From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
they tried to make you bleed with bullets and daggers
but your heart is made of steel
Loren’s apology is unexpected, but a welcome one. And while they didn’t exactly get a chance to talk at that instance, far too much preparing before darkness fully hit and the doors were locked and guarded, she figures that now once things have calmed down she could seek the Launceleyn out. To formally accept his apology – an easy enough idea for her. She typically isn’t one to harbor any frustration toward others, unless they’ve directly affected her. Like Zariah.
But things like what happened between Loren and her? She can forgive that. It’s easy, a simple forgiveness from a forgiving person. That’s definitely one of her faults, but she out of everyone believes in second or third chances, however many it might take. So she scopes out, searching for Loren in the dark candle lit halls of the Temple, the edges of a smile crossing her face when she finally spots the man. “Loren, got time to chat?”
After getting everyone and everything settled—or as settled as he could, given the circumstances—Loren had found a corner where he could watch the front door and the main room without being disturbed. He probably should’ve gone around and offered what reassurances he could. Unfortunately, given how much doubt he felt these days, he figured his efforts would do more harm than good. Instead, he sat, back against a wall, and just did his best to keep a watchful eye on everything. It still felt like too little given what they were facing.
Unsurprisingly, Rexanna approached him before too long. He’d been expecting her after his apology; nodding at her in acknowledgement, he rose to his feet. ”Of course.” Obviously, he didn’t return her smile. Even if he’d been in a happier mood—which he wasn’t—after everything he’d said, he felt that it would’ve been wrong. Just because she had forgiven him didn’t mean he’d forgiven himself.
Instead, he just rubbed his palms against his thighs, trying to hide the weariness that had settled into his bones. It was probably a futile effort. He’d managed to regain a little bit of the weight that he’d lost again. However, he still looked thin and hollow, beaten down by the season. ”Sorry about Beatrix.” Somehow, his half-sister had found a way to make this whole encounter even more uncomfortable, though he figured the blue-eyed woman wouldn’t care in the slightest.
they tried to make you bleed with bullets and daggers
but your heart is made of steel
He agrees to chatting, rising to his feet while Rexanna slides a chair over. “We can sit. You look tired.” She says after a moment, waiting to see if he takes her up on that offer. But then he apologizes about Beatrix, much to Rexanna’s quiet amusement. Shrugging her shoulders she sits on the chair and crosses one leg over the other. “It’s okay. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know who I am.” She offers easily with a hint of a smile crossing her face again.
But ah, for the reason they’re there and she’s asked him to chat. She leans forward slightly to let her gaze linger on him, seeing the weight he’s put back on, and she quells the worry within her with it. “I wanted to tell you that I accept your apology. And I’m sorry about some of the things I said too.” Her head tilts as she looks to him, waiting to see his reaction.
At this point, Loren was too exhausted to even put up a token resistance as Rexanna brought a chair over. Instead, he just slid back down to the ground, legs crossed, fingers drumming a nervous beat on his knee. ”Alright, thanks.” Belatedly, he realized that she might’ve meant to have him sit in the chair. Well, there was only one chair, and she was welcome to it; as far as he was concerned, the ground was more than fine. He’d had to sleep on far more uncomfortable surfaces, so sitting was no problem.
”She doesn’t. Though I wouldn’t put it past her to try and find out. She’s...precocious.” Indeed, Beatrix was far too mature for her age, and it caused the summoner no end of trouble. Still, Rexanna probably didn’t want to hear any more Launceleyn family drama, even if it was Loren’s specialty.
As the blue-eyed woman accepted his apology, he smiled briefly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. However, even that brief glimpse of happiness slipped away when she said she was sorry. ”Don’t be. You have nothing to apologize for, and you didn’t say anything I haven’t told myself a million times before. And I’m usually much meaner.” That shouldn’t be too surprising for her to hear, considering how he’d unloaded on her when she was just trying to be a good friend.
they tried to make you bleed with bullets and daggers
but your heart is made of steel
She nods to him with a somewhat crooked smile, watching him slink back to the floor. At the mention of Beatrix again, she can’t help but to him a quiet laugh of agreement. “Which I’m sure you know will either get better or worse as she gets older.” She comments easily, a tilt to her head as she shrugs. “I wish you luck.” A wink is sent his way before they’re talking about more serious matters, and he takes her acceptance of his apology well.
And then tells her she had nothing to apologize for, to which she shrugs once more. “Well I’m glad I got the nice mean Loren.” A chimed laugh accompanies her words before she splays her hands along her knee and fiddles with her wedding ring. “But I would still like to be your friend, too.” She offers, gaze lifting. He had mentioned he wanted to try it, and she has no qualms with the attempt. Could be pleasantly surprised, like when Rexanna had sworn off relationships until Bastien came along — only under the condition that they both weren’t very good at it but would like to try.
As Rexanna talked about what Beatrix would be like when Loren’s half-sister got older, his eyes got distant and haunted. As much as he would like to be there for her, he wasn’t sure he’d get the opportunity. That was both because of what might happen during LongNight and because of what was supposedly coming after if he somehow survived. ”I hope I’m around to see it. But I don’t know that luck is what I’ll need when Zariah returns.” Fortitude, strength, the ability to do what needed to be done, even when it was standing against his own family, maybe. But luck was never on his side. And he wasn't going to count on it, or any help really.
When the blue-eyed woman described his actions during their last encounter as ‘the nice mean Loren’ he couldn’t help but snort. ”At least I didn’t summon a dragon to roar at you.” That had probably been a bit too much, what he’d done to Phoebe. Still, the healer had weirdly seemed to either have forgiven him or forgotten about it.
Then Rexanna offered to be his friend again. The Launceleyn’s head lifted to meet her gaze, his own blue eyes haunted and distant. ”I’d like that to. But I’m shit at relationships of all kinds.” Family, romantic, friendship, it didn’t matter: Loren had ruined them all in his life. Still, the blue-eyed woman had been warned about it, and had seen what he might become. If she was willing to give this a shot after all that, he would as well.
they tried to make you bleed with bullets and daggers
but your heart is made of steel
His first comment is ominous, and she supposed that it’s an entire ordeal of deciding whether he’ll remain around or perish because Caido was certainly a dangerous place to be. But he mentions Zariah and she gives him a slightly apologetic smile. “I’ll have your back.” She tells him with certainty. If he needed help standing up against the ex-Queen, she’ll be there.
But he mentions summoning a dragon and her eyes widen a small amount before her lips quirk up. “I suppose that’s fair.” Their argument had mostly been barbed, sharpened words. No magic of any kind. “I got an upgrade recently that I think effects Abandoned magic. I have yet to test it though.” It’s a considering thought, but had he tried anything thst night she likely would have attempted it — if for nothing else but to not get burned alive by whatever fiery creature he decided to summon.
Soon, he admits that he’d like to be friends too, and she abandons the chair she’s brought over to sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder, legs stretched out before her and hands in her lap. “I wasn’t either when I started.” She tells him. “I swore off relationships, wanting to just… fuck around a bit I guess. I think it was hard for Alistair, but he disappeared soon after I admitted it.” She shrugs her shoulders, looking over to him. “And then I met Bastien and became his friend and then a little bit more over time.”
Rexanna offer to have his back against Zariah caused Loren to smile briefly. There was a sad edge to it, though. ”I appreciate it. But...I wonder if...maybe she’d react better to an appeal from her family.” It wasn’t much—and he didn’t even necessarily believe it was true, not if his cousin really had grown into a tyrant as everyone claimed—but after everything Zariah had done, the summoner wanted to minimize the harm she could do to others. He’d already suffered so much at the hands of his kin that a little bit more would just be a drop in the ocean. Besides, he’d heal.
Thankfully, the blue-eyed woman didn’t follow up on his dragon comment. However, when she brought up her upgrade, he glanced at her, surprise writ large on his features. ”That’s useful. What does it do, exactly? And does it affect your own magic?” Given that she’d just said she hadn’t tested it, it was entirely possible she didn’t know. ”Probably best not to test it when we might need all the magic we have.” Indeed, LongNight was not the best time for experimentation.
As she climbed down to sit next to him, his smile returned for a fleeting moment; as their shoulders touched, he nudged her, glad for some adult company. Beatrix and Jace were great, but they were also a handful. ”How was fucking around? And...I don’t think I know Alistair? And uhhhhh sorry, if those are too personal.” Maybe those were too intimate questions to ask—especially the first, though the Launceleyn knew a little bit about disappearing on loved ones—but fucking around had been recommended to the summoner by Frey, so he may as well find out what he could about it. ”I’m glad you two became more than friends.” Rexanna and Bastien’s relationship had been just about the only bright spot in the Hollowed Grounds recently.
they tried to make you bleed with bullets and daggers
but your heart is made of steel
“Does could have been family count?” She jests to Loren, but she understands. A family intervention of sorts, to show Zariah the error of her ways. A new world, a new life, a new start that didn’t need to be a repeat of previous worlds with people that knew who you were. It was like that for Rexanna, when she came to Caido. And she had intended on changing her own ways. She likes to think that she has.
She shrugs at his question of her magic, a smile crossing her face. “I don’t know.” It probably would though, she couldn’t be that lucky after all. But he mentions its likely not a good idea to do it now and she nods in agreement. It had been a slight Segway into her next comment. “Want to test it after? Maybe the whole Ascended speed at night too?” Recalling an earlier conversation on the bone bridge.
But she moves to sit beside him and he nudges her slightly, a dark brow raised to him with amusement at his follow up questions. “Wasn’t bad. I did a lot of that trying to escape Halyven actually. It was… a coping mechanism of sorts for me when I got anxious.” She shrugs — likely seen full well in her and Remi’s first encounter with Frey. But that was beside the point. “It’s different here. I didn’t feel as anxious most of the time so I got to enjoy it. Slept with Alistair a bit, attended my first orgy.” She whispers the last part, leaning into him slightly with a hum of laughter. It all in all had been a good time.
“I’m glad too. But it was a rollercoaster.” She winks to him. Jail cell confessions, orgies, Greatwood adventures.
Rexanna’s gentle offer drew another smile from Loren. This one lasted a little longer. ”Probably not. I think you gave up that right when you broke out through the upstairs bathroom, ran away, and became a super hybrid.” His voice came out gently, hopefully letting her know that he appreciated her support. Also, he realized that he’d never gotten around to fixing that window. Maybe it was for the best, a reminder of what his family did now that his scars were gone. Even if it did let in drafts.
When she brought up after, however, all vestiges of his smile slipped away. While he wanted to say of course, he was done making promises he didn’t know if he could keep, for one reason or another. ”I we can.” He tried to keep the weariness, fear, and doubt from creeping into his voice, but he wasn’t sure how successful he was. Probably not very: while he knew it would be best to remain hopeful and confident, after seeing what the monsters could do and being torn down by Remi, the Launceleyn didn’t have much positive energy left in him.
Sex as a coping mechanism was basically what Frey had recommended. ”Did it help?” Somehow, although it had felt good when the god had led Loren through the best orgasm of his life, he doubted it would really cure all his worries. ”Orgy, huh? In the Hollowed Grounds?” That’s what it sounded like. Obviously he was curious to know who and where, but he wasn’t quite brave enough to ask that just yet.
Plus, it was quickly becoming apparent how much more experienced the blue-eyed woman was than the blue-eyed man. ”Glad it was all enjoyable though.” When she brought up her relationship with Bastien, however, the summoner gave her a confused look. ”A rollercoaster? What does that mean?”
they tried to make you bleed with bullets and daggers
but your heart is made of steel
She snickers with a light amount of amusement at his comment about the bathroom, finding the light in the darkness of those days. “I suppose I did.” She agrees woefully, but the offer is there. Should he ever need her against Zariah or anyone else, she’d have his back. One little argument couldn’t stop that, not for her. But at the little comment of ‘super hybrid’ it does draw a bright smile from her as though she’s announcing she’s guilty of it with absolutely zero complaints.
What was there to complain about right now anyway?
Still, she nods to him when he agrees — tentative because of Longnight and what might happen. And she agrees to an extent, choosing to remain positive, because it was all she could do anymore. To focus on the negatives only made her feel worse, and she needed to be the best she could be. At the mention of if it helped her cope, she glances sidelong to him with a slight smirk. “I’m here aren’t I?” As if it was good enough reason.
“Oh, right here in the Hollowed Grounds. Bastien was there, Lily as well, some woman I didn’t catch the name of, Edrei, and Lucas.” Though her heart pangs at the mention of the deceased, she shrugs with a light smile. “That’s where that magic room is.” She adds with a jest, nudging him slightly. “It was great, really. Out of my comfort zone but I enjoyed it.” But then he grows confused on what a rollercoaster is and she turns to face him a bit more fully.
“They were these little rides the festival people would bring around back in Halyven. Little carts on a track that would go up and down.” She explains, recalling the wooden structures and carts, and how the children loved the feeling of adrenaline.
Her laughter and her comment garnered a snort from him. It was a good-natured snort, and he could feel himself relaxing a bit, even if the subject wasn’t exactly an easy one for either of them. Still, Rexanna’s smile was enough to banish any last qualms Loren might be feeling about Zariah. If his cousin came—when she came, rather—he’d deal with it. First, he had a LongNight to survive.
Which the blue-eyed woman seemed to understand, if her lack of response to his non-promise was any indication. He pulled his knees up to his chest. Unlike her, he wasn’t very good at focusing on the positives. Granted, he had many fewer than her at the moment. Still, she was right: she was here. And he could accept that. ”That you are.” However, accepting that didn’t mean sex would help the Launceleyn with his own anxiety.
”Somehow, it doesn’t surprise me to hear that Edrei was in your orgy.” Smiling a bit sadly, he glanced at Rexanna as she brought up the magic sex room. Right. In the insanity and fear, he’d forgotten about that. ”Glad you all had fun, though.” Honestly, it was impossible for him to picture the scene; given that he’d had sex once (unless he counted Frey), he didn’t exaclty have a lot of imagery to draw upon. Actually...if he considered it like his second encounter with the god, just substituting in other bodies, it was all too easy.
As she explained what a rollercoaster was, the summoner gave her a little grin, though it faded quickly. ”So your relationship with Bastien went up and down?” That’s what Loren thought, though it occurred to him how little he knew about the couple. He’d been to their wedding, participated in it, but hadn’t gotten to know the people involved. As evidenced by his comments to Rexanna earlier in the season. Hopefully this was one of those better late than never situations.
they tried to make you bleed with bullets and daggers
but your heart is made of steel
Rexanna gives him a knowing nod in response to his comment of her being here. After all, it got her this far, to realize the things she liked and didn’t like, to move on and evade. An escape of sorts. But at the mention of Edrei, she nods to that with understanding too. A party like that with no Edrei was like a fish with no water. Still, she smiles to Loren a bit sadly. “We did. Maybe next time you can come along too.” She shrugs, though a bit of a light glimmers in her eye at that. “We’ve lost a few members. Lucas died the day we opened that portal.” She says quietly, thinking back in the Mathair and what they had done to it. The tree that had jutted its branch out, straight through his system.
It was sad, really.
But she explains the rollercoaster next, and she nods when he grasps the concept. “It did.” She says with a bit of a smile. “We spent our first night here last year. In the closet of the Rathskeller. Just as friends, but I was drunk out of my mind and he wanted to make sure I didn’t get sick or die or something.” She shrugs, her memory fuzzy on it. “And then he disappeared, and we all thought he died. There was a funeral and everything once Longnight was over. But one day he just… showed up at my doorstep. I guess he had disappeared during Longnight to Ascend without telling anyone.” She glances to him with a slight smile. They had been friends at that point. And she had been Bastien’s first bite.
When Rexanna suggested that Loren, of all people, might join in an orgy, he let out a bark of laughter. ”Uh, thanks? But uh, no I don’t ah, think I’m orgy material.” Not by a long shot: he should probably have more than one actual sexual partner before he took on multiple at once. That seemed like common sense to him, whatever Frey might advise. Plus, he liked her, but not in that way. Just as a maybe friend, definitely not a potential lover.
However, his awkwardness turned to sorrow in an instant when the blue-eyed woman mentioned that they’d lost multiple members. ”I’m sorry.” His voice came out quietly; hopefully she wasn’t thinking of him as a replacement, because he knew he’d be inadequate. Even if he’d never met Lucas, it seemed she’d been close to the other man. ”The day you almost died, right?” Apparently not everyone had walked away from that encounter. Which she still hadn’t told him nearly enough about. But he'd been promised the details after LongNight, so he figured he'd have to suppress his natural curiosity somehow.
A LongNight romance that had turned into a tragedy that had turned out to be a comedy after all. Or maybe a tragicomedy. It seemed that Bastien and Rexanna had gone through a lot in the past year. Everyone else had too—except for the summoner, of course—so that wasn’t too surprising. The mention of disappearing hit a little too close to home, though the Launceleyn managed to muster up a smile from somewhere. ”I’m glad you two got your happy ending.” Of course their story wasn’t over yet, and their marriage was just beginning. But they’d found each other in the end.
Gods he wanted that too. One day. Assuming he lived that long.
