The pit | I fell in the pit

At Vai's rejection of what his mother would or wouldn't do, the alchemist could only shrug without much conviction. Remi had never been a selfish man, and yet with the close relationships he'd built with two men in particular, would he be so selfish as to wish death for them, if it meant they could be together always? His mind wanted to say no, but something dark and twisted in his heart–a tear caused by the lion perhaps–thought that he just might. The mention of the shrine caught Remi's attention, and now he did look up. He hadn't known when or how or why the lion had come, but now that Vai was putting it into that language specifically, actually it made quite a bit of sense. Had Frey done this? Swallowing hard, he recalled how Cel had been left without her clothes, Phoebe had been all but traumatized and Remi? Well, nothing bad had happened to him really. Or so he thought. "Do you think ... is that where the lion came from, do you think?" Inwardly the lion snarled. It didn't much care to have its presence questioned. Sighing, Remi shook his head. "I hurt the young man who came to my house that night. And I hurt Ronin. It is why I'm down here." So saying, the lion roared to the forefront and bared its teeth at the huntress. The look was actually quite comical: the alchemist sitting with his knees to his bare chest looking weak and pale, then suddenly the head of a snarling predator roaring from his shoulders. Raising his hands which were quickly turning to paws, Remi raked them against his skull and moaned with pain and effort as he struggled to regain control over himself. After a few tense moments, the lion faded away leaving Remi looking even more drained than he had. Gasping for breath, he leaned back against the mud wall once again until his heart stopped hammering quite so quickly. "It isn't like being a hawk." He managed after a moment, although that much was likely clear already. "I do not know how to control it...and I do not want to hurt anyone else." Sadly Remi looked up at Vai, wanting a solution but seeing none. The rounded walls of the pit would likely be his view for the foreseeable future. remi roar

"I don't know," Vai said truthfully, "but it definitely doesn't sound impossible, Remi. A lot of strange things have happened since we all came here. This is just the latest in a long line of horrible." She sighed, scooting towards the edge of the pit without being so careless as to dangle any appendages invitingly over the side. Vai shook her head. "That's not why you're down here," she said. "Your friends just didn't know how to help you. You're right - a lion is not like a hawk. Try picking a lion up and taking it to the infirmary in your arms." At that she managed the faintest of smiles. Then the beast roared forth again and Vai frowned. "Then you need to control it, Remi. If you don't want to hurt anyone, you need to learn to make it part of you, the same as being a hawk. I don't... I've never been a shapechanger. But I married two." She shrugged. "It's you. The hawk in you can be cold and vicious and predatory too, but you're still Remi." No solution wasn't good enough for Vai. Thinking, hard, she nodded at him suddenly. "Maybe you could try and shift," she said. "Into a lion, on purpose. And then back again. You decide, don't let it get a chance to." vervain where the wild things are

"They didn't know how to help because I was too busy trying to eviscerate them." Remi added miserably with a shrug. He didn't blame Ronin at all for tossing him down here; it was the best move honestly. Remi didn't blame anyone but himself. "The infirmary?" He repeated, shooting Vervain a quizzical stare. "I do not think this is anything a healer could help with." Isla was talented yes, but as far as Remi knew shape changing was not something that could be cured. Two? Remi wondered, tucking away that bit of information for later. Now was clearly not the time to take a detour into Vai's marital history, but he'd never really considered her life prior to Devrum. Did that mean the bear wasn't Ashe's father? She had called him Papa Bear so often Remi had just assumed... However this line of thinking was cut short as the huntress mentioned that he should intentionally try to shift. The idea filled him with a cold sense of dread. It had already been hard enough to wrestle the creature back when he was only partially shifted. But to give full control and then try and continue to maintain himself inside of the beast? "I do not know if I have the mental strength for that just now.." Remi admitted easily, honesty always coming so naturally to him. "Perhaps though..." An idea seemed to dawn on him as his face lit up slightly. 'You don't happen to have another rabbit do you? Or other scrap of meat? It might be too difficult just now to change and change back ... but perhaps I could simply work on not letting it come forward. I think raw meat would draw it out, and I could practice safely here?" remi roar

Vervain tilted her head quizzically to Remi, as if wondering what exactly he meant. "Have you looked at yourself?" she asked softly, referring to the way he had been slicing himself to shreds only moments before. Isla and the infirmary couldn't fix shapechanging, sure, but they could definitely clean up a nasty cut. A worried frown flickered across her face as she gazed down at the hawk - his honesty was as disarming as it was endearing, and she nodded to him silently. If he didn't feel like he had the strength for it, then it simply wouldn't happen. But as he gazed up at her with as close to an expression of hope as she could recognise, she thought for a moment and nodded. "I caught these first, but they weren't really enough." There was a little rustling from the edge of the pit, but soon Vai had taken the small voles she'd snagged, dropping them down to Remi so he could try and put the lion to bed. vervain where the wild things are

Oh. Remi hadn't been even a little bit worried about his physical state. He'd thought only of Ronin and Zero and whomever else he might have interacted with. Looking down he took a quick stock of his injuries: claw marks on his back and legs, deep scrapes across his knees, and several bite marks on his lips. He must look nearly as horrifying as the lion did, covered in blood and mud as he was. "I will survive." Remi acknowledged softly. He might have said "I will live" but just now it didn't feel that way at all. As soon as the bodies dropped from her hand, Remi could feel the beast stir. His stomach muscles clenched as he visibly rocked forward in an effort to keep himself where he was, contrary as that might sound. His fingers flexed to paws that gripped tightly around his biceps where Remi was forcibly holding them fixed. Shutting his eyes (not that it helped), Remi could feel the lion scenting the voles as their scent wafted towards him. Digging his feet into the mud, Remi shoved his aching back against the circumference of the pit and moaned forcefully as he grit his teeth together as if the flat edges might prevent fangs from growing. Inside he could feel the steady pulsing of the beast's mind, its hunger and thirst for blood. The metallic aroma suddenly filled his senses as the lion remembered the taste of his mother. The voles would be nothing like that, but they would crunch and break and slurp just as the rabbits had. Momentarily Remi could feel his own mouth begin to water, before he spat into the dirt and lowered his head, summoning all of his will to fight this off. "Nn-n--nn" He groaned, m rocking back and forth as the claws on his hands continued to dig into his arms. His toes curled in his shoes as his entire body fidgeted and his mind flailed wildly. Self-control had once been something Remi was so good at. And then he'd given in, and now it seemed all that work might have been for naught. [say"V-v--vaaaai" He moaned miserably as his curls grew out and became tawny. Tears sprang from his clenched lashes as the beast inside waged against the alchemist's failing barriers. remi roar

Survive? She was sure he would, but that didn't make her any less concerned. Fortunately, that concern was quickly redirected to the fresh meat she'd dropped into the pit with Remi, and the huntress shifted to her knees in the mud so that she could better check on what was happening. Only when Remi's back hit the wall of the pit did she realise that she had been holding her breath, and she let it out shakily as she leaned in to watch him. "Remi..." She scowled, feeling something twist painfully within her chest as he called up to her. Blinking quickly, Vai glanced over her shoulder as if to check for anyone around, paused perhaps for a fraction of a second, then carefully vaulted into the pit. The mud under her feet was perilously slippery, churned up by paws and claws and feet and rain. It didn't slow her down for long, though, and she was with Remi in moments. "You can do this," she told him, her arms locking around him as much in an embrace as a restraint. "I got you, okay? And that goes for the lion in you too, as well as the feather ball." vervain where the wild things are

He both had and hadn't wanted her to be with him. Her strength and presence alone would bolster his resolve, he knew that. But should he fail in his efforts, he'd have put her into unprecedented danger. Even with her bow and her new healing abilities, at this close proximity and with nowhere to run he was sure that she would be putty beneath his claws. The feeling of her at his side made his eyes flare open as his lips parted gasping for air. One hand, still clawed overlapped hers, but as his skin touched hers the claws retracted and it was only Remi's well-muscled hands clenching against her. Leaning into her, head buried against her as he so often had in the past, Remi gripped onto Vervain just as much as she held onto him. Breathing ragged, he tried to focus on the sound of her voice and her presence, rather than the Herculean efforts of the lion within screaming to get out. For a wonder, Vai's last comment made the alchemist laugh. As he did so, his entire body relaxed. In his mind, the presence of the lion all but died away, and Remi was left free and seemingly alone with his thoughts. Releasing a long and heavy breath, Remi gently released his grip on Vai, but only so that he could slide it around her waist and pull her closer to him as he collapsed forward into the embrace. "You did it." He whispered against her, tears rushing down his face out of relief as much as exhaustion. remi roar

"Hey, that wasn't meant to be funny..." Vai smiled weakly as she heard him laugh, her heart beating hard in her chest, still. The feel of claws melting back into hands had been more relieving than anything else since seeing Remi in the pit, and she clasped him close against her as he slumped forward. "You did it," she corrected as he spoke, one hand smoothing through his matted curls. "I was just there to help if you needed me." Sinking to sit down in the mud (because why bother trying to get away from it - it was everywhere), she tilted her head to rest atop Remi's, still holding onto him securely. "We're going to fix you up, Remi. Okay? You're going to be okay." And she certainly wasn't talking about his physical wounds, Vai glancing up and out of the pit into the rain. "How the heck are we going to get you out of here, kid?" vervain where the wild things are

Nestled against her, Remi took a moment merely to be and to breathe. Fatigue didn't even come close to describing how he was feeling and despite the disgusting state of himself and his surroundings, he'd have happily slipped into sleep were it not for Vai at his side. Nodding uncertainly at her though not quite believing her words (he'd killed his mother after all, was there really any fixing of that?) Remi glanced up. "I can still fly." He said a bit cheekily, nudging against her and trying on a smile. "If I fly out, I'm sure I could find some rope to toss down to you?" Unsteadily, Remi got to his feet. Shaking out Vai's jacket, he held it out the huntress and stretched his arms slightly. His entire body was stiff, but he very much doubted if it would hold a candle to how bad he would feel in the morning. Closing his eyes, Remi shifted with a decided lack of his usual grace into a hawk. Mud coated his feathers and it was clear that getting airborne was a strain. Still, tired as he was, he'd not let Vai suffer down in the pit where he'd remained for so many days. As soon as he reached the surface he all but collapsed back into his regular body. Wearily and with laboured breathing now, Remi easily found a rope and tossed it down into the pit. "I'm just going to anchor myself back here, or I'll be right back down there with you. When I say, start to climb and I'll pull." Instructions clear, Remi backed up to where the earth was a bit more solid and then called out for Vai to ready herself. Gritting his teeth and doubling down on his remaining energy, he began to pull. remi roar

"I know you can fly, Remi. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you should." Vai smiled softly as he nudged her, though she couldn't very well stop him as he wobbled to his feet. Instead she simply enjoyed the alchemist seeming so... well, himself, nodding and accepting her coat back so she could shrug into it against the rain. "Be careful," she told him, eyes wary as she tracked his progress as a hawk out of the pit. Hearing his voice again was a relief, Vai worried that he'd either find himself in a lion's body again or he'd pass out - both of which she couldn't help with from there. "Alright!" she called back to him, the huntress trying to find a bit of drier mud to get a grip on with her boots. It wouldn't do much, but every little helped. When the alchemist called out she wasted no time, rope in hand as she began to scale the side of the pit. It was a slog and slippery as hell, but she clawed at the edge of the muddy trench and hauled herself out with a colourful expletive soon enough. "Okay," she said. "Now let's get clean and dry, yeah?" vervain where the wild things are

Reaching out to grab Vai's arms as soon as she had purchase on the ground again, Remi helped her to her fight. Shakily, but indeed seeming more like himself, the alchemist sighed wearily. "You wouldn't be able to do something about this, would you?" Remi said pointing to his nose. Through all of the mud and blood it was hard to see, but Ronin had actually broken it a few days prior. The bruising merely faded into the general colourfulness of his unkept appearance, but now that Remi didn't need to focus on not murdering anyone, it would be nice to breath again more easily. Clean and dry. It seemed so much more than he deserved given all that had transpired and all that he'd allowed to happen. Still, Remi knew he needed food and to get dry or his body really would rally against him and it wouldn't be the sort of fight that mere fortitude of his mind could overcome. remi roar

Remi's assistance was more than appreciated, and Vai smiled to him gratefully as she clambered to her feet. She gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze, feeling tired already and she'd only been out there for a fraction of the time Remi had been stuck in the pit. Not to mention the psychological torture he'd been trapped in, to boot. "Hm? About... oh, that looks nasty..." Vai frowned in concentration, carefully cupping his cheeks in her hands and cleaning away as much of the dirt and the blood as she could without hurting him further. "You got it, Remi," she murmured. She had no idea how her new magic worked, still, but she was getting a little more accustomed to tapping into that foreign vein of power, and soon enough a warmth suffused her hands and the bruising around his nose began to soothe away. Smiling once she was satisfied that his nose wasn't broken any longer (and that it hadn't healed crooked), she released him only to usher him away from the pit. "Come on," she said. "I still haven't set up my permanent home yet in the woods, so we can go back to the Domiciles. I suddenly feel like eating a good deal of vegetables." She nudged him playfully. vervain where the wild things are

As she cupped his face, Remi was immediately reminded of the first time that they'd met. That time too Vai had the task of cleaning up his face gingerly, and even now through the rain and the string of the pain, Remi smiled. Before she could begin, Remi raised his hands to gently place them over hers. With any one else the gesture might have been intimidate especially with how Remi leaned his face towards hers, but the look on his face and in his eyes was only of completely platonic love. "Thank you for everything Vai." He whispered as his eyes grew shiny with yet another layer of tears. The feeling of his bones mending was interesting, and Remi actually had to work quite hard not to crinkle his nose in reaction. Breathing through it and focusing on the warmth, in a matter of seconds Remi found that he could easily take a full breath, and that the pain around and below his eyes was gone. Running a hand over his newly fixed nose, Remi grinned. "Vegetables sound lovely. And some tea perhaps?" Holding out his arm for her to lace hers through, the alchemist sighed wearily. "Really, I do not know what I would have done if you hadn't come. Probably let the lion just take over really.." Leaning into Vai's presence at his sighed, Remi tipped his head towards her. remi roar

A soft smile tugged at her lips as she gazed up at Remi. His hands over hers were cold - unsurprising given his last few days - and she shook her head as he thanked her. "Enough of that," she said warmly. "If you want to thank me, you'll make sure you take good care of yourself, yeah? You scared me." Not because of what he had turned into or what he had claimed to have done, no. She was scared for him, and the longer she had stared down at him in that pit, the more reason she seemed to have for it. He offered his arm and she slipped hers through it, leading them away from the pit at last and back into the Sanctuary proper. Was part of her afraid that this could backfire and that the lion would resurface without warning? Yes and no. Ultimately, she cared more about Remi than the danger he might pose. "Tea sounds wonderful," she agreed, giving his arm a warm squeeze, her footsteps sure and quiet on the uneven pathways. "And you're stronger than you think, my boy." She winked at him. "You would have beaten it, I promise." vervain where the wild things are