Gratitude

The Sanctuary. Just being here again made her tremble with anxiousness, her breath short with a fear she was forcing herself to shove down. Phoebe had told herself she would never come back but…she was too nice. Her manners too well-groomed. Or she was stupid. Maybe a bit of all of it. But as time passed from her last incident here, the more she had come to realize the truth of the situation…or her truth anyways. These gods and goddesses…they had their own natures. She wouldn’t ask a person to change their nature, why would she expect it of another being? And being as powerful as they were, these natures could awaken or affect good or bad in each of them. For a time she blamed Frey for the terror she had endured but really, they had not done anything wrong. They had been as they were naturally. More importantly, the person who had actually attacked her was Celosia, not Frey. Frey had saved her, and it was only right that she do her best to thank them for it. So the young midwife entered the sanctuary on her own, a tremble with fear but determined to see her task through. In her hands was a little box, simple, but effective, to keep its contents fresh. Inside were little satchels she had made of herbal teas, not dissimilar from what she might give a patient. These ones specifically were crafted with the nature of this god in mind – they were aphrodisiacs. Drinking some of them would increase one’s sexual desire, others increased stamina, others increased fertility – which she wasn’t sure was Frey’s thing but fell in line with the activities they seemed to enjoy. Phoebe had been thoughtful and taken great care with these teas, just as she would for any of her patients who needed them in their efforts to have children. That was part of a midwife’s work after all. Once at the front of the Sanctuary and near the alter, she struggled to find her voice. Bravery was not the absence of fear, she reminded herself, but acting in spite of it. Frankly she didn’t know what to do, so she would give it her best shot. "Frey… I… I just wanted to thank you, for saving me from being taken advantage of by Celosia that day.” she said, her voice shaky with nervousness, but her gratitude was sincere and heartfelt. She swallowed and continued, ”I don’t fully understand you, or any other gods or goddesses – there were none where I come from – but I hope you will accept this gift as sign of my gratitude for saving me. I don’t know if you will like them but…this was all I could make and bring that I thought you might appreciate. I’m…I’m sorry it is so meager. Beings like yourself I am sure are more accustomed to more opulent offerings… And I am sorry if I am not doing this right… but I am truly grateful to you for your protection that day.” Phoebe set the box on the alter and took a step back, watching it for a moment. ”Thank you” If Frey doesn’t appear, consider this a one-post thread. Phoebe In a gentle way, you can shake the world

Frey Beholders beware, there are no safe words Well, this was a sweet gesture. Maybe. Frey didn’t really need aphrodisiacs since they didn’t just crave lust and love, they inspired it with their very being. There was no aphrodisiac greater than their presence and the feelings it could inspire in someone. But the poor girl was trying, at least, and at least it was a better offering than those empty prayers the other mortals had offered. They were learning. Slowly, far too slowly for Frey’s tastes (which were extensive, and yes, they’d admit that sometimes slower was better), but it was something. That didn’t mean they were always going to appear just because the mortals had learned a new trick. But if they were being honest, which they had no reason not to be, they adored attention. After all, Frey was the fairest of them all, by far, and as such deserved adoration. So it was only right that these mortals worship at the altar of Frey. Occasionally rewarding that behavior would probably serve the god well, not that they really thought in those terms. Of course, they couldn’t afford to be too generous. After all, withholding could be just as powerful a tool as granting a supplicants deepest, darkest desires. However, in this case, they figured there was no harm in showing up to maybe show this sweet child a good time. That would be good for her, since honestly she seemed a bit uptight. A good fuck would fix that problem right quick. Plus, she was an Accepted, so she was infinitely better company than the Ascended and the Abandoned who'd previously called them here. The room would appear to waver for a moment, before it shifted. Cushions and candles would appear, along with draping and diaphanous fabrics hanging from the ceiling. At the center of it was Frey, splayed out on a luxurious looking chaise. As always, they were beauty incarnate. This time, instead of being nude (because doing the same thing every time was boringggg) they were draped in a sheet of silk. However, instead of hiding them, it seemed to just highlight and accentuate every asset they had, which were numerous. Phoebe would again see Frey as the most pleasing form she could imagine, even if the details were a bit fuzzy. Indeed, the attraction would once again start to grow within the woman, although the being wasn’t making any particular effort this time around. It just literally was who they were, an aura they exuded. They could amplify it when they chose, but right now they were in a lazy mood. Frey’s arms were behind their head, and a bunch of grapes were hovering in the air above them. One grape broke off from the bunch and floated towards the deity’s mouth, and they ate it delicately, a moan of pleasure escaping from their lips at the delicacy. That done, they turned their head slightly to wink at Phoebe. ”Hey sweetheart. Thanks for thinking of me, but I didn’t really do it for you.” Frey’s voice came out in a wickedly sensual whisper that appeared to sound directly in the blonde’s ear, even though they weren’t close. Indeed, she'd also feel the sensation of hot breath on her neck. However, it was true they hadn’t done what they did to protect Phoebe so much as to teach that redheaded chick a lesson. Still, apparently they’d had quite the effect on the mortal. ”Grape?” They waved a languid hand and one of the grapes split off to hover before Phoebe. Adjusting the sheet on top of them, Frey considered the blonde, hungry eyes taking in every ample inch of the girl. She was pretty enough, and it was cute that she was trying to make an effort to understand them. She’d fail, obviously, and effort only counted for so much, but still. Again winking lazily at her, Frey grinned. ”Why don’t you partake in some of your offering and come over to show me exactly how grateful you are.” Phoebe would find a cup of tea in her hand, at just the right temperature. It contained one of the satchels she’d brought, but Frey had added just a little bit of their power to it. If she drank, she’d find it contained a much stronger kick than her lame aphrodisiacs did. However, Frey felt they’d already been more than generous by not smiting her somehow just for using their name (which they hadn’t given to her, so someone must have told her, which meant there were still believers out there, excellent) and for presumptuously calling upon them and making assumptions about them.

The change in the room sent a shiver down her spine, and not a good one. A familiar feeling washed over her, but it did nothing to soothe her. You see, this feeling of want and desire scared her. Lust, want, sexual desire – they weren’t things she wanted or craved. She craved and wanted love – of the pure and true sort – which she knew eventually led to this sort of a feeling but she didn’t want it to precede it. It clicked then, why she feared Frey so much. In addition to their power over humans like her, their nature scared her. Someday it might not, when and if she found love (she wasn’t uptight you see, she just wanted to love the person she gave herself to and desired), but for now, Frey’s very being caused an innate, uncontrollable negative reaction in her. Frey was Lust and Pleasure, she was Innocence and Purity, and the only place they might cross was in the feeling of Love. But love wasn’t something she could have, was it? She was overlooked by men as a whole. All she wanted personally was to have a husband to love, children to care for, a house to tend – but she wasn’t enough to catch anyone’s interest. It surprised her as her insecurities suddenly surfaced, the ones bullied into her subconscious by unkind girls her age. She wasn’t pretty enough. She wasn’t curvy enough. She was too plain. She was too poor. She was just a common, working girl with nothing to offer. No man would ever love her or want her. It scared her to think that a god whose nature incited such feelings had given her more unintended notice than any mortal man ever had. Alone, forever – was that her lot in life? Phoebe, do. Not. Cry. Slowly she turned and saw Frey laying there, in an atmosphere that frankly wasn’t dissimilar to her old clinic. It exuded comfort and warmth in a way – but was of course more effective than anything she had ever made. Frey did appear in a masculine form to her eyes, since that was what her natural inclination was, yet so indistinct that she wasn’t sure if it was from her lack of experience or an actual lack of clarity in the vision of the god. Her eyes dropped quickly, reverently. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” She said first, sincerely. Honestly, she hadn’t expect them to show up… then again she hadn’t known what to expect. But she felt she should be sorry. This was a powerful god and she a weak mortal woman – certainly she was bothersome it was only logical. Her true desire was just to thank them…though it seemed that her reasoning for thanking Frey wasn’t wanted. “Whether you did it for me or not, I still benefitted.” She said. Unlike others who beckoned gods to demand answers or simply to see if they could, Phoebe’s intent had been less selfish. Gratitude for the mercy shown, whether intended for her benefit or not, was still owed to beings of such power. The appearance of a grape surprised her and her eyes widened a bit. She took it gently but didn’t eat it – she was too nervous, her stomach tying in knots. She did not deserve to be in the presence of such a being – she was nothing by comparison. ”Thank you.” she said. If this god could sense her internal intentions, certainly her sincerity would ring clear. There were things she wanted in life, but she wanted nothing from the God, per say. That hadn’t been what this had been about. It had been intended as a quiet reverence, and she felt guilty to have misstepped. Then suddenly a cup of tea appeared in her hand, and her surprise was again obvious. Phoebe was a pretty open book to anyone observant, and she was certainly more so to the mind of a god. The beckoning of Frey made her feet move without her bidding. She thought that what Frey wanted for gratitude was some sort of sexual act – it scared her to think it the case. But you don’t love Frey and Frey wouldn’t love you even if you did and threw yourself at their feet. You’re nothing. It was the thought at the back of her mind. For her the two came hand in hand and to be expected to give one without the other was against her nature. But her nature was inferior to that of a god. She had no choice. Her gift, as well intentioned and innocent as it had been, had not been enough. Of course it wasn’t. Her best intentions weren’t enough for a mortal man, it would not be enough for a god either. The blonde knelt before Frey, chin tilted forward with her eyes cast down out of respect. She knew her place. She would not insult a god with undeserved ego or pride. Nor would she insult them by trying to lie. “I…I don’t know what you want as gratitude. I assumed once falsely and don’t wish to insult you again... and even if my new assumption is correct this time, I am sorry I don’t know how.” Phoebe was still a virgin. She had never even been kissed. She knew the mechanics of how things worked, yes, but she had no experience at all and to even attempt to give what she assumed this god wanted would be an insult to them – given it was clear they knew all and she knew nothing. Phoebe could not have even given this god what it wanted even if she wanted to because she simply had no idea what to do. Stupid girl. You’re just an insult. You can’t even thank them properly. At any rate, Frey wouldn’t need to punish her more if the god felt lazy – Phoebe was very good at punishing herself. Phoebe In a gentle way, you can shake the world

Frey Beholders beware, there are no safe words As the girl prattled on, Frey grew visibly more and more distracted. Honestly, while these mortals didn’t technically exist to entertain the gods (though they should) that didn’t mean they had to be so boring and dumb. It seemed the aphrodisiacs were the only offerings the deity was going to get today. Phoebe was a real mood killer, and they already felt their interest waning. ”Ugh. Boring. Apologies are boring. Uncertainty is boring. Insecurities are boringgggggggg. I don’t care about your pity party.” They yawned, covering their mouth with a languid hand, and then propped themselves up on one elbow, giving her an annoyed look. ”Word of advice, sweetheart? And from me, this is literally gospel. You don’t need love for lust, and vice versa, but there is nothing wrong with a good roll in the hay. And you can still maintain your innocence and purity and have perfectly fine, albeit vanilla sex, you know. It’s medicinal, practically, and as a midwife you should know all about that, shouldn’t you?” They winked. Oh yes, Frey knew all about Phoebe’s profession. While she was an open book to them, childbirth required something that Frey knew all about. They weren’t the parenting or the relationship type, obviously, but the birds and the bees and all that was definitely in their wheelhouse. ”It would do you in particular a world of good to have a good fuck.” While the explicit language might shock her, Frey thought mortals were a bit silly about their chastity. It was necessary for reproduction (and one of the biggest sources of pleasure people could have) so there was no good reason to cut it off because of meaningless ‘morals’ or ‘customs.’ Flopping on their back, they popped another grape in their mouth, closing their eyes in ecstasy. When they opened them they smirked at the girl, running their gaze up and down her body. ”You’re young, you’re fit, and you’re perfectly attractive. Only thing wrong with you is you’re stuck up about sex and you don’t put yourself out there.” Their words dripped with a mix of mocking condescension, passion, and boredom. Then again, Frey was more than convinced that Phoebe was a bit of an idiot, to have come pray here to this particular deity without being willing to be open to the idea of some fun. But alas, it seemed this crop of people was just as silly as the previous generations. Disappointing, really. And they kept getting Frey wrong. Honestly, this whole nonsense was getting quite tiresome. That was making the god quite cross. ”I don’t take the unwilling.” Rolling their eyes, they waved their hand in the air. ”Willing, kinky, and pleasurable, yes. But it’s as clear as day, especially to me, that you’re not ready.” Giving her a calculated look, Frey decided to make a gamble. It almost certainly wouldn’t pay off, but they were a being of power, so they could afford it. ”But if you go out there and show me I’m wrong, maybe I’ll think of some suitable reward.” If not, if Phoebe didn’t want that (which, given their interactions to date, she wouldn’t), then Frey didn’t really know what was keeping them here. But the degree of repression in the woman was remarkable, and it grated on Frey’s nerves. Any chance the deity could take to intervene and make improvements in Phoebe’s life (and, by extension, make this child into a potential lifelong follower), the better. But it would never work if she didn’t go out there and screw someone’s brains out.

Frey's words cut through the internal self-hate Phoebe was feeling like a hot knife through butter. She stared at the god, golden-brown eyes wide with surprise. Boring? She was boring? Phoebe thought a lot of things about herself but boring wasn't one of them. She worried her lower lip, gripping her tea cup just a little tighter. The tiniest pinprick of irritation tickled the back of her mind. But boring was a matter of perspective. Frey might know whatever they wanted about her, but they only knew what they looked for. They didn't know all about her. Not yet anyways. Or so she thought. She could be wrong and knew that too. The god related the topic to her work and her expression went from shock to contemplative. It was very true - she did know in a sense that sex was actually very helpful for lots of things when done properly, where it was enjoyable for those involved. It could relieve aches and pains, it could aid in inducing and reducing paind during childbirth, and it was incredibly important in maintaining connection between a couple; and a well connected couple made for a better family unit which was what she tried to help promote in her work. She couldn't count the number of times she asked her patients that were having issues with their husbands during their pregnancy when the last time they had been intimate was. Phoebe could also agree that one's personality and one's sexlife weren't necessarily one and the same (even if Frey's way of wording that was a bit mean). But it made her wonder a bit...would hers be vanilla and boring like this god thought? She truly didn't know. She had no clue in this world or any other. There was literally nothing for her to go on to know. And was that really so bad? Yes. Yes it was. She wanted a husband and children. This topic was literally necessary if she was going to have either. The god assumed she wouldn't like the curse word - and she didn't - but the phrase itself, the meaning, made her giggle. Yes, friends. Phoebe laughed when Frey said she could use a good fuck. "I'm sorry." She said trying to stifle the giggle, though it wasn't really an apology. It was more of a knee-jerk phrase for her. Some people said 'like' between every word. Phoebe apologized a lot. "But my teacher always told me that. 'Phoebe, you can't call yourself a master midwife if you haven't had an orgasm that makes you forget what day of the week it is! You don't know what you are recommending!'" She said, wagging her finger at herself like the older midwife at done to her near daily once she had come of age at 16. Phoebe managed to get ahold of her giggles. She had a feeling her old teacher and Frey would've had a grand time heckling her about her very absent sex life. Then Frey was back to the insulting truth. She did blush at the compliments they started with. Not very many people complimented her looks. But the good feeling from getting the compliment was quickly replaced with that hint of irritatjon again. Stuck up about sex. No that wasn't...it wasn't exactly right. She just....she was....well she couldn't help that very stingy morals had been beat into her brain! 'What man wants a slut for a wife' she had heard on more than one occassion in finishing school. But if she was being honest with herself, she didn't put herself out there. That was completely true. The longer she went on like that the more...scared she became. It made the build up worse. What if's were very powerful in an overthinker's brain. But the god seemed intent on shocking her into understanding. I don't take the unwilling. Again she stared wide-eyed for a moment, realization dawning over her. The god might think her stupid but she was actually quite clever when she had a bit to go on. Frey wasn't a god of mindless sex. Frey was more...a god of pleasure. But not just pleasure for one, pleasure for all, so force or coercion wouldn't fall in line. Phoebe had never really been in danger with Celosia because if she had been forceful it would have been contrary to Frey, it would not have honored what the god represented. She probably wasn't wholly right, but she thought she was much closer to the truth than she had been before. In an instant, with that single bit of knowledge, the majority of her fear dissipated. Not all, Frey was still incredibly powerful and she respected that - which came with a healthy dose of fear. But so long as she learned and respected, it seemed the god had just enough patience to leave her in one piece. Then the challenge. Frey didn't think she was ready, but made an offer that she could prove them wrong. Phoebe paused, considering the meaning. She was a thinker, not prone to a rash decision. She wanted a family of her own. A husband and children. That meant somewhere, some part of her was ready, right? Yes. You want love and passion and share that side of you with someone who will return it. You're tired of being lonely, Phoebe. "Alright. I will. I will prove you wrong." she said, the slightest tremble in her voice. But something in her shifted. She was a Steadman, and all Steadman's had steel in their spines. Her's was just surrounded by a lot of kind, fluffy, lightness. "It might take a try or two but I will prove you wrong. And I will correct anyone who think or speak falsely of you while I am at it." she said, determination now coming through as she spoke. She would prove she was more than a nervous, shy girl. She would prove she could be and was more than that. Phoebe In a gentle way, you can shake the world

Frey Beholders beware, there are no safe words Yeah, actually, Frey did know all about her: at the very least they knew everything that was important to know, which was that Phoebe was alone and no one wanted her. Plus, she was kind of whiney. All that added up to very, very boring. Indeed, the deity was already kind of regretting offering her this chance at all, but it was too late for that now. Besides, it would be fun to watch her struggle at least. She seemed really fixated on this whole husband and children thing (ugh how plain Jane of her) and Frey had already given her way too much free advice. Well, not, free, cause she’d given an offering or whatever, but the gods weren’t in the habit of giving stuff to mortals just because. Well, Frey wasn’t at least. The other gods (obviously) had their own way of doing things. Honesty, Frey had already tuned the woman out, their mind turning to other matters. At the comment about her teach, they gave her a look that communicated just how much they didn’t want to be there anymore. ”Your teacher sounds like a fucking weirdo.” Which, granted, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially in Frey’s books. However, the midwife telling her apprentice that struck even this god as odd. Yawning again as Phoebe once again tried to do that self-reflection thing mortals were so fond of (honestly, gods had it so much better, what with knowing their divine natures intuitively and all that), Frey winked as the blonde finally realized that yes, the deity wasn’t sex (or wasn’t just sex), but so much more than that. Perhaps if they’d just come straight out and said it to begin with a lot of problems could’ve been avoided, but it wasn’t their way, and the gods in general weren’t in the habit of explaining themselves to mortals. Why would they, when the gods were just, well, better? They didn’t need to justify themselves or their actions to anyone, especially to such lowly creatures. At least she finally agreed to the challenge laid out. Grinning seductively, Frey sat up and blew Phoebe a kiss. ”Come find me once you’ve cum.” Laughing delightedly at their own joke, Frey vanished, taking everything they’d brought with them and the aphrodisiacs when they did. However this ended up, it would be entertaining for all involved. Assuming, of course, Phoebe did it right, which they had their doubts about.