Smothered in Smoke

MAEA

This was a terrible mistake. Maea was sure of it. Even as she made her way from the VlamVloed and into the night, to find her way to the secret entrance into the Advocate's hideout - more like a devil's nest, really - she was convinced it would all end badly. If it even began. Actually, she should just turn around and leave now, before they heard her feet on the stairs, carefully navigating around the traps. Before anyone down there opened the door and let her inside.

She wanted to leave. But, at the same time, not? Because she had agreed to this already, had sent Nate a message telling him she'd decided on accepting his examination. And that Sunjata would be there for it, because of... reasons. Panic, being the main one.

But aside from her genuine curiosity and will to find out why she'd been bedridden throughout most of her life, there was also the nagging sensation in her chest that was all too familiar. A dry cough, a stabbing pain as she breathed. She knew it, and hated it, feared it for what it might do to her plans if she let it get out of hand.

So, despite her raging anxiety over this, and despite being uncomfortable both in this location - why here, and not at the College? - Maea still made her way down. In one piece, hurrah.

Knocking on the door, she waited for someone to open. Preferably before she took her shaking hands and second thoughts and bolted.

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SuNjATA

the flood

She’d agreed to the checkup, and yet Sunjata wasn’t entirely aware of when it might occur. At some point before Halo, likely, but he’d promised to be there regardless. She knew that Nate was staying at the Advocates, knew that he was staying there too – and so he hopes she knows where to find him when the time comes.

He doesn’t expect it to be this early, however, as he and Nate spend a fair amount of time going over the notes and things he’d learned about Torchline from Remi and Ronin for the possible trip to sandy beaches, a joke tossed in about his whale shift here and there as something Nate could take advantage of  as well. But the knock has him shuffling the papers aside, stepping over to the door to open it, to find an even paler faced Maea.

Offering her a gentle smile, he opens the door wider to beckon her in. “Test time, or have you come to hang out?” He hums to her quietly, glancing to her with a dark raised brow, unsure. Regardless of the answer, he snicks the door shut behind her, following her into the dark den of the Guild.

if i let go, would you hold on?
would we fly?

NATE

Nate is a little bit surprised to receive the note from Maea, even more surprised to read her conditions, but at the end of the day, it didn’t affect too much. Might be a bit awkward, but he’d laughed his way through worse situations. He ‘s more surprised to hear that it’s going to happen in the hideout, though it makes the most sense, what with the way he’d been avoiding his usual haunts.

They’re going over notes when the knock comes, and honestly Nate is a little bit grateful for it. He can stay focused when he needs to, but it’s easy to get more than a little distracted when he runs his fingers over the gouges at the edge of the desk they’re talking over. Nate leans back in his chair as the attuned man goes to answer the door, shifting only when he sees who it is. He raises an easy hand in greeting, but waits until she’s in the room properly before speaking.

”I knew I’d see you again soon.” Nate purrs, resisting the urge to stand just yet, in case she is just here to hang out with them. They’re probably better company than most.

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MAEA

The door slid open, and it was too late. Nowhere left to run - where do we go when we cannot go back? - but forward. She had likened it to clinging to a cliffs edge with nothing but open air below her dangling feet, and as she gave Sunjata a pale smile on ashen lips, Maea felt like the ground below had suddenly become filled with prowling beasts. Slithering snakes with too long teeth... and the biggest of them was smiling at her from right across the room.

"I... wasn't sure it'd be this soon" she managed to say, sounding all kinds of queasy as she stepped into the room. The snick of the door as it closed behind her was far too much like a lock coming into place, and even though she knew both of them (well, a bit) and she'd been the one to ask for this, she still felt trapped. Suffocating.

"Are you two busy? I can... come back later, if..." And she sounded a lot like she would prefer it that way.Standing in the middle of the room with her arms wrapped tightly around herself, fingers buried deep into the shawl as if it was a lifeline, one thin piece of cloth keeping her from slipping into some mad void. Odds were that if she left now she would never get this done. And no coaxing or looming threat of more confinement to a sickbed would be enough to persuade her again.

In other words... she was terrified, but she was there. So... Now or never.

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Show me your darkness

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SuNjATA

the flood

The slithering snakes description is apt, for what’s happened in this room. But he doesn’t mention any of it, refrains from letting his gaze travel to the gouges in the desk they’d just been at. Instead, he focuses on Maea as she enters, looking every bit like a woman that’s terrified to be here, bribed perhaps. His steel gaze remains on her as he approaches to rest a hand along her shoulder, a gentle smile granted. “We’re not busy.” He offers easily, perhaps a hint sweetly, anything to try and get her to relax.

He steps away from her then to grab a chair, to pull it in beside the couch. “It’ll be okay, Maea, it’ll be over before you know it.” He rumbles to her, giving her an assuring smile, before his gaze lifts to Nate – a brief exhale through his nose as he considers the other man. “Besides, Nate’s pretty good about it.” He can’t hide the hint of a smirk that crosses his face, exhaling a quiet chuckle before he looks back to Maea waiting for her to decide what she wishes to do.

if i let go, would you hold on?
would we fly?

NATE

”Sooner is better, isn’t it?” Nate points out, his voice gentler than it had been before, a well practiced hum. He smiles, still not moving, not until she’s calmed somewhat. Or at least, until she’s sitting, he decides suddenly, pushing himself out of his own seat once she’s accepted the one Sunjata so graciously provides.

”I’m very good about it.” He corrects as he crosses the room, sopping fae enough away from her still that he couldn’t reach, not yet. Like he’s trying to acclimate her to his presence before he tries anything. ”I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.” Nate offers the assurance easily, eyes meeting Sunjatas steel briefly before they turn to look at her.

He thinks a moment, then speaks, an idea coming to him. ”If it would help, I can answer any questions or, address any concerns you have before we start. I’ve always found it makes me feel better to know the whole process first, so I can’t be surprised.” It’s maybe a long shot, but Nate’s hoping to appeal a little to her inquisitive side, to draw out some calmness, even if it’s just as a rejection.

It's a bitch convincing people to like you

BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3

MAEA

Sunjata's hand on her shoulder made her flinch. She was so tense, it felt as though she might break into pieces if anything bumped into her too quickly. Brittle, fragmenting... but the men were calm, and kind, and she forced down a deep breath to steady the racing pulse that thundered through her veins. No doubt the Flood could actually hear it, with that preternatural hearing of his.

"I appreciate that, very much" she said faintly, and moved around the offered chair to sit down. It wasn't that she meant to ignore Sunjata, or that his warm smiles and kind attempts to lighten the mood didn't help. Maea was just too focused on what she perceived to be the biggest threat in this room, and right now? It was the biggest unknown. Nate.

"Let's start with the talking, then. Ask anything you like, I'll answer as best I can." If she could postpone... the rest for even a bit longer, she welcomed it. Reaching up a hand over her shoulder, she searched for Sunjata's hand, hoping he would remain there. To be the steady support behind her to lean back on.

She'd been asking that a lot of him lately, come to think of it. Especially now, when the air was filled with poorly veiled implications flying back and forth, and she was the only one not entirely in on the joke.

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Show me your darkness

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SuNjATA

the flood

She flinches to his touch, and he withdraws with it, passing it off as though it hadn’t mattered. But she’s tense, and he can see it in the way she focuses on Nate. Like a rabbit caught before a wolf’s jaws, when Sunjata knows from her training that she could absolutely be anything but. Regardless, she settles, and Sunjata comments, glancing over toward Nate to roll his eyes in some small amount of amusement at his response.

She sits, however, and Sunjata takes a seat on the arm of the couch, leg hanging off the edge while he focuses on her as Nate questions her. Her hand seeks his out, and he grasps hers back giving her a gentle squeeze, a smile sent her way to try and calm the waters. They weren’t monsters here, regardless of what they believed – but he knows it’s the bite that fears her, that it’s something she’s terrified of.

But Nate takes that clinical approach, a bit more official, a bit more professional – like he had been when Sunjata had went to him for the first time. But his gaze never leaves her, waiting to see how she responds to the process, prepared to squeeze her hand lightly while Nate explains it.

if i let go, would you hold on?
would we fly?

NATE

”Alright, starting with questions.” Nate chuckles, glad to be making some amount of headway, even if it is also stalling the whole purpose of her visit. He‘ll be happier when she’s more comfortable, not shrinking away from him like he’s something vicious, uncontrollable. ”I’m sure Jata told you a little about my process already. I’m going to borrow your wrist, take a little blood, and I should be able to tell you what’s wrong. Easy.” He made it sound clinical, like he was barely involved in the process at all.

”Which part is it you’re most worried about?” He asks, once she’s had a moment to react to his explanation. ”The bite itself? It won’t hurt, and I promise, if you want me to pull away, I will. And you’ve got him,” He gestures towards the other man, ”presumably he’ll be doing something other than being a voyeur.” He laughs again.

Maybe he was overcompensating a bit, but truth be told, he was a little nervous about this as well. Sunjata was more of a cautionary tale than a reassurance when it came to this, unfortunately, but a cautionary tale that was technically the first chapter in the book. He was certain he could be professional, but the worry did linger, in the back of his mind.

It's a bitch convincing people to like you

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MAEA

To be perfectly honest, she had expected clinical questions. About her health, eating habits, exercise or lack of it, that sort of thing. But... as that was what everyone else already had done, she shouldn't have been surprised that Nate would skip that part.

Still... explaining the depth of her issues with the bite would mean explaining everything. Everything. The deeply personal, intimately private worries and utter lack of experience that she'd only ever told one person. And that... was the whole reason why he sat in the room now, holding her hand so gently as if she might indeed break if he squeezed it too hard.

"It's... the part of it not hurting that's worse," she managed to say, as heat slowly began to rise into her face. Dramatic as always on her pale skin, it was a look of a bloody sun slowly rising, flushing the face, the neck, even going so far as reddening the overside of her hands. Obvious, embarrassing (which of course only made her blush even harder). Maea let Nate figure out the rest, and tried instead to wrap her mind about the part of Sunjata not just being there to watch. Was he not?

She threw him a look, wild with questions, warnings, all the history between them compressed into a single panicked point. What... would he be doing, exactly?

Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness

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SuNjATA

the flood

His gaze only slips to Nate when he’s mentioned, and it’s only a brief glance, some hint of amusement at first, at least, at the mention of him explaining part of the process. And he had, what it felt like, awkwardly… But he had. Only when Nate begins to explain the bite itself does Sunjata’s focus land on Nate once more as he laughs and the storm clouds of his gaze feign offense. Lips part to retort back to Nate, but he’s cut off as Maea’s head whips toward him and he shakes his head with a quiet huff of a chuckle.

He looks to her, sees the blush, and the look, and he tries to give her an encouraging smile. “Literally just emotional support.” He offers with a nod, before shooting Nate a look that was a hint threatening – knowing it’d go nowhere. A huff of an exhale leaves him at that, but he squeezes Maea’s hand. “It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine, I promise.” He offers easily with a casual shrug, though he does swallow a bit harder.

if i let go, would you hold on?
would we fly?

NATE

”Ah.” Understanding springs up instantly, the fear not from the bite itself, but rather the feeling that surrounded it, that came with it. That’s a little more difficult to handle though, especially given the joke he’d just made about Sunjata. The other man is right in thinking his look goes nowhere, but only because Nate doesn’t need any more encouragement to feel badly about the poor turn of phrase.

”If I could keep it from having any sensation at all, I would.” Nate says softly, the clinical hum back in his voice. ”All I can do is try to prepare you though. Whatever happens, whatever you feel, it doesn’t have to be real. None of it.” Nate chances a step closer, dropping into a crouch as he went so he could look up at Maea and hold a hand out in a silent request for her hand.

It's a bitch convincing people to like you

BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3

MAEA

She looked between them, wary, suspicious, sensing that many things passed between them beyond merely words. If there was a connection between her and Sunjata then there was definitely one between him and Nate as well, and there was something slimey, ugly, greenblack and noxious that slithered through her insides at the notion. It was rather unexpected, because she had never really been jealous over the storm-eyed Flood before, and here, now, it seemed a very foolish thing. When not even his marriage to Phoebe had made her feel it, why should this? But with all her senses on high alert, emotions raw and on edge, perhaps it was just the insecurities speaking. The desperate desire to keep things close, keep them private.

Even though she could not, not here. Not like this.

Strangely, it was the jealousy that steadied her in the end. Maea got the sense that they were laughing, possibly at her, and it rankled. Sparked just enough annoyance that it took the worst edge off the terror. She still tensed as Nate approached, hunching down by her chair, looking very calm and very reassuring indeed. Like a snake stretched out on a rock, basking in the sun. The teeth might be hidden, but Maea knew they were there. Her fingers tightened around Sunjata's hand, gripping so hard that her knuckles whitened, and for the longest time she stared at that outstretched hand, that quiet request. Thinking. Weighing.

'You'll be fine. I promise.'

He promised. Like before, when he'd said 'I won't let you drown'. He'd kept it that time, she'd not been swept away by the river (or had she?) and she was still breathing fine, head above water (was that really true?) and how bad could it be, really? All she had to do was let go (just let go) and let herself fall.

Would they catch her if she did?

Slowly, hands shaking, fingers icy cold and numb, she stretched out her hand and placed it on Nate's open palm. There was a strange ringing in her ear, and the room was spinning a little... then she took a breath and it steadied itself. A little.

"I trust you."

It was not entirely clear who of them she spoke to. Maybe both.

Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness

BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3

SuNjATA

the flood

If it came down to it, would he give in? He’s not sure he wouldn’t. But he promised Maea he’d be there as her support, someone to lean on and squeeze and grab when her fears got too much. Despite the feelings the Ascended will get out of her, Sunjata can’t help but to focus on the reason for it. Much like his own, a hidden, deeper illness that coursed through his veins, unable to be found by traditional means. It’s easier that way, and he breathes out a quiet rasping sigh watching as Nate crouches before her – gaze flickering to the desk behind them with the gouges within it – before he swallows hard again at the sight.

But Maea’s squeezing his hand tight, and his attention is dragged to her once more. And gods is she squeezing his hand hard. All he can do for the moment is run his thumb along the top of her fingers gently, callouses brushing against her soft pale skin. And he watches as she hands her arm over toward Nate. Shifting slightly where he sits, he changes the hand she holds to his other hand, aiming the one closest to her to wrap around her shoulders if she’ll let him. A presence, of being there, of keeping his promise to her. "It'll be done before you know it." He hums to her, squeezing her hand gently, continuing the gentle soothing distractions.

if i let go, would you hold on?
would we fly?