From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Since The Voice had revealed Evie's secret to him (or at least, implied well enough that he'd understood) Sam had felt an obligation to somehow reveal to her what he knew - it sat heavily in his chest, this new knowledge, something he wished he could have found out from Evie...but Gods didn't care about the smaller details of human relationships, did they?
He'd put it off for as long as he could manage, but finally he knew he'd have to talk to her soon or he might burst from the pressure; he walked into her Apothecary one morning, before the sun had really rose. It was early, but most shopkeeps arrived at this time to set things up and prepare for the day ahead.
"Evie?" Sam called out as he stepped in. "Are you here? I'd like to speak with you."
To say Evie is unprepared for what this day will bring her is a massive understatement. There is no way to know that her greatest secret, painfully and stolidly concealed, has been blithely revealed to the one person she dreaded knowing the truth. Instead she is enjoying her time back in the Grounds before she is due to return to Halo. Dropping off packages to her regulars, sweeping and wiping down the shop, and letting the familiar creaks of the boards and seeping scents remind her of home.
By early light she is back and determining which seedlings to take back to Loren as she'd promised. So when the door opens and let's in a swathe of chill air that carries a familiar voice upon it, Evie is present. And confused. Rising from her knees she pats her hands off on her apron and turns to see her twin brother coming through the door. Her returned look is puzzled but tentatively warm. They've made a great deal of progress in the past year, and Evie doesn't want it broken so soon. "I'm here Sam," she calls out to direct him towards the far window where she puts her seed starters. The shop isn't huge so she merely walks towards him, trepidation rising at his word choice. "What's wrong?" Aquamarine gaze immediately sweeping over extremities for any injury or further loss of limb.
Don't look up, just let them think There's no place else you'd rather be
Small round orange and angry shapes pelt against the door of Evie's shop. They smear the door with their fury, teeth gnawing angrily at the wood and destroying the lower half.
Evie responded and Sam took a further step in, though held up a hand at her question. "Oh, nothing is wrong. Don't worry." While he was sure she wouldn't be happy about what he had to say, it wasn't an urgent problem or bad news. Thinking of news, though...it suddenly occurred to him that he didn't know if Evie knew about their new sibling.
Perhaps it would be a day of all kinds of revelations.
He opened his mouth to try and begin somehow, to find the right way to say what he had to...when a loud thud at the door cut him off. Sam stared as the wood began to buckle and become frail under the attack of...several gourds. "Um. They aren't usually so aggressive in towns..." He mumbled, but stepped forward to deal with the situation. "Evie, step back."
Sam had waited for weeks to come and talk to his sister this way, and he was not going to let some over-confident foodstuffs ruin that. Walking to the door he opened it, stepped outside so the gourds were in his radius, and activated his barrier, electrocuting them all.
03-25-2020, 03:00 AM (This post was last modified: 03-25-2020, 03:00 AM by Evie.)
EVIE
His assurances do little to fully appease her, but it's enough to smooth her hackles and take her out of crisis mode. It still bothers her that even if something were to happen to Sam, even in a situation where she may need to reveal herself to save his life, she would not be granted the ability. It's a helplessness that she can't help but despise. Especially after Sam had been injured over LongNight and his only option to become whole again was to go to his Goddess. For all the power she'd supposedly been granted, she was still the last possible choice when lined up alongside the Gods who had already forsaken her.
She is jolted fiercely from her thoughts as a sudden pounding on her door shakes the frame and echoes like thunder in the small space. "What the-?" As the bottom gives way the creatures become visible, and she stares stupidly at them as they throw themselves senselessly against the wood, crushing it beneath their hardened exteriors. Vampire gourds? Before she even has a chance to question it aloud or reach for something to beat them back with, Sam is moving closer. Evie jolts, instinctively reaching for his shirt to grab and try to pull him back, but there's no point as he does...something. Electricity fills the air, making her hair try to stand and giving her the sensation of sparks against the roof of her mouth and along her arms.
Staring helplessly at the wreckage of pumpkin guts, shredded wood, and dirt outside her doorway, Evie runs a hand through her loose copper hair. "That's...certainly a convenient trick. Thank you. I've never seen them act like that." She can't help but wonder why they'd attacked in the first place, and why her shop in particular. "Maybe we should go further inside? Did you need something?" Clearly he was here for a reason, and at least they'd be able to hear the gourds crossing the wooden floor if they were deeper in the shop. Though their path of destruction would unfortunately only lengthen.
Don't look up, just let them think There's no place else you'd rather be
Sam had grown so used to his barrier and it's usage he hadn't even considered how Evie might react to it; he turned with a slightly confused expression at first, then realised she likely had never seen it before. "Oh, thank you. It's...very useful, The Voice gave it to me." Obviously.
Sighing as he lifted a shoe covered in orange goop, he tried his best to wipe it off by the door before stepping further in. "Yes, that's probably best. I..need to talk to you, that's all. Don't worry, it's not anything bad." Following her further into the shop to wherever she took them, he would pause and take a breath before looking her in the eyes and wondering if it was best to just come out with it right away or go around for a moment.
Luckily, his anxiety-ridden blabbermouth mind made the decision for him. "I know you're Abandoned. Um. It's alright, with me, if you were...wondering." He added the second part hastily, unsure if she would think he was trying to accuse her of something.
For lack of anything else to say, Evie merely hums in quiet acknowledgement to the...upgrade. Whatever it is he and The Voice may call it. Useful, as she had said, but still rather disturbing. Her twin has never struck her as much of a fighter, and while it can definitely be used defensively it is like a discordant chord has been struck in her ear and it makes her cringe away in discomfort. Instead she turns her attention to his words, stolidly ignoring the destruction of her front door and the cleanup and repair that it will herald. Best not stress over that just now.
"This sounds like a breakup speech," she teases instead to conceal her anxiety at his vagueness. It doesn't pair well with the intensity of his single-track focus, and she is glad for the long sleeves the conceal the way goosebumps spread over her skin.
Her hand is reaching for a chair to pull out and sit down, but as soon as her palm touches the wood Sam speaks.
"I know you're Abandoned."
The chair goes clattering to the floor as her arm jerks.
Her heart seizes to a stop in her chest, air freezing in her lungs as Sam's next words hazily make their way through the sudden white noise in her brain that has wiped everything else clean. It's a terror unlike anything she has ever experienced, a crushing weight she's not sure she can bear this time. And despite how far they've come, how much they've grown, Evie can't help the way she reacts once the ice breaks and the world spins back into motion. "You must be far more of an imbecile than I ever estimated if you think that," she snarls, but there's something terrified and wild in her eyes that even her well-practiced manner of concealment cannot hide. Her hands shake, and she fists them at her sides to stop them. Each breath comes too fast and yet seems to do absolutely nothing as air slips into her lungs, and Evie can already tell how out of control this is all spinning within mere moments.
His attempt at comforting her fears means nothing as she staggers away from him and spins around, hands clenching around the counter where her kettle sits. She can't look at him, not like this. How long has she held this secret now without fail? How long has she killed and buried the woman she could have - should have - been? All for the sake of appearances. Her bitterness resurfaces like a tsunami from beneath previously tranquil waters, a smoky hatred that she cannot grasp in her shaking hands. How dare he corner her like this? How did he even find out? How dare he say 'it's alright' like it's such a simplistic matter? Had he simply shrugged and accepted it, not once considering how such a secret had impacted her entire life, their family, their own relationship as twins? "Who the fuck told you that?" Her words are sharp, but there's a tremor to them she can't chase away. Still refusing to confirm it until she knows.
Don't look up, just let them think There's no place else you'd rather be
Sam really didn't know how he expected Evie to take what he had to tell her, but he hadn't expected what happened; her words were venomous, clearly meant to be hurtful. Perhaps he had forgotten too quickly, how things had once been between them. With the progress they'd recently made, fights and aggression of the years prior had begun to fade away - the tone of her voice brought all of it back and for a moment he stood stunned, blinking down tears that threatened to appear.
He never once doubted she was Abandoned, though. The Voice knew more than any mortal and as far as he knew, had no reason to lie about this. Besides, he knew this trick of Evie's well, to immediately go to anger when she was cornered - similar to his instinct, but instead of lashing out he retreated inwards.
Not saying anything he quietly watched her, eyes and mouth flat. He wouldn't make this into an argument. It didn't have to be. He had no problems with her being Abandoned and he only wanted to know why she had never told him, only wanted to assure her it was alright with him.
"The Voice told me. Evie, it doesn't need to be a secret or problem between us. I know...mother and father were...well, I understood why you kept it from them. But I have no reason to judge you for that." Gently he tried to reach out a hand to touch her arm. "I actually...think it gives us more in common." Not Accepted, not loved by the Gods as a whole, lesser, different.
Of course he doesn't react as she is used to. Admittedly she'd hoped that he would, that she could chase him away with the vitriol she spews and keep him at great length with her denials. But if they were the same people as they had been in the past, in those years when that would have worked, then they never would have begun tentatively rebuilding their relationship. They wouldn't be here in the first place, Sam with his misplaced earnestness and she with her crumbling facade of lies.
The Voice told him, because of fucking course she did. Evie can't help the wave of betrayal that takes her under, the bitterness and hatred at the unfairness of it all. Apparently even the New Gods are willing to forsake her, to shatter any semblance of privacy she may have clung to. It nearly makes her throw off his touch when it comes, hurt and lost in this vast ocean she finds herself in. But all she can manage is the tensing of her shoulders before she crumples, leaning slightly into his touch as his words more than anything come through to her. Because Sam's strength has always been subtle and moving, has always been in books and words and a sincerity that even Evie cannot fully contest.
"Your own Goddess invaded my privacy to share a secret I held all my life, that's how much all the Gods - New and Old - hate people like me," she spits bitterly, but as she turns to look at her twin there are tears in her eyes and a wobble to her lips that she forces into a thin line to keep herself from truly crying. Holding onto her anger for dear life, because she doesn't want Sam to see below that veneer of control to the terrified, hopeless girl beneath. "You thought my life was perfect, of course I couldn't tell you. I've been hiding this my entire life, why would I think I could tell you any of this?" She'd been just as cruel in turn, having despised Sam for his whining over being Ascended, over getting a real family even if it had been against his will.
Don't look up, just let them think There's no place else you'd rather be
Sam was not expecting Evie to move towards his touch. Gently he moved closer, trying to stroke her arm comfortingly as she spoke; he could see in her the threads of panic that had run his life for years: she'd always controlled them better than he, but now he had seen behind the curtain, hadn't he?
"...I don't think The Voice should have told me either. It wasn't fair for her to - that was your secret to tell me." He spoke quietly, not liking openly disparaging his Goddess but unable to approve of the sharing of that secret. It had not been the Voice's secret to give. "I wish I could have found out when you wanted me to, but...well. I didn't ask her. She just told me." Sam wanted it to be clear he didn't ask. Really, he'd had no reason to, had never suspected Evie might be anything other than what she put herself out to be.
He nodded as he supposed he might have kept his Ascension hidden too, if he'd had a choice. "I...never thought your life was perfect. Well. Maybe when we were children. But nowadays...I know it was a different kind of pain for you, but still painful nonetheless. But Evie...shouldn't we be trying to move past the expectations Mother and Father pressed on us? He's dead now. We can be who we want to be."
Her breath shudders out of her as she forces herself still, to lean into the comforting brush of his palm down her arm instead of giving into the prickling urge to slap his hand away and force distance between them. It's a tenuous battle between hard-won work on her own problems, and reliance on that which has kept her safe and secret her entire life. Her hackles smooth slightly at his soft admission, at him taking her side for once. Especially with The Voice on the line. It's a significant gesture from Sam, and her shoulders relax slightly, though the trembling of her hands won't seem to stop.
"I'm not sure if I would have ever been ready to tell you," she admits weakly, aware of at least that much now that her secret has been forcefully revealed. "The Outlanders are so open with their magic, but they...they just don't get it." They hadn't been beaten down over and over for nearly three decades. Hadn't experienced the ostracizing, the spurning of every Abandoned soul who had the nerve to be open about their designation.
Wobbling back to a straightened position as he speaks, voice low and perfectly cadenced as it has always been - a reader's voice, one that settles her nerves as easily as any soft, crooning comfort Amalia could give - she reaches out to grasp his elbow if only to center herself. To feel less like her knees will buckle any moment. "We can. Finally, we can." There's a heartbreaking tremble to the words, but it's infused with so much hope and gratitude that Evie is surprised her chest has not broken apart with how it seems to overflow inside her. "It's still hard. Every day, every time I use my magic. But I'm sick of hating myself. I'm sick of us hating ourselves." A spark of her normal willfulness returns to blue eyes, a stubbornness that even this cannot erase.
Don't look up, just let them think There's no place else you'd rather be
Thankfully Evie seemed to begin to calm down, leaning into his touch and looking less like she was about to hit him any moment. Sam let out a tense breath he didn't know he'd been holding (not that he really need to hold it or let it go, but he'd always kept his breath for dramas sake) and stroked her arm for a moment before he stood back to listen to her speak.
"..I know..a few Natural Abandoned who are open with their magic." He offered, though he did understand why in their family Evie had not been. "Now that we're...grown, and out, you could..be proud. Talk to some of them that have embraced it." If she didn't want to know, that was her choice: this was never a position he had been in. Sam had gone from being loved by the Old Gods to the Voice with no inbetween, always knowing there was at least someone out there caring for him.
She held his elbow and spoke with a ferocity suddenly that made him smile without a thought. "Yes. I've been trying very hard lately to not let people tell me who I am or that I am wrong for being me. We should work on that together." Sam reached to touch her hand, though his face was not entirely free of trouble, not yet. "There is...one more thing. Do you know...about Amalia?"
Considering her own existence, Evie shouldn't be surprised by the fact that other Natural Abandoned exist. Despite that she admittedly still is. "We should make a club," she mumbles bitterly, though the weight in her words is greatly reduced from the panic she'd previously succumbed to, the cruelty she'd worn like a comfortable shawl. "I...I joined Zariah's Magic Academy," she confesses instead, expression visibly torn and perhaps a little terrified of his reaction as she looks to him. "To be near people like me. But I'd like to know these others, if...if they're okay with you telling me their names." Yes he had implied they were 'out' so to speak, but it feels wrong not to ask. Like it will always be a question she has to answer no matter how far she comes in accepting herself.
His smile helps melt the ice that chills her insides, something boyish and warm in the expression that buoys her up and away from the darker thoughts. Her own comes out of hiding in response, a little weaker in comparison. "Partners in crime. I did tell you third time was the charm, didn't I?" It feels like ages since that conversation in the Temple, but the bridge between them now at last feels solid, reliable. They're both going to screw up eventually, but they can work towards a better relationship. With themselves and with each other. "Though I...I'm not sure I'd be willing to go with you to see The Voice now. Not after this." It's an agonizing betrayal, one that she can't ignore. She has already come to terms with the Old Gods tossing her away, but that small shred of hope she'd still held in The Voice has burned to ash in her chest. The smoke will linger for some time, she's sure.
Amalia's name prompts a disbelieving note to her smile, and she nods briefly. "She told me just yesterday. Count on Father to go out with a bang." The wry twist to her lips is all she'll give that damnable man, wherever he is now. Her disgust with him only grows the more she muses on his actions, his dismissal of Amalia as a person even at the end of his life.
Don't look up, just let them think There's no place else you'd rather be
"...Oh." Sam was admittedly quiet when Evie told him about her joining the academy: not anything to do with her being Abandoned or using her powers but a residual discomfort with Zariah, the woman who had so intimidated him when she'd taken the throne he'd left for months. "Well..um...are you learning anything useful there?" He asked, trying to put a smile on his face, though it was clearly a little forced.
At least he could give her some names easily enough. "Oh, yes. There's Weaver - she's from Halo. I met her in the ruins a while ago and she seemed not to be embarrassed about her magic at all. Then there's Freina..um..." Sam cringed as he remembered her reaction to being Abandoned. "She's...less happy about it, but I hope in time she will become proud. Like you will."
Partners in crime. Silly and fun, not anything he'd ever thought he and Evie would be. With a sigh he nodded to her when she spoke about the Voice, understanding her reasoning even if he felt his heart sink at the thought of her getting old and dying when he lived on now that they were beginning to have something like a relationship...too early for those kinds of thoughts, he supposed.
"Ah. I didn't even know where to look when she told me. She thought I had known, at first." Sam shook his head, sure Evie would know how secret it had been from them. "Do you think Mother knew...? You and Amalia were together a lot as children..."
