i just don't care that much

SUNJATA

high as hell, feeling fine
nothing bad but nothing kind

He’s in town, at least for some bit of time. Not alone, which helps as the cold sets into his bones. He remains at the Kraai, sending a letter to Loren to invite him down to the revitalized bar. He’s in town, after all, might as well. He sits near the back wearing a short sleeve shirt, his tattooed arm on display, a drink in front of him, running a hand through his hair. He looks rough, but at least his lungs have gotten better from the eruption in Torchline. And now he’s a part of a government – funny how things changed so quickly.

Even still, Ascended bites sit along his skin as well. Much has changed and yet nothing at all as well. It’s a confusing state of affairs, but Sunjata doesn’t particularly care anymore what everyone else thinks. He’s reached the bottom time and time again, far too careful with what everyone else thinks to live his life. And now? Now he’s lost all the mental effort it takes to give a fuck about it anymore.

Loren

not a word from me
at least nothing you would mind

Loren's only concession to the cold was that he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. A bow was slung across his back, and Astra trotted at his side. Entering into the bar, he took a moment to look around at the Kraai before focusing his attention on Sunjata, noting the bites but not commenting on them.

The healer's companion had no such hesitation: she immediately trotted up to the bartender and looked up, practically begging for scratches. Approaching much more slowly, the Launceleyn slung the bow off his shoulder. As he did, he sent a pulse of sympathy through their link.

"You did a great job with this place." He gestured around at the bar. Then, awkwardly, he held out the bow. "Here. We, I mean, Weaver and I found this in um...we thought you might want to have this." Shifting his weight from side to side, his cheeks flushed even as tears sprang to his eyes.

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!

SUNJATA

high as hell, feeling fine
nothing bad but nothing kind

Loren arrives and Sunjata’s gaze flickers up to find the swimming blues of the man that approaches. He feels the pulse of sympathy that crosses from the Launceleyn, but there’s hardly anything that returns to him. Some sort of hollow emptiness in the expanse of the attuned bond that Sunjata’s far more comfortable with than he should be. Astra soon arrives first, asking for pets and Sunjata can’t quite deny the luxere that small luxury, reaching down with a hand to scratch behind the creatures ears.

A dip of his head, a shrug granted as he offers a quick glance over the summoner as the bow is extended. “Thanks.” He replies easily, quietly, taking some sort of appreciation with the bar. “Weaver did most of the work. I just brought the alcohol and slapped a Korofi name on it.” He rumbles, a bit of a half answer, lifting the glass to his lips.

But the bow is before him, dried and cracked and unusable now but it’s mistakeable. Some sort of feeling of guilt crosses over the attuned bond before he swallows it back down into nothing, reaching forward to grab it, nodding thanks to Loren. “I gave her this bow you know. When I taught her how to use it.” He says, running his fingers along the dried material. “I want to say I’m surprised she kept it… But I’m not.” There’s a quiet sigh that leaves him, a small shrug.

not a word from me
at least nothing you would mind

Astra bleated happily at the attention from Sunjata. However, she continued staring at him, her eyes concerned. Loren just took another look at the interior, before leaning against a nearby wall. "Then I should congratulate you on delegating so well." Shrugging, he slipped his hands into his pockets now that the bartender had taken the bow.

"I didn't." The healer bit his lip. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand to lay it on the other man's shoulder even as the Launceleyn sent out a pulse of understanding to combat the guilt he could feel from Sunjata. "I know how much this hurts you. And I meant it, when I said I'd be there for you."

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!

SUNJATA

high as hell, feeling fine
nothing bad but nothing kind

A hum of agreement is given to Loren to that, a ghost of a smirk crossing his face before he takes the bow and it fades among with the rest of the feelings panging through him, shutting it off and shutting it down before it can get to be too much. Distracted soon after when Loren’s hand is on his shoulder – steel gaze flickering up to meet the summoner’s face, putting the bow on the seat beside him.

“I just kind of expect it anymore.” He shrugs, lifting the glass and tearing his gaze from Loren. “Easier that way.” He shakes his head a small amount, hand lifting to rub against his neck – ghosting over bites and what not before it drops again to the table. “Lots to be distracted with at the very least. What have you been doing?” To cope, to deal.

not a word from me
at least nothing you would mind

As Sunjata cut himself off, both mentally and from what Loren could see, physically, he bit his lip again. Slowly, he began to radiate as steady comfort through their bond, trying to offer what support he could. "Depends what you mean by easier." His voice was soft. Still, he gave the bartender an understanding look.

Shrugging, the healer slipped his hands back into his pockets. "Working, mostly. I visited Torchline to help out after the eruption. Ran into Seren again. Don't worry, I was good." His lips twisted into a facsimile of a smile. "I'm trying this new thing called sitting with my emotions instead of descending into a self-destructive spiral."

Looking away, he studied the bar rather than meet the other man's gaze. "How about you?"

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!

SUNJATA

high as hell, feeling fine
nothing bad but nothing kind

“Band-aiding, usually.” He shrugs lightly to it, ignoring it for as long as he can. He rubs at his neck a bit more, lifting his gaze to Loren as he speaks of Torchline and Seren, a fact that has his brow raising. “You know, you never told me why Remi or Ronin might not appreciate you being around her.” At the end of it though, he realizes it’s not really something he cares to indulge in.

So he focuses on what Loren says next, laughing audibly as he shakes his head. “Ah, well. Can’t say the same. I spiraled hard after the volcano.” He huffs, not ashamed of it so much anymore – not when the reason he’d refrained from doing any dramatic and huge things was somewhere around this bar. “But… I don’t know. I have to focus on the Guild and Torchline now. Can’t keep wallowing in my shit story of a life anymore. Have to move on and let go.” The words come out in an almost mocking tone, recalling Delphia’s whole problem with him. He can’t help the slight sneer along his face before he lifts the glass to his lips again.

not a word from me
at least nothing you would mind

Nodding in understanding, Loren felt his eyes following the motion of Sunjata's hand. "Need some healing that can help a bit more than a band-aid?" The healer tilted his head to one side. "I can replenish blood loss too." Although his tone was lightly amused, there was no judgement in it.

Sighing, he rubbed his temples. "I was involved with Remi. Ronin too, but Remi most recently. I made him...promises I guess you could say. Then we came to Caido, and he was expecting me to fulfill those promises. Instead I lost my mind and disappeared for a year." Shrugging, he lowered his hand. "And then I came back and somehow fucked it up even further."

Giving the bartender an understanding look, the Launceleyn reached out and put his hand back on the other man's shoulder. "Far be it for me to judge anyone else's grieving process. Take whatever time you need to heal, friend. Just...don't hurt yourself or anyone else too much, yeah?" Loren's voice was gentle, as was his touch.

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!

SUNJATA

high as hell, feeling fine
nothing bad but nothing kind

“Sure.” Sunjata agrees quietly, unsure if he needs it. He feels fine, but… Well, if it makes Loren feel better he won’t deny it. It wouldn’t heal the wounds over his heart, the scars stuck in his mind. But it might make it a bit easier to cope with them all the same. Still, his gaze flickers up to the summoner, listening as he explains why Ronin and Remi wouldn’t like him being around, and somehow it all makes some sense.

Not that Sunjata can say much about it.

So he nods instead. “I see.” It comes out quietly, trying to wrap his mind around it but imagining how it must have been for the both of them. The confusion involving it. Or perhaps he already sort of knew, when Lusea came crashing through the portal beneath the Spire and Phoebe had been the one to find her.

Loren’s hand is at his shoulder again, and he focuses on the next set of words, fingers tapping against the glass that holds the alcohol, before he takes in the words and looks up at the Launceleyn. “I won’t. Don’t think I can, so much anymore.” He manages, swallowing down the confessions between Nate and him that had been there some time, had spurred part of the argument involving Maea and him back then. “You already know how I cope anyway.” A small weak smile to that, a raise of his glass to his lips once more before it’s empty and he fiddles with the glass again if only to refrain from rubbing at his neck again.

not a word from me
at least nothing you would mind

Reaching out a hand, Loren laid it on Sunjata's shoulder. Sending a pulse of healing magic through the bartender, the healer targeted his blood, the bite marks, and also the other man's lungs, which were slightly damaged from the air in Haulani. Indeed, the Launceleyn didn't bother holding back, just leaving the scars untouched (and leaving some more from the bites). Unbeknownst to him, a tendril of his magic even crept up to Sunjata's brain, easing the depression there just a little.

Shrugging, Loren lowered his hand. "Nothing I can do to fix things now." For a moment, he looked stricken, and guilt welled up through their bond.

Taking a deep breath, he shoved all that down and focused his whole attention on the bartender. "You'd be surprised at the people who still care about you." The Launceleyn rubbed his hands together awkwardly.

Looking at the glass just made him bite his lip again. "I know" There was no judgment, just a gentle concern in the words.

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!

SUNJATA

high as hell, feeling fine
nothing bad but nothing kind

It’s not noticeable, really, the way he feels somewhat revitalized. The alcohol is still there within his system, burning through and muddling his mind, but at least a small amount of regret and guilt is replaced by… Well, nothing. He can’t discern it much, so he instead focuses on Loren’s words next, nodding in both understanding and some part sympathy. It was what it was at the end of the day.

The next deep breath, though, the comment has Sunjata’s gaze lifting to meet the Launceleyn’s blues, head tilting a small amount. “I am surprised, honestly.” A shrug to that as he shakes his head, huffing out a laugh. “I wasn’t alone when I spiraled, at least. Got talked off of that edge, so. Don’t worry too much about me.” He offers, hands pulling away from the glass to sit back in the seat and level his gaze on the summoner.

“But I’m fine. Really. I can’t change anything now so why try.” A raise of his brow given to that.

not a word from me
at least nothing you would mind

Loren blinked, legitimately surprised at Sunjata's response. "Why?" Tone confused, the healer shook his head. "You're a good person. You've just had a hard life, and had a lot of bad things happen to you. Believe me, I of all people can understand that." His voice was still soft, though his expression had grown sad.

Shaking his head slightly, he pushed off the wall to go take a seat next to the bartender. "You don't really get to decide who worries about you or why." It was a gentle chiding.

Humming thoughtfully, the Launceleyn gave the other man a questioning look. "What makes you say that?" There was nothing but a mild curiosity in Loren's voice.

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!

SUNJATA

high as hell, feeling fine
nothing bad but nothing kind

“Surprises me when people stay and I tend to lash out.” It’s an honest answer, as his fingers tap against the top of the bar and his gaze lifts to Loren with a small tilt of his head as the summoner sits beside him. He hears what the summoner says next, and a deep chuckle leaves his throat to it. And maybe it’s because Loren has helped heal a small bit of Sunjata’s confusion and regret within his mind, but there’s a brief slip of a crooked smile that crosses his face for a fraction of a second.

“Yeah… Nate might have mentioned something similar.” He rumbles, looking out across the bar and the shadows that dance from the fire. It helps to keep that slight flush from growing too strong along his neck and cheeks, but it’s there nonetheless. As for what makes him say that? Well, it’s true. “I can’t change the fact that Luci or Maea died. So I guess I need to live with what time I get to have left.” He shrugs.

not a word from me
at least nothing you would mind

Shrugging, Loren leaned his elbows on the bar. "Dunno why." There was a wry tone in his voice and he gave Sunjata a rueful smile. "We know why you're doing it. And that you don't really mean it."

Then it was the healer's turn to let out a huff of laughter. "Or at least that you wouldn't say it under normal circumstances." His tone indicated that he knew just how unusual normal circumstances were for either of them, or anyone in Caido really.

When the other man mentioned Nate, the Launceleyn also flushed. Scratching the back of his head, he swallowed a little. "So you've been spending time with Nate, then?" It was a tentatively offered question.

Lowering his hand, he sent a pulse of understanding through their bond. "You know...and please, tell me to shut up at any point here. But if either of them were here, they'd want you to be happy."

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!