I May Never Trust At All

MORGAN

Eventually, they had done all that could be done for the evening. New Wardens chosen, Old Wardens somehow dealt with, bodies moved to be buried (with the cold, they would not rot from waiting a night) and building rubble cleared for the time being, everyone had to go and rest before they could continue. A flaw of humans, but there had to be a lull for them all to collect themselves before they could rebuild.

Morgan though, could not rest. Her chest was still thumping hours later, hate and anger and despair and victory all at once in her heart. Sat on the battlements of the gate, staring down at the blood on the snow, some from her guards and some from the cultists, she clutched the warm cider someone had brought her and silently tried to come up with some kind of plan, some kind of way to wrap it all up neatly and move on, but she was coming up decidedly empty.

With a sigh and a shake of her head, she kicked a rock down the battlements, watched it crumble as it went along it's short journey. For just a moment it felt as if she were entirely alone, not even the spirits in the air there with her.

Well I guess it's only life, it's only natural

We all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole

Noah Olson We all want something to hold in the night We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight The moon was high in the sky before the majority of the people left to clean up finally left to find beds and warmth. Noah lingered, standing in the aftermath of the attack. He stared out with cold eyes, running through the list of fallen men that he knew. So many of them had families, children, that Noah also now made note of. There were more bellies for him to feed, to help. He could feel the exhaustion creeping down into his bones, but he could not will himself to follow the rest of the people to the Kraai, or Delphine to his home. He did not even know if it was still standing, at this point. He couldn't think about that. He could only think about what all of this meant. Weaver was set with a crown. Noah had rallied his fellow hunters to take place of the fallen guard. Some of them had pledged their change in career, to stand against any more threats that might bring themselves towards their frozen city. So many men were dead. So many women were dead. His heart hurt, and his head throbbed. In his lifetime, Halo had not seen such destruction and despair. It was horrific. He let out a deep sigh, wrapping his arms around himself. He let his eyes move, then, and they fell on the Captain. Noah knew of her, knew of her work and of her father, but had no relationship with her. Seeing as now he had brought people under her orders, there no was better time. He closed the majority of the distance between them, but stopped just a few strides from her. "We lost a lot of good warriors. I'm sorry." He was no master wordsmith, but he was an honest man.

MORGAN

Morgan looked up at the last minute as Noah approached, something in her eyes lost and distant; at first all she managed was a grunt of acknowledgement that he had spoken: it took a further moment for her to shake herself from her fog and nod her head. "Yes. Yes, we did." She agreed, pulling the mug closer to herself as if it were a comfort.

She had never been one for waxing poetic or being particularly talkative, but she found staring down at the bloodied snow, words came to her. If Noah wanted to listen, he could, but she was speaking them more to hear them be said than for anyone else. "..I always told my guards to expect to die on missions but hope to live. I told them I would protect them to the best of my ability. I did not think we would die as a result of our own leader...who I continued to support, even though I knew, I knew--"

With a frustrated sigh she shook her head, pushing a hand through her matted and messed hair.

Well I guess it's only life, it's only natural

We all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole

Noah Olson We all want something to hold in the night We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight Even though Noah was exhausted, both from the long hours of trying to settle things down enough for people to breathe in the aftermath of the battle and the emotions that weighed him down from the loss of his friends and the devastation to his home city. It all felt like too much to hold, and so he let pieces of it fall around him. His eyes, full of sympathy and mourning, stayed fixed on Morgan as she barely recognized his presence at first. If he had a closer relationship to the Captain, he would have reached out to embrace her, to hold her safe and steady in his arms. But he did not know her well, so he kept his arms at his sides. She went on to speak, and Noah merely listened. He could feel the lump at the bottom of his throat, the one that seemed to never leave. It formed hours ago, and was taking up residence within him. He swallowed it down, hard, blinking away any tears that might threaten to wash over his icy eyes. Noah did not personally think it a weakness to cry, but he knew that so many other people did. He had watched his father cry when he felt strong emotion--sadness, happiness, everything in between--and he took after his father so much that is startled some older Halovians as the Olson continued to age and form towards his father, even without his influence for almost more than a decade now. "We all know that this world is unforgiving. The ice takes no prisoners and it does not forget. The men and women in your guard were brave, and we will honor their lives with out own bravery." Even if he did not know what it looked like yet, Noah would stand by his statement.

MORGAN

Noah's words were comforting, particularly as he did not try to excuse Morgan's guilt, not at the moment: she didn't want to hear it right now, needing to feel angry and stupid for a while before she could be more calm around the situation. Looking up to Noah, she was surprised to see a glint of tears in his eyes; she had cried all she had years ago and was not used to dealing with emotion.

"...Sorry, what is your name?" She asked, knowing she recognised the man from the Citadel but never having actually stopped to speak with him. "I...have begun to think maybe I should get to know the people of this Citadel better, if I am sworn to protect it. Some of those guards...I do not even know if they had families. If there is anyone to bury them, to notify."

Well I guess it's only life, it's only natural

We all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole

Noah Olson We all want something to hold in the night We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight The tears did not last long as Morgan spoke again. Noah was able to blink them back and swallow down the lump in his throat enough that he could ignore it for now. He was sure it would all explode when he was alone, and he might let it. Pulling his cloak tight against him, Noah took a few steps forward and sat down, leaning against a clustered mix and ice and stone. Sitting felt good, even though he knew that the terrible cold would grab hold of him eventually. "Noah Olson." He gave her his name, looking out before him. He wasn't sure if Morgan would sit with him, but he gestured that she was welcome to. "I'm a hunter, so I get to know a lot of families in Snowcloak." It was true--while Noah was unversed with the higher ranked members of Halo, he was intimately aware of the everyday people. "I don't think you'll have to inform them," They knew if their family was dead, Noah was sure of that, "But knowing where to go and who to see to give personal condolences might be beneficial for you." Aside from being a hunter and providing for a lot of families in Halo, even families of the guardsmen, a great deal of them had been around his age. He knew them from growing up. "Eli N'ente was one of you guard. He has a wife and a brand new baby. She's not even seen an entire year. They are my neighbors. Kali Stummor's husband hunts with me often, and I'm not sure what he will do without her now." All of their faces danced behind his eyes, and his voice was full of sorrow. "Canin VanDere was a new member of your guard, barely old enough to make his own way in this world, and all he had was his elderly father. I can see their house from my bedroom window." He could go on, if she wanted, but Noah thought that his point was solid. She was right -- she needed to know about the lives of the people that chose to sacrifice them for the safety of Halo.

MORGAN

As Noah introduced himself Morgan went to lean on the battlement rise next to him, putting the cup down by her feet. "Morgan Aristomache." She gave back, even though she knew he likely was already aware. For the moment, she didn't want to be the captain; just wanted to be herself for once, just a person among others. Without the crushing responsibility and blame on her shoulders.

"..Right. Do you think you could help make me a list, then?" Morgan asked, voice tired. It was good to get tasks sorted, but she had come up here for a momentary break from the duty. Still, she'd never turn down the chance to help her guard, especially not in the final way she could.

After that though he went to give names; ones that she recognised, but he added on stories, families...taking a heavy breath Morgan lowered her head into her hands, covering her eyes and not moving, not wanting to hear it. It was the truth, the reality of war that she had long pretended to be aware of, but now? When it was presented like this, when it was her fault? "...Please, no more. Not right now."

Well I guess it's only life, it's only natural

We all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole

Noah Olson We all want something to hold in the night We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight The weight of the names and the stories brought back the lump to the hunter's throat. Halovians knew the feeling of loss well. Hunters died everyday in the Tundra. Noah was lucky to have lived this long -- some only get half as many days as what he had. He swallowed, hard, the sound of it definitely audible to the hardened woman. She had asked him to stop naming the names aloud, giving her their stories, but she had also asked for his help. He nodded, "I will help with whatever you need." It seemed to be a statement that a lot of people would say in the wake of his devastation, but it was a statement that an Olson always meant. They were men of their words, and Noah held it even deeper. He existed to help serve people, he knew that. It was a way to be good. His father had raised him to sacrifice and live in a selfless way. If Morgan needed help, he would give it. Noah tucked his body in as much as he could, huddling within his cloak. Ice tendrils grabbed the tips of his beard and mustache. "Morgan...what are your opinions about Zariah and her crimes?" He asked behind a raised eyebrow, lifting icy eyes up towards the curly haired Captain.

MORGAN

"Thank you. I appreciate that." Morgan nodded to him, the interaction restoring at least some of her faith in the world; her people had always been warm, willing to help when needed and fiercely community minded. "I'm staying at my mother's house while we wait for a new...something to be built." Presumably Noah would know where this was, as her mother was the chief soothsayer and traditional healer of the town.

Noah brought his cloak in closer and Morgan was glad for the enchantment on her own, the bitter cold biting tonight even for Halo. The question he asked came as some surprise and she looked up at him with a frown, not having expected to hear Zariah's name.

"...What crimes do you refer to? I think she is impulsive and irresponsible, to say the least." She answered, clear disdain on her face.

Well I guess it's only life, it's only natural

We all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole

Noah Olson We all want something to hold in the night We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight Noah was not sure how long he would be able to stay out in the cold like this, but he wanted to draw more information about Zariah. He huddled up in his cloak the best he could, listening to Morgan speak her opinion of the other mage. "Well, her crimes as well as Neron's, I guess." He nodded, more to himself than to her. "Offering a child to a god to be murdered is...abhorrent." Murdering the innocent was something that Noah did not think was permissible in life. It was why he dealt with the turmoil of having killed the man in the tundra on a hunt with Korbin. He had done it, truly, to protect himself and the raven. The man had already committed a crime large enough to be living in Whitebrim, but the guttural sound of the woman accompanying him would never leave Noah's memory. He looked up to Morgan. "I am interested to see what Weaver will do with them. If it was your decision, how would you punish them?" Noah wanted to see both Neron and Zariah pay for their crimes against Halo, and he knew by Morgan's anger from before that she, too, wanted to see some wrath upon them.

MORGAN

"A...child to be murdered?!" Morgan asked, clearly alarmed and in the dark about that specific detail. "What do you mean?" Immediately she tensed and her hand went to her sword pommel as if she was going to go an enact vengeance for the crime right away, but she just stared and waited for Noah to fill her in.

It was impossible to say just what punishment was appropriate when it was clear she did not know the true extent of the crimes, but she sighed and pushed a hand through her hair, trying to think. "..I am not sure. In some ways, I think it would have been easier had they died in this assault. In the absence of that, I suppose some kind of prison sentence or perhaps forcing them to work on our rebuilding."

Well I guess it's only life, it's only natural

We all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole

Noah Olson We all want something to hold in the night We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight In the mess of the confrontation, it had not even occured to Noah that Morgan had not heard what Zariah had confessed. He looked up at her for a moment, slightly confused, but lifted his brows and nodded. "Zariah said that Neron made a deal with the Eirachi to give his firstborn child. He broke that by ascending, and Zariah gave the child to the Eirachi to spare the Arcane Academy from her wrath." It made sense that Morgan had lost this in the way she approached and intended to pummel the once-Warden into the snow. "Zariah had her child killed to save her school. The people of Halo suffer, now, and we lost our guard. I don't want to think about the destruction the winter spirit would have enacted without that sacrifice, but it is still a crime." He looked away again, looking out onto the damaged gates. He agreed with her, when it came to their punishment. He, in his own opinion and anger, did not want to the two of them walking the streets. For as trusting as Noah was compared to other Halovians, and as generally amiable towards outlanders as he had been, he held a bitter, bitter taste in his mouth against the entire Launceleyn family at this point. "We will see what Weaver decides for them."

MORGAN

The sordid tale of child sacrifice that Noah wove for her was horrifying indeed and Morgan found it hard to even know what to say; her lips moved but nothing came out: she had not thought Zariah capable of that kind of cruelty. "...I...I am very glad these people are no longer our leaders." Was all she could eventually find to say, shaking her head in disbelief.

The story had at least momentarily knocked her out of her shocked trance and she noticed for the first time just how cold Noah looked. Standing, she reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. "You should head inside. Come." She began to walk to the stairs, talking over her shoulder to him as she went: "You know the people of this Citadel well? What is it you do?"

Well I guess it's only life, it's only natural

We all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole

Noah Olson We all want something to hold in the night We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight In Noah's mind, the act was totally abhorrent. He had no more words for it after Morgan stated her feelings. He merely nodded in agreement. The cold was getting to him. Though he would have stayed longer, as long as he could, she was right that they needed to go inside. Noah was not aware of the protection of the Academy -- he had never asked, and it never occurred to him to ask. As an attuned, the academy did not mean much to him. Standing, Noah wrapped his cloak around him as tight as he could as he followed the Captain. "I'm a hunter," he started, confidently, "I got to know the people well because I had a personal stake in their survival. Especially families of the guard. They are too busy to also go out into the tundra. There are a few of us that spend a lot of time getting to know the people we feed." Not to mention that he had grown up in Halo, and his parents were known well among the people of Snowcloak. "My father was a hunter, too, and when he died I took over for a few families he provided for."