[Open] Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

It had been... gods, howling since he’d been in a bar? Too long really, judging by the slightest feeling of guilt that washed over him as he entered the VlamVloed just as the sun was setting, like he was breaking some sobriety streak. Like it even mattered if he drank at this point, for all the good it did him as an ascended.

No, he wasn’t looking to imbibe anything, he was just looking for something familiar. The feeling of letting the evening pass him by, soft chatter and other people around him. Maybe, if he was lucky, someone would come and join him, give him some conversation, or something. This was kind of stupid, wasn’t it? Nate wanted to sigh, slump over on the table and sit there until he was bored enough to move, but... he couldn’t leave so soon.

It was too early to really write the evening off anyway. He’d give it a few drinks, then leave if the going stayed slow. Nate leaned back in his chair and surveyed the bar, half listening to everything happening around him, half focused on the cup he held against his lips, not drinking.

Nate

I always thought that I'd die young
Make some money, be someone
They all love you when you're gone
But who knew life would be so long?

You're so cold

but you feel alive

This time of day, the bar was nearly packed. In lieu of other establishments to frequent all the workers, merchants and traveling farmers gathered here for a meal, a drink, a moment to relax and share the joke of the day with their friends. The atmosphere was loud and boisterous, the air thick with the smell of food and spirits and the occasional pipe... A mood perhaps better suited to the easy, casual Rathskeller than this posh, polished space. Many probably thought longingly of the old tavern, and toasted over it when they got a bit wet and a bit weepy... but well, beggars couldn't be choosers so here they all were.

But one of these revelers was not like the others. Of course, Maea stood out in most crowds, with her white hair and small, thin body. But here in the faded light it was even more apparent than usual. She moved with hesitation as she wound her way through the crowd, carrying her own tray of food and drink, her smiles quick to appear and even quicker to fade. Wrapped in a simple, white dress that had begun to fray at the cuffs, her eerie pale skin looked nearly luminous, flushed and flaking on the cheeks after too much time spent in the sun.

Pausing to let a group of burly farmers pass, she looked around for a seat. Most places were filled to capacity, but there was one table that had yet to fill up. Approaching, she nodded with that quicksilver smile to the dark-haired man who occupied it.

"Evening, sir. Would you mind if I joined you? Everywhere else... well..." She shrugged a little, disinclined to state the obvious.

Maea could of course just take the tray to her room and eat there, but she'd had enough of silence for one day.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

It took a lifetime of practice to both drown out the sound of the bar, and keep his ears open for anything interesting. Farmers gossip, by and large, did not count as interesting. He knew he should engage in the community, but it was so hard to bring himself to care. Nate rapped a nonsense beat on the glass he was nursing uselessly, and looked up just in time see a cloud drifting towards him.

Well, not a cloud exactly, but a girl as pale as one, a tray of food in her hands and a question on her lips that Nate has to blink to understand, his own dismal mood stuffing cotton in his ears. When he does though, he gestured to the open seat immediately, offering her a half grin. ”Feel free, I’m not expecting company.” He has to laugh though, sitting up a little straighter now that he has some. ”Don’t do that sir thing though. I’m Nathaniel.”

If she wasn’t eating, he’d offer her a hand, but as it is it feels rude. Truth be told, it feels rude either way, but he might as well give her her peace. It’s not like she really chose to eat with him.

”Now, no offence meant, but you don’t really seem the type of girl to frequent a place like this.” A hand comes up and swirls around the room like he’s mixing a drink, three parts farmers, one part outlanders, give or take a bit, and all of them with a drink in hand.

Nate

I always thought that I'd die young
Make some money, be someone
They all love you when you're gone
But who knew life would be so long?

You're so cold

but you feel alive

"Thank you." Setting the tray down at the invitation, the girl smiled again at him,and it was a touch warmer, a little more genuine this time. "I'm Maea. It's nice to meet you." The name made her think of a neighbor of hers, a childhood friend she had not seen in quite some time. They were similar in looks too, she reflected as she pulled out a chair and sat down. Tall, with dark hair and an expression that suggested people should kindly bugger off... except Nate would never be found within smelling distance of the bar, whereas this person seemed somehow made for it.

Looking a little rueful about his reflection over her being an odd bird here, she only shrugged. It was true enough; the mug on her tray was filled with cider, nothing else, and she was more likely to ask a refill of water than anything stronger once it was empty.

"None taken, you are not wrong. I just don't have anywhere else to stay at the moment. Sunjata is kind enough to let me stay in one of the rooms while I sort out my living situation." It had been a simple bargain struck at the time, but considering the turn things had taken since she came here the first time... it had become a situation rife with the possibility of complications.

"Can't say that I've seen you here before, either?" she countered, not minding the conversation as she started on the meal. As usual the cooks had piled on way too much on her plate - in some misguided attempt at feeding her up, perhaps, though it would likely take more than that to fill out the reed-thin arms, or make the cheekbones beneath the sunburned skin look less sharp.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

”Don’t mention it. Really.” Nate waved his hand, brushing off the thanks easily. All he was doing was sharing a table, and potentially bothering her with some conversation. Really, he should be the one saying thank you, considering she had gotten him out of his own head. ”Nice to meet you too Maea.”

Despite the fact that he was trying to be polite, Nate wrinkled his nose at the idea that she was staying in the bar. ”Are you new here?” Something about that didn’t seem right, she held herself among the others with far too much poise, the kind that only came from a lifetime living with a group of people, or, from a very actor. ”It’s nice that he’s letting you stay though. He really surprises you huh? Doesn’t seem the type for charity, yet here he is. Here you are.” Nate chuckled shrugging and shifting in his seat, pulling himself out of his tangent.

”I don’t usually have much reason to come around bars anymore.” Nate explained, grinning wide enough to show off his pointed teeth. ”So it might have something to do with that.” He looked towards her plate while she picked at it, surprised by what seemed to be available, and how much she had gotten. Maybe he just had the wrong idea about bars here, or there was something he was missing.

Nate

I always thought that I'd die young
Make some money, be someone
They all love you when you're gone
But who knew life would be so long?

You're so cold

but you feel alive

He was a curious sort, and chatty too. Maea did not mind, even though the topic of interest seemed to be her particular circumstances. Taking a sip from her cup, she shook her head as she set it down again.

"No, I'm natural born and raised," she told him, with a faint smile. "But I lost my family to LongNight a year back, and the farm we lived on to time ever since... I'm in the process of selling it off, but it's not really habitable anymore. Sunjata was kind enough to exchange lodging for some of our produce. Cider, mostly. The very same she had before her.

Angling her head, she regarded Nate curiously as he commented on the proprietor of the bar. There was a familiarity there that suggested more than passing knowledge. "You sound like you know him well," she commented.

Then he grinned. Her hands flinched, and something in her eyes shuddered; recognition, understanding, reservation. He was Ascended... and though she made a good show of hiding it, the girl grew decidedly less comfortable.

"Ah... I see." An awkward pause. "Then.. what brought you in today?"

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

Natural? It made sense, or at least explained her familiarity with the people around, but.... Nate was certain he would have remembered seeing the pale girl... anywhere. Even confined to night as he was, he got out, he met people. And before that too, when he’d still been human, he couldn’t remember a time he’d seen Maea. ”Why haven’t i seen you around before?” He prodded, more interested now.

”Sounds like this is a better trade for him than for you. Aren’t there lots of places to stay around here?” Not that he’d actually had to worry about finding accommodation. Since he’d come here, Sam had taken him in, and there he’d stayed.

Despite the fact that he’d made the initial comment, something in Nate bristled at the idea that he knew Sunjata well. He shrugged, working his jaw and shifting in his seat, suddenly restless. ”Well...” He began, putting a grin back on. ”I guess I know him.” He laughed at his own wordplay, which wasn’t even that good.

He was distracted from whatever else he was going to say by the sudden look of fear on her face. Up until this point, he’d avoided any kind of reaction to his race, especially any kind of negative reaction. Nate decided to let it slip though, and keep talking like he hadn’t noticed. ”I like being around people sometimes. I used to spend a lot of time in places like this, and it’s... nostalgic, I guess.”

Nate

I always thought that I'd die young
Make some money, be someone
They all love you when you're gone
But who knew life would be so long?

You're so cold

but you feel alive

Poking the food around on the plate more than she ate, Maea shrugged at the question. It was one she was used to by now, and she had abbreviated it quite a lot since the first time.

"I was ill for a long time. Nothing so bad that I needed healers, but... it just never let up, you know? I'm used to it, it's been that way most of my life. After that, well... I've been around. Came back from Halo just a few weeks ago. Found the house too messed up to live in." She omitted the part of having disappeared, being gone gods knew where for an entire year, and only coming to as she stepped out of a blizzard on the tundra. It made no sense, she had no answers to why... It was easier to go with the plausible version. Best part? It wasn't even a lie.

As for other places to stay, well... "There would be, if I looked," she admitted. "But between the work I do for my guild and trying to sort out affairs... this is easier. I come back to a meal and a made bed, everything taken care of. I think it's more than fair enough." Hopefully she wasn't making much of an impact on business either. Except hogging one of the rooms. Anything personal between herself and the owner, well... she preferred not to think too deeply on it.

It was decidedly harder to look at Nate, once she knew what he was. But though the tension did not fade, Maea tried to stay pleasant, made an effort to contain the attitude. It was not by choice, rather some instinctual response - like seeing a snake and getting goosebumps - but she was also aware of how unreasonable a reaction it was. Unfair.

Humming in understanding to his reasoning for coming, and accepting the shrugging over Sunjata, the girl dared to look up, pale, near colorless eyes regarding him more closely. The similarities to her acquaintance was really uncanny, but his speech betrayed him, as did a number of small details.

"Have you been in Caido long, then?" she asked. No question if he was Outlander; though he seemed settled enough, there was still that otherness about him. A look in his eyes that suggested he viewed her world differently than the farmers, laborers and merchants that surrounded them.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

Nate nodded in quiet sympathy, taking in the thinness of Maea's face, the frailty of her in general. The reasoning was easy to accept for him, and it made a pang throb in his chest. He's always had a weak spot for sickly people, always had an urge to help. It hadn't sat well in his old life, but here, he had a chance to do better. "It might be worth getting checked out now. You never know how things might be affecting you." He smiled, more kind than sly this time, at odds with his next words. "It happened to my brother. He was sick, and we thought he was getting better, thought we'd have more time. Then.... he was gone." He made a gesture like he was blowing dust out of his hand, and shook his head.

"I'm a doctor." He continued, after a moment. "If you ever need anything medical wise, I'll help you." There was a sincerity in those words, a serious promise. If he could, he would help.

Though there was no way he could argue with her point about the rooms, once she'd made it. "It's kind of like a hotel, when you describe it like that." Which...  was exactly what an inn was, he realized with a short, amused snort. "What kind of work is it you're doing? It must be important, if its keeping you so busy." He's trying to be polite, to get her to engage with him a little more easily.

There's nothing he can do about his race after all, not at this point, but there's a lot he can do with himself, and if a little kindness will go some way to convincing someone the ascended aren't monsters and boogeymen, then its the least he can do. His own form of evangelizing, if you will.

"Depends what you consider long, I guess." Nate shrugs, and shifts in his seat, sitting up a little bit. "It's been... just over a year? I missed Longnight last year, but only just." It was a little strange to think about so suddenly, now that he'd said it out loud. A year since he'd seen his friends, since he'd walked familiar streets. It had been long enough for this place to become familiar, for him to really settle in and get his feet under him. "It's kind of weird, I don't... really miss anything from before though."

Nate

I always thought that I'd die young
Make some money, be someone
They all love you when you're gone
But who knew life would be so long?

You're so cold

but you feel alive

She felt his concern and thought it sincere, the sympathy real enough to trust. Perhaps it was because he didn't try to coax her to trust him, like Amun did, or convince her of The Voice's good points the way Sam had begun to, but she found it far easier to relax with Nate than any of the others. His quiet confidence was more similar to Rexanna, in her eyes... and it did help that he offered none of the quiet judgement she was so used to from the Grounders. A person who couldn't work? Who was sick all the time? Not much use for anything, then...

"Thank you," she said, underlying the genuine gratitude with a smile - it looked a little easier now, a touch less stiff. "I appreciate it. Don't know that there is anything you could find that the other healers did not, though? They never could say why I took ill all the time, even after being Healed. Most simply gave up and said it was because I was born weak." She gestured to her complexion, indicating the white skin, the hair and eyes so utterly devoid of color. That the sun was a problem was already obvious, given the constant presence of sunburn and peeling skin on face and hands.

Maea brightened even further when he asked about her work. "I'm a Loreseeker," she boasted, back straightening with pride. "Still working to read and write better, though, and learning about the basics of a number of subjects - flora and fauna, geography and so on. But I hope to start on my own projects soon, so I need to focus on that as much as I possibly can."

She had already been heading down this chosen path during the time he arrived, it seemed. If he had been there to see the Spire fall he might have seen her among those going down into the tower basement, or standing amongst those attempting to lay the foundations of a governing force before Zariah Launceleyn managed to stage her coup. But then again, perhaps he'd been too occupied with getting his bearings in a strange new place to pay attention to those who did not seek him out.

"It is my experience that those who arrive here either adapt to Caido by leaving their past behind, or cling to what once was and forget to live," she remarked.

"Other's still try to change this world to fit to their expectations of what life should be like... but in the long run, those tend to burn themselves out before long. I don't know what's best, in the end. Is it a comfort or a curse to know you can never go back?"

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

It was easy, automatic to nod in response to her thanks, though the words that came after made him pause, scowl. Not at her, though it wasn’t exactly easy to differentiate, not until he spoke, his voice rough. ”I hate doc- healers like that. It’s just lazy.” He shakes his head and sighs, trying to get rid of the bristling feeling running up his back now, trying to press a kinder smile to his face. For her sake. ”I can promise you, if you ask for my help, I will do everything in my power to help you. And I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeves that no one else has.” He winks then, trying to capitalize on the little bit she’s relaxed to maybe soothe her that much more.

Nate did let his eyes look her over though, looking for anything obvious, albinism aside. She was small, not unhealthy, but... not really healthy either, if he was being honest with himself. There had to be something, some deeper underlying cause.

”A loreseeker?” He cocks his head, eyebrow quirking. Sam was as well, but he’d never heard anything of the pale girl. Probably a symptom of the sickness she’d been talking about, the same one that had kept him from seeing her anywhere else. ”What kinda of things do you want to be working on, once you’re up to snuff?” He asked, leaning over with his elbow on the table and his chin propped up in his hand.

”You know, if you’re interested, the Medical College has some classes every now and then. I don’t know if that really fits into the lore you’re seeking,” He chuckled softly at his own dumb wordplay, ”but if you’re ever interested it’s always open. I spend my time there when I can, so you could just come talk to me.” Now he could at least tell Phoebe he’d been trying to get people in the college, if and when she asked. Though that was a line of thought he cut off quickly, having more than one reason to want to avoid the Dean.

She was right in assuming Nate hadn’t paid any attention to the world around him when he’d first arrived. He’d been overwhelmed, and making poor choices, in bedfellows, in habits, wherever he could really. He still had a little jar with a touch of white powder hidden in Sam’s home, useless to him now, but still kept. It was only recently he’d begun to settle down, into a place, a routine not that that would last much longer.

”I’m glad I’m in the former group then. I’ve always found it easier to go with the flow.” And Caido certainly had a flow, one that had made him stumble once or twice, but that he was generally happy with now. Nate does wonder at her musing, where it’s coming from, but he offers her an answer as earnestly as he can. ”I find it’s a comfort, but... I was ready to step out of my old life anyway. This was just a really convenient chance for me. Not everyone else has it so cut and dry, yknow?”

Nate

I always thought that I'd die young
Make some money, be someone
They all love you when you're gone
But who knew life would be so long?

You're so cold

but you feel alive

Maea smiled, agreeing in full to his assessment of her earlier checkups. Of the healers that didn't care to find out what they did not already know.

"Finding out what was wrong with me was the reason I joined the Loreseekers in the first place," she explained, "and medicine is still a big interest, so I'd like to keep heading in that direction, among others - magic and folklore are others. The College has certainly made it easier to acquire the basic understandings, so I'd love to take you up on that, at least. As for the checkup... I'll think about it?"

She was not completely shutting down the idea of that checkup, but it was clear she hesitated to accept it too. Not least considering she knew how he'd likely be doing it... if this was the same 'doctor' that Sunjata was seeing. He'd never mentioned a name so far.

As he related how he was settling in, Maea nodded, taking the time to sip from her cider again. She'd managed few bites of her food between sentences, more than usual now that she was distracted from it by the conversation, but there was still far too much left. The kitchen staff would be complaining again, no doubt.

"I'm glad. It's always good to hear that people actually like being here, that they're not sick with wanting to go back home. I know it's not much, but... Caido is still my home." A slight shrug; it was as simple as wishing people to be comfortable in her house. Make her home theirs. Not feel like they had to move all the furniture to be comfortable.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

”Well I’ll be more than happy to actually try and help you get some answers. In whatever way you want.” Nate laughs again, wondering if her hesitation came from a lifetime of not being listened to, or from something she’d heard about him. Without any real though, Nate’s eyes drifted past her, towards the bar, wondering if maybe her and the proprietor were closer than she’d made it seem.

He couldn’t help but feel a little bad, watching her eat and drink as he spoke, the only time she’d gotten to so far. The plate was nearly still full, and that certainly couldn’t be helping any health issues.

Nate hums, focussing back on Maea as she speaks, his eyes moving up Just in time to see her shrug. ”For what it’s worth, I think it’s more than enough here. You keep a nice house.” He chuckles, then downs the rest of his drink, which seems to be almost full judging by how long he has the glass tipped up, without a breath.

”Thanks for the conversation Maea. I’ll see you around, right?” He winks, then steps away from the table, not quite blending in with the crowd like she had, but still stepping through it like he’d been born to it.

Nate out!

Nate

I always thought that I'd die young
Make some money, be someone
They all love you when you're gone
But who knew life would be so long?