want to be taken at your word, fine. You sound like a heartless asshole who cares as little for us as you do yourself. But I know that is not what you mean, or what you feel. But for how clever you are, I do not for the life of me know why you seem to do everything in your power to say the opposite of what you mean to."
Remi almost didn't realize that Loren's arms had come around him, until the warmth slowly trickled in from the summoner's thin frame and the memory eventually bled away. Crying freely and gasping against the Launceleyn's shoulder, Remi returned the embrace tightly as he clenched his eyes and his jaw shut, thinking of all those who had died because of wrong decisions.
Exhaling a shuddery breath against Loren, Remi pulled in a quick sip of air through his nose. "You are like hugging a damn skeleton, you know that." He said weakly, trying and failing to fully fill his lungs.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Well, Loren had asked for Remi’s opinion, and the Launceleyn was trying to be less abrasive and hypocritical. So getting mad now would be entirely counterproductive. Of course, the alchemist didn’t know that Beatrix and Jace had literally run away from home because they’d been so mistrustful of the summoner, and that had not changed much since he’d convinced them to return. Indeed, he’d maybe seen his half-sister once since then—and she’d hardly been happy to see him—and his nephew not at all. So Loren knew they’d be fine if he died. Sad, for a bit, but resilient enough to get through it. However, expressing that to Remi seemed inadvisable.
For a long moment, the Launceleyn was silent in the face of the alchemist’s latest set of critiques. He didn’t really know how to respond. Staying quiet was not an option though, so he just leaned his head back until he was staring at the ceiling instead of at the other man. ”I’m sorry. I don’t know either. I...wasn’t trying to be flippant and heartless. Of course I care. I care more about others than myself, probably to a dangerous degree. I just...I have trouble imagining that I make much of an impact or impression on people. At least usually.” Because for most of his life, he hadn’t.
The summoner spoke in a careful whisper, afraid of setting off Remi again. ”I don’t...I’ve never been good at talking about how I feel. Or even acknowledging it properly. So...I don’t know.” Loren shrugged helplessly. But it had started with the stutter, and then progressed to the masks he constantly put on and discarded. He'd never denied being a shitty communicator. ”I try to let my actions speak instead.” Except he’d been fucking those up to, at least lately. Or maybe always. He wasn’t like the other man, easy with affection and wearing his heart on his sleeve. Indeed, the Launceleyn didn’t feel that he was equipped to ever express himself properly. That didn’t mean he was looking for sympathy or making excuses, just trying one last time to explain before it was too late.
As the alchemist collapsed against him, the summoner just held Remi as tightly as Loren dared. The tears were unsurprising. Neither was the joke: at this point he was almost expecting humor as a weird response from the other man to all sorts of uncomfortable situations. ”I know.” The Launceleyn’s voice came out easily, and skeleton or no, he stood there. And he would stand there for as long as the other man needed and allowed.
