& whispered in the sound of silence (open)

The curtains were drawn, but still Remi stood at the window. He stared at his own reflection knowing well enough what it was he was meant to see past the blackened curtains. His breath had sufficiently fogged up the nearly-frosted glass, that as he raised a finger to trace a design, the moisture froze almost instantly leaving his creation imprinted clearly: a fox. Ianto was likely out there somewhere, curled up in his wagon, but Remi wished he were here instead, telling lewd jokes by the fire. It was thoughts such as that that crowded Remi's mind, the melancholy weight of which sagged his shoulders as he simply stared out into the blackness. LongNight had only just begun, but already the alchemist felt the darkness creeping in. REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way

i wanted to be ruined —

a little more than i wanted

— to be loved

Perhaps she’s simply trying to ignore the inevitable. The fact that she’ll end up leaving again. This time with a bit more of a personal purpose – a personal purpose that Remi inadvertently had some experience with as well. After all, the Alchemist had been there when she met Amalia. When she had sobbed in the Infirmary for some peace and quiet away from those within the Rathskeller. When she had lost the most important person to her a second time.

So she seeks Remi out, having heard that he doesn’t plan on sticking around for long either. She’s dressed every inch of a warrior ready for Longnight – put together far better than she had been at the Cloister, though part of this reminds her of it immensely. So she huffs a small sigh, hands stuffed into pockets as Auni darts toward the window to butt-bump Remi in greeting, and Kiada offers the Alchemist a small smile. “I heard you weren’t staying long either.” She says by way of greeting, going to stand on the other side of the window to face him. “Ludo? Or some personal thing?”

KIADA

Lost in thought, it's Auni's presence against the back of his legs that makes him start slightly, though there's an instant smile on his face. Turning to regard the nearly-grown luxere, he flashes her a grin, kneeling down to offer scritches behind her ears. "Happy anniversary." He says, shooting the warrior a somber stare. Its been a year since she's had Auni. He knows this well...because its been a year since he lost (and found) Isla. Standing he nods. "Ludo." What more is there to say, than that? "Jigano mentioned he was going to help you with your task." Remi didn't know what it was, nor did he need to really. "If you need anything, let me know. And know the door will always be open when you return." REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way

i wanted to be ruined —

a little more than i wanted

— to be loved

As Remi reaches down to scratch Auni, his tongue pops out lopsided and he tilts his head this way and that for the utmost best scratches. A slight groan leaving his throat in his content, while Kiada gives Remi a nod. “You too.” She says simply. It’s not necessarily a happy one, but an anniversary nonetheless. And Aofie’s birthday as well. It was one hell of a LongNight last year. She hopes this one is better.

At the mention of Ludo, she nods easily. She nods again when he mentions Jigano has told the Alchemist he’s accompanying her. “We need the lantern to succeed.” She tells him easily, uncertain what else Jigano might have told him. At the mention of if she needed anything, she gives him a small smile. “Thank you. Deimos made me plenty of weapons and armor though, I’m hoping it’ll be okay with Jigano there.” And she trusts him to have her back, to finish the task.

“Last Longnight when we met again… When Ru’in died. Ludo told me before the blight got to me that his soul never made it to Mort.” She frowns lightly, looking out over the crowd. “That is my task, from Ludo. To find whatever has Ru’in’s soul, and slay it to save his soul.” It’s a sad thing to have to do, but she’ll do it. The best she can. To help.

KIADA

"Mmmmm." Remi replies, humming a note of apology for getting Auni's gender wrong. There are plans for a birthday for Aoife, or so he's heard. He hasn't disuaded Amalia from this, but nor has he encouraged it. Though their starry-eyed child of course deserves to be celebrated, LongNight was easily the worst moment of Ronin's life. It's hard to feel merry when thinking about Vanya's death. There's no hubris within the alchemist as he nods immediately. Jigano is more than clever and capable and has experienced the throws of LongNight more than first hand. As has Kiada. They are a formidable pair and unlike Loren, the alchemist isn't so sure that group-strength is going to be what lets them stealth throughout the darkness successfully. As the vulture explains her task however the alchemist can't help but drawn in a surprised breath. There are so many questions—how will she know which monster it is? how will she slay it?—but surely she's already thought of these things and has answers. If she hadn't, she'd have asked. "How awful it must be for him...to be trapped like that." For a moment his jaw feathered as he considered, wondering if Ru'in's soul was allowed to simply idle in the darkness, or if it was carried with the monsters. Exposed to all that the creature was. REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way

i wanted to be ruined —

a little more than i wanted

— to be loved

Auni is far more than pleased at the scratches, angling his head here and there, antlers almost fully grown and pointy he’s aware of, trying not to stab the Alchemist but appreciating the attention all the same. And as she explains the items and things she has, that Jigano will be coming, she can’t help but feel the flutter of anxiety in her stomach. She wishes Deimos could come too; but she can’t take him from Amalia, from this place, from safety.

And so she nods to the Alchemist, in silent agreement. “Third times the charm, right?” She says, shooting him a glance and a small almost sad smile. “He died in Helovia. Then here last LongNight. Perhaps this time he’ll get some rest.” At least that’s what she’s continually telling herself. To slay him is to save him. “What do you have to do for it?” She asks in response to Ludo bringing him from the warmth of the Guild, from a husband and a daughter.

KIADA

Raising a brow, his lips turning down even though his overall expression was one of reserved mirth, Remi made a small hmmmming sound in the back of his throat. "I...spoke to your mother about that. Apparently many of you have died and come back. Why not a third time?" Wessex had come back. Amalia. Ronin. Why not Ru'in? "Last year it gave me its mask just before LongNight..and I lost it." Well, Lucas stole it, but there was no point in deflecting blame. Not anymore. "That was when it took my memories away. Later I vowed not to let anyone die alone in the cold during LongNight to make up for what I had done, and it accepted." Sort of accepted, anyways. Shrugging softly he ruffled a hand through his curls. "Selfishly, I just..want to be done with gods and owed favours. To live my life with Ronin and Aoife and not worry about constantly being struck down." REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way

i wanted to be ruined —

a little more than i wanted

— to be loved

She tilts her head to him when he mentions that he spoke to her mother about that. And she distinctly recalls a brief moment of clarity at the wedding, how Remi had been the one to join Rexanna and Bastien. “Yeah.” She admits, a small smile crossing her face. “It would be nice I think.” The Harpy settles a bit, a little bit of that childish awkwardness shining through as if she could see it happening – a girl beneath the layers of armor and weaponry.


At the mention of what Ludo wishes the Alchemist does, she focuses her attention on him again, leaning against the wall slightly and folding her arms across her chest. “I don’t blame you. I’ve heard the stories… I’m sorry for all you’ve been through.” She hasn’t heard everything obviously, but enough to get an idea. “I felt kind of lost… Until the Cloister. And when I almost won, when I went up against Delah, I realized that maybe I should try and make my own kind of path? I’ve always just… Been what people wanted me to be. What I needed to be to survive.” Her head tilts toward Remi. “Perhaps I’m a bit selfish too. Is it selfish to want to be ourselves and just live like we should be?”

KIADA

Not knowing Kiada well enough to know precisely what it is that he sees glistening for just a moment beneath the all-too real soldier’s facade, he decides in that moment that he hopes one day to. That this woman lived among a fortress of mountains with Deimos as her king and Rexanna as her mother? It’s a world he can hardly imagine. But if the Sword is to be believed, perhaps one day he won’t have to; he’ll see it for himself. With a boyish shrug, bashful and awkward at her sympathy, Remi gives the warrior a sea-glass stare and silently considers for a moment. “I understand that.” He says eventually, biting at the inside of his lower lip as his eyes narrow. “In Northaven I...was not the man I am now. I created weapons, actually. Kept to myself. Could not love who I wanted to.” It was a different sort of survival to that which Kiada likely alluded to, but then again, perhaps not. Unable to help himself, especially given how often Loren has called him selfish as of late for speaking his mind and expressing his feelings, the alchemist wearily shakes his head, but there’s a dark grin there as well. “Honestly? I have no idea. Once I did not think so. Recently? I think maybe it is. But..maybe you are allowed to be selfish, then.” Glancing at Kiada, Remi shrugs helplessly. “Damned for being too much of what they want, but selfish for not being enough.” It was a bleak line of thinking for the once-sunny alchemist, but then again, that was the world he now found himself in. REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way

i wanted to be ruined —

a little more than i wanted

— to be loved

Perhaps one day when Aofie is old enough, Remi might understand the glistening layer beneath the rest of the Harpy’s exterior. For the time being, she’s thankful he doesn’t comment on it. And she continues on, focusing on pushing that part of her aside, for that rebellious young woman of fire and ice, of bronze metal and glacial eyes. At his admission, a frown finds her face, not understanding why he couldn’t love who he wanted to, but imagines that it’s its own form of terrible punishment. “I like this version of you.” She says quietly.

And she does, the selfless and selfish Alchemist. The one that had brought her along to fly around the Spire when she first arrived. Ah, to think how far they’ve come. But as she poises the question of selfish and selflessness to Remi, she smiles lightly when he admits that perhaps you’re allowed to be selfish. A light shimmer of pale and black feathers ruffle along her neck at that, obscuring that X marking etched into her neck. “It’s always like that, though, isn’t it? The world isn’t kind to us.” She says, folding her arms along her chest and shrugging. “But we make do with what we have.” It’s a bit optimistic for what Kiada’s about to embark on, but she’s tired of dwelling on it anymore. Anxious? Yes. But to worry more and more and get herself sick over it? It didn’t do anyone any favors.

KIADA

Chuckling slightly, Remi offers his icy-eyed friendly a boyish and bashful shrug. " I think I do too. Or at least, I am starting to." Then again this version of himself had committed murder, had made a plethora of stupid mistakes, had gotten himself cursed numerous times. Perhaps there was something to be said for being meek and mild after all. "Well if it isn't, it is not a life that I have seen." There probably are those who just are, and get to be themselves without question. Ronin, seems like one. Wessex, another. With enough strength and the right circumstances, Remi thinks indeed you have the privilege of being the person you want without being selfish. The alchemist, who has rarely wanted for anything, hardly understands all the accusations of selfishness lobbied his way, but such is life, as Kiada has pointed out. "When do you plan on going? I know I kept thinking Oh I shall go at night, but I suppose...that does not really make sense this week." REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way

i wanted to be ruined —

a little more than i wanted

— to be loved

A boyish shrug is sent her way as he tells her that he thinks he does too. And she only offers a shrug back in response, uncertain what to even say to that. There had been versions of her in her worlds that she didn’t like, but there was really nothing she could do about it now other than become a better version, the version she wants to be. But it takes time, and she’s still not quite there yet.

Instead, she nods with a slightly girlish smile, a silent agreement. “Especially for those of us that have seen other worlds.” She adds, because while Caido was harsh, there was a certain amount of hardship that came with experiencing what should have been better places, only to find out theyre all the same in one way or another.

Her head tilts to him when he asks her when she plans to go, and she contemplates the question for a brief moment before sighing softly. “I think… When it feels right? It told me to take something of his, to bring the lantern, and search for him while calling his name.” She frowns lightly. “But I’m stronger now than I was last Longnight. And it told Auni he could light the way. I hope he comes to us rather than trying to search all of Caido for him.” She admits, because she’s had a terrible time with timing in her life.

KIADA

The alchemist can’t help but chuckle grimly at that. For his naive upbringings and for however much he thinks himself fairly common, he has seen other worlds. He has come from a land probably unimaginable to those here. Indeed, it largely has been given how the Grounders took to Zariah’s leadership and such. “Would you go back?” He asks, head tilted slightly out of curiosity. “I always hated a bit being asked that question, especially when I first arrived. Now that I know he answer is no, I .... I suppose I find it comforting.” Barking a laugh, and then immediately shaking his head apologetically, Remi bites the inside of his lip crossing his arms across his chest and leaning against the window. “I would like to think that were I in his position, I would never stop looking for Ronin.” The alchemist said, unsure if this was at all helpful, the sort of thing Kiada had already considered, or merely just Remi talking for the sake of it. “Then again...we’ve not heard reports from the Greatwood, so perhaps it is true that the monsters are only here. That at least narrows it down to just the Hollowed Grounds” He added with a dry and crooked smile, knowing that searching all of the Grounds would be nearly impossible anyways. REMI what have i become?my sweetest friend—everyone know goes away in the end if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself. i would find a way

i wanted to be ruined —

a little more than i wanted

— to be loved

“Would you go back?” It’s a question she, too, has received before. And she listens to his explanation before she’s able to formulate a response. Giving the Alchemist a wry grin, the Harpy shrugs. “There is nothing left of my previous worlds.” She tells him simply. They had been thrown from world to world, when each of them collapsed. What would be there to go back to? “The only thing I want anymore are mountains.” She snorts, a small chuckle leaving her at that. “To stick Deimos in it and watch him brood all day.”

It’s not exactly a lie, and she can picture it like when she was a child. Only this time she’s far less frightened of throwing a snowball at him.

When Remi tells her that he’d never stop looking for Ronin, she nods. At the information of the Greatwood, she gnaws on her lip in a slight amount of surprise. “That’s good to know, actually.” It was helpful, to know that perhaps they only needed to search where the scars in the earth from the barrier were. And no further. Though they wouldn’t be able to know until they got there. “Speaking of the Greatwood, Deimos, Amalia, Jigano, and I all went into the Spire again. We found a book about Portals.” She turns to face him a bit more fully.

“There was the Spire, and the Mathair, and a place called ’The Citadel.’ It was like looking in a window? We could see in and go no further.” She informs him, uncertain if anyone else has. “And there were Fae standing guard of the tree, it looked… Damaged?” It looked like nothing the blighted would have been capable of.

KIADA