I laugh not to cry

Nate

Nate had been having what could generously be called a trying night (not that he was even sure it had been a night, he had slept once, and not well) and he was beginning to reach the end of his rope. Between worry over Sam, and the sick twisting feeling in his chest that was also inexplicably tied to Sam, and the general, overarching miasma of fear and worry that hung in the guild, he was starting to get touchy. In the worst possible situation one could be touchy in.

Thankfully, he had a man on the inside who could give him something to take the edge off.

There was still enough sense in him to wait until Sam had drifted off, as much as he could, before he crept out of the room, seeking a tall dark someone with a bag full of the good stuff. Nothing too strong, and nothing that smoked, but something to keep him fucking calm in the face of everything. Or at least the facade of calm.

”Hey bud. S’been a while, huh?” Was the overly casual greeting he offered when he found the man of the hour, a hand clapping on Adams shoulder and a desperation he knew had to be familiar in his eyes.

So let's face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it's fun to pretend

Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they're all I have

Adam

Pet had gone somewhere and he still wasn't back. Adam was beginning to get anxious and he could only walk around the guild so many times before he would go insane, so he had delved into the contents of his bag to try and find himself an artificial way to improve his mood. He had stocked plenty of things and was rather spoilt for choice - choosing something that might relax him (and possibly make him sleepy enough to get a nap, as embarrassing as it was that was what he was after) he took it and found a dim corner of the guild, hoping to drift off.

His eyes were half-lidded when Nate clapped his shoulder and Adam jumped, sitting up to look the man up and down. Immediately, he suspected this was not a purely social visit. There was a look in Nate's eyes that he knew very well, had been trained to spot. As much as a part of him wanted to tell Nate to fuck off and go to sleep, it was good to have people owing you and perhaps some company would help him distract himself.

"I got uppers or downers or something that'll make you see every fucking colour in the world. What're you after?" He asked, reaching for his satchel.

Collected my belongings and I left the jail.

Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.

Nate

Adam doesn’t turn him away, and Nate nearly sags in relief, kneeling down beside the other man. He had seen the hesitation, the split second of decision that flickered in Adams eyes, and didn’t know what else he’d do if he’d been turned away.

”I want something that’s gonna make me forget about all of this shit.” Nate threw a hand around in a loose gesture, talking about all of Longnight, the monsters, the being locked up. It didn’t even go into specifics, the worry with Sam. He can all but see blood on his hands when he closes his eyes, though he knows there’s nothing there.

”Give me something that’s going to fuck me up.”

So let's face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it's fun to pretend

Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they're all I have

Adam

Make me forget. Fuck me up.

"Geez, you've had a bad day, huh?" Adam asked, a hollow laugh at the back of his words. All of them had had bad weeks, he supposed; Longnight seemed to invite a million different tragedies, each of them different but none less hurtful than the others. He began to search through his bag for something specific. "Alright, but lemme warn you, this shit is strong."

Eventually he pulled out a small glass brown bottle, with a thin neck, and held it out towards Nate. There was a dark liquid inside and a cork stopper on a hinge held it in. "Put it by your nose and..." Adam blocked off one nostril then took in air through his nose, miming snorting in some of the liquid's fumes.

"You're gonna wanna sit down right after." It had been a while since he'd had any of this specific good time, but he knew it would knock Nate right off his feet.

Collected my belongings and I left the jail.

Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.

Nate

”A bad day. Yea, you could say that.” A humourless bark of laughter left Nate, his mouth barely moving as the sound pushed out of him. His eyes were locked in Adams hands, on the little bottle the other man pulled out from his bag. It wasn’t anything Nate recognized, but that wasn’t rally what he was looking for. The bottle was snatched up as soon as it was offered, the lid popped up and held close to his face before Adam had even finished the instructions.

Instructions he really should have listened to. Nate swayed gently as the drug hit him, and pressed himself against the wall, slowly sliding down to the floor as he did. When he was on his ass, he sniffled, and looked at the bottle, thinking about another sniff. Better to wait, and see where this went. For now.

”What was that?” He asked, clinging to the bottle still. Nate was surprised by how coherent he still sounded, despite the hoarseness of his voice, though there was no way to tell if that was just in his head.

So let's face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it's fun to pretend

Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they're all I have

Adam

Adam laughed as he saw Nate immediately begin to sway after he had taken in the contents of the bottle - holding out his hand for it, he packed it back in his bag and tapped the bench next to him, only to watch Nate slide down the wall and onto the floor. "You're kind of a lightweight, huh?" He asked, though he knew well how overwhelming a first time with some of his supplies could be.

"It's called 'Lilium'. I dunno quite how they make it, but it was big stuff back where I came from. The guards hard just started to crack down on it hard, so I got a decent supply and was gonna sell it, then..." He shrugged, assuming the portal at the end of the story was obvious.

At least while Nate had his guard down he could do a little teasing. "So...you've been seeing that little ginger, right? Y'know I gotta ask if the drapes, curtains, matching, you know." He wiggled his hand about loosely.

Collected my belongings and I left the jail.

Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.

Nate

Nate sniffled, almost fighting when Adam took the bottle back, but deciding it wasn’t worth it. Instead, he rubbed at his nose, his cheeks, trying to spread out the tingling like it was something he could affect. ”I’ve been pretty fucking sober lately.” He snaps back, without any real heat. The room is very slowly starting to spin and he is, in turn, starting to very slowly ease into it.

”Lillium.” He repeats, for no real reason other than to speak, and hear his own voice. ”Never thought I’d be getting high on some...” Nate waved his hand, the action distracting him a moment before he comes back to his words, “...some kind of fantasy drugs.” Then he snorted, and shook his head, almost tipping over as he does.

There is no blue in his eyes when he looks up at Adam, his brows furrowing then relaxing as he parses the words. ”Sam.” He says, with absolute certainty, before grinning and nodding. ”Matches all the way down. Hot little number.” He’s learned his lesson, and doesn’t nod, not really. Instead Nate just kinda bobs, as if it means anything close to the same thing, and taps along his own chest. ”Don’t you got... some weird guy with you too?”

So let's face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it's fun to pretend

Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they're all I have

Adam

"Lightweight and sensitive, huh?" Adam laughed, too sleepy and done with the world to get into any real arguments. People here were so touchy - if they heard half of how he used to tease back in his home they might faint of shock.

Some kind of fantasy drugs. He sat up a little, confused, until he realised what Nate meant; he supposed that to the man his old home might seem like somewhere fantastical, but it had been very much real. "I mean, isn't all the food you eat here 'fantasy food' and so on? Fuck, you're breathing fantasy air, dude."

He grinned at Nate's description of Sam, nodding absentmindedly and looking off into the guild. He'd always had a bit of a thing for red hair, but he knew Sam's anxious personality (which was obviously just in the way he held himself, all stooped with clasped hands) would drive him nuts in minutes. "Is he secretly a huge slut in bed? Guys like that always surprise you."

As for his own 'weird guy'... "Yeah. He's...gone somewhere, right now, but his name's Pet. Peter. He's alright. I think we might have something, y'know serious, which is really fucking weird for me, but...." Adam tilted his head from side to side, as if trying to think of ways to justify it. "I like something about him, I dunno. He's really honest."

Collected my belongings and I left the jail.

Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.

Nate

"I gotta reputation t'uphold." Nate protested again, the words coming out in a staccato. "Can't have you goin' around calling me a lightweight." He snorted, and lifted a hand back to his face, pushing hair away from his forehead almost obsessively, holding it back in the end. His eyes pinched closed as he tried to parse what Adam was saying, draw the lines between normal and fantastical in his mind.

There was no way for him to argue with Adam's sense, but... that didn't mean he was right either. "Fantasy air... man, if I'm here, it stops being fantasy." It hadn't come with thought, but Nate knew the words were right, in some way. Not that it really mattered, in the end, but... he liked being argumentative, even weakly.

"If I tell you, it stops being a secret." Nate snorted. He wanted to brag, he really did, just out of habit, to bring back a little part of old traditions, where every word about his conquests was a lie. It was different with Sam, and he still wasn't quite comfortable enough to just... blurt things out, even in his state. That, and he wanted to keep his thoughts away from the ginger, lest he fall back into that tangled pit of worry and maybe love and whatever the fuck else he was feeling.

Instead, he leaned in, elbowing Adam in the side and grinning. "You lost him, huh?" But he grew more serious as the other man continued, Nate's head cocked as he looked at Adam, took his words in. "You sure its the honesty? That... doesn't really seem like your brand."

So let's face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it's fun to pretend

Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they're all I have

Adam

"Oh don't worry, I keep my mouth shut. Usually for a price, but..." Adam shrugged. "Mate's rates, I guess." Nate had given him some pretty good times, after all - had he not been a committed man now Adam might have asked him if he wanted to go to a back room so they could make more memories.

Wouldn't fantasy drugs stop being fantasy drugs if Nate was doing them? Adam knew this was the kind of conversation that could go on forever, especially with both of them high, so he resisted responding, not sure he could take a mind trip into stupid questions right now. "Well shit, look at you getting morals at the last hour. You in love, dude?" The way Adam asked, all smirks and joking tone, showed just what he thought of being in love.

"I don't see yours around either. But yeah, I mean...he just tells you right up what he thinks. He seems kinda unsure about it sometimes, but it's like he doesn't know how to bullshit like everyone else. It's just...kinda refreshing." Adam shrugged, but he couldn't keep the faint smile from his face. "I spent a loooooot of time around bullshitters. Including me."

Collected my belongings and I left the jail.

Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.

Nate

Nate shook his head and laughed, forgetting his earlier lesson but not minding so much how the world swirled this time. ”Mates rates.” He repeated to himself, trying and failing to stifle his giggles. It was just a funny phrase, made funnier by the other mans accents. And this had been the whole point of getting high; finding a simple joy and trying to revel in it.

”It’s not morals, it’s...” In stark contrast to Adams less than serious take on love, Nate grew quiet. One might even say thoughtful. ”I dunno. I’m just... trying to do one step at a time, yknow? Shit that’s meant to be will be, or whatever.” And something about Sam did feel eventual, like they would work their way into a place that maybe wasn’t easy, but that was good.

Nate crowned, and opened his mouth to protest that he did know exactly where Sam was when he realized, oh. No he doesn’t. He knows where he left his partner, but that didn’t necessarily mean there was where he’d stay. Adams still talking though, and it’s much easier to focus back on that than it is to get worried, so that’s what Nate does. ”Shit, he really doesn’t sound like your type.” Nate laughed, then elbowed the other man. ”You sure you’re not in love?”

So let's face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it's fun to pretend

Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they're all I have

Adam

"Yeah...mate's rates." Adam repeated, halfway between concern and amusement. He knew Lilium hit hard, but not this hard. He supposed it had been a long time since he'd seen anyone take it for the first time; most of his friends back home had been more than familiar with the little brown bottles (and many other forms of good times, for that matter).

Nate wasn't just saying phrases weird, he was getting wistful about love. The guy really was going through all the motions of a first high. "Sounds like you're kinda in love. Gross."

Adam didn't know what his 'type' was. He'd bedded many people over many years, from all kinds of different backgrounds, of all genders, all appearances. Still, he didn't know what wouldn't make Peter it. The guy was cute and nice and as he'd said, honest. "Well I dunno what the fuck I am, but at the minute I'm getting tired of this conversation." His words were harsh but he said them with a teasing lilt, waving Nate away so he could get a nap.

"If you want anything else come back, but you should give that a couple hours to go through ya." He was sure Nate would have a good enough time and get knocked out long enough to not come back for the rest of Longnight.

Collected my belongings and I left the jail.

Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.