bury me in satin
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,963
MP:
#1
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
Amalia hates the infirmary.

The acrid stench of cleaning supplies, the endless rows of white sheets and beds, the captivity behind the sterile facade- she hates it with a deep, feral loathing.

Or she would, had she the energy to do so.

It takes enough energy just to open her eyes; mustering up the strength to feel loathing is far beyond her capability. No, what Amalia feels as she lies in her bed and stares at the ceiling through blank, black eyes is not anger, or fear, or sadness, or loss.

Just like her legs that refuse to move, Amalia feels numb.
i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
'Til there's nothing left inside my soul
Amalia
Adam Pikely
Swashbuckler

Age: 29 | Height: 6'3" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 4 - Strg: 16 - Dext: 18 - Endr: 14 - Luck: 16
COFFEE - Mythical - Dragon (Firebreathing)
Played by: Ryan Offline
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Posts: 759
MP:
#2
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels

Fiat Lux had ended in disaster, but Adam had counted himself lucky that he nor anyone he loved had been hurt in the chaos; as far as he knew, everyone he cared for was safe, had escaped - Amalia included.

So when he heard that she was in the infirmary, hurt after being trapped under the rubble of the temple after a Demi-God had a funny five minutes, his heart stopped. With shaking hands and barely-moving lips he had managed to ask "...Is...is she alive?"

For now, the answer had been. Before they'd even had a chance to finished the words he'd shifted and flown off in the direction of the infirmary, trying his best not to look at the destructed mess of the temple on the way, worried he might somehow see his best friend there, laid like a discarded doll along the stones.

Nurses yelling at the bird zipping in through the door, he turned human as soon as he saw Amalia laying on the bed, smacking hard down on his knees. He didn't care. All that mattered was seeing her, knowing she was okay, knowing she'd be there for all the adventures they had yet to take.

Too distressed to even give one of his usual jokes, Adam scrambled up and came around to the edge of Amalia's bed, going to hold her hand without thinking. "Ama. Ama, it's me. Adam." As if that wasn't painfully obvious; he could see her eyes were open, at least. "Are you okay? ...No, thats stupid. I..oh, fuck, I'm..." Unable to summon proper words, Adam leaned forward with his elbows on the bed, almost in tears as he clutched her hand tighter.

But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean









Please note Adam has 5 large scars across his neck and chin.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,963
MP:
#3
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
There is a fervor of activity somewhere far away (anywhere outside her bed is far away), but Amalia does not turn to look at it, her curious nature dimmed by pain. She continues to stare up at the ceiling through the hubbub of nurses calling out indignantly; it is only when a figure appears beside her and takes her hand that she turns her head, confusion written across her features as Adam's face swims into view.

Had he flown in, or is she still dreaming?

Her fingers are limp in embrace, but at least it does not hurt when he touches them - not too much, anyway. Or maybe it does and she simply cannot tell beneath the nagging ache that is everything else, her body healed enough to function but not enough to ease the searing agony that exists everywhere except her legs.

Shifting her head on the scratchy pillow, Amalia turns back to the ceiling. Gone is her usual animation, the expressive face, the empathetic smile. "Hundreds are dead, Ronin tried to kill me, a building collapsed on me, and I can't feel my legs. So, you know. Been worse." The Shield's eyes are dull as she shrugs, wincing at the motion, her voice blank.

Turning back to look at Adam, the baker manages a hollow smile. "At least I'm not dead again." Though something in her tone absolutely suggests that she doesn't see death as the worse option right now.
i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
'Til there's nothing left inside my soul
Amalia
Adam Pikely
Swashbuckler

Age: 29 | Height: 6'3" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 4 - Strg: 16 - Dext: 18 - Endr: 14 - Luck: 16
COFFEE - Mythical - Dragon (Firebreathing)
Played by: Ryan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 759
MP:
#4
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels

Amalia's flat eyes and monotone voice, the way she seemed to move so slowly, as if tons of weight were crushing down on her shoulders...it all tugged at Adam's heart, yet there was still a flicker of hope. As dull as it was said, her words could have been interpreted as something close to a joke.

As long as she was joking, there was a chance it'd work out. With a deep breath, Adam got up and found a chair, dragged it over to the side of the bed to sit on - even with his flair for the dramatics, he couldn't stay knelt by her bed for too long without her actually being dead. Otherwise, it was just embarrassing.

"So...where's Ronin at, right now? I've got two friends he might like to meet." Adam asked, hands going to the guns on his hips. He was kidding, except that he wasn't. "Please tell me the fucker is paying for this somewhere. I don't give a shit what happened at Fiat Lux. It had fuck all to do with you and you shouldn't have to pay for it. What a cunt." Nose wrinkled up, Adam looked two moments away from spitting on the floor at the thought of Ronin now.

But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean









Please note Adam has 5 large scars across his neck and chin.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,963
MP:
#5
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
He releases her hand and Amalia feels cold, as though some tether to the world had been severed by the harmless act. Gaze trained upward on the all-too-familiar ceiling, she listens to the sound of the chair scraping on stone as the scene she just escapes replays on a loop through her tired brain. If only she had stopped him, if only she had noticed the stone, if only if only if only...

Sighing, the Shield shuts her eyes. "It wasn't his fault," she says unconvincingly, too tired to argue any further. "And I don't know where he went. Apparently Safrin came while I was unconscious and took him... somewhere." And left us behind, she does not add, but there is bitterness in her alto voice.

Cracking another mirthless smirk, the baker winces as she shakes her head. "It's my own fault I didn't get out in time. I was too busy being sentimental about the building to realize it was falling around my ears."
i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
'Til there's nothing left inside my soul
Amalia
Adam Pikely
Swashbuckler

Age: 29 | Height: 6'3" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 4 - Strg: 16 - Dext: 18 - Endr: 14 - Luck: 16
COFFEE - Mythical - Dragon (Firebreathing)
Played by: Ryan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 759
MP:
#6
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels

Amalia's eyes slowly went back to the ceiling and Adam could almost see them glaze over as she was lost again in her own mind - gently he took her hand again, hoping she might look over; he could not face the loss of his friend like this. He felt if he could just get her to share one smile with him, or even just keep his gaze for a while, he had a chance of saving her.

"He decided to go and start it, didn't he? I think it's pretty much his fault." Adam grumpily insisted, unable to find much sympathy within himself for Ronin. It seemed as well that Safrin, whom he was currently fond of, was about to hit his shit list - she had left Amalia? "She...didn't take you? But she took him, after he fucked it all up? The fuck?" If there was one thing Adam was good at, it was complaining about injustice.

As she blamed herself, Adam shook his head and reached forward a hand to gently touch Amalia's jaw, turn her towards him. "Hey. No. This is not your fault. And you know what else? We're gonna sort it out. Me and you and your big boyfriend and all your friends. We'll work out how to make it better, cos you deserve it."

But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean









Please note Adam has 5 large scars across his neck and chin.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,963
MP:
#7
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
She shakes her head at the comment about Safrin, wincing as her neck twinges with a note of pain. "I was stupid. I shouldn't have gone back in, and then... everyone else got out without help. Well-" Remembering the crackling electricity, Amalia frowns. "The Ascended may have been helped. But Jigano was fine. I was just..." The lingering silence that follows says it all. Slow. Weak. Stupid. Useless.

Her jaw tenses beneath Adam's fingers, but the hard glint in her eyes is a poor facsimile of true apathy. Behind the flint is a flood of distress, too many feeling to sort and examine, and under all that there is tired. Tired of trying. Tired of failing. Tired of not being enough.

Searching Adam's face, the girl sighs wearily. "It feels like I'm in a nightmare," she admits softly. "Like I'll wake up from this at any minute. Everything was... it was fine, hours ago. I mean, I was- Deimos was- we-!" Her voice breaks in a strangled sob, one hand falling weakly to her pocket. It emerges with metal glinting between shaking fingers, the light catching the pretty thing and reflecting it like mockery. "We were going to get married," Amalia whispers, staring at the ring. "And now I'm only half a person. Who would want to marry that?"
i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
'Til there's nothing left inside my soul
Amalia
Adam Pikely
Swashbuckler

Age: 29 | Height: 6'3" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 4 - Strg: 16 - Dext: 18 - Endr: 14 - Luck: 16
COFFEE - Mythical - Dragon (Firebreathing)
Played by: Ryan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 759
MP:
#8
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels

"Unlucky. It happens." Adam finished for her, wishing he could have been at the temple at the time Ronin had decided to go insane. He'd been too busy at the festival, trying to reunite children and their parents (how odd, for him, to have missed an event because of altruism, not being drunk in a gutter. He really had grown up), to go and check out every odd loud noise in the town.

His fingers gently left her face once she turned to look to him, but he did not release her hand. All of a sudden she fell into a much more honest, open despair and he shook his head, took in a breath as he stroked her fingers with his thumb. Eyes widened in surprise at the sudden reveal of her engagement, but not because he felt it was undeserved - he had just not known how serious her relationship with Deimos had been.

Slowly, he reached for the hand with the ring in it and closed her fingers over it, indicating she should hold onto it. "Y'know, this is all I'm gonna say to all that: Congratulations. Cos you're gonna get married. You're twenty times someone else Ama, you know that? So what if you're minus a couple legs? Shit, someone married me when you could see my jawbone." He tried to laugh, but it came out short and awkward, not much more than a breath.

"Have you spoken to Deimos? Cos I'm sure he'd be like..." Unable to resist doing a little bit of an impression, Adam furrowed his brow and pouted his lips, trying to look tough. "I love you, Amalia. Leg, no leg. Marry, we will."

But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean









Please note Adam has 5 large scars across his neck and chin.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,963
MP:
#9
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
His larger hand covers hers and the ring, closing trembling fingers around the band. Exhaling softly, Amalia does not really try to hide the tears that well once more at the corners of her eyes, leaving tracks in the dirt that still covers her face. The metal feels cool and comforting within her palm, and gods, she wants to believe it will be okay.

Amalia hadn't thought herself currently capable of laughter, but Adam's impression surprises a burst of amusement from the girl. Immediately she winces, pressing her hand to her bruised ribs, but the damage is done: despite her pain Amalia is softened, brightened in a way only Adam could have pulled off.

Catching her breath, she shakes her head. "He was there. Not during, but... After. He brought me here. He's probably around somewhere, helping with the injured." Her expression falters again as she remembers the carnage, the broken bodies, the lungs that will never breathe again, the hearts that will never mend.

She licks dry lips and swallows, hard. "At the festival... Do you know how .. how many?"
i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
'Til there's nothing left inside my soul
Amalia
Adam Pikely
Swashbuckler

Age: 29 | Height: 6'3" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 4 - Strg: 16 - Dext: 18 - Endr: 14 - Luck: 16
COFFEE - Mythical - Dragon (Firebreathing)
Played by: Ryan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 759
MP:
#10
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels

As Amalia finally laughed Adam felt relief cascade through him, bringing tears to his eyes and filling his heart with joy. No matter how difficult it all was, if she could laugh, he knew they'd be able to pull out okay. They'd adjust, they'd change. "I got him pretty on point, right?" Adam grinned, though it faltered a little for his next question: "Did...Deimos say anything to you when he brought you here? About the engagement or your legs?"

As she asked her question Adam sighed and looked down, closed his eyes. On his arms there were still small blood stains and smears of mud left by the children he had been lifting out of the festival. "I don't know. I..I saw about...I guess..." Unfortunately, Adam had been witness to many aftermaths of disasters, knew how to estimate a death count. "Maybe twenty or so dead. Maybe more. A lot of them...kids. I tried to get the ones I could and a lot of them were really hurt." He shook his head, trying to clear his mind of some of the most pressing memories; he'd need to drink before long to wipe his mind.

"But...you need to focus on staying here and getting healthy again. I can come visit every day, if you want. I could...bring games or books or something?" With Jigano's lessons, he thought he might even be able to read them to her.

But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean









Please note Adam has 5 large scars across his neck and chin.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,963
MP:
#11
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
No, Deimos hadn't said anything- and the fear creeps back into her heart, black icy tendrils closing around her throat. "No," she says softly, "But I was... I wasn't really conscious for all of it, and it was so rushed..." Is she trying to reassure him, or herself?

Will he want a broken girl?

Her mood only darkens as he recounts the carnage; she'd had no idea how bad it was. It's enough to make her struggle to sit up, staring at Adam with an expression of abject horror and despair. "Twenty?" She repeats, incredulous, denying. How many had she known? How many had she seen, served, fed that very day?

Twenty-

She scarcely hears his next words over the ringing in her ears. Of all the disasters her home has faced, this has to be among the worst. On a day to celebrate growth and life, that it should be married by so much death... It leaves her unable to think or breathe, her heartbeat thunder in her chest.

The tears that have threatened now come in earnest, running rivulets down her cheeks. They disappear into hair that is now littered with feathers and fur, over long ears lilac and silver in tone. Wrapping her arms around herself, the girl does her best to thwart the rising sobs, long talons biting like teeth into her skin.
i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
'Til there's nothing left inside my soul
Amalia
Adam Pikely
Swashbuckler

Age: 29 | Height: 6'3" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 4 - Strg: 16 - Dext: 18 - Endr: 14 - Luck: 16
COFFEE - Mythical - Dragon (Firebreathing)
Played by: Ryan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 759
MP:
#12
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels

"Okay, well..." Adam wished Deimos had said something, but he guessed not everyone was as prone to dramatic endless rambling in emergencies like he was. "Not saying anything isn't saying anything bad, right? I'm sure it's all gonna be okay with him." He gave her a wink, but his heart wasn't really in it. What his heart was in however, was that if Deimos for a moment tried to drop his proposal, Adam was going to show him how his guns worked in a whole new way.

His hands automatically reached out to steady her as she tried to sit up, but stopped mid-air as she asked him to confirm; he nodded slowly, sadly. "Yeah. I...I think about that many." Adam tried to think of something to say, some way to make that number better, but there really wasn't one - it was no surprise Amalia burst into tears.

"Oh, hey.." Normally Adam was deeply uncomfortable around crying, but with Amalia he felt he knew her well enough to not feel awkward about it. Shifting to sit on the edge of her bed, careful not to sit on her, he leaned in to pull her into a gentle hug, mostly him making up the distance so she would not have to reach too far. A hand, similarly be-feathered, stroked through her hair as he tried to comfort her. "..Maybe you should cry a bit. It's the kind of thing you should cry over to help with getting over it...and you will, one day, you know." Maybe it wasn't exactly the same, but he'd once been a crying invalid in a hospital bed too, face ripped and speech ruined, wondering how he was going to make his life work from there on.

But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean









Please note Adam has 5 large scars across his neck and chin.
Amalia Chandrakant
the Shield of Safrin
Hand of the Queen / Baker
Portal Guardian
Age: 22 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural
Level: 12 - Strg: 34 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 34
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: charks Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,963
MP:
#13
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
She leans into his embrace obediently, too weak to resist even if she'd wanted to. There is a simple comfort in being held that Amalia desperately craves, and so she lets herself shatter and break in his arms, the sobs ripping through her slender frame. She mourns the lives that were lost too early, mourns the beauty that should have marked the day.

She mourns for herself, her lost legs and lost innocence, and the girl she once was.

You'll get over it one day. "Will I?!" Amalia gasps in reply, her voice muffled by snot and tears. Reaching for her face, she attempts to bury her head in her hands, to hide her weakness form the world. She cannot speak, but through the Attuned bond her anguish and doubt ring true and clear. I'll get over this just in time for the next disaster, and the next one, and the next- and I won't be able to stop any of them. Maybe I don't want to get over it. What's the point of trying so hard when nothing ever matters?
i swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
'Til there's nothing left inside my soul
Amalia
Adam Pikely
Swashbuckler

Age: 29 | Height: 6'3" | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander
Level: 4 - Strg: 16 - Dext: 18 - Endr: 14 - Luck: 16
COFFEE - Mythical - Dragon (Firebreathing)
Played by: Ryan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 759
MP:
#14
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels

Amalia fell into him and Adam wrapped his arms tighter around her, stroking her shoulder blades with a gentle comfort only reserved for those he really cared for. Letting out a shaking breath as she sobbed against his chest he wished he could just wave a hand and cure it for her, make it all better; he'd even have given away his new shifts for it.

But no matter how much he wished the world ran on easy deals, it never did.

Her tear-logged question nearly broke his heart, though luckily he had something to give her in answer. "Hey, yeah you will. Absolutely." He moved back just a little so he could look at her eye to eye, his arms still holding her close. "Shit happens and it hurts. Believe me, I know - and sometimes you gotta cope in not great ways for a bit and sometimes it changes your whole life, but if you're a strong person, you keep going and you find the good shit to live for between the bad shit." This was as wise as Adam got, really; he had never been one for philosophical statements on life.

"And you're strong as hell, Amalia. You know how I know? Cos you're laid here and you're still alive, and you're gonna still be alive when I visit tomorrow, and next week, and when I go to your wedding and after that too." He was sure of this and to punctuate his words he pressed a kiss to her hairline.

But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean









Please note Adam has 5 large scars across his neck and chin.


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