give me a life time of promises (open)

Loren felt his lips twitch with the barest amount of amusement. "Well. As someone who hates being told to eat when I'm not hungry, I won't do that to you if you do the same for me." It came out almost in a conspiratorial tone. As Maea agreed that making their own map would probably be best, he nodded a bit absently. "Maybe after we explore the lighthouse." With that, he made his way towards the shrine. It was bright, and he shaded his eyes against the light. Astra immediately made her way to the edge, of course, but he stayed to hold the door for Maea. As he did, he stared at the offerings people had behind. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

She nodded, almost gravely. "Barring risk of actual starvation, you have yourself a deal," she promised. But added a silent addendum, that if he tried to ignore her if she ever had to invoke that clause, she would shove his own cookies down his throat. It seemed only fair.

Lingering by the door in a quiet contest of wills as both tried to hold the door for the other, Maea eventually relented and followed the luxere into the room beyond. Making room for Loren to follow after, she squinted against the bright light cast by the beacon, then looked around. Took in the shrine, the many offerings...

With a soft intake of breath, her gaze fell on the huge windows that overlooked the sea. In a few steps the girl had made it across the floor and stood with fingertips pressed against the glass, her eyes hungry as she took in the horizon.

"It... really never ends, does it," she said softly, a tone of awe in her voice as she stared at the ocean. The vast, wide expanse of blue, glittering beneath the brilliant sun.

Loren shrugged. "Deal." Then he raised his eyebrows. "Just to be clear, I never actually neglect myself to the point of starvation." Although he was too thin, he did in fact eat. Just not as much as he should. As Maea finally entered, he let the door close. Then he joined her and Astra in looking out the large windows. After the woman spoke, however, his eyes grew a little distant and sad. "Everything ends, in one way or another." It came out in a whisper, more to himself than anything else. His luxere looked at him with worried eyes and moved to press herself against his side. For his part, he turned to regard Maea. "What do you know about the gods?" Even he couldn't say why he was asking her. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

'Well, good', her smile seemed to say as she threw him a look over the shoulder. Meant she wouldn't have to actually enact her daring rescue plan. No doubt it would be an awkward affair for the both of them.

Maea hummed a noncommittal reply to the depressing reply, refusing to let his dolor ruin the moment. Once she had sated herself on the view, she began to roam the open space, examining the many interesting features of the room. She kept herself turned away from the strong light as much as possible, not wanting to risk her eyes against the blinding glow.

Loren's question made her look up, pale misty eyes regarding him with some curiosity. He'd just proffessed to be no favorite of the gods... but perhaps that was reason enough to want to know more.

"The basic knowledge everyone has," she replied, not minding the question. "Caido created the world, along with Vi, Rae and Mort. Together they created all that lives and grows and perish, and after Caido withdrew the Three have been governing the creation. They have their Herolds in Safrin, Frey and Ludo, but there are many gods beyond them. Some lesser, some greater - many of their names have been forgotten by those of us who lived beneath the barrier."

Tilting her head, she pursed her lips. "I've had personal encounters with Ludo. The others... I know less about. Only hearsay and second hand accounts. Is there anything specific you want to know about?"

Loren listened to Maea’s explanation of the gods without giving much away. Indeed, his face remained almost impassive, though he was clearly listening. "No specific reason." That wasn't strictly true—he'd wanted to talk to someone about Frey—but seeing as she couldn't help him he saw no need to press the issue. Instead, he decided to just gaze out towards the huge expanse of the sea. "What drew you to Ludo? And what have your encounters with it been like?" He turned so he could watch her out of the corner of his eyes. "I've had exactly one run in with it, and it was when someone called it down to punish me. Didn't make me eager to go seek it out." He'd gotten over his anger at that encounter, but his eyes still tightened as he recalled it. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

She looked at him for a moment, considering, but only nodded. Not pressing, if he didn't want to say. Responding to his questions, she smiled and shrugged - but there was sadness in her eyes, grief not yet grown old.

"My family passed away," she said, in way of explanation. "I was left alone with a farm to tend all on my own, no kin to help me... and my eyes were failing. About to go blind. I prayed for help, for some way to help myself and avoid becoming a burden on others. Ludo was the one who answered."

Strolling across the floor, she went back to the vast windows, her gaze distant as she looked out over the cliffs and the sea.

"Remi told me about the cruel and terrible things Ludo did to him. It seems you too have been treated poorly... and I'm sorry. For me, it was always a pleasant experience. It was kind to me, offered me help and advice... I was allowed to dance with my brother one last time, at the Fiat Lux before this one." A happier time, before the festival of light became one of nightmares.

"It seems I've been spared the more fickle sides of its nature." For good or bad, she wasn't sure.

Loren nodded slowly as Maea explained what happened with Ludo in her past. "I see. And did it ask something from you in return? Or test you somehow?" There wasn't any judgment in his voice, just a simple curious, one that was rare to see in him these days. As she spoke of the kindness that Ludo had shown her, he nodded absently. "I have always felt...lacking, whenever I speak to the gods. Perhaps it's because I'm...I don't know." Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "Because I am lacking, and less than deferential, and don't really understand what they expect of me." Reaching out, he rubbed Astra's head, needing a bit of comfort in that moment. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

She didn't mind the curiosity. Only smiled, happy to answer his questions when she could. "It wanted to come to the Fiat Lux festival," she replied, fond amusement coloring her voice. "So I invitied Ludo along, and we had a lovely time wandering the fair, looking at all the items. I bought a pinwheel for them... and later in the evening, we danced. It wore my brothers seeming, but it was still Ludo."

Not exactly a steep price for sight returned. In hindsight, it seemed more an excuse to do something nice than a real test... though of course she had paid a price for the restoration of her eyes.

Turning back to face Loren, she listened with quiet understanding to his conficted feelings towards the deities. "They are perfect, Loren. Or as close to perfection as anything can ever be. Of course we are lacking compared to them. I've found that it helps to keep in mind what it is I want from them. Only through that lense does it make sense when I get nothing, or get something.

"If you want their respect, it makes sense to treat them respectfully. If you want to gain their attention, then - " she shrugged, indicating the shrine with a gesture " - I wish you luck. Few things are truly impossible, and miracles happen every day on Caido."

Nodding at Maea’s explanation, Loren smiled weakly. It didn’t reach his eyes. ”Seems like a small price to pay." Absently, he stroked Astra's fur, trying to settle his increasingly troubled thoughts. "I know they're perfect. It's not that. I just..." his voice trailed off with an exasperated sigh, and he glanced at the woman with sad eyes. "Getting their attention isn't the problem. I can do that. And I am respectful when I do, I promise." Shrugging, he crossed his arms. "And I have been blessed by them, so I suppose I shouldn't be complaining at all." Shaking his head slowly, he leaned against a wall. "Never mind. It's not important." Indeed, he'd already retreated behind his mental walls, and his expression was blank again. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

Maea was quiet for a while, to see if he would say anything else. But when he did not, she came over and settled in beside him, her own back against the wall. Not too close, not trying to invade his space, just... there.

"Sounds like you think it is, though. Talk to me? Even if I can't help, I can always listen. Maybe I can at least point you in the right direction, if I know what this is about."

Even if she had no answers, others might. And who knew, perhaps she might surprise them both. But Maea did not push, just waited. Gave Loren time to think, decide if he wanted to continue with the topic.

Sighing, Loren ran a hand through his hair. He didn't answer Maea for a long while. When he did, it came out in a barely audible whisper. "I asked for Frey's help with something. They agreed, though asked me to...bring them a few things, do a few things in exchange." He bit his lip, more than a bit embarrassed to be revealing this. "So I did what I thought I was supposed to. I screwed up, though, and misunderstood what they were asking me. Thankfully, they weren't mad, and gave me another chance." He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "But they told me I was dull, as if my mourning was an affront to them." It came out with an exhausted and confused tone. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

Aha. Frey. That explained the confusion. And his reluctance to talk about it, as well. Maea kept her eyes fixed forward, trying to ignore that color had begun to creep up her cheeks. Her only encounter with that god had been at Sunjata's and Phoebe's disaster of a wedding, and that had been... uncomfortable. For so many reasons.

"I see," she answered, and was glad that at least her voice sounded calm. "I would... try not to put too much stock on that. Being called dull. I was always taught that Frey is... a force of nature. The embodiment of one single aspect of it. Being called dull by them... is the same as being called rigid by a river. Would the river understand your need to remain in one place, when it is ever moving?

"On the same line, why should a god of... procreation... bother with grief? It's just one fish lost in a sea full of them - and please don't take my head off for saying that. It is just speculation and a turn of phrase."

Maea threw him a glance, wary of any negative reactions. Loren did have a temper, she'd noticed, even if it had been thus far suppressed.

Nodding almost absently, Loren bit his lip. ”Yeah, no I know. I know what their nature is, and I’m not bothered by their reaction to me, honestly.” Sighing, he turned to stare out at the ocean once more. Astra pressed herself against his side and he reached down to pull her tight. He ran his free hand through his hair, though he didn't look at Maea. "I suppose what confuses me is that the other heralds they all seem to...give their followers tasks. Purpose, even. But Frey, they don't seem to want anything at all really. Not from me, at least." He shrugged. "Even when I spoke to Safrin, she asked for my loyalty. Frey just...doesn't seem to care." It came out quietly. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

The girl tilted her head, watching him from the corner of her eye. "They cared enough to show up for Phoebe's wedding," she pointed out. "So perhaps it's not so much about caring about you, as it is about caring for whatever you asked help with."

She hesitated, looked down at the luxere by his side. Twined her fingers with a stray lock of hair. "Would it... be terribly invasive of me to ask what it was? You don't have to answer, if it's too private."