[SE][OPEN] cleansing ritual

these voices won't leave me alone

Delphia rarely missed, but Leafchange had a way of bringing out her most human of traits.

It was the season dedicated to the dead after all, dedicated to remembering what was and who had been, and even she, bright and accepting as she was in the face of the inevitable journey to her father's realm, was not fully immune to wishing she could reach beyond the veil to see those she once knew if only for a time. Today, it was her mother she yearned for, and so it was in her honor that she would spend her time.

The shores on which she had been born and raised were too far to reach, and so instead she contented herself with the shores of the Stonesong. The Whispershore in particular was soothing as the whispers of the spirits intertwined with the whispering waters. "My sweet girl, when your heart is tempted to mourning, remember the things you did together, and enjoy them once more. Familiarity brings healing and peace." Her mother's words seemed to dance among the others, as if sent to her from Mort himself. It was in this way, by indulging in the things she had done with her mother, that she would honor her memory.

Donned in the priestesses ritual garb, flowing fabrics, ethereal and soft, she knelt on the shore. "Once a week we must cleanse our spirits, or they will grow heavy with the weight of the dead. Call upon your ancestors souls to protect you while you are most vulnerable to those which would do you harm." Circe's instructions whispered down from the beyond and she obeyed, reaching into her spiritual powers to call upon those around her. And as always they came, slow moving, but ebbing and flowing with familiarity and affection. Not the spirits of her ancestors perhaps, but those that had lived in harmony amongst her family for many generations. Soon, their whispers took the place of Circe's, their familiar hum soothing to the ache of her mourning.

"Rosemary and sage in the flame, to cleanse the lungs and blood. Cedar oil to the temple, to cleanse the etheric body of negativity. Ylang Ylang oil down the sternum, thanking the mother for the body she gave to hold your soul. Patchouli oil along the throat and lower back to settle the emotional body. Then tea tree and flowing water to wash away all that weighs on the mind, body, and soul."

The instructions were slow and from the corner of her eye she almost could make out her mother's form, following along her motions as she once had in life. She chanted low in the tongue Circe had taught her, prayers of thanks and love spoken for the woman Mort had chosen to bring her into this second life. First the small fire was lit, bundles of rosemary and sage releasing thick white clouds of cleansing smoke. Slowly to breathed it in through her nose and exhaled through her mouth even as the light breeze guided the smoke over her lithe frame. Guided by the spirits she alone could hear, she cast aside the flowing gown so as not to be hindered in her ritual. Cedar oil was pressed into her temples then run along her forehead. Ylang Ylang drawn in cleansing symbols from her collarbone down to her navel. Patchouli oil liberally smeared along her lower back and throat, soaking away her pain and sadness. Here she paused, allowing the ritual to do its work, already feeling the yearning she felt beginning to fade away. Only when the smoke began to thin as the fire burned out did she rise, wading into the cool flowing waters of the Stonesong, tea tree oil infused soap in hand. She lathered and scrubbed, sighing in relief as she felt the negative energy she had been collecting wash away down the stream, carried away so she might once again be light and whole.

"I am a foolish girl still, mother, to have forgotten this valuable lesson." she said softly both to herself and to those spirits she had gathered.

DELPHIA

Coding base by Sky!

Maea

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain

Longing for other times had brought another to the river, and the scent of herbs and smoke drifting on the wind guided her downstream until the river flowed past the stonestrewn banks of the Whispershore. Maea found Delphia in the midst of what in her eyes seemed like a complicated bath, and she remained quiet, not wishing to disturb whatever it was the girl was doing. She settled herself on a rock by the river's edge, side turned to offer Delphia some measure of privacy.

"You're not alone in being foolish," she offered, when the other woman spoke to herself - or to the spirits? - but it was said with a smile. "Tell me about your folly, and I'll share mine?"

Not really an adequate greeting, but..  normal rules didn't seem to apply with the demigod.

Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

these voices won't leave me alone

Delphia did not respond right away, instead dipping fully under the water to completely remove the ritual soap from her hair and body, enjoying the weightless feeling of the water. Only when her lungs ached for air did she surface, head flicking back to send her long dark locks back into place. "Folly is one of my more human traits." she said softly as she waded back out of the river, feeling calm and at peace, once again feeling aligned with her soul and the spirits she so loved.

Tilting sideways, completely unconcerned with her nakedness as she stood on the shoreline, the demigoddess set to wringing out her tresses. "I have neglected my weekly cleansing, which washes negativity and spiritual residue away. Today I felt preoccupied with memories of my mother, and realized that through the spirits she was trying to remind me of the lessons she had taught me." she said softly, a melancholic smile curving her lips. "What folly have you fallen prey to?"

DELPHIA

Coding base by Sky!

Maea

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain

Maea listened, in the way she was wont to do. With rapt attention, her whole being focused on the person in front of her, as if she was listening with more than just her ears. Watching, feeling, tasting every word, expression, as if it might somehow help her understand better what was said. Whether it worked was... questionable.

"Isn't it possible you simply missed her?" she asked gently. "Though I understand the comfort in holding to certain traditions... I've lost touch with all of mine recently." Self inflicted though it was, as she'd sold her home and moved away from the Grounds... Maea still felt the lack of roots at times.

She made a bit of a face when the question was reflected back, amused and annoyed with herself.

"Love," she replied with a shrug. "I met a man that screamed of trouble and heartache, and let myself get close enough to develop feelings for him. And now I reap the just reward, wading knee deep in trouble and heartache both." Maea tucked a strand of hair behind an ear. Her eyes moved, flitted briefly over Delphia - far more concerned with the woman's state of undress than her - to the soap and herbs that had been used.

"Would your ritual help with my problems too, you think?" she asked, more than a little curious.

Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

these voices won't leave me alone

Delphia laughed a little, the haunted sound ringing clearly in the crisp cool air. "It is because I missed her that her words came to me. The memories of the ritual, the comfort of the familiar...and so I remembered how long it had been since I had done so." she said, the corners of her eyes crinkling with a hint of a smile. Her head tilted though, when Maea said she had lost touch with her own traditions. "Perhaps then, you ought to find time to perform one or two. It will soothe your soul." she said softly.

She hummed low as Maea told her tale, allowing the sun alone to dry her skin as her fingers roughly combed through her hair. "Love is never folly. It is a gift from Mort himself." she said. "And if he was trouble then...is it not better to cherish what was good and be grateful to have only gone far enough to have that?" she asked, curious herself.

Delphia glanced to the embers of the fire and the jars of oils she still had strewn about. "It would certainly do no harm." she said as she twisted her hair into a messy knot atop her head.

DELPHIA

Coding base by Sky!

Maea

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain

"Aah, that makes sense," Maea hummed, when Delphia explained her reasoning a bit further. "I almost wish I had something like that still... but all the traditions and rituals I had were tied to the farm where I lived. And since I don't have that anymore... I don't know. With no animals to feed and care for, no food to prepare, no family to accommodate..." She shrugged. "I don't really know what's left but memories."

Pulling her feet up beneath herself to sit crosslegged on the rock, she let the dark shawl fall from her shoulders, to pool about the elbows. The sun was bright and warm, but not quite enough to burn like it had in the season now behind them, and Maea relished the newfound freedom. Her own hair hung loose and unbound, to flow down the back, and silky strands were frequently brought forth to tickle her face by errant gusts of wind.

"Mmmh, you assume I've had the wisdom to step away from what's hurting me," she said, with a wistful little smile. "The love in itself is not a problem, really. It's the morals and expectations surrounding it that makes it complicated. I want and need certain things, and he want and need other things... and right now, we're struggling to find a common ground where both are happy." It was grossly simplifying it, but also a very succinct summary of the situation. After her randesvouz with Sunjata after the game with Ludo in Torchline, she at least knew that there was no lack of love from either side. It was just... everything else that gave her headaches.

Her gaze landed on the utensils Delphia had used. The smoke rising from the glowing embers curled and coiled in the air, thin and wraithlike in the sunlight. It seemed a bit peculiar to hold rituals of any kind in the day, and not at night. But perhaps that was just a preconceived notion of how things should be, for maximum spookiness. And that... had not really been the point either.

"Could you teach me how?" Maea asked her friend, softly enough that a 'no' would be perfectly alright. "Maybe I could make some new traditions, to replace the ones I've lost... I'd love something to remember you by, when it gets lonely."

A weird way to say 'I missed you', but the meaning was there.

Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

these voices won't leave me alone

"Nothing to care for you say? What of that Will-o-Wisp about your shoulder?" she said with a light laugh. "And are friends not similar to family? Can they not be accommodated?" she asked, tilting her head at the pale girl. "Tradition need not be so stringent that it cannot grow as life changes. This ritual I used to do with my mother...it was never in the river or the ocean, but in flowing hot sulfur springs." she said, shrugging a bit. "Keep the practice wherever you are, with whoever you are with, and the tradition lives on."

But it seemed Maea's heart was far more troubled over this man than she thought. While she spoke at length, Delphia slipped on the flowing gown over her lithe frame. "It is hard for me to understand, because I love everyone, as is the nature I attained from my father. But..." she laughed a little and shook her head. "You make it sound so complicated. If it is love, what you need is what they need." she said, cocking her head to the side, looking at Maea curiously. "So do you really love him, and does he really love you? Or do you both simply love the idea of loving?" she asked.

"Playing tag with Cat Sith is not enough to remember me by?" she joked, laughing lightly. But she would certainly not deny Maea her request. "Come then. Let me teach you what my mother taught me so many years ago."

DELPHIA

Coding base by Sky!

Maea

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain

"I... yes, of course they count. Most of the relations I have with others are so fresh though. There's nothing to really fall back on, yet." Maea gave the will-o-wisp a rueful glance, so used to it trailing along in her wake already that she hadn't thought to present it to Delphia. But the wisp didn't seem to care, just drifted over to the other woman and made a loop around her head, its light pulsing curiously.

"I call it Shii," she offered. "It remembers you, from the night with the Cat Sith. It bonded to me when I went to see Ludo afterwards." Twirling a lock of hair between her fingers, she mulled over what Delphia said. The suggestion that she clung to some idea of love for Sunjata, rather than had actual feelings.

"I hope I don't do that," she said quietly. "I didn't go looking for it, at least. I just liked talking to him... and before I knew it, the moments I couldn't share with him became dull, and when he was around the world seemed more colorful. More... alive. And I miss him, when he's not near." Her shoulders rose and fell, helpless to describe it any better. How everything felt good and right and easy when she shared it with him, and how gray, empty and pointless it became without his thoughts, his voice, the gleam in his eyes...

"I suppose, what really gets in the way is this... idea that I want him to be mine? That I can somehow keep him, make him part of myself and never let go... And when I can't, I get jealous. And he... still loves another. One he lost, and found, and lost again. I think... you spoke to her spirit, before? In Halo."

Maea looked up, searching Delphia's face to see if the description sparked any recognition. She could of course just say the names, but... for once, this was all about her. And her own feelings.

She smiled slightly at the joke - running with a Cat Sith through a haunted forest was not the kind of thing you forgot easily - but still eased herself down from the rock, and came over to stand beside Delphia. Ready to listen, and learn, and try to let go of these... heavy clouds that kept fogging her mind. It was a gloom that had lingered over her ever since the first heated argument with Sunjata, and it just wouldn't go away. Fear, anger and guilt, it kept poisoning everything, sucking the joy out of even the things that should be happy. 
   
"Thank you, Delphia. What do I do?" Maea took off Ludo's shawl and set it aside, ready to do whatever she was instructed to.

Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

these voices won't leave me alone

"To fall back on?" she said curiously, watching as the will-o-wisp flew about her head. She smiled at it warmly, holding out a finger should it wish to rest upon it. Having lived in the Greatwood all her life, she was very familiar with the creatures. "Hello there, Shii. You are a handsome wisp indeed." she cooed at it. "And you must've been very pleased to see Maea scare away the Cat Sith, I am certain." She turned her gaze to Maea and smiled warmly. "Will-o-wisps are gentle creatures. I am not surprised one bonded with you."

Once again though, Delphia fell silent, giving room for Maea to speak, which for many was more than enough to process their feelings. And though she might look preoccupied with Shii, her mind was processing all she said. "All humans are looking for it. All seek the completion granted to them by Mort once they die." she said with a shrug, not concerned or judging Maea for possibly having looked for love where it could be garnered, consciously or otherwise. "But loving and owning are not equal. Mort loves Vi with the brilliance of the rising sun, golden and inspiring. But Mort does not covet Vi. Mort does not seek to change that which makes he and Vi so different, nor does he keep Vi from that which fulfills him to have him for himself. In fact, I have never actually even seen them together, physically." she said, smiling at Maea warmly. "Do not make hurdles where there need not be." she advised.

Though her brows furrowed, trying to put a face to the description. It took a moment, but thankfully the spirits who were still near helped prompt her memory. "Ah. Him. Yes, I remember him. We were not in Halo, but that is where the woman died." she said, nodding slowly. He was an objectively handsome fellow, so she could understand Maea's attraction. Her head tilted the other way, lips curving down a bit as whispers reached her ears. "Has he not walked down this path before? With a blonde woman? And yet he still wishes for a woman who is dead?" Why? Why wish to have one you loved at your side when they were more fulfilled in the realm of Mort than could ever be imagined in life?

Perhaps this cleansing was more needed than she imagined. With each word, her situation grew into an ever winding web. Perhaps it was spiders and not the gods which Rae had based humans on when creating them. Delphia knelt next to Maea by the fireside, slowly rebuilding the flames. "First, focus on calling to the spirits of your ancestors to protect you. During this cleansing, you will be opening your soul and spirit to release negativity, and it will leave you vulnerable to ill-intent if you are not protected." she coached.

DELPHIA

Coding base by Sky!

Maea

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain

"Ah, usually tradition indicate that there is a pattern of repeated events, right?" she tried to explain. "Most of my friends now are new, though. People I've only known for a year, and often even less. We've not established any traditions yet. So there is nothing to return to, for the comfort you spoke of." Only things to build, going ahead. Which... was a tiresome task. Always doing something new. Where nothing was familiar.

A deeper part of her found it curious that Delphia would find a wisp gentle, given their penchants for luring people astray. Or that a gentle companion would suit her, when Maea didn't feel very gentle at all herself. She too watched Shii drift on phantom winds around the demi-god, until it grew bored with the inspection and zipped away, off to explore elsewhere.

It was Maea's turn to listen then, and for once she had no counter arguments. Perhaps because there were no questions asked, or because it was too much to consider. Delphia made it sound so very simple, and in essence, it was. She wanted to let Sunjata stay who he was, to accept him for who and what he was. Good parts, bad parts, mistakes and flaws and everything that came with him. All the barriers, she realized, lay within herself. The desire to control, to change, to somehow fit him into a mold of her own expectations. 'Don't look at other people, love only me, be this and do that'... It came from a place of love and concern, as many of the things the man did seemed self-destructive from her perspective. But... perhaps it was just not her place to decide what was good for him. Perhaps the one who needed to look over her priorities... was Maea herself.

"He loved Lusea with everything he was," she said, trying to explain what she only understood by association. "He built his life on her, and all his future... and even though she is gone, he has yet to fully accept it, I think. He still sees her in his future... leaving room for no one else. Everything he's done, everyone he's been with since she died... he compares it to a bandaid, to cover up the wound. To not have to look at it." Including herself. Though... perhaps the fact that he still wanted her near was a sign that it wasn't all she was? Or maybe that was wishful thinking too.
 
As she settled herself down by the fire Delphia built, she tried to keep this all in mind. It was at the heart of her troubles after all, and this ritual was meant to help her release negativity. And perhaps it could help her relinquish preconceived notions of what happiness looked like, too?

"How do I call them?" she asked, crossing her legs under herself, to sit comfortably. Maea had never tried anything like this before. "Is it like praying?"

Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

these voices won't leave me alone

Delphia smiled, catching Maea in another little misstep of logic - at least from her perspective. "I am a new friend. And I am showing you one of my traditions for you to engage in. Can you not take your old traditions and do the same with your new friends?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. Though as she describe the situation, how Sunjata thought and felt, she sighed. Delphia glanced at the ground briefly, shaking her head. Such a shame.

"People who live as though those they have lost are still somehow attainable in this life have already died." she said, looking back up at Maea. "They live in a ficticious world of their mind's making. Instead of walking the paths of life as Mort wishes, they walk the path of death, and do not realize all they have missed out on yearning for death until Ludo is upon their doorstep." The demigoddess sighed and shook her head. "If you love him, do as you will. But do not fool yourself into thinking he loves you, if that is how he is." she warned.

"Very much like praying. Speak your desires to them through your soul." she coached.

DELPHIA

Coding base by Sky!

Maea

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain

Maea wanted to argue that she had no such traditions to share. But the fragments of a conversation with Amalia in the snowfall of Halo came to mind, an offer extended to Weaver to share old family recipes. She thought of promises made with Sunjata, with Loren... and perhaps it wasn't exactly traditions, but at least it was something. So she smiled ruefully, bowing her head under the suggestion. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm being too negative."

And that didn't really stop when her explanation of Sunjata's motives resulted in a very heavy sounding sigh. A sound quite rare from her friend, followed by a message that was quite sharp and very difficult to hear. Protests mounted within her, arguments against that very drastic judgement crowding on her tongue. What did Delphia know of Sunjata's love? How could it not be real, when she saw it in his eyes, felt it in the gentleness of his hands? In the very pain it brought him to make decisions that opened distances between them, for the good of them both?

She held her tongue though, let her silence speak for her of the doubt she felt over this verdict. Instead Maea closed her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts, shift them away from Delphia and Sunjata, towards her family. She thought of her brother, Noah, with the bright blue eyes and the warm smile, who had been her best friend and fiercest ally. Of her father, Ruben, with strong hands and firm beliefs, hiding a heart of gold under a mask of strict devotion and stoic acceptance of the status quo. Of her grandfather, Marten, a priest and farmer, infinitely wise, with humor glittering in mischievous eyes, eternally young. And... her heart called for her mother, whom she had never met, didn't recall or know, but needed more than ever these days.

'I miss you,' Maea thought, reaching for them all. 'I wish I could speak to you. Wish I could hear your voices again... hear what you think of all this. The changes I've made. The tangled mess of a love I've stumbled into. You would have disapproved, wouldn't you, father. Because he's an outlander, and less than morally just. But Safrin attuned him, so perhaps that would be a saving grace? Noah, he's not hurting me on purpose, so don't worry, I'll be fine. You would have grown to like him, especially if you got to wrestle with him a few times. Grandfather.. you would have joined him at the bar, shared drinks and coaxed all the secrets out of him, I know that. Been the father figure he deserves, and an ally throughout everything. For us both.'

A sad, wry smile crossed her lips. Maea relaxed into the task, her restless hands stilling in her lap. Tears welled up in her eyes, the presence of memories she'd repressed so long both painful and overwhelming... but it felt good too. Clearer than ever.

Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

these voices won't leave me alone

Delphia allowed the silence between them to remain. Nothing needed to be said, nor were either likely to change their thoughts on the matter. The demigoddess might not know the things Maea did, but she knew the way of souls. If he truly was in the state she described, there was no other reality possible. She had seen that scenario play out enough times to know it to be true. But what went unsaid was the possibility for change - change only he could decide to make. Either way, Maea was helpless in the situation.

And so instead she focused on the task at hand, watching as spirits began to slowly slink there way towards the girl. Not ghosts of her real family, but the spiritual entities that had coexisted with them for many generations. "Very good." she said once they had gathered around her. Delphia grabbed a bundle of sage and rosemary, placing them on Maea's lap. "Place these in the flame, and allow the smoke to wash over you and fill your lungs. The smoke cleanses the blood and the air within you."

DELPHIA

Coding base by Sky!

Maea

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain

Maea did as instructed. She tried to keep the thoughts of her family from slipping away as she opened her eyes again and took the sage, placing it on the fire Delphia had rekindled. The sage blackened and curled, the smoke it gave off thick and white. She waited patiently for it to build up, and then raised her hands, brought it wafting towards her.

The scent was fresh and tangy, light and heavy all at the same time, and Maea found it hard to breathe it in properly. Like the air wouldn't reach far enough down the lungs. But she kept trying, bringing more smoke towards her, and held fast to the memory of familiar faces. Her grandfather's glittering eyes stood out particularly well in her mind; he had been so open and accepting, able to forgive anything and anyone. Much like Delphia, loving all without restraint or rules or boundaries. Ah, Maea wanted to be like that too. Do away with all the walls she'd built, ultimately to protect herself and try to make sense of a strange world.

Maybe it was time to let go of those. To see more clearly.

Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay