[SE] frozen hearts
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
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#1



loren
After the trauma of Fiat Lux, and everything that followed, Loren had retreated from the world. Oh sure, he still showed up, still healed, still rebuilt what he could, still comforted the survivors. But the joy he’d just begun to find had slipped through his fingers like grains of sand, and he'd reclaimed the mask he'd worn, the one that took him through tough times.

Inside, though, he was cold and empty as the ice (his ice, a dark and quiet voice whispered) that had claimed too, too many lives.

So when he'd received the invitation from Jigano to go do some more exploring of Halo, the summoner had stirred himself into motion. They were flying over the Sea of Glass as it was known, the ice reflecting the harsh sun with blinding rays that bounced up at them. The Launceleyn was a goose, the white-haired man a dragon. Despite the season, it was still cold, though at least this form was insulated from the worst of it.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
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#2
No one had come through Fiat Lux unwounded. Though the outward injuries on the survivors would accept magical interference had mostly been Healed and the rest were in the care of the Medical College, there had been too many gouges ripped in hearts and souls for anyone to say they were truly recovered. The healers and medics who had lost patients as they bled out in their arms were no exceptions to that, and in many cases were left with lingering trauma beyond even those who had lost loved ones.

And then there were those who had lost both.

Who Healed the Healer? Loren had brought Jigano around in the midst of the madness, and now that it had subsided the bard reached out to his friend, trying to offer distraction and a change of scenery, something to draw the mage from the shell he had begun rebuilding around himself once more. It was a mask all too familiar to the Provost, and it was one he realized only now, seeing it on someone else, how much it hurt to watch one he cared for don.

Someplace distant from the Hollowed Grounds and the constant reminders of the recent deaths there. Someplace new to them both, brutal and lethal in its own way but fresh to them - at least for the moment. Someplace unsullied by innocent blood they hadn't been able to save.

Jigano stretched his wings, eyes slitted mostly closed to block the sun's glare as they winged over snow and blue, blue ice, flying slow and lazily so the goose could keep up. Strange, for there to be no warmth even in summer, he mused to his friend before drawing a metaphorical breath. Would you... tell me what happened? To Remi and... Aoife? Rumors had swirled like wildfire, but this was the first time he truly had the chance to speak to someone who had been there, while he and Amalia had been failing to save a falling Temple.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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#3



loren
Loren didn’t respond to Jigano's comment about the warmth (or lack thereof) of Halo in Longheat. At the question about the aftermath of the monster's attack at Fiat Lux, the summoner glanced over at the bard, before the Launceleyn turned his gaze to the distant horizon. Remi was impaled by an enormous shard of ice. As was Aoife. I wasn't there when it happened, but from what I understand, she died instantly, and he was close to death. As closed off as he was, all the white-haired man would get was echoes of a bone-deep ache and exhaustion.

He was only partially healed, so I continued the job. When he was well enough, he ripped out his throat and ripped open his stomach, trying to kill himself. I restrained him, and healed him again. As Loren paused, the first glimmers of sorrow would finally leak through their bond. He looked at me with such...hatred in his eyes. And then he and Aoife disappeared.

He pumped his wings for a while, letting the silence settle between them. What happened at the Temple? There was no bright curiosity in his mind, just a blunt question. And what do I need to know about Longheat?
Never judge a book by its cover.
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
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#4
Great silver wings faltered in their beating as the bald recounting of Aoife's death and Remi's impaling. Rumors... but hearing it from Loren made it real, even if it was third-hand yet again. But then the summoner spoke again, this time of first-hand knowledge, and only the gliding provided by locked wing joints kept the dragon from stumbling from the sky at the news of Remi trying to rip out his own throat. Gods... he breathed, choked by the image Loren's words conjured. His grief must have driven him as mad as Ronin's had, sent him spiraling into a desire to join Aoife in death...

Or perhaps there was something else going on there, something more that he would never understand. Either way a croon of loss reached mournfully across the icy waste below them.

Sharing information was what Loreseekers did, and Jigano sighed as he recovered his balance to continue on. Ronin... tried to destroy it. He must have seen Remi and Aoife or... I don't know. But he was determined to make the gods pay for his loss and he was trying to destroy the Shrine in it. Amalia, Wessex, Sam, Amun... we gathered to try and stop him. Distract him. Get him out and somewhere he could do less harm but... A flicker of despair made it through the bond, grief and guilt and regret that Loren would likely recognize after his own belated destruction of the mud monster. Someone called the Voice, and she struck him down, but he kept going. Then Safrin came and... and he disappeared. The Voice swept the Ascended out somehow and then... it was just Amalia and I. She was... she was hurt badly, Loren. Badly enough that even Healing magic couldn't fix it all. A shudder shook the dragon, a sense of helplessness and targetless anger that he was, over and over again, useless to those he wished most to help.

He flew on in silence for a while, shifting their flight path to head towards an odd, bluish-green spot in the ice to the west. Loren's other question was a good one, an important one, but it was difficult to change mental direction so fast when the previous answer had been so full of emotion that he was still trying to bottle back up.

Longheat... he began tentatively after a while. Longheat is a time of drought and wildfire. There are flinthoppers - grasshopper-like creatures - that can create sparks by rubbing their legs together, which can set the dry fields and woodlands ablaze. But there are bloatbeetles, too, filled with water that can be used to douse small blazes before they grow too large. The Fae have a tradition this time of year, of 'capturing the sun' to appease Safrin and let the long days and short nights remain a while longer, to stave off the return of LongNight. It hadn't worked before, but the goddess had appeared and been appeased, at least.

She was going to need a lot of appeasing this year, from what he'd seen in the Temple.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
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#5



loren
Loren fell silent as Jigano recounted the events at the Temple. Gods is right. There was an incredibly deep well of sorrow and exhaustion underlying the summoner’s thoughts, and he quickly walled it off from the bard. I hadn’t heard about Amalia. That’s awful. I’ll have to check in with her, and with the records at the Medical College. Maybe they’ll have knowledge there that might help. Pausing, a trickle of the Launceleyn's grief filtered through the bond. Magic isn't always enough.

As he noticed the white-haired man shifting course, Loren angled to follow, spotting the shape in the distance that must've caught Jigano's eye. The summoner listened intently to the bard's explanation of the new season, though the joy of learning was gone from the Launceleyn, snuffed out as easily as any candle. I imagine I can handle any small blazes on my own, but thanks for the heads up. How would capturing the sun appease Safrin? There was almost a fanatical edge to the question.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
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#6
I've been looking at the records in the Atheneum, too, Jigano said, trying to wrestle the despair he felt back into his chest. He wasn't sure what Loren could do that his own magic couldn't, but... perhaps there would be something. We still have many of Isla's records, and some of Vai's, as well as the others I've been gathering since I arrived. It was her spine that was damaged. I was able to put her arms back together and heal her organs, but her spine... the bones are back in place, but the connections wouldn't grow back, no matter how much power I poured into her. He shuddered, and it had nothing to do with the cold as he sent of a pulse of acknowledgment back through the bond at Loren's grief and words. No, he agreed. It's not.

The shift in color was curious enough to draw his attention and angle their flight path towards it, though it was some distance away yet. That was fine with the dragon, since it gave him time to repress and think on the distraction Loren had offered, sharing an answer that was incomplete but hopefully enough to pique the other man's interest through their shared depression. Safrin's name was not a particularly welcome one in the bard's mind at the moment, but with the season dedicated to her he could hardly avoid mentioning the star-eyed goddess, and a sigh huffed through the bond as he considered his response. If only they were small, he sent through the bond, a sense of a grimace in his mental tone. But the Fae legend has it that if we can capture the sun we can trap it and hold it to keep the days long, and we can keep it bright enough to keep LongNight at bay. We appease Safrin so that she will stay dreaming, thinking the night is not yet come and so not make the days shorter again to bring back the winter. He grew silent for a little while, remembering gentler days, when he had been so giddy in the love of his friends, before complications and misunderstandings had muddied the waters and pulled them apart. The most common way to capture the sun is in a basket, but you can do it any way you please. Capture a figurative sun, or figuratively capture the real thing, if only for a moment. For Safrin there are songs to keep her 'sleeping' or offerings of figurative suns to 'trick' her into staying asleep. It is something of a game for all but... this year... This year, no one was in much mood for games of any kind.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
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#7



loren
Loren's sorrow grew as he listened to Jigano's explanation of Amalia's injuries. I’ll talk to the rest of the Medical College, see what they know about spinal injuries. There was very little hope behind the summoner's mind, but more than a little bit of desperation.

At the bard's story, or legend, or tradition, or whatever it was, the Launceleyn tried to muster some curiosity, but all he came up with was resignation. I take it that hasn't worked in years past. Pausing, he pumped his wings, readjusting his course towards their new destination. Do you think anything would appease her this year, after what happened at the Temple? The thought was dark.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
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#8
Jigano sent a feeling of muted agreement back. He was no Isla, but he had a working knowledge of non-magical medical first aid, both from his world and from the capable Duchess's teachings. Spines were far from his forte, but he had a sense that the best thing for Amalia was rest and time for her body to rebuild itself beyond what magic could do on its own.

Given his own fierce guilt and remorse he could hardly blame Loren for a black mood and lack of enthusiasm. He was just glad the other man had been willing to join him in the flight today as they skimmed over white snow occasionally broken by stretches of deep blue where the wind had cleared it from the ice beneath. The odd greenish spot ahead was grown closer, beginning to resolve into a more broken area of the landscape. A central area was nearly black, while paler blue and green color variations surrounded it.

Not last year, at least, the dragon agreed with an inner sigh. Though at least the Fae never had to deal with the LongNight monsters. The destruction and terror... The burning and death. Death that now tainted a new season, even before they had finished mourning those lost to the past one. A chuffing noise escaped the silver beast's jaws, not quite a laugh for it held no humor. The Voice's head on a platter? he suggested, just as darkly. Perhaps rebuilding the Temple and Shrine would be a good start, though. Singing her praises, offering star-themed items or foods with care put into their making to her shrine. These sorts of things. I suspect anything we offer will be disdained but... He couldn't easily shrug while flying, but there was the sense of it in the bond. Not doing anything at all will likely make her temper worse. He brooded in silence for a moment before adding: And though I doubt any of us will much feel like another celebration after... Fiat Lux... the Fae do throw a Midnight Party towards the longest day of the year. Last year all were welcome, so long as you brought a gift to give to someone. A friend, a loved one, a stranger... your choice. Last year he had made his Midnight Party gift with Caiside. The loss of his friend still stung, even with the newer griefs of those who had died more recently.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#9



loren
The strange patch of color was growing clearer, but Loren's goose eyes weren't as sharp as that of some birds (mostly the predatory ones) so he couldn't make it out just yet. We should write up what we know about LongNight and present it to Neron. As Jigano made his suggestion, the summoner's mood darkened, if such a thing were possible. Didn't really work out so great last time you opposed her.

Then he gave the mental equivalent of a sigh. Sorry. That was totally uncalled for. My temper is...well. Let's just say it's fraying, and there are very few outlets for it. But you didn't deserve that. His thoughts and his mind truly were apologetic.

Besides, we can't do anything about The Voice until we find out where she's keeping the souls of the Ascended. It came out almost matter-of-factly, and more than a bit distractedly. As for Safrin, I'll make as many offerings as I can. But I'm not her favorite, so I doubt it'll do much good.

He flew in silence for a long moment. As loathe as I am to attend more festivities, I still think we need to repair our relationship with the Fae. So if they invite me, I'll be there with a present. There was an almost angry undercurrent to the Launceleyn's words, until he cut himself off almost entirely from the bard. However, the images of the fight with the mud monster, and the horrifying aftermath flickered through Loren's mind.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
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Posts: 3,914 | Total: 7,219
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#10
The suggestion might have been a good one, but Jigano paused at the lash of Loren's mental voice a moment later, silence resounding through the mental bond as his defenses snapped up to shield the gut-wrenching twist of fear and anger that reminder still struck through him. Before he could quite decide on how to respond - whether silence was golden, or whether he should reach out to the goose-mage, knowing the guilt that had to be eating at him - Loren was already apologizing, and the dragon gave a low, reassuring croon. I understand, he thought back, tone gentle. It was a poor joke on my part. For the moment it was all he said, letting the conversation shift past and putting the slip from his mind. Loren hadn't meant it, and his apology had been sincere. For the bard, at least, it was water under the bridge.

Mmm. Given that she's a god, she might not be keeping them any'where' mortals can reach. Just like Ludo and Safrin have spaces beyond the reach of mortal hands without invitation, it seems like something the Voice would have, too. That would be the safest place to store her children's souls, to keep them away from the other gods. He paused, thoughts taking an uncomfortable turn as he considered his last few conversations with Sam and Rex. Though... much as I hate to say it... if those souls chose her willingly and want to be with her, does anyone have the right to steal them away again? It was said reluctantly, the words dragged from churning thoughts as he considered the consequences and repercussions of such an act.

I might be less of a favorite than you are, the dragon opined dryly as he beat great wings lazily, shifting to fly forward of the goose, letting Loren ride the slipstream of air from his flight. The greenish cast to the ice was growing clearer now: a great hole broken in the surface of ice that seemed impossibly thick. From the great, broken blocks of greenish ice cast up upon the snow around the wound it seemed as though something massive had broken the surface a day or two before, though there was no sign of it now except the scar that was already freezing back over under Halo's brutal conditions. Chunks of ice bigger than a man were piled in the snow around the edges or had fallen back in where they bobbed in the dark waters, keeping the returning ice in the open area from quite catching them in its embrace again, at least for a few hours more.

Yes, Jigano agreed quietly on the relationship with the Fae. I sent Tarasha to our booth to play the riddle game in hopes that they'd join us... he trailed off, a sense of a sigh breezing through the bond. Do you want to talk about it? What happened? he asked gently at last.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
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#11



loren
Loren pulsed understanding at Jigano’s comment about where The Voice might be keeping the souls. However, the summoner couldn’t help but sigh mentally. It’s only a fair deal if they knew what they were getting into. And some of the Outlanders never had a choice. A hot burst of anger flared up before he stifled it.

As the strange colors were revealed to be a hole in the ice, he banked, flying in a wide circle, eyes straining for whatever had broken through. There was none, thankfully and he soon found himself distracted by the white-haired man’s questions about Fiat Lux. Tarasha joined.

Then the Launceleyn found himself falling silent for a long moment. I failed. We all failed, and as a result of my failures, Aofie, Rhett, Cormac, Jax, and many others died, Remi almost died and tried to kill himself in my arms, Ronin went insane, and then Remi, Ronin, and Aoife disappeared to only the gods know where. We don’t even know if they’re alive. The Launceleyn’s mind was a toxic mix of guilt, fury, and despair, though only a little bit of it bled through the bond.

Still, even a little bit was enough. So I’m not sure what to talk about, or say. Or do, beyond trying to help those who are left.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
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Posts: 3,914 | Total: 7,219
MP: 10170
#12
It was hard to argue for the other side when he agreed so strongly with Loren's words and the anger that came with them, agreement that echoed through the Attuned bond as the dragon tilted his wings around the hole in the ice, following its edges as they spoke. What will you do if you find the Ascended souls? he asked instead, following the trail of what-ifs and future plans as a momentary distraction from the past that they couldn't change.

It was only a moment, though. Only delaying the inevitable. Tarasha's official membership in the Loreseekers was a brief flicker of relief and joy that was quickly washed away by the cost of that day, so much heavier than anyone could be expected to bear alone. The litany of loss and the recap of the day's tragedies were as familiar to Jigano as his own heartbeat, though the names of Phoebe's nephews added to the mix brought a stir of shock and unhappiness. He turned leisurely on a wing tip, dropping a little below Loren's height and then stroking the air swiftly, coming up beneath the goose with a gentle croon of reassurance, so Loren could rest on his shoulders if he wanted to. You move too quickly from 'we' to 'my', he said, understanding in his mental voice. It is as much mine and Remi and Ronin's failures for not going to fight the monster, too. It is all of our faults, for not seeing it coming and moving to stop it sooner. At least you tried. He sighed, a gust of cool air that was downright toasty compared to Halo's frigid summer. I do not know what to say, either. But... I do not want you to think you are alone, or that your pain is not seen. If there is some way I can help ease your heart, I would like to try.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
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#13



loren
Loren’s response was swift and certain. I’ll return them to the Ascended. And if they choose to give them back to The Voice, that is their prerogative.

At Jigano’s words, something broke. You can’t It burst out of the summoner on a sea of anguish. You can try. But you will fail, just like I did. Like I always do. His wings beat furiously as he refused the emotional and physical support the bard offered, rising and moving away from the white-haired man and the hole in the ice.

The ice that suddenly transported the Launceleyn back to that fateful day. It was my ice that killed Aoife. That killed Phoebe’s nephews. That almost killed Remi, and drove Ronin over the edge. That caused all of this, however inadvertently. Bile roiled in his gut. You didn’t see the look in Remi’s eyes. The hatred. For me. I can't say he was wrong to feel that way.

Still, for a brief moment, fury overtook him. However, it was soon subsumed by sorrow, and a deep seated self-hatred, one that he’d never known how to reckon with. Which was why he tried to bottle it up before eventually failing, leading him to lash out. But now it spilled through their bond and he couldn’t control it, though at least it was directed inward.

They were my friends, once upon a time. And now they’re gone, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see them again, or if it would even be good to see them again at this point. After everything I did. After everything they’ve lost. I wouldn’t want to see me, if I were them. He started to lose altitude. I know I fucked everything up when I got sick, and I made a mess of things when I returned. And I can’t even imagine their grief right now, if they still live. But I’m trying, just like you. I’m trying so hard to do the right thing, to be there for other people, to be what they need me to be. He started flying blindly, uncaring where he went, just needing to escape.

All my life I’ve tried. To be strong enough, to be smart enough, to be brave enough, to be powerful enough. To be...enough. Enough to protect what I hold dear. To do what I thought needed to be done. Despair overtook him, still steering him without direction over the ice. And everything in my life, in the three worlds I've been in, every single thing that matters has taught me that I'm never going to be enough.

He fell silent for a long time. So maybe it's time to stop trying. The emotions had been bottled up again, safely stored behind the mask he knew better than his real face, his real skin, his real self. His flight path straightened, though he was now headed back to the mountains, towards the portal that would lead them home.

If it could ever be properly thought of as his home again.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
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#14
Jigano stayed silent on the plan, confused but sensing that now was not the time to offer criticism for once. Given how zealously the Ascended he knew seemed to follow the Voice he suspected they would just turn around and give the souls right back, and would be more angry at Loren for it... but that was a talk for another time.

Besides, being told that he would fail no matter what he did struck a deep, wounded chord within the bard who already struggled with the depth of his many failures, but the cry of pain within Loren's tone kept him from flinching as he rose up beneath the goose with strong, sure strokes of his wings, staying close enough to catch his friend should he falter. He let Loren speak, let the emotions flow and take the summoner where they would, and he simply flew and listened, letting the Launceleyn let some of that bottled up pain out for a moment.

A far too brief moment. He was Loren's shadow, flying just beneath him wherever grey-feathered wings took them, whether flying blind or with purpose, descending or holding steady in the distance-eating glide both of their bodies were capable of. He accepted the other man's vulnerability, feeling the echoes of similarity in his own twisted martyr complex and fear of failure; the despair that could overwhelm and drown a man after too many tragedies and good intentions that had backfired in every way possible.

He had been there before, several times within the past year. Then, there had been Amalia and Rory to catch him when he faltered and help him put the pieces back together again. He didn't know if he could help Loren in such way - not if the Launceleyn didn't want to be helped - but he had changed too much in the past year to simply let the other man be.

You can no more stop trying to help people, to care for them, than you can stop breathing, he said thoughtfully after a time of contemplative silence. It would kill the man that you are just as surely. And you have done too much to be your own soul to give up now and become just another Zariah Launceleyn with better looks. Silver wings beat as he surged ahead for a moment so he could snake his sinuous neck over his shoulder to look at the goose. Besides. If you try and fail to protect the people you care about, at least you did try. How much worse the guilt you would feel if you didn't try at all... and they were killed or injured anyways?

He snorted and righted himself again as he let his speed slow, drifting back beneath his friend once more, letting the affection he had begun to feel for his friend fill the bond. Also, for all that you've lived through, for all your pain and trauma and experience... you're still growing in power and wisdom and cleverness, Loren Launceleyn. Do not sell your future self so short before you've even met him yet. Mourn and rage for what you cannot change. I cannot take your guilt from you. But I will be here when you're ready to give the world another chance.


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