this ain't for the best

& all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

Loren's note couldn't have come at a more inopportune time. Then again, perhaps it was for the best. The portal to Halo, Ianto's disappearance, the Greatwood made off-limits, the absurdity of being a portal guardian, and the devastation which followed LongNight all made the former duke's correspondence pale in comparison to everything else that demanded the alchemist's attention. It did however make him feel slightly less awkward and intimidated about visiting the Atheneum.

For all of this though, Remi's smile was bright. He'd made a concerted effort to try and reacquaint himself with whoever he'd been before everything came crashing down. Before he'd become a murderer, before he'd become cursed and abandoned (literally), before the world had darkened him. Appearing as he once had been known to do, Remi was dressed simply, managing still to look every bit the part of a mad alchemist. Smudges of grease lined his elbows, dirt on his brow, paint on his shirt and paints. But as it always had, it signaled something happy about the man; mess being his natural habitat and indicator of a happy and focused mind.

Stomping some of the mud off of his boots and hissing vaguely threatening curses under his breath at some dark patches that were squelching their way closer, he quickly made his way into the Atheneum making sure to close the door tightly behind him. Now the task was to find a book on wagon-making, or if that wasn't possible, something on the various terrains that his wagon might need to traverse. He didn't think there would be much in the way of this, but he could check. If nothing else, Jigano would likely sense his presence and appear to help him out.

The white sheep of the family

There was quite a bit of information Loren needed confirmed, and a quite frustrating lack of confirmation to be found in the Atheneum. Indeed, there was nothing specific about Halo, or mage glass, or anything about the portals. Or at least that he could turn up as he scoured the shelves. At this point, he was deep in the sections about folklore and legends, arms piled high with texts he doubted would yield the answers he sought.

Sighing, he turned to return back to the desk he’d claimed. As he entered into the main area, the summoner came face-to-face with Remi. The Launceleyn’s eyes widened as they took in the other man’s presence and appearance. For a long moment, Loren remained silent. ”Um. Hi.” He offered the alchemist an incredibly tentative smile. Although Remi looked truer to form, the summoner looked different: he’d kept his serviceable black clothing, but he’d put on a little bit more of the weight and looked lean and much less like a skeleton.

Awkwardly shifting his weight from foot to foot, his eyes searched the other man’s face. The Launceleyn’s fingers tapped a nervous beat against a book in his arms before he stilled them.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

& all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

Hardly paying attention, Remi nearly walked straight into Loren. Given how darkly the man was dressed and how slight his build was, fat on his bones or not, the alchemist started abruptly as he pulled up so as not to crash into the summoner. Eye to eye for a moment that stretched an indeterminate amount of time, Remi noticed that, for the first time, he felt so very very little for the man before him. There were complex emotions still swirling around, but now they seemed more a mental itch, not something that painfully twisted at his stomach and blew like a cool wind through his veins.

"Hi." Remi responded, accented voice tight from his lips as he nodded. Tapping his fingers on the book he held—a rhythmic indication of his discomfort—Remi cleared his throat and looked over Loren's shoulder. Nodding slightly in a paradigmatic well, I need to get around you, he offered the summoner a tight-lipped smile and tried to move around his dark-clad frame.

The white sheep of the family

As the other man looked past Loren’s shoulder, he glanced over it as well before realizing that Remi was probably just hoping to get past. The summoner gave the alchemist a sheepish grin. ”Sorry.” Instinctively, the Launceleyn stepped aside, which incidentally pressed his side against the shelf there.

However, that single word was enough to make him fidget in place, his fingers tapping a more rapid beat. ”You ah, got my note?” Loren bit his lip and looked down and away. His gaze studied the cover of the tome at the top of the pile in his arms, tracing the cracks and whorls of the ancient leather.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

& all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

Remi too slid along the wall of books on the opposing side, doing his utmost to not in any way touch the Launceleyn as he passed. He also did what he could to not look at Loren, thus not noticing the rhythm his fingers tapped out nor how he fidgeted in place. Halting at the sound of the question though, for a moment the alchemist's (now) broad shoulders tensed for a moment, before relaxing as he nodded. "Mmm, I did yes." Thank you? He wasn't really sure what sort of response Loren was looking for, and so, turning his head just over his shoulder and nodding still without meeting the Launceleyn's eyes, he moved towards one of the closest tables.

Putting down the book on wagons as well as several fairy tales he'd collected as he'd wandered around, he paused, trying to decide whether or not the prickle on the back of his neck was caused by Loren's gaze. In the end he decided it shouldn't didn't matter.

The white sheep of the family

As Remi slid past, the Launceleyn’s shoulders tensed. They stayed that way as the alchemist walked away. Almost subconsciously, the summoner’s gaze did indeed follow the other man as he left. Loren’s eyes grew misty as he saw Remi dumping his set of books on the nearest desk. Before the Launceleyn knew what was happening, he found his feet following the alchemist's footsteps. ”I didn’t want our last conversation to be our last interaction.” The summoner's voice came out in the barest of whispers, and his arms tightened almost painfully on the pile of books he was carrying.

Unable to meet the other man’s gaze, Loren continued to stare at the volume he’d been studying without seeing this whole time. Then the corner of his lips quirked up and he let out a huff of laughter. ”You’d think I’d have learned the folly of talking to you when I’m not in my right mind.”

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

& all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

Blinking down at the books he placed on the table, Remi's fingers tapped slightly on the cover before balling into a loose fist. "You mean when you called me, drunk, laughing about the body of a murdered boy you left out in the snow?" The alchemist asked. His voice was soft—not so soft as Loren's though—but it had a distant edge to it. Remi had indeed nearly died as he thought he might, the guild had burned down, and all of everything else had basically gone to hell in a matter of hours. But Loren had sent along a note, so that was something.

"Mmmmm well. We are both of us slow learners, it seems." Remi agreed, though his words were not accompanied with a smile nor puff of laughter. Merely a weariness he couldn't quite shake around Loren.

Pulling out the seat at the table, the alchemist settled himself into it and stared blankly at the cover.

The white sheep of the family

At the other man’s words Loren tensed and met the alchemist’s gaze. ”I’m sorry. I didn’t...I didn’t laugh at Cera.” The summoner’s voice continued to come out softly, but there was an undertone of sadness and contrition to it now. ”Or if I did that was unacceptable. But I...I didn’t throw his body out in the snow. Sunjata did. And there were monsters already there, taunting us about how we were all about to die, and I had others I needed to protect.”

Squeezing his eyes shut at the remembered fear, he felt his breath coming more quickly. ”I couldn’t risk the living for the sake of Cera’ body. But...I am truly sorry for his loss.” When he finally opened his eyes, they were haunted. He quickly looked away again.

For a long moment, he stood there, hovering over Remi, before sighing. ”I’ll leave you alone.” Turning away, the Launceleyn glanced back one last time. ”Goodbye, Remi.” With that, Loren walked to his desk. It was in sight of the other man’s, so the summoner started to quietly gather his things.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

& all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

"And after that? When you decided to get drunk instead of recovering his body?" Remi asked, his gaze sharp as he looked at the summoner. "Do you know I flew across the city with Deimos, just to bring Cera back?" And all Loren would have needed to do was open a door (or dirt, or whatever it was the blocked him from accessing the body). "We were attacked nearly the entire way." But I did it, because it was the right thing to do his sea-glass stare seemed to say.

I was attacked and nearly died three times. Rexanna very nearly died. Kiada and Jigano hardly made it back alive, Roana was decapitated inside of the guildhall. Ronin nearly went mad with all the death again, not to mention the monsters that came in and burned everything down. And Loren?

"I heard you had a rather nice LongNight, rathskeller aside. Teaching young boys to fight, alcohol, and sex? Sounds lovely." The alchemist said, opening the book before him and glaring down at the words as they scattered before his eyes. "I can see why you opted to stay at the Temple instead."

The white sheep of the family

Loren flinched at the alchemist’s accusation. ”I’m sorry you had to do that. But I wasn’t going to risk my life, or others, for a body. Maybe that makes me a bad person. If so, I’m sorry, Remi.” This time, the summoner’s voice came out a little firmer. At the comment about getting drunk, the Launceleyn’s eyes tightened. ”That was a mistake. I was feeling...it doesn’t matter.” Shaking his head, he turned to go.

When he was only a few paces away, though, the alchemist’s continued accusations stopped him in his tracks. Keeping his back to Remi, the Launceleyn’s words came out haltingly. ”I stayed at the Temple because I didn’t want to leave them with just Wessex for protection, and because you implied I’d be more of a liability than an asset at the Guild.” He took a deep shuddering breath. ”And you said it was my choice. I am sorry, though, that I didn’t tell you about my decision.” He stood there silently, waiting. ”Anything else?”

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

& all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

Remi wouldn't pass judgement on the quality of Loren's character, though the more he actually got to know the former-duke the more a rather unflattering image began to form. "Would you have if it was me? Or Ronin?" He asked with his brows softly raised, genuinely curious. "Then again with Abasi as interested in the dead as he is, perhaps that will now change your answer."

Remi snorted his disbelief, eyes rolling at Loren's back. "And you argued quite passionately that you wanted to be with us. That you were in a unique position to help, and you know what? You were right. Then again you were in a unique position to help Cera too, but you did not." What made it worse, was that once again Loren said he would be around and he wasn't.

Anything else?

"I am leaving." Remi said, though he didn't get up to move. That wasn't the sort of leaving he meant.

The white sheep of the family

The question caused the summoner to pause for a long moment. When he finally did speak, his tone was sad, but firm. ”No. I would not have retrieved your and Ronin’s bodies.” When Remi brought up Abasi, though, Loren’s jaw tightened, the muscles on his cheek whitening from the force. ”That’s uncalled for.” The hurt was obvious in his voice and his voice, but he made no move to defend himself.

Blinking away the tears (not that the alchemist could see them) the Launceleyn struggled to keep the sobs from choking his voice. ”You argued passionately that I was wrong. Besides, my magic didn’t drive the monsters away, so you were more right than I was in the end. And Cera was dead when I got there.” He bowed his head, even as his shoulders crept upwards. ”I’m sorry.” It came out in the softest of whispers once more.

As the other man said he was leaving, Loren finally looked over his shoulder. ”What do you mean, you’re leaving?” His voice came out defeatedly, and he stared at Remi with tired eyes.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!

& all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

Though Remi's lips crinkled into what looked for all the world like a smile, there was no mirth in his eyes. "I honestly did not expect that." He said, tapping his foot beneath the desk as he allowed things to fall into place. Loren...was not the person he thought he was. He well and truly wasn't, and the alchemist couldn't even begin to vocalize just how jarring it was to learn that. "Is it, though?" He asked, his voice shockingly even. Remi didn't think it was. After all, it had taken him a good deal longer than a matter of weeks to replace the Launceleyn.

"The Spark Bird worked well enough on our end." Remi countered softly. "The point is Loren, I do not believe you. I think you stayed at the Temple for some one. I do not believe you that it had anything to do with Wessex and wanting to protect those who remained." And why? Well it was just as the summoner said. His magic didn't prove that useful and what was worse? He hadn't even been willing to risk his own safety for others. Not really the hallmark of a man bent on protecting those around him.

Holding up the book, depicting a crude diagram of a wagon, Remi tapped it slightly. "Leaving."

The white sheep of the family

Like Remi, there wasn’t a trace of mirth in the Launceleyn’s voice or expression. ”Guess I’m full of surprises.” Just because the summoner was over the other man in a romantic sense didn’t mean the alchemist’s opinion didn't matter to the Launceleyn. Indeed, the pain was evident in his features even though Loren managed to keep it from his tone. ”Why does it matter?” He was genuinely confused by the Remi’s question.

”Well, my summoning didn’t work on my end.” Although the Launceleyn tried not to let it show how much that bothered him, it crept into his voice and posture. When the alchemist accused the summoner of abandoning Remi over Abasi, the annoyance spilled out completely. ”I didn’t. I had no expectations of anything, with anyone.” Taking a deep breath, Loren managed to enough of a grip on himself that when he spoke next it was relatively even. ”Why does Cera’s body matter so much to you? Did you bring it with you when you fled the Guild? Or did you leave it for the fire and then the monsters?”

The summoner’s eyes widened as he took in the text the alchemist was holding. They widened further as understanding dawned. ”I...I see.” Facing the other man, the Launceleyn shifted his weight from foot to foot. ”Then I wish you and Ronin and Aoife all the happiness in the world during your travels. And...I’ll miss you.” His voice trailed off at the end, but it was audible enough.

Then, though, he turned away again.

Will blood tell

Coding base by Sky!