in my darkness, you turned on a light
i hate the way you bring me back to life
Loren’s statement does little to quell the burning flame within him. He doesn’t know what else he can do. He’s done his best, but he’s not the same, and perhaps at the end of the day they can’t simply adjust to each other’s adjustments. Or maybe he hasn’t given it enough time without getting sick and frustrated, destroying what little bit of life he could have made with her here. But she would’ve found out sooner or later that he’s different now – that the tattoos when she had left him hadn’t had the compasses yet. That the scar on the side of his neck from behind his ear down to the top of his chest had been from when he had lurched forward when his father had slit her neck.
“What if… What if I can’t do my best?” He finally says wearily, tired and frustrated, biting down on his lower lip while Loren reaches the water barrel, grabbing a cup and filling it with water and handing it to him. For a moment he simply stares at the water, watching the ripples reflect the candlelight and sighing internally, before he lifts it to drink from. Steel eyes meet Loren’s when he doesn’t question his love for Lusea, and he nods slowly, going to fill his cup a second time. “We’ve been through so fucking much together.” He rumbles, better now, far more solemn and quiet than the frustrated side of him that had pinned Loren to the wall.
He doesn’t comment on the fact he had apologized, knowing that it was the right thing to do. It was the least he could do. “I guess after that Phoebe went and told her too.” He shakes his head again, lifting the cup of water to his lips to drink again, to feel the cool water slide down his throat and cool him from the inside out. Though his skin is still red, still flushed, but surprisingly with Loren’s help he’s feeling admittedly better than before.
“That’s the difference though.” He says after a moment. “Every single thing is a punishment of sorts.” He offers unhelpfully, tattooed shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. “And I get it, I do, but when will she decide that enough is enough?” Because he doesn’t know, and his insecurities are getting the best of him. But Loren mentions it might be the hardest thing he’s ever done, and surprisingly a smile crosses his face at that. “Harder than taking down an entire county in rebellion? Because godsdamn it, that was a lot of work.” Steel eyes flash back to Loren with a dark raised brow.
And Loren might have actually done it, broken through those insecurities, and he drifts closer to the Summoner, head angled over Loren’s shoulder with a rogue smile. “But Loren, I’m so good at wallowing.” It’s aimed as a joke, but it’s a sign that he’s doing better, feeling better by this pep talk. He withdraws to reach his free hand up to Loren’s shoulder and squeeze far gentler than he had when he shoved the summoner. “Thanks. And uh, sorry about what happened back there.”
“What if… What if I can’t do my best?” He finally says wearily, tired and frustrated, biting down on his lower lip while Loren reaches the water barrel, grabbing a cup and filling it with water and handing it to him. For a moment he simply stares at the water, watching the ripples reflect the candlelight and sighing internally, before he lifts it to drink from. Steel eyes meet Loren’s when he doesn’t question his love for Lusea, and he nods slowly, going to fill his cup a second time. “We’ve been through so fucking much together.” He rumbles, better now, far more solemn and quiet than the frustrated side of him that had pinned Loren to the wall.
He doesn’t comment on the fact he had apologized, knowing that it was the right thing to do. It was the least he could do. “I guess after that Phoebe went and told her too.” He shakes his head again, lifting the cup of water to his lips to drink again, to feel the cool water slide down his throat and cool him from the inside out. Though his skin is still red, still flushed, but surprisingly with Loren’s help he’s feeling admittedly better than before.
“That’s the difference though.” He says after a moment. “Every single thing is a punishment of sorts.” He offers unhelpfully, tattooed shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. “And I get it, I do, but when will she decide that enough is enough?” Because he doesn’t know, and his insecurities are getting the best of him. But Loren mentions it might be the hardest thing he’s ever done, and surprisingly a smile crosses his face at that. “Harder than taking down an entire county in rebellion? Because godsdamn it, that was a lot of work.” Steel eyes flash back to Loren with a dark raised brow.
And Loren might have actually done it, broken through those insecurities, and he drifts closer to the Summoner, head angled over Loren’s shoulder with a rogue smile. “But Loren, I’m so good at wallowing.” It’s aimed as a joke, but it’s a sign that he’s doing better, feeling better by this pep talk. He withdraws to reach his free hand up to Loren’s shoulder and squeeze far gentler than he had when he shoved the summoner. “Thanks. And uh, sorry about what happened back there.”
'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie
i like you better when i am dead inside
SuNJATA
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent and has a passive magic that makes him produce a subtle scent that matches exactly to whatever those around him most desire him to smell like.
