From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
02-18-2020, 08:07 PM (This post was last modified: 02-18-2020, 08:08 PM by Samuel.)
Thank you for finding me
And thank you for the care
While Sam was in Halo, recording histories and spending time with Loren, enjoying the sights of the Citadel, he felt the need to take some time out for his Goddess. After all, he was avoiding her request that he explore in Torchline, at least for the moment; the least he could do was make a show of faith.
The Fangs were still quite intimidating, despite his previous exploration there; he had asked Loren to accompany him both to spend some more time with the man outside of the bedroom (not that he didn't enjoy their trysts, but a relationship could not be made of only lust) and in the hopes that if there was any trouble along the journey, the Launceleyn would be able to help him.
Hoping to make something of a pleasant hike out of it, Sam reached to hold Loren's hand as they began to set off from the Citadel to the Shrine, an offering in his bag. The Voice did not take many offerings, but it was more about the show of respect than anything else. Looking to Loren, Sam asked: "You...said you'd spoken to the Voice once before. Why did you go to her?"
02-18-2020, 08:20 PM (This post was last modified: 02-18-2020, 09:08 PM by Loren.)
After the emotional turmoil of the last few days silly timelines it was almost a relief when Sam asked Loren to accompany the Ascended out to the Fangs. Astra ranged ahead, happily jumping into snowdrifts then coming back to shake out her wet fur on them. The healer smiled faintly at her, though his eyes were a bit troubled as they ascended the mountains.
Dressed in a cloak and gloves on top of the rest of his clothes, which were all black, he'd mostly been silent during their trek. The other man's question drew the Launceleyn's mind back from the distant places it had wandered. "I didn't, really." He shrugged, and ran a hand through his hair. "Rexanna needed some magic ice to get new eyes. So Deimos and I accompanied her when she went to get healed." It came out quietly and more than a bit distractedly.
It was nice to see Astra so pleased to be out in the snow, happily bouncing about before them; Sam smiled at her too, wishing his companion was suited for this kind of weather.
Loren had clearly been the opposite of his Luxere, distant and distracted. With all that had happened lately (and more Sam was sure he wasn't aware of, life in Caido was never boring) it was understandable, but he hoped he might be able to drawn Loren out of the hole he'd dug his mind into with some conversation. After all, that was almost why he'd suggested the arrangement for them. A guaranteed person to talk to, to be yourself with, to try and escape the horrors of the world with.
"Oh, I see." He nodded, not surprised that The Voice had apparently ignored Loren then, if it was during such an important moment for Rexanna. "You know...I didn't see The Voice, after I ascended, for nearly ten years. It's still odd to me now, that she's so easily met by so many. I heard in other worlds their Gods don't appear at all, sometimes...waiting like that, wishing to see the one you've worshipped for so long...it must be hard."
Stepping over a rock in the path, he looked up to the sky, where lazy snowflakes drifted down. "Did you dislike being Abandoned? Before you changed? Some people seem to hate it...others take it as almost a kind of pride."
Loren glanced at Sam. ”But she answers you now?” There was something almost wistful in the healer’s voice. ”And you have a good relationship with her?" Astra came trotting up, and he gave her a scratch behind her ears. She bleated happily, before bounding over to the Ascended.
Sighing, the Launceleyn ran a hand through his hair. "My world didn't have gods, so adjusting to this one was actually the hardest part. I'm still not...well." He smiled awkwardly. "Let's just say my interactions with them haven't been all that smooth." Shrugging, he gave the other man a rueful expression.
At Sam's next question, Loren rubbed one arm a bit nervously. "I...have a complicated relationship to magic, I guess you'd say. But I try to view it as a gift." Giving the Ascended a curious look, the healer bit his lip. "If you don't mind me asking, when and why did you choose to Ascend?" He found himself keeping his eyes trained towards the front, not sure if that was an appropriate question to ask.
"Mhm. Very good. She is like the mother I did not have." Sam smiled. His biological mother was still alive, but he had not spoken to her in some years now, barely saw her out in the street anymore, especially not since his fathers death. In The Voice he found a nurturing presence he'd never experienced - perhaps was too old to seek out, but found comfort in regardless.
He patted Loren's arm comfortingly. "From what I've heard...and my own experience...a lot of people have bumpy times with the Gods. They can be fickle...and I don't think they understand humans very well a lot of the time." As much as he loved The Voice, she didn't seem to always grasp why he felt certain ways.
"A gift. It certainly is one, a lot of the time." Being ignored by the Gods had it's downsides, but the ability to bend the world around you to your whims...it was a rather grand repayment.
Loren's question made him go quiet for a moment, a soft sigh leaving Sam's lips. "Well...I didn't choose. Not really. My parents.... they made me go to the Shrine; I think they hoped it would make me...better, somehow." Bitterly he shook his head. "I was 16. The Voice let me grow a while longer, but I've been Ascended ever since."
Smiling a little sadly, Loren gave Sam a sympathetic look. "That's good. Though I'm sorry to hear you didn't have the best relationship with your actual mother." The last part of the healer's statement came out a bit uncertainly. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "What...what is it like interacting with The Voice?" It came out slightly hesitantly, and softly.
Nodding, he shrugged. "They made us, though." Rubbing his hands together a bit awkwardly, he bit his lip. "I can't imagine you've been called ignorant, dull, and unexciting by the gods, though. Or cursed." There wasn't really any bitterness in his voice, just a sad tone.
Looking over at the Ascended, the Launceleyn studied the other man's features for a moment. "You seem oddly comfortable with magic for a Natural." There was a question lurking in Loren's voice.
Then it was his turn to reach out. Though his expression was horrified at Sam's admission, the healer laid a hand on the Ascended's shoulder and gave it a gentle and comforting squeeze. "I'm sorry. That they did that to you. And..you seem plenty fine to me." Swallowing, the Launceleyn let his hand slip back to his side. "Do you wish that they...hadn't?"
Sam shrugged. It had been so long since he'd hoped for anything with his mother, the wound had mostly closed over by now; in fact, when he'd received the letter informing him his father had died, he'd been surprised by how little emotion the whole thing had brought from him for either of his parents. "The Voice is very comforting. Nurturing. She..." Sam paused, hummed. "...Can hide things, from time to time, that I wish she didn't, but she doesn't have bad intentions."
Well, no, he'd never been called any of those specific things...but the Gods had tried to burn him with sunlight before and well. Their opinion on Ascended was quite clear without anything specifically being aimed at him.
"I don't have a reason to be uncomfortable with it. I haven't been a Natural for a very long time...and I have abilities the Old Gods don't approve of." While his upgrades weren't quite the same as magic, they were similar enough for the comparison. "I've always thought the Abandoned and the Ascended should be allies to each other. A lot in common, after all."
He smiled and put his hand over Loren's gratefully, glad that the summoner cared enough to be upset on his behalf. "I used to. I still...wonder what my life would have been like, honestly. If they hadn't. But over the years I've come to like being Ascended...more when it's due to things I like about it, I suppose, instead of things my parents wanted it to be." Sam didn't really know what it was his father had expected from the Ascension, but he knew he hadn't met the expectation. "Thank you. For being kind about it. I..appreciate kindness, now. It seems a lot of people have forgotten it."
Frowning slightly, Loren gave Sam an appraising look. "That sounds pretty nice. I'm curious what sorts of things she keeps from you." Although the healer's voice was intrigued, he also wasn't prying.
His frown deepened. "What do you mean, you haven't been a Natural for a long time? Wait do you mean Accepted?" Giving the Ascended an apologetically confused look, the Launceleyn shrugged. "The Voice dislikes and distrusts us just as much as the old gods do, so I don't know that such an alliance would be possible." Holding up a placating hand, Loren tilted his head to the side. "I don't have a problem with her personally so long as she doesn't have a problem with me." It came out neutrally and politely.
Falling silent as the other man spoke of his task, Loren gave Sam a sympathetic and understanding look at the end of it. "I'm glad to hear that you've come to accept it." It came out hesitantly, as if the healer wasn't sure he'd gotten it quite right.
Rubbing a hand nervously against his thigh, he shook his head. "You're welcome. But I...I wouldn't expect much kindness from me." His voice was quiet and sad, and he quickly rushed to fill the silence. "What do you know about my family?"
"Well...um...have you heard of the Prince?" Sam asked quietly, looking out across the snow with a frown on his face - he'd been conflicted about the strange creature he'd seen underground for some time now.
Loren pointed out his mistake and he laughed, nodding. "Yes, sorry. You confused me with the word. I meant Accepted; I haven't been one in so long it feels completely removed from me." Especially as he had hardly ever seen the Gods as a child, so he'd never used his privileges when he had them. "The Voice is kinder to the Abandoned than the Old Gods, in my experience...she helped Rexanna to ascend, after all. I've seen her talk to Abandoned quite willingly...after all, she did not abandon them." There was clear confusion in his voice, Sam not recognising his Goddess in what Loren said.
As for not expecting much kindness...he raised an eyebrow. "Then you've given me a wrong impression. So far, you've been nothing but a gentleman and a friend to me." Reaching for Loren's hand again, he tried to squeeze it. "I don't know that much about them, really. Just that Zariah is your cousin, and you were powerful mages in your world...? Tell me more."
Loren nodded. "I've met him." Giving Sam a slightly hesitant look, the healer ran a hand through his hair. "He's supposedly one of The Voice's failed creations." It came out softly, as if he wasn't certain how the Ascended would react to hearing the Prince was a prototype, abandoned and alone.
Raising a hand, the Launceleyn removed a glove. For just a moment, claws replaced his fingertips. "The old gods answer Abandoned as well." Lowering his hand, he shrugged. "And I've been told that The Voice wouldn't share her power easily or willingly with an Abandoned, unless they were willing to Ascend like Rexanna did." He studied Sam's features. "That she does not wish to create another like her, someone she can't control." It was quiet, and not accusatory, simply laying out the facts.
Although the healer let the Ascended squeeze the Launceleyn's hand, he brought it to his chest and rubbed it nervously afterwards. "I...yes. Not exactly the right impression." It came out a little guilty, and he closed his eyes briefly.
Opening them, he bit his lip. "They were...are...not good people. Myself included." The words were spoken barely above a whisper, more to himself than to the other man.
Hearing that Loren had actually met the Prince drew a surprised look from Sam, who had not expected such familiarity. "I know. I went to the underground to try and find him...I was hoping I could take him to The Voice so she might cure him, now that she knows how to make us better...he wouldn't come with me." Sam sighed, shook his head. "But my point is I never heard about him from her - she never told us." He supposed he could see why, but it still didn't quite sit right with him.
He didn't know if Loren was right, but he supposed he wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. "Ah. Well...I still think Ascended and Abandoned could have more in common than they might initially think, if they looked."
Loren's degrading comments aimed at himself made Sam frown, the words seemingly obviously untrue. "You aren't your family. I can only judge you from how you treat me Loren...and so far, that's wonderfully. Why are you trying to sully our relationship by telling me how bad you are? I think you're rather lovely. Until you actually do something to change that, if you ever do...I'll keep thinking it."
02-20-2020, 11:12 PM (This post was last modified: 02-21-2020, 01:47 PM by Loren.)
Loren studied Sam's features. "Yeah, he resisted being healed when Amalia and I visited him." Then the healer tilted his head to the side. "Did you ask The Voice? And why does that bother you that she didn't tell you?" Although his voice was soft, he had a slightly confused expression on his face.
Giving the Ascended a curious look, the Launceleyn crossed his arms. "Like what?" It was a genuine question, and he found that he actually wanted to hear the other man's thoughts on the subject.
"Because you don't really know me, Sam." Looking ahead, Loren bit his lip. He trudged through the snow in silence for a moment. "And I know I'll fuck this up somehow." The words were barely above a whisper, but they carried a great deal of sorrow.
"Well, because it affects me." Sam tried to keep his voice calm on this topic, which frustrated him. "Regularly the Voice won't tell us, or won't help us fix, things that make other people hate us. Judge us. The Prince makes all of us look bad...I would have appreciated some kind of warning that he existed. That he could be found." Then there was the more vulnerable reason, one that made Sam sigh and look off before speaking. "And...it's scary. To know I could have been the same as him. How do I know my body won't one day malfunction like that? It's...it was just unpleasant to find out the way I did, I suppose."
As for the Abandoned and the Ascended; Sam frowned, not having much more to say than he already had. "Just that...we are thought of as lesser by the Old Gods and have special abilities. That people look down on us, sometimes."
Loren continued to predict doom for their future; Sam recognised that self flagellation and certainty it would go wrong from himself, but somehow when it was from someone else, he could see how foolish it was. "I'm getting to know you...what else would you suggest I do? Just leave, because eventually you might make a mistake? I'm enjoying your company, Loren. I can't be the only one who has. After all, Abasi loved you, didn't he?" The last question asked softly, Sam gently touched Loren's arm.
Loren bit his lip. Rubbing a hand against his thigh a little nervously, he tilted his head to the side. "Why do you think she keeps things from you?" Then, his expression softened. Reaching out he laid a hand on Sam's shoulder. "You're not going to end up like the Prince." It came out with as much reassurance as the healer could muster.
However, his hand slipped away from the Ascended's shoulder. "But you have The Voice to look after you," the Launceleyn pointed out, trying to keep his tone reasonable. However, his eyes tightened a bit at the reminder that none of the gods liked the Abandoned.
Hesitating, he hugged one of his arms to his chest. When the other man brought up Abasi, though, Loren halted, no longer pushing through the drifts. Astra, sensing his distress came to him and gave him a nuzzle. He stroked her head absently, but affectionately. "We never..." Voice trailing off, he swallowed. "We never actually said...the words." Closing his eyes, he forced himself to take a deep breath.
Still standing there, swaying a bit, he opened his eyes again and sought out Sam's. "I'm sorry. It's...hard for me to believe that people would enjoy my company, or want to get to know me. And it's hard for me to open up to them." The healer ran an anxious hand through his hair. "I could explain why..." The words trailed off, though his tone was open to the possibility of sharing more.
