Bartender I Really Did It This Time

so you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes
before knowledge

and you want it dirty

For the ten minutes immediately after Sam had kicked him out, Nate was numb. He had no idea what to do, where to go. The other man was supposed to be in Torchlight, he was supposed to have had time to figure this out. Instead he was caught out immediately, and had nothing else but the truth. He hadn’t even found a pretty way to wrap it up, to make it sound less condemning.

It was only after he’d wandered through the streets for a while, taking random turns, a terrible repeat of how he’d gotten into this position that the reality of what had happened really sunk. He had nothing now. Everything except the clothes on his back were back in Sams house, and there was no way he was getting any of it back. Not any time soon at least.

There was one place he thought he could go, but it... really didn’t feel good to consider it. Even if he had no other options. With his hands shoved deep into his pockets, Nate turned towards the VlamVloed, hoping that whatever hell Sunjata was going through was either done, or happening somewhere else. The last thing he needed right now was to get in the middle of it. Whatever it happened to be. And it turned out to be messy, if the broken furniture and glass just outside the bar was anything to go by.

Nate whistled lowly as he stepped over the threshold of the place, after peeking through the doorway to make sure Phoebe wasn’t inside anywhere. ”This is fucked.” He looked around, taking in the empty shelves, the fractal burns laced into every other wooden surface. Sunjata sat near the back, on one of the few chairs left in one piece, a smoke hanging from his lips and a drink in his hands. Nate sighed, then walked in, all too aware of how loud his footfalls sounded in the gutted bar.

”I guess she didn’t take it well.” He tried to be cavalier about it, tried to keep his voice light, even as he reached over and took the smoke from between Sunjatas lips. He left the drink, learning the attuned man have some balm.

and no one can figure out what you want

and you won’t tell them

NATE

i'm not a whole person, and i dont think i ever will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

One deep inhale of smoke, one deep rattling exhale of it through his nose as Nate approaches. He can hear the attempt, the lightness to the tone, watching with those same steel and stormy eyes as before, but decidedly more shadowed, more haunted, more guilty. He doesn’t even react when Nate pulls the cigarette from his fingers, reaching for the bottle instead before ruffling his hair slightly. ”Mhmm.” A quiet, rumble, looking over the damage etched into walls and bar table alike, the space where so many bottles had been.

“At least she’d made sure people were out before she went at it.” A shrug to that, a smokey exhale as he lifts the bottle to his lips, setting it back on the table with a quiet thud, propping his stubbled chin against his fist. He gestures for Nate to take a seat with one of the only other not ruined chairs left behind. “But hey, in the end, I got what I wanted.” He flexes his left hand before them, empty and nothing but tanned skin with the faintest of a tanline around where the band had sat.

“You get anything yet?”  His dark gaze slips up to the other man, a dark brow raised – exhausted and still not quite recovered from what had occurred.

& i visit them in dreams

SUNJATA

so you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes
before knowledge

and you want it dirty

Nate considers the smoke in his fingers, then looks up over the damage and brings it up to his lips. He inhales, turning back towards Sunjata as he does, pulling in until he can’t anymore, until he’s left with nothing but a tube of ash, hanging between his lips. ”I guess that’s the best you could hope for, if this was her plan.” As he talked his hand came up quickly, catching the ash that fell as he spoke.

His foot dips out to scoop the offered chair close enough to sit in, and then flops down, crossing his arms as he goes. ”Glad I could help.” The words came after a moment where Nate really had to think about it, had to hope that it would do something to lighten the mood, instead of just pissing Sunjata off. He didn’t even know the other man that well, he had no idea how he’d react to certain jokes. Gods, that made all this that much worse, didn’t? They barely knew each other, and two relationships had been torn apart. He hummed, grimacing as the thought went through his mind and exhaled the smoke in a slow drain through his nose.

The grimace only deepened with the next question, Nate shaking his head a little. But, they were standing in the shattered remains of Sunjatas relationship, the least he could do was share his implosion. ”Yea. I did. He kicked me out. Said not to come back.” His brows pulled together in something that could be a deep sorrow, but could also be a mild indifference. Nate sighed again, then reach out towards Sunjata, his palm facing up like he was offering something. ”Smoke?” Or begging.

and no one can figure out what you want

and you won’t tell them

NATE

i'm not a whole person, and i dont think i ever will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

A nod of agreement to that, watching as Nate takes the longest inhale of a cigarette he’s ever seen – wondering if that’s part of the Ascension or if he could do it beforehand – until there’s nothing but ash remaining. The only hint of his surprise in the state he’s in is the dark raise of his brow, the hint of his lip shifting in some small part of intrigue. But it all fades as his gaze slips back to the bottle, as Nate sits and Sunjata leans back, head tilting back slightly as he lets his fingers tap against the glass.

A dark chuckle does leave him at Nate’s joke, however, though he’s not sure what to follow it up with. His mind hasn’t quite caught up to everything, the shock beginning to show over what he’s done, what they’ve done and what’s occurred from it. It felt like a double edged sword, that no matter which way it was swung, chaos reigned in its wake. Either way he looked at it, it was wrong, bad, terrible. So he chooses not to, focusing as Nate speaks.

This does cause his brows to raise, and he can’t help another quiet and hoarse rumble of amusement that comes from his throat. “Shit, so…” He pauses, swallowing against the buzz in his mind, the fogginess there. “I didn’t know.” His slate eyes slip to Nate to catch the sorrow, only adding to more of the guilt in his gut, the confusion surrounding the whole ordeal, how they’d both given in when they likely should have backed off.

He checks the offered hand as it’s given, and Sunjata extends a leg to pull the pack of smokes and matches out from his pocket to place them in Nate’s hand. “Have as many as you want, I’m supposed to quit for the time.” He finds the humor somewhat amusing – some other feeling than the anger and the rage he wants to writhe in. “Doctor’s orders, after all.” A raise of his bottle to Nate before taking another deep swig of it.

& i visit them in dreams

SUNJATA

so you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes
before knowledge

and you want it dirty

Nate catches the rising brow at his trick, and can’t resist the sly wink. It’s easier to not feel bad about... well, the last day, last few hours, if he’s playing the fool, making it all into a joke. It had always been his first line of defense, though it didn’t really occur to Nate that this wasn’t really a situation he needed defending in. The hurt would be over faster if he could let it in. But he can’t, so he just tips his head back searching the ceiling like somehow it held the answers to the questions he didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about it, not in relation to himself, not in relation to the man beside him. Nate wanted to treat it like some hypothetical, as much as he could manage.

The facade he’s so carefully erecting only works if it isn’t disturbed though, and the acknowledgement from the other man does a hell of a lot of disturbing. Nate’s gaze comes back to earth suddenly, a hand coming up to rub at his brow. ”No. no it’s not...” Can’t quite say not your fault and have it seem sincere at all, so he moves on. ”I did know, so...” He shrugs, an irritation lurking in the gesture’s manic execution. An irritation at himself, not that it would necessarily come across like that. He was irritated that he could even think Sunjata shared any of the blame, when he was Nate’s patient; he was irritated that he had done this at all; and he was irritated that he was going around in circles like this.

At least the smokes, and the words that accompany them, bring a wry smile to Nate’s lips, a huff of laughter escaping his nose as he pulls another one out and lights it, smoking it normally for the time being. It’s more for the muscle memory than the nicotine anyway. ”You wouldn’t give a shit if I wasn’t right here.” He quips back, tucking the pack into the pocket of his jacket. It was a small mercy that he’d actually been wearing it, and hadn’t left it behind in the house. It was his favourite.

”So...” Nate looked over at Sunjata properly, smoke pouring out of his mouth along with the words. ”What now?” His brows were raised in quiet consideration, and even he wasn’t sure how serious he was being. It depended on the answer, he guessed.

and no one can figure out what you want

and you won’t tell them

NATE

i'm not a whole person, and i dont think i ever will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

It’s a sore spot, from what Sunjata can tell. And he lets the conversation drop, figuring that at least on his end, nobody was happy. For Nate, though? It seemed like this mystery man and Nate may have been happy, may have had things planned for the future with one another that Sunjata hadn’t cared about either, caving and craving more of the bite. He realizes now that perhaps things had spiraled so quickly out of control with the bite, whether it was the location or the feelings or Sunjata’s own pent-up frustrations with no outlet, the ring rebound as well that had caused such an intense feeling to circulate over him.

He exhales a breathy sigh, leaning back in his chair, long legs stretching out and crossing before him, bottle in his lap, turning his head toward Nate with the huff of laughter. “That’s the most truthful thing I’ve heard all day.” He hums to Nate, a crooked smile accompanied with a throaty chuckle of laughter – feeling good compared to what the last few hours had wrought upon them. He exhales briefly, settling in, taking a swig of the bottle before he can feel Nate’s intensely bright blues on him, and he turns his head again toward the Ascended.

“What now, indeed.” A rise and fall of tattooed shoulders. “I’m going to try and get this back together and running again I think.” A purse of his lips at that, reaching up to rub at his jaw, considering Nate thoughtfully. “Do you have another place to stay? VlamVloed's a mess but I’ve got a place you could crash at if you need to.” A dark brow raises, his accent far thicker on the name of the bar, letting it roll from his tongue with practiced ease. “Likely won’t look good, but at this point the damage is done I think.”

& i visit them in dreams

SUNJATA

so you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes
before knowledge

and you want it dirty

Nate is incredibly grateful that the other man doesn’t push the issue further, just lets it drop without so much as a look. A tiny, petulant part of him did want to be huffy about how it was barely cheating anyway, it wasn’t like they’d fucked, wasn’t like he’d even gotten the other man into a state of undress, and yet here he was, out on his ass, and deeply unsatisfied. Thoughts rolled over him like waves, dredging up memories of similar situations he’d been in before, dredging up emotions he’d really rather not sink into.

It’s easier to live in the moment, easier to return the grin, the huff of laughter. To make a joke out of something else serious. And he’s glad for the break, before they’re back on a (slightly less) dismal topic. What comes next. Nate knows he asked the question, but it was more to fill the quiet than anything else. He tilts his head, like he’s looking out over the bar, considering it, but his eyes don’t leave Sunjata. ”I can help out with the clean up. Probably the least I can do.” He snorts, grin finally cracking his face properly.

As for where he was staying... ”Well if you’re offering, I’ll take it.” Nates eyes finally move off the other man, his tongue dipping out to wet his lips a little. The curl of the accent on the words, the name of the bar, does something a little funny in his throat, something he tries to ignore cause, fuck, it’s probably too soon to bring up anything about what they did, let alone think about round two (three? Did the first time count, back in the medical college?). ”Not really sure there’s a way to look good after this.” He pointed out, before clapping his hands and gesturing around. ”Besides, we’re past that. I’m already here.” He laughs, putting more into it than is strictly necessary, and wishes, not for the first time, that he could take the bottle from Sunjata like he had the smokes and have it be worth something.

and no one can figure out what you want

and you won’t tell them

NATE

i'm not a whole person, and i dont think i ever will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

Nate’s grin is relieving, and yet Sunjata has to look away at the brief flash of fangs, reaching for the bottle in his lap instead and to survey the damage around him, around both of them. “It’s a bit of a secret.” He shrugs at first, shifting in his seat and drawing his knees up. “It’s where I usually stay.” His accented voice rumbles, though amusement finds its way back in at Nate’s comment.

“That you are.” He agrees, his own hoarse chuckle leaving him before he stands. The mess can wait, and he’s still relatively fucking exhausted from what’s occurred in one day alone. He slips back behind the bar to grab another bottle, whistling for Haai who’d found a new nest in one of the back rooms. The wolfish griffin slips out with a whine of a yawn, padding along the floor until she spots Nate and tilts her head at him in intrigue.

Making his way back toward Nate, he scoops up the griffin and sets her along his shoulders, claws and talons diffing into places Nate has previously dug. “Hy bly 'n rukkie by ons.” He tells Haai with his own language, reaching up to scratch behind her ear, and then lets his steel gaze fall on Nate. “Haai, Nate. Nate, Haai.” He rumbles with amusement, before turning on his heel toward the back of the house. “Let’s go, then.”

---

Hy bly 'n rukkie by ons. — he’s going to be staying with us.

& i visit them in dreams

SUNJATA

so you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes
before knowledge

and you want it dirty

”Oh you’re showing me secrets now?” Nate laughed, hand coming up to his chest like he was a wooed maiden, though he doesn’t keep it up long. As Sunjata stood, Nate turned to watch him, squinting like he was staring up at the sun for a (not) breath before heaving himself up as well, ready to follow.

The whistle makes him pause, brow rising until he sees the... puppy? Bird? whatever it is trots out. He mirrors the cocked head, a slow, wide smile, not a smirk or a grin, but a smile spreading over his face, lighting it up. The attuned scoops her up and brings her over, crooning to her in a language Nate doesn’t recognize at all, not that he’s even listening. ”Look at yooou!” He coos, reaching out to stroke at her. ”Hi Haai!”

He’s still not really listening to the words coming out of Sunjatas mouth, but he spares the man a glance as he starts moving, following dutifully after him, if only to keep the griffon in arms reach. Which means he’s close behind the other man, almost on his heels. ”What was that anyway? The language?” Curiosity eats at him enough to ask, once he’s no longer under Haai’s charm. Or, less under it.

and no one can figure out what you want

and you won’t tell them

NATE

i'm not a whole person, and i dont think i ever will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

“Might as well.” Sunjata responds in kind, a quieter snort leaving him at Nate’s laugh. But he slips away then, focusing on grabbing Haai and scooping her up to introduce her to Nate. The crooning the Ascended gives absolutely wins him over with her, and a small puff of smoke curls around her maw with a wag of her tailfeathers at the attention and praise, the fingers soft in her fur. “She likes you.” He offers, a hum of amusement leaving his throat before he’s getting ready to depart the bar and Nate’s quick on his heels, focused on the griffin.

It doesn’t take too long, and yet Sunjata focuses on the path taken, sure the Ascended won’t lose him in the dark. “It’s Korofi. Native tongue of my home.” He shrugs slightly, shooting the Ascended a glance over his shoulder that sparkles with some small amount of amusement. “It’s the language the bar is named in. Vlam is flame. Vloed is flood.” An easy bit of an explanation before they’ve reached a set of stairs, and Sunjata steps along them in a certain pattern as though it’s well practiced, to settle under the bar. “Watch your step.” He offers, hoping Nate makes it – imagining he will, before opening the door and slipping inside.

“My girl back home was nicknamed the Korofi Flame. They nicknamed me the Korofi Flood.” A brief explanation. Haai meanwhile, doesn’t care. And when Sunjata’s finished with his explanation, Haai darts from his shoulders to hopefully land on Nate’s – quickly becoming her favorite with the more praise she’s receiving.

& i visit them in dreams

SUNJATA

so you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes
before knowledge

and you want it dirty

”Course she likes me.” Nate laughs, heartbreak and guilt temporarily relieved by the ink slick creature. ”Everything likes me. To start with at least.” The self depreciation brings him back down to earth a little, though he’s still grinning, more a reflex than anything else.

”Korofi.” Nate repeats, trying the word out on his tongue. It’s too rough for him to actually get it right, coming out nasally instead of smooth the way the other man says it. ”I was wondering about the name too, I guess that makes sense.” He falls quiet again as they come to the stairs, watching Sunjatas steps and following them as exactly as he can, figuring something so exact has to be for a reason. ”S’cute. The name thing. Obviously girl back home isn’t Phoebe, yea?” At this point, Nate isn’t sure what is and isn’t appropriate to bring up, but figures if he oversteps a line he’ll know.

Haai is eagerly accepted onto his shoulder, Nate’s hand coming up automatically to stroke at her fur, and help keep her steady while he walks. God he missed having something small and furry around. Mia had been a good temporary fill, but there was nothing like a dog, or in this case, nothing like a half wolf griffin thing.

”So, why exactly am I watching my step? Is this really some kind of secret hideout thing?” It was an exciting idea, sleeping in some kind of... spy shit, but it’s a little bit worrying too. It only highlighted again how much he didn’t know about Sunjata, and, more unfortunately, how much he wanted to learn more about him.

and no one can figure out what you want

and you won’t tell them

NATE

i'm not a whole person, and i dont think i ever will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

There’s another bit of amused laughter that leaves Sunjata at Nate’s comment. The man is charming, not unlike himself in a way, and it’s enough that Haai notices right away, drawn to him like a moth to flame. But Sunjata listens with a quiet smirk along his face as they walk, hearing him attempt to say Korofi, putting it aside for later.

“Gods no.” Sunjata chuckles to that. “No, Lusea would’ve probably been more upset she couldn’t join in the fun rather than having done it at all.” He offers with a slight shrug, reaching the bottom of the stairs while Haai settles in and drapes around Nate’s shoulders and neck like an iridescent fuzzy scarf. “Because it’s my Guild. And we’re not known.” He answers, opening the door and letting Nate in first with a playful smirk. “Started like a Thieves Guild, though I guess we’re more spies of a sort now.” He shrugs.

It’s been the best way to describe it so far, and so he does. “Welcome to the Devil’s Advocates.” He says, stepping in after Nate and gesturing to the place with a playful tilt of his horned head.

& i visit them in dreams

SUNJATA

so you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes
before knowledge

and you want it dirty

"She sounds like a blast." There's the curl of a smile on Nate's face, in his voice. He wonders how the other man even ended up in the mess of a marriage he'd been bound by, when he seemed so sure of what he liked, who he liked. Spite and bets aside, surely anyone else could see it wouldn't work? That was something he wouldn't voice though, not when it could so easily come across as something else, and when it came so close on the edge of the breakdown of aforementioned marriage.  "Too bad she's... not around? Or I'd offer round two."

Both Nate's hands are up now, stroking along the fuzzy body body draped over his shoulders. It's less focused now though, because the mention of a secret guild has him perking up, wondering what exactly he should be expecting. He steps past Sunjata, into the open door, feeling like he's stepping back into his past, back into the smoke filled rooms and danger he'd grown up in.

Thieves guild turned spies. To Nate it just sounds like a gang, and as he steps further into the room, looking around, he finds it really looks like a gang hideaway too. With a grin on his lips, he turned on his heel, supporting the griffin on him as he went, and cocked his head, and hips, in the other mans direction. "So, is this one of those, tell me now you have to kill me thing, oooor... is this something I can get in on?" It wasn't like he had anything else going on anymore, and well, he had the experience. He smiled wide, chin up like he already knew he belonged, like he was just waiting for the approval.

and no one can figure out what you want

and you won’t tell them

NATE

i'm not a whole person, and i dont think i ever will be

parts of me died in the house i grew up in

“She was.” Far more interested in what was the most advantageous of options, chomping at the bit, a flame only quenched by that of roaring flood waters. He wonders what’s happened to him in that time, having grown too soft. Perhaps he should have let Lusea let out her frustrations and anger on Phoebe. Perhaps he’d be able to become that Flood again. Perhaps now is his chance, his taste at freedom, no longer giving a fuck about anything — least of all Phoebe, the one that had started him down this road of poor decision making.

The comment of round two has him swallowing slightly hard, but there’s amusement lingering in his gaze as he looks to Nate then. “Mmm, well.” He bites his tongue before mentioning he’s the only one here, that Lusea isn’t… But now without a marriage, without anything else tying him down, what would even stop a round two? Nothing, really. He coped by entirely losing himself with people. And Nate? Nate in combination with the rings had given him far more of that than anyone else had. “What do you get out of the bites, anyway?” He asks instead, not knowing anything much about the Ascended at all. There’s got to be something else to it rather than bites that devour and being unable to participate other than that.

Haai shifts on Nate’s shoulders, leaning into each of the scratches he gives her with a happiness that she conveys by reaching out to lick at his ear, and Sunjata listens while Nate glances around to ask what the next step is. “What, and kill the best doctor I’ve had?” He snorts, shooting Nate a wink, before glancing around the Guild. “If you’re interested we’ll gladly have you.” He offers, letting his gaze slip back to the Ascended, his own crooked and fanged smirk crossing his face.

They could use the members after all.

& i visit them in dreams

SUNJATA