like the way it used to be

ronin A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets Since his jaunt in the smugglers' tunnels with Bastien and Rexanna, his old friend (and since when had Bastien gained that strange status?) had been on Ronin's mind. It might explain, then, why the hunter sent an invite to him, asking if he might like to drop by one evening at the R&R wagon where it was settled on the beach. It was a near permanent fixture these days, since Remi and Ronin had stopped running from their problems and each other. When the Ascended arrived, if indeed he decided to come, it would be to find Ronin lounging on the sand next to a merrily burning fire, a roll of parchment in his lap and a piece of charcoal in hand so he could sketch. He was outlining the leafy canopies infringing upon the shore, the slope of the beach, the glittering ocean... and a figure walking towards him. Let's see if he could tell the future in his sketches.

Bastien

Bastien had been delighted to earn a further invitation from Ronin, especially given the man's notice that he would no longer be returning to the Hollowed Ground. He had few close friends that he'd count among his ranks and did not want to lose another. Besides, he thought it was a good sign, after Ronin's journey into the depths of grief.

Happily arriving across the beach, sandals held in his hand as he enjoyed the sand on his feet, he waved at Ronin. "Hello! Wow, this is beautiful, ah?" Bastien gestured out to the sea then sat next to Ronin in the sand, going to clap him on the shoulder and pull away, pausing when he saw the drawing. "And you're even drawing! A true paradise. It is good. You know, there is something I could ask of you..."

Let's pretend this song won't end

And we never have to go home

ronin A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets It was beautiful, and Ronin glanced up in time to see Bastien come striding through the foliage just as he had been sketching. Lowering the parchment, he grinned at the Ascended and shifted to sit up a bit. "It's good to see you," he said to the other man, accepting the greeting and choosing not to mar Bastien's clothes with charcoaled hands in return. "What do you think?" He held up the sketch of arguably the Ascended's approach, making sure to put a suitably mystical expression on. But there was something he could ask of him? That was odd, though he felt warmed by the prospect. It felt good, to help people again (even if his temper chose to flare at the worst times, these days). "Is that so? What can I do for you?"

Bastien

Bastien studied the sketch, deeply serious for a moment, the face of an art appraiser, then he broke into a smile. "It is wonderful. Quick work, to be sure, but a good sketch. Gestural and loose; a most handsome fellow in the middle as well." With a wink he moved away then, sitting a little further away from the fire than Ronin; after all, it would not be kind to his Ascended body if he got too close.

When Ronin asked what he could do Bastien grinned and began to speak excitedly, gesturing and looking out to the sea and back to the Demi God. "You know my Artist's Sanctuary is in the Hollowed Ground. It is doing well, there, helping people to access their creativity. To harness their inner self. We have projects and parties. It is a success." He smiled to think of it, his own little empire.

"But I am not here to brag. The flaw with the Sanctuary is that it is so localised. Perhaps it is a symptom of my own settling, ah. Marriage, the home, soon children, we are thinking -- it has tied me down." Hopefully the mention of children wouldn't hurt Ronin too much; Bastien gave him an apologetic look before continuing. "I love where I am, yet I would like the guild to travel beyond me. How could I do this? Well. What if I were to appoint ambassadors in each of the regions? Disciples to do the same work, give people that same space elsewhere? I could bring supplies, we could work together for some events...a way to bring joy to people everywhere, as well as some connectivity."

Pausing for a moment to let Ronin take that in, he picked up some sand and idly played with it with one finger, slowly drawing swirling designs. "I thought to ask you because you are talented and charismatic. People would listen to you, if you began such a group here. What do you think?"

Let's pretend this song won't end

And we never have to go home

ronin A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets "You know, I rather thought so too," Ronin said of the handsome fellow in his sketch, grinning and carefully rolling up the parchment that he could speak to Bastien properly. A smile flickered across his face as he spoke about the Artist's Sanctuary; he remembered well the times at his own guildhall, at feeling like part of a group, feeling as though things were clicking into place. And Bastien deserved all that happiness and more. But the sudden turn in conversation, the way the spotlight was suddenly on Ronin? His eyes widened a bit, the Dark Star quite unsure what to say. "Uh... I mean, I'm flattered," he said; an ambassador for the Sanctuary certainly sounded shiny. "I don't know if I am that person any more though, Bastien... Talented and charismatic are not words I would really associate with myself these days. I don't know if I would be able to take that on - I'm sorry."

Bastien

Ronin's rejection of his offer was disheartening but not entirely unexpected; given the man's recent circumstances, Bastien had half-known he would not have had his offer taken up. With a smile he nodded, waved a hand. "Then do not worry about it. Though perhaps I can ask, if you do see that man again, you keep this in mind, in case he would like to do it...?" With a wink, Bastien left it there.

There was plenty to talk about, anyway. For a moment just looking out at the sea, Bastien kept his eyes there when he began to speak again: "So...who are you now, Ronin? I would like to know my friend. How would you say the last months have changed you?" The question was a little odd, perhaps, but Bastien's soft voice and the way he glanced over to Ronin made it clear he was inviting Ronin to talk about his pain, if he wanted to.

Let's pretend this song won't end

And we never have to go home

ronin A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets Ronin smiled, equally parts grateful and sad at his friend's gracious acceptance. "I thank you. Should I ever see that man again I rest assured that he would be delighted at that opportunity." He nodded to Bastien, before settling back to lean on his elbows, also watching the dark waves lap against the shore. The question was expected in some ways - Bastien knew how to ask things that could be difficult in a way that made it no more than casual conversation. Still, it took Ronin some time to respond. "I am better than when I arrived. I do not know yet how this has changed me, only that..." He frowned, unable to put it easily into words. "I am harder around the edges. There's a lot of anger in me, Bastien, and I worry that it will come out at the worst moments. It's not an easy line to walk."

Bastien

"Good. Thank you." As much as he did not like to put expectations on the future (sure fire way to be disappointed), Bastien hoped that one day Ronin might come around to the idea; it would be a reprieve from the more difficult areas of his life if nothing else. He'd found his own guild to be indeed a Sanctuary, a space dedicated to the simple goals of art and togetherness, a gem in the midst of the...well, shit, that was life in Caido.

He nodded slowly, carefully at Ronin's words. While Bastien had not experienced much grief himself (especially not anything to this magnitude), he had spoken to many a heartbroken or devastated man. They had always seemed to gravitate to him.

"Well, the anger will need to come out." He agreed simply at first, then looked across. "As it did at the temple." There was no judgement in this, just a statement;personally he did not think the spirit of the Gods lived in the building, and no one had died (just a cheeky bit of paralysing). "I...know this may seem like a stupid question, but humour me: Who, or what, are you angry at?"

Let's pretend this song won't end

And we never have to go home

ronin A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets Ronin could only nod in quiet agreement at Bastien's words, unsure quite when his friend had become so wise in his ways. (It was the marriage, he bet). "It will," he murmured. "...And it did, yes. I wish I could say that the majority of it came out then, but in truth that was just shock. There's a fire been set in me since that day, and though I want to do good--" Safrin has told me to, "I don't know when it will all come roaring out." He rubbed at his forehead, glancing to the Ascended and smiling sadly. "Is it not obvious?" he said. "It came out as anger at the gods, but... it's myself who bears the brunt of that fury. I wasn't there. I didn't do anything to stop it. I didn't spend enough time with her, or tell her how special she was, or make sure every single day of her life was wonderful. I'm angry at myself, Bastien, for all of the ridiculous reasons of grief. Knowing it is unproductive does little to calm me down."

Bastien

Bastien would have liked to think he'd always been wise, though admittedly Rexanna's influence had probably brought out more of this side of him. The side he'd often thought of as his nosy meddler side, but something in him that did genuinely want to help people through their problems, reframe them and give them back so they might be easier to see.

Of course, doing that with something as hard as Ronin's problems was not feasible...but he could try to at least ease the way to some kind of recovery. "Well...maybe it's not all unproductive. It's a part of getting through it...and when you've done it, you can look back on it and know you did your feeling guilty so you can stop...eventually." When that would be he couldn't say - months? Years? Decades? But one day, he thought Ronin would be able to look back and feel...if not peace, at least closure, over this.

"What I will say, and I know the angry man in you won't listen - but Ronin, in the moments I saw you and your daughter...I've never seen a father so dedicated or a little girl so entranced. We are all going to make mistakes, but...given the circumstances of her birth? You gave Aoife the best she could have asked for and more after that, my friend. Let no one, not even yourself, tell you different."

Let's pretend this song won't end

And we never have to go home

ronin A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets Bastien's strange logic in the face of something Ronin had condemned as useless was... comforting, and surprisingly so. Pinching sand between his fingers and letting it trickle back to the beach, he glanced sidelong at his friend and conceded his point with a gentle nod. "Eventually, perhaps..." It was a difficult thing to agree with, but Ronin was no longer so unreasonable and self-absorbed in the loss of his daughter that he did not see that there was something that came after. And as Bastien continued to speak, the Dark Star gazed forward again, clearing his throat as he felt the traitorous sting of tears start to form at the corner of his eyes. "...Thank you," he said roughly, unsure how far he wanted to go in his thoughts about Aoife. Just when he thought he had built a dam against the tide of it all, things trickled through and it all came crashing down. "Should you and Rexanna ever have children, do not waste a moment with them, Bastien. Cherish every second."

Bastien

Ronin's responses clearly showed that he was finding this difficult, but Bastien could see that he was trying and more than that, succeeding at slowly crawling his way out of the hole he'd found himself in. "You're welcome." He smiled, thinking it was a good idea now to change the topic before Ronin cried - he'd felt it was important to say something, but time with friends was meant to be a relief.

"Oh, I will. Believe me, there is nothing more I want now - I never did, yet now I have Rexanna...suddenly I crave the family life. My father would laugh." They'd always disagreed on how life should be lived, Bastien preferring the wild sex and drugs lifestyle of his hedonistic art houses and his father wanting him to live a traditional set of wife, children, steady work.

"Of course, I don't know if..or how it will happen. The traditional method won't work." Hopefully chatting about his own potential future children could be more of a distraction to Ronin than salt in the wounds. "We will have to speak to The Voice...ah. A rather taboo subject for you, hm?"

Let's pretend this song won't end

And we never have to go home

ronin A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets On the contrary, it was rather a pleasant distraction to talk of other things - even other children, other families, and Bastien might find himself surprised that the smile that flickered across Ronin's face was absolutely genuine. "It sounds as though you have found where you want to be in life," he said warmly. "I can only commend you for that, Bastien. I can only apologise that I was blighted when your wedding took place. I shall have to paint you a belated wedding present." He smirked. The Voice wasn't his favourite subject, but Ronin was not quite so pious or righteous to judge someone by their god. "It would be a lie to say that I support her, but... if she can bring my friend happiness, I hope that she does so without any strings attached." He smiled.

Bastien

Bastien, now that he was a few seasons on from it, regretted that he and Rexanna had held their wedding during the time of the blight; at the moment it had seemed important to do it as soon as possible, to damn the consequences and yell his love at the skies...but it had meant a lot of his dear friends had not been able to attend. "We are hoping to hold a sort of...anniversary vow renewal ceremony, a second wedding perhaps, at the beginning of this Deepfrost. You are of course, welcome to attend then, if you would overcome your imposed travel ban from the Ground for a night."

Ronin's answer on the Voice was diplomatic enough and Bastien smiled, not wanting to further push the matter. "I see. I share the same hope." He had no interest in converting Ronin or anyone else, just wanted a casual peace and acceptance.

"So...I have not yet seen Remi. Has he been keeping busy with your new wagon venture?" He asked, looking back to see the store the two men had begun running.

Let's pretend this song won't end

And we never have to go home