give me a life time of promises (open)

As Maea mentioned Frey showing up the wedding, so caring in some way, Loren shook his head immediately. ”No this was unrelated. A personal request.” He stroked Astra’s fur with a bit more vigor than was strictly necessary, and she shook herself a little and gave him a reproachful look. Mouthing an apology at her, he gentled his movements. "I asked if they'd like a shrine, since the other gods seem to all have one dedicated to them, and they don't. They didn't. I asked if there was anything I could assist them with, and they said no." He shrugged. "It's not a huge deal it can just be...frustrating at times." At her question, he glanced at her a bit curiously. "I asked them to provide me with something to prevent my mind from being tampered with." The words were more than a bit embarrassed. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

"Hmm. Perhaps Frey is not the one you should go to, if you want a job," she smiled. "Not that I'm any expert, but they seem more the type to lounge about in the sun when given the chance... and when not. I asked Ludo if there was anything I could assist them with, and was given a fairly simple task...

"Perhaps you could consider speaking to it next time?" A gentle prod, as she didn't know whether he held a grudge for the curse or not. It would be understandable, if perhaps a bit regrettable.

As he mentioned the purpose he had asked for, the girl straightened and turned to look at him more fully, interest clearly piqued. "Indeed? What did they say about it?"

Loren hesitated, a troubled expression stealing across his features. "I feel like that would be a betrayal. Since Frey was the first one who answered my prayers, and they have spoken to me frequently. Given me good advice, even." Sighing, he shook his head. "And I don't like that Ludo seems prone to taking away memories." Indeed, his voice indicated just how worried he was by that possibility. Tapping his fingers against his thigh a bit anxiously, he glanced at Maea. "They didn't seem to mind, though they made me agree to the terms before I knew what they were. They asked me to reveal a deep and dark secret, one that might make someone hate me. They also asked for something real that people think is fake and something fake that people think is real." LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

"Ah, I can understand that," she nodded, relating to his allegiance for one god in particular. She was much the same, and always hoped to see Ludo over any of the others. "Still... if you ever want to try, I can always come with you? To make sure your memories aren't tampered with." She still couldn't quite grasp the idea that Ludo might do such a thing for no reason but she was willing to lend any support she could. Especially if it could help him get over this particular hurdle.

The riddle he revealed made her hum thoughtfully, eyes narrowing with something akin to delight as she began to turn it over. Searching for possible solutions, discarding and sorting ideas; Maea was fond of puzzles, though not necessarily good at them.

"Interesting. What did you try, that failed to pass approval?" she asked. Not that he'd asked for help, but the task intrigued her, and she was eager to hear more if Loren allowed her to.

Ever the Loreseeker, hungry to know.

As Maea offered once again to take Loren to see Ludo, he bit his lip. Astra pressed against his side as he nodded slowly. ”Alright. Maybe it’s worth a shot. Facing my fears and all that.” Still, his voice was far from certain. He flushed slightly, not quite able to meet her gaze. ”I’d...rather not say, if that’s alright.” Swallowing, he rubbed his thigh a bit nervously. "Let's just say that I betrayed my ignorance as an Outlander and leave it at that?" His words were quite reluctant, as was the expression he wore. "If you have any ideas, I'd be happy to hear them though. Trust me, you're unlikely to suggest things I've already tried." That much, he was quite sure of. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

It was clear his acceptance of the offer pleased her, but she managed not to make a big deal out of it. Just smiled widely and nodded, happy to leave it there for the time being.

"Oh, it's alright! You don't have to," she soothed when the yes was followed by a no. Maea was fascinated by his blush, hadn't thought to ever see his face color like that - he was always so poised, so in control of himself.

"But, well... the secret I suppose is something only you can determine. I can't think of anything so terrible that I would hate you for it... but that's just me." She pondered the other riddles again, fingers picking restlessly at the shawl while her mind worked. "As for the rest... something fake that seem real, something real that seem fake.... Hm. A piece of glass cut to look like a diamond on a ring? It might sparkle the same but wouldn't be real. Or perhaps an Ascended - I don't know if they truly are real humans anymore.

"The other one... is harder."

As Maea revealed she couldn't think of any secret she might hate Loren for he sighed. ”Give it time. I have a knack for pissing people off.” It was self-deprecating, but also very true. Nodding along with her suggestions, he shot her a confused glance as she brought up the Ascended. "Careful. Thats how genocides get committed and wars start. They're still human, same as I am even though I can turn into animals and can perform feats of magic the gods deem blasphemous." It was a gentle admonishment, and spoken rather evenly and without much inflection. "Glass cut in the shape of gems might work, true. You're right, the other tasks are harder." Tapping a hand against his thigh, he frowned slightly. "Maybe I'm being too literal. The secret isn't a tangible thing, after all." He shrugged, not at all convinced or sure of anything. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

The admonishment struck true, as did the reminder that they as abandoned were far from strange themselves. Maea lowered her head, ashamed that she couldn't seem to let go of the toxic mistrust she felt for the ascended. Even if it was getting better, even with her relation with a few of them steadily improving... it was still hard for her to accept them. Perhaps mostly because she was so adverse to the goddess they depended on.

"I'm sorry," she answered quietly. His lack of severity was almost worse than a true scolding; at least then she could have fallen back into defense. Like this, she was forced to look at her own prejudice straight on. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Something real that seemed fake.

"What about love?" she suggested, rather more subdued than before. "It can be real, but seem very fake to others. Especially if it's very new and unexpected... and not very appropriate." She brought her arms up around herself, fingers digging deep into the upper arms. Almost painfully so.

Loren shook his head slowly. ”I’m not really the one you need to apologize to.” The words still came out softly and without a reproachful or scolding tone. As Maea brought up the possibility of love, he barked out a humorless laugh. "Yes, well, I imagine that will be a little difficult for me to pull off these days." The words were bitter and guilty, and he bit his lip almost immediately. "Sorry. That was...sorry." Kneeling down, he hugged Astra, suddenly needing the comfort that his companion was always more than willing and able to provide. "Sounds like you've got something on your mind." Not quite able to meet the woman's eyes, instead he stared steadily out towards the ocean. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

Maea had no one else to turn to, so she kept hugging herself, staring bleakly out into the light of day as Loren laughed and then apologized. Really, what was there to be sorry for? She knew where his reaction came from and couldn't blame him for it, and was rather sorry for suggesting the theory in the first place.

Especially when he didn't let the subject drop.

There was a long silence. One heavy and filled with tumbling thoughts, as she tried to decide whether to tell him, whether he would judge her, whether it would change anything if anyone knew. Then she sighed. Bowed her head, to stare down at her feet, to the tips of worn shoes that poked out under the tattered hem of her skirts.

"Sunjata," she said.

Only his name. It was all the explanation Loren should need, to understand what a mess of a situation she had landed herself in.

When Maea revealed the name, Loren blinked, shock written large across his features. ”Sunjata.” It came out flatly, but unlike his previous monotone, this time his voice was laced with disapproval. However, it was unclear who or what he disapproved of exactly. "Are you kidding me? I'm going to murder him." It came out perhaps a bit too seriously. Shaking his head, he stood up. Putting his back against the wall, he regarded Maea cooly. "Let me guess. He seduced you with stories about how awful his life was, and you felt sorry for him. Then he said some sweet nothings about how conflicted and tortured he was about it all. Now he's got you wrapped around his finger, and yet he's treating you horribly." It came out almost angry, and his eyes flashed with a great deal of annoyance. LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

It was not at all the reaction she had expected. The disapproval, yes, and Maea took it to be directed at herself, so she cringed, shoulders rising as if to defend against some terrible blow. She knew it was a horrible mistake to get involved with Sunjata, had known it from the start and yet...

...and yet. The one Loren wanted to murder was Sunjata? The girl blinked. Looked up, very confused, a little worried at the utter lack of humor in Loren's tone.

Then she began to blush, as he went on to describe more or less the exact turns of her encounters with the Flood. Looking more and more mortified - how would Loren know all this, unless it had happened before? - she could only nod. Confirm, that yes... that's exactly what happened.

Except...

"He hasn't been horrible," she protested, voice a little weak but firm in her objection. "It's not... he just doesn't feel the same way as I do, that's all. And I shouldn't even expect it, after everything. Not so close after... that wedding." After Phoebe. After Lusea before that.

No, this was all on her, and it was clear from her expression that Maea really believed that.

"Uh huh. Which is why you can barely meet my eyes, and why you look like you're about to be cruel." Although Loren's words came out a bit tartly, his expression soon softened. "Look, I'm not saying he's a bad person, or that he intended to treat you poorly." He took a deep breath. "I am saying that he has a pattern of making bad decisions when it comes to relationships, and he should be held responsible for them, and recognize that. For instance, he's cheated on pretty much everyone he's been with in Caido." That came out with a bit of derision, though he immediately forced himself to calm down. "I'm also saying that, intentional or not, if he's been leading you on and playing with your emotions, that's not treating you as you deserve to be treated." Strangely enough, his voice was almost gentle and kind. Reaching out, he attempted to lay a comforting hand on Maea's shoulder. "But even if you don't think that, you're right, it's too soon for him to be jumping into another serious relationship. If, given the time and space to heal and think about what he wants from life, he want to pursue things with you when he's in a better place, then that's great." Assuming he'd been able to grasp her shoulder, he'd give her a gentle squeeze. "But not now." LOREN Not quite an open book

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

It hurt to hear this, all of it. Especially the part about his cheating, even though it wasn't a surprise. Sunjata had been only too eager to do that very same thing, and it had nearly broken them right from the start. And yet... he came back. And Maea forgave. She wasn't even sure why.

The hand on her shoulder made her flinch a little, but she didn't pull away. Leaned into it a fraction instead, grateful for the tone of sympathy, if nothing else. Actually, she was surprised Loren cared enough to say all this, given how brief their acquaintance was.

"I know," she sighed. "He's told me... a lot of things. And never tried to hide any of these things. It's just... really hard to stay away. I care too much."

Biting down hard on her lip to ward off the prickling behind her eyes, Maea drew a deep breath. Shrugged, helpless. What was she to do, really? They kept running into each other, even when she tried to keep to herself.