the lies we tell ourselves

EVIE

This is her first LongNight outside of her ancestral home.

It's no small decision, one her parents had objected to in painful ways. Evie wonders how long ago it was that they forced themselves to forget her Abandoned nature. When it was they convinced themselves her gifts were only talent, that she was not a disappointment greater than her twin.

There is logic to spreading out in small groups, and the other Naturals had understood that. Part of her wonders, in the wake of the drama and loss that is already erupting around her, if they've really made the right decision. But she must hold faith, even if it had never been reciprocated. The Gods may have tossed her from their graces, but she is still here. Trying.

Evie sighs, a hand reaching idly for one of her sprouts, and what happens next is only noticed from her peripheral vision as she reaches. The sprout bends impossibly towards her fingers in a non-existent wind, long before they touch on the edge of the pot. Evie stumbled backwards so fast she topples her chair loudly, blue eyes staring wide and terrified at the tiny plant.

No. No. Please no. Please.

Her hands shake, and she clutches them to her chest, twisting her fingers together until her skin goes white and her knuckles ache. No, no. It was just a trick of the light. She's just tired. She doesn't have a new magic, she can't.

Evie doesn't cry. Too many long years of this burden has dried all of them until she is merely a husk. A vessel for this cursed magic that has destroyed her life and torn her from the side of her Gods. But she does sink to the floor, burying her head between her knees, and wonders what she ever did so wrong to deserve this kind of curse.

_{Table Code by Sky!}

DANTE

The temple was bigger than he had expected when first arriving. It made sense if most of the town was staying there during the time of this Longnight, but the scale of that hadn't truly registered until he found himself wandering the halls trying to find Evie. He hadn't seen her since they'd parted ways upon arrival and though he's fixed his hair since then, and aside from Dante, she was the only one he knew. Normally he had no problem being around so many strangers but the mix of so many strangers and being in a completely different world away from family and everything he'd ever known... Well, that was a whole different story.

He didn't even know there was a room suitable for growing plants until he walks in to see a veritable greenhouse. There's a moment where he pauses to just stare at these small plants, obviously young, and wonder how similar they would grow to be like the ones he knew. His own mom had been trying to keep a little plant alive on their windowsill for the majority of his life. She didn't exactly have a green thumb. The memory almost makes him laugh as he reaches a hand out to brush against one of the leaves, toying with it between his index finger and thumb. Was she worried about him now? And was it because he's her child or because he's an extra source of income?

He pulls his hand away and wonders if the brown, withering parts along the stalk had always been there.

Dante's ready to turn and leave the room and away from thoughts of his mother when he hears something topple over just where his vision is obscured by a particularly large variety of flora. It's really not his business but that's never kept him from poking his nose into it anyway (how do you think he ended up in Caido in the first place?). A familiar shock of red hair is sitting on the floor and after a few blinks of recognition, glancing from the fallen chair to Evie, he moves to sit cross-legged beside her.

His hands remain folded in his lap as he waits a moment before speaking, unsure if he even should. Dante has never been one to keep his mouth shut.

"We have the same kind of plants back home, I think. It's nice to see them here, too. I won't know until they grow some more, obviously, but I guess even in a different world it's not so different." Despite previously shown exuberance, even he can read a room, and pauses before continuing. "Is everything okay, Evie?"

& the moon is the only light we'll see
no, i won't be afraid

EVIE

She's not left alone for long. Truly she didn't expect to need this kind of time alone, hadn't ever anticipated her magic manifesting in new ways. She'd had nightmares about it, sure. Had woken sweat-damp and heaving for breath, tangled in the knots of her sheets, gripped by the terror of her fate falling through her grasping fingers like sand. Evie had already adapted so much of her life to hide her magic, bitterly resented those who accepted it so easily, Naturals and Outlanders alike. Evie is not proud of her prejudice, though it's mostly self-focused. But this? This is the realization of every curse, wrongdoing, and sin she has ever committed. A nail in the coffin if complacency. A reminder that no matter how faithful she was, how much she denied the magic she was born with, she would always be Abandoned. Unloved. Unwanted by the gods she had sworn her life to in helpless, desperate devotion.

She isn't sure how long she sits there, nails digging into her scalp, lost in the darkness behind her eyes, before someone stumbles upon her. Scarcely even realizes she's no longer alone until they sit beside her. Then she unfurls from her ball, turns her gaze to the boy at her side, and feels her heart spasm with appreciation and agony in equal measure. He doesn't need the burden of seeing her like this on his young shoulders. And she hates herself for placing it there in the first place. Evie has been scolded for years to keep her composure, and this is exactly why. Making her issues someone else's problem.

But his young voice is soothing, distracting, and she lifts her blue eyes to the flora in bloom around them. It's easier than looking into the sincerity in his young face. "I can tell you about them someday, if you'd like. They're kind of my specialty." Her laugh is a little strained, but it's easier than she expected. But he reads her too well - can't blame him for that when she's huddled in a ball by an overturned chair, but still.

"What I did when I met you...I used magic to heal you. For those of us born here, it's like a curse, because the gods dislike you for your power. It's why we're called the Abandoned. And we can't help it, we're born with it. We don't even get a choice, a chance." She tilts her head back, leans into the wall, stares up at the ceiling and wonders when it was she began feeling this old. Where did her childhood go? It seems lost in a sea of self-doubt and secrecy now. "The Outlanders, like you, they don't have the same feelings. They didn't grow up wanting acceptance from our gods. It has become far more accepted here ever since, but..." Here she stares down at her hands, wishing the magic was like a mass that she could surgically remove somehow. Tear it out like a thorn and let the blood run free until she wasn't tainted any longer.

"My family...they despise it. I think they fooled themselves into thinking it was just a skill for herbs and medicines, which they fostered in me to hide it. I've hidden it for so long, and then-" suddenly upset, she reaches her hand out to the nearest plant, gripping and reaching with all her might until it flings itself sideways. Sending soil all over the floor as the stems shudder in acquiescence. Evie's laugh is hollow as she lowers her hand. Reaches her other to run over Dante's hair slowly, before hooking tentatively at his neck to pull him closer to her. Turns to bury her face in his curls, grounding herself there. "I can't escape it anymore." Where she goes from here is still unknown. But she feels better with Dante against her side, with the words expelled like poison being sucked from her veins.

_{Table Code by Sky!}

DANTE

There was a lot for Dante to take in. Hardly keeping up with talk of magic, something he'd only ever heard about in fairytales, most of it goes over his head despite being intent on listening as Evie speaks. It didn't seem fair just as Evie said and obviously struggled with, to be given such a title at birth. Without even a chance to prove themselves to the gods that were held in such high esteem but to be tossed aside without a second thought. If these gods were anything like the ones back home... Well, they may not be benevolent but didn't they have a say in their creations? Weren't the 'Abandoned' just as much their children as the others?

He's long past the stage of being surprised at Evie's apparent use of magic, though aside from the hair on the back of his neck standing on end, nothing that she laid out in front of him surprised him. New world, new rules.

Or something like that.

Dante doesn't speak for a long while (probably the longest since arriving in Caido) as Evie verbally processes her thoughts and explains more of this unknown land, and for once his hands are still. He doesn't fidget, only leaning forward to right the plant that she's flung after the fact, and though wide-eyed and admittedly startled at the outburst, he remains silent. His smaller hands scoop the soil back into the pot, patting the dirt back into place. And if the plant begins to wither at his touch, he doesn't notice.

"I think that's stupid. What kind of parent would call their kid something like that? I think it should be called..." He doesn't speak until he's safely tucked back against her side, leaning up into the hand ruffling his hair. And though he feels a bit like a dog at their master's side, it doesn't stop the smile spreading on his lips at the soft touch of affection. "Gifted. I don't think you could be anything else with how much you've helped. Not just me but these plants too. Who else can do that?"

"Okay, maybe these gods can do that but they don't call them abandoned." His nose wrinkles as he scrunches his face up in thought, still cradling the small plant in his lap as he rests against Evie.

& the moon is the only light we'll see
no, i won't be afraid