never seen that color blue

Loren returned Sam's hug, the healer's arms gently encircling the bookmaker as if still afraid the Ascended might get angry. Sighing, the healer nodded. "Thank you." He tried to sink all the gratitude he was feeling into that moment into the words. "I...you don't know how much I appreciate that. Appreciate you." He stroked the other man's back slowly. When he felt the redhead pulling away, the Launceleyn released Sam without protest. Loren cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. "Tea would be lovely, thank you." Rubbing his hands together nervously, he took hesitant steps towards one of the seats and sank into it. "How have...how have you been?" LOREN Not quite an open book

there's an ocean in my body

there's a river in my soul

Sam nodded, face pressed for a moment to Loren's chest. While none of this was what he'd imagined or wanted, it was good to know he could be a comfort to someone. Loren was clearly ...well, he didn't want to use the word broken, but hurt and misplaced on a deep level, and Sam knew more than most people just how that felt. "That's nice, thank you. I just..want to help. We all need friends right now, don't we?"

Stepping away he went to fetch his teapot which was just within the kitchen door; he returned with a tray holding two cups and a plate with a few mini pastries on, things bought at his newly discovered sister's bakery. Placing this down between them he sat on the chair opposite Loren, blinking and taking a moment to remember the question.

"How have I been..? Oh, um...I suppose I've been fine. Nothing bad, really. I've been thinking..." Sam drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair, then shrugged and looked to Loren. "The Voice wants the Ascended to explore Torchline. I was thinking I might begin to do that in earnest soon."

if I see a sign in the sky tonight

No one's gonna tell me it's a trick of the light

SAMuEL

Letting out a huff of laughter, Loren shook his head sadly. Pulling back a bit, he gazed down at Sam, staring into the bookmaker's eyes. "Maybe." The word was quiet and sad, and the healer's expression was filled with sorrow. "But I'm not used to life giving me what I want or need." The admission was soft. "Thanks." Taking one of the cups and a pastry, he nibbled around the edges of it, not really hungry but too tired to fight about not eating. At the other man's comment about exploring Torchline, the Launceleyn nodded. "Alright. Good luck with that. Let me know if I can help?" LOREN Not quite an open book

BOOM. BANG. CRASH! Is that... is that pumpkin seed flying at the window? Great squelching handfuls of it, splattering the outside walls of the house, causing a huge commotion and making the walls shake? Have the gourds really used the innards of their fallen comrades to cover Sam's house, a retaliation so gruesome it truly defies belief? Damn, they must not like you very much. The windows are covered, the culprits gone. Step outside and you will see that one wall of Sam's house is now covered in gourd innards, with the word murderer haphazardly scrawled in seeds on the floor. The gourds are nowhere to be found.

there's an ocean in my body

there's a river in my soul

"Forget life then. I'll give you...well, I can't guarantee it's what you'll what or need, but I'll give you all I've got to give." Sam promised, a real conviction in his words that showed in his eyes. He'd failed one of his friends and he desperately did not want it to happen again.

Loren took a tea and pastry, which made Sam smile as he reached for his own; in the last few weeks he'd really noticed himself becoming a bit of a nag with his friends, making sure they ate and looked after themselves. There were worse things to be, he supposed.

That Loren didn't immediately jump to conclusions or insult him for working for the Voice was a reminder of why he'd chosen to get closer to the summoner in the first place. "Well...do you know anything about the underwater city? I heard some rumours, but I don't know if that's all they are...I mean, a city under the ocean does sound a little ridiculous." Sam laughed, shaking his head.

"And...if you'd like to come with me at all during my explorations, I'd love to have you with me, of course." Loren was a good companion and magically skilled, if anything were to go wrong.

He opened his voice to speak again when a noise from the window drew his attention. Soon there was orange being pelted against the wall, making several unsightly squishing noises; Sam lowered his head into his hands. "They won't leave me alooooone." He moaned. "Just ignore it. They might go away." He requested, unawares that the culprits had already left.

if I see a sign in the sky tonight

No one's gonna tell me it's a trick of the light

SAMuEL

At Sam's offer, Loren paused, teacup halfway to his lips. He looked frozen, almost, and it was clear the words had affected him by the way his eyes had suddenly grown a bit misty. Setting the cup down, he found himself gazing at the bookmaker, expression equal parts embarrassed and pleased. "I...thank you. I...just, thank you." Flushing, he tucked a bit of hair behind his ear, while his other hand fiddled with his teacup. The mention of the underwater city had the healer shaking his head. "No, sorry." He was about to respond to the other man's request to accompany the redhead on his explorations when a thudding sound came from outside. Immediately the Launceleyn called water to his hand, but at Sam's groan Loren flicked it into the teapot. "Who is they and why won't they leave you alone?" There was a fiercely protective look on his face. LOREN Not quite an open book

there's an ocean in my body

there's a river in my soul

"You're welcome - you deserve it." Sam smiled at Loren, pleased to see that his words had struck true; he sometimes worried that nothing was actually getting through to the man, so lost in his despair and apathy.

Loren usually knew more than he did about most given topics (the man seemed to be a font of information), so hearing he didn't know about the Underwater City was disappointing; still, Sam just nodded. It was likely going to be a mystery for a lot of people for a long while, after all - not everyone could get to the bottom of the ocean. Did it even exist? He had his doubts.

The intensity with which Loren asked his question and looked at Sam made his heart skip a beat; were it any other situation he would have revelled in the man wanting to protect him. It felt somewhat wasted here though. "Oh. Um. ...Vampire Gourds. They've been following me...I don't know why. It's not...I'm not scared, but it's very irritating."

if I see a sign in the sky tonight

No one's gonna tell me it's a trick of the light

SAMuEL

Loren couldn't quite meet Sam's gaze. "Do I?" Sighing the healer took a sip of his tea. "Sorry. Bad habit." Picking up the pastry, he just stared at it for a while. "It's hard to think that I deserve good things after...all the bad things I've done. After all the good people who died while I survived." That admission came out in a pained whisper. Then he took a deep and steadying. "But I'm learning to accept that...I don't really get to decide that." Giving the bookmaker a rueful smile, the Launceleyn finally took an actual bite of the food. Brow furrowing, he looked at the wall that the gourds had seemingly attacked. "Strange. Did anything change between this Leafchange and last? I wasn't, um, really here last Leafchange." LOREN Not quite an open book

there's an ocean in my body

there's a river in my soul

Sam opened his mouth to answer Loren's question, but then the Launceleyn corrected it himself and he smiled, glad that he was learning to be better to himself. It was a skill that took some finessing, he knew: he was still working out how to do it himself. "You...can't help that you've lived. The best thing to do is to live your best now in their honour, right?" Really, he had no idea what the best thing to do was, but that sounded pretty good.

As for gourds, which was a much lighter subject, he sighed and nodded. "I think...last Leafchange, I helped fight a giant pumpkin. It..sounds ridiculous, but it was big enough to endanger people, so some of us helped to stop it. I think they're mad." He wasn't entirely sure that was it, but he couldn't think of any other crimes he'd committed against squash-kind.

if I see a sign in the sky tonight

No one's gonna tell me it's a trick of the light

SAMuEL

Setting the cup of tea down, he ran both hands through his hair. "I know. It's just...hard. To live that way when I'm so...tired of everything." Sighing, he rubbed his eyes, then took a long drink of the tea, hoping it would steady his nerves. It helped more to be able to focus on Sam and the story he told. "A giant pumpkin." The healer shook his head. "I guess that would make sense." Taking another bite of the pastry, he chewed and swallowed. "Hopefully they settle down soon. If not, though, let me know if there's anything I can do to help?" He somehow managed to muster up a faint smile. LOREN Not quite an open book

there's an ocean in my body

there's a river in my soul

Sam nodded, drank his own tea. Emotional tiredness, exhaustion from exposure to just too much...he hadn't worked out how to fix it himself, so he could hardly advise Loren. He found it tended to fade and return on it's own over time and the best thing that could be done was to be kind to yourself when it was there.

"Mhm. Giant pumpkin. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't been there, but..." He shrugged, unable to deny what he'd seen and fought against. Loren's offer of help made him smile in turn. "Thank you, but I'm rather sure I can handle it. I'm not the best fighter, but they are just vegetables." So far, it seemed his barrier had been quite efficient at zapping them to nothing.

For a moment after he let silence sit between them, hoping it would be companionable instead of awkward, going to eat a pastry himself and folding his legs into the chair as Mia suddenly appeared with a 'brrrpp!' from the kitchen and came to sit by the fire. "...I...saw Remi, again. He..um." Sam sighed, shook his head, unsure why he'd even brought it up, but the words were there now. "He isn't happy, that me and you have been together."

if I see a sign in the sky tonight

No one's gonna tell me it's a trick of the light

SAMuEL

Loren nodded slightly absently as Sam expressed that he could take care of himself. "I have no doubt about that. Fingers crossed there are no more giant ones out there." It was supposed to come out as a quip. However, the healer couldn't help worrying slightly about just that possibility. Mis-sip when the bookmaker brought up Remi, the Launceleyn went almost unnaturally still. Setting down the cup with a bit more force than was strictly necessary, his jaw feathered with tension. "Funny. Last time we spoke he said he was done with everything to do with me." Tone frosty, his eyes narrowed as annoyance flashed across his features. "That doesn't sound very done to me." Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he stared into the other man's eyes. "So what? Who cares what Remi thinks?" It was clear that Loren, at least, was done caring. LOREN Not quite an open book

there's an ocean in my body

there's a river in my soul

"I really hope so. It was one of the more...bizarre and unpleasant encounters I've had." Probably worse because of how strange it had been; at least if he was fighting something like a banshee or demon he'd feel like it was worth the pain incurred.

Loren went still as he mentioned Remi and Sam watched him carefully, unsure if he'd said something that would cause an argument. Especially when the cup was set down with a passive-aggressively loud clink, Sam feared he'd offended Loren. Yet actually, when the healer spoke, Sam let out a surprised laugh.

"I'm so glad to hear you say that. Everyone, including Remi, seems to think he has any say in who I see, and I was beginning to wonder if he was right." It was gratifying to hear someone who didn't care about the man's opinion, which had been eating away at Sam at some of the early hours of the morning.

With that spoken of, he decided to just clear the air of everything on his mind. "Speaking of that...um...do you get on well with Amalia, would you say? She...said something to me."

if I see a sign in the sky tonight

No one's gonna tell me it's a trick of the light

SAMuEL

Nodding, Loren tapped his cup idly. "That's saying something, given everything I've encountered in Caido. I'll bet you've seen even stranger things, given, you know, natural and all that." There was a slightly self-deprecating tone in his voice, and he waved his hand in the air vaguely. Eyes narrowing, he leaned forward slightly. "He's not. And everyone else is wrong too." Fingers growing almost white-knuckled on the tea cup, he stared at Sam perhaps a bit too intensely. "He lost that right when he got together with someone else. Besides, the only person whose opinion should matter is yours." The healer let out a huff of laughter. "And not just because you like me." At the mention of Amalia, he raised his eyebrows. "Honestly? I never have any idea where I stand with her. I like her fine, and think we're friends. But I haven't treated her all that well in the past." Sighing, he gave the bookmaker an apologetic smile. LOREN Not quite an open book