[SE] With the hate of some other man's beliefs

Sam found that in the moonlight the colours of the Rainbow Road took on a different kind of quality. Rather than their usual loud hues in the sun, there was a kind of muted beauty to them here, one if he was a man more tempted to metaphor he could liken to his own self as opposed to who had been with the Voice. He wasn't that poetic though and was mostly sat on a rock watching the Hels. He'd heard the rumours, that if one landed on you you could walk on water: while it wasn't the most fantastical thing he'd ever heard or seen, he thought he might struggle to believe it enough to take the first step out into the ocean. This line of thought lead him to wonder if the Voice had taken his ability to stay underwater too: he supposed he didn't breathe still, so probably not, but... ..He was beginning to learn that there were far more downsides than expected to this. With a sigh he curled up further on the rock, tucking his knees in beneath his chin, feeling especially morose when compared to the screeching of the Hels, who didn't seem to have any respect for the late hour. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Jigano rarely spent nights away from the Grounds anymore, but some questions could only be answered in the dark. Rory had been quietly accepting of his desire to see the geyser field under cover of dark, to see if there was any luminescence in the waters that might hint at the water's source below, and in truth Jigano was glad to steal a little more time in Torchline's heat as Deepfrost took the Grounds in its teeth and shook.

Fox's eyes and ears were more useful in the dark than human ones, but human hands were best for jotting down notes in the grey-covered journal he held as he walked along the edge of the Rainbow Road, recording the timing of eruptions and the colors at play. There didn't seem to be any sign of glowing water or luminous life within it, alas, but that didn't stop the screeching of the seabirds even in the night, and Jigano paused to follow their raucous cries, stepping lightly along the river's shore until he reached the beach and the crying gulls flying around above it.

Human ears would never have heard the nearby sigh, but his furred fox's ears twitched and he looked for the source curiously, finding a familiar red head washed to pale silver by the moonlight. "Sam?" he called out quietly in surprise. "Is that you?"

The screech of the Hels and the softer sounds of waves drowned out Jigano's footsteps, not that Sam was paying too much attention to the world around him anyway: when there was so much on his mind, it was hard to focus on the details of the clouds for too long. He'd already begun to drift off into wondering about The Voice, about Zeph, about all sorts of things, when he heard his name being called. Looking back, Sam's hand grasped the rock tightly as he prepared for trouble: when he saw Jigano he was relieved, though he had to take a moment to adjust to the man's fox eyes and ears. "...Y-yes, it's..mm..mm.." Embarrassed to show his stutter in front of another old friend, Sam paused and tried to collect himself. "Me. Hello, Jigano. I d-didn't think I'd...ssss...see you here." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

His dear, nervous friend. Jigano closed his journal and tucked it into his satchel, ambling his way closer as soon as Sam looked up and the moonlight revealed his face. The old, familiar stutter that the bard hadn't heard in so long caused the welcoming smile to fade from his face, however, and he hurried over to the Chronicler's side.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" He knelt in the sand, heedless of how it clung to his loose trouser legs so that he could look up at his friend worriedly, checking him over for fresh wounds or injuries that might have drawn the old vocal tick back out. "I wanted to study the geysers under the moonlight, to see if they... well, never mind that." His studies mattered far less than his friend's health or fear, and he reached out tentatively to rest his fingers against Sam's arm, knowing how much the other man found reassurance in such contact.

It was clear his attempts to appear normal and well hadn't worked when Jigano immediately rushed over, Sam trying to put on his best reassuring smile at the kneeling man but faltering at the words, the touch on his arm. It was sweet, well meaning, but it was so clear that something was wrong, which set his heart pounding in his chest all over again. He put his fingers momentarily over Jigano's and his smile grew just a touch hopeful. "Um...w-well...you'll p-pr-probably be happy about what's happened, ac...actually." Not the results of it, but the cause, something Jigano had argued he do many times. In the rush of it all, he hadn't thought to tell the bard, but now that he realised he could, he found himself anticipating some pride from his friend, hopefully encouragment. "I left the Voice." Sam told Jigano, eyes meeting the Sage's and his voice steady just for that, the importance of it making him focus as much as he could on each syllable. "I left The Voice, a...and sh-she took...everything. Everything she ev-ever gave me." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

His first thought had been that Sam was stuttering from emotion; fear or sadness that had brought the stumbling utterances he had one struggled back temporarily while he was overwhelmed. Jigano was relieved when the bookmaker accepted his offered touch, some of the tension leaving his worried expression as Sam smiled and returned the light reassurance. He wasn't sure what he'd be happy about that had seemingly upset his friend so much, but he tilted his head to listen quietly, letting Sam take his time and find his words on his own.

The revelation, when it came, was nothing he had expected, and he drew in a sharp and almost painful breath in shock. Wide blue eyes met blue-green, focusing fully on the red-haired Natural as the bard stilled. The breath remained held, trapped within for long moments as he processed what Sam said, and then he was rising and reaching out to try and pull Sam into an awkward but gentle embrace.

"Your courage humbles me," he said quietly, heart unexpectedly racing at the wonder of the news. "I am proud to call you friend, Samuel Wordsworth. I was before, but now... now more than ever. There are very few who can stand up to a god. How did you come to this decision?" For it could not have been easy, not with how staunchly Sam had been the Voice's loyal defender for so long.

There was something gratifying in seeing Jigano's reaction, the clear shock on his face: it was nice to have surprised him with something good for once, no matter how hard it had been. He accepted the hug easily, happy for some comfort of even the most awkward variety. It was Jigano's words though that actually truly touched him, the pride in them bringing tears to his eyes when he thought he'd cried his last. "Th-thank you." He smiled as they parted, blinking to get rid of the wetness in his eyes. "Um...it...it was a long t-term thing. Honestly...a l..lot of the times, when you sp-spoke to me about it, I alr..already had doubts anyway." He'd just gotten very good at pushing them down, at making himself ignore the bits he didn't like. "I c-can't tell you e..everything, but..The Voice pu-put me in a position where it...it was me against all the o-other Ascended une-necessarily. It just...m-made everything ma..make sense. I got s-sick of it." He shook his head and sighed. "...She d-didn't like me leaving." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

The bard made no mention of the dampness glistening on his friend's cheeks in the moonlight, instead listening intently to Sam's tale. The bookmaker had been so adamant in his defense of the Voice whenever they'd spoken that it was hard to believe that he'd harbored any doubts, but then again...

The lady doth protested too much, as the saying went. There was no stauncher defender than a man who was sallying against his own doubts as much as the arguments of another.

"She forced you into that position, protested your departure, and still you defend her?" Jigano asked ruefully, giving a slight shake of his head as he released the embrace and settled onto a rock beside his friend. "I'm sorry, Sam. We knew she'd never let anyone go easily. So this is a punishment for not doing as she wished of you? For not submitting to her directives?"

Admittedly, the shrieking of the nearby seabirds was not providing the best ambience for this conversation, and Jigano slanted an exasperated glare at the small flock, wheeling and diving in the moonlight. A gentle nudge from his Beastmaster ability sent most of the birds winging away further down the beach, but a couple broke away from the flock to circle back, spiraling curiously around the pair of man on their rocks.

"No, I'm n...nn..not defending her. But I c-can't just give away ev..every detailed of the As..as-cendeds business." Sam knew if the reason for the meeting and the eventual vote came out, there would be no shortage of angry people looking out for Ascendeds to punish, not to mention himself. "I stil..still have friends there. Rexanna." Okay, maybe one friend, but still. He watched the Hels fly away, relieved for an end to the noise and sure Jigano had something to do with it, though he couldn't see the man use his Attuned powers. The moment gave him a chance to try and formulate some words on the question he had been asked at least and he responded after a moment spent picking at the rock, trying to think of the right words. "It's...I d-don't know if she'd say...say it was a p-punishment. I said I wan...wanted to live without her. So..so she said al-alright. And t-t-took all I got from her." He sighed: in a way, it was fair. "...But I'm st...still Ascended, so I need t-to drink and a..avoid sunlight." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

It gave the bard pause to hear that Sam had stood against Ascended 'business' and been punished for it. What cruelty had the Voice undertaken, that the bookmaker had stood against? That the others had been willing to do in the name of the Voice - Rexanna included? Another set of deaths, like the Fae and the Mathair? Like the guardian serpent? More killing to add to the Voice's bloody tallies as she honed her children into weapons and cast them at the world and the Old Gods's servants?

Jigano's expression fell to neutral lines for a few moments, but he nodded slow acceptance of Sam's decision. "Of course," he murmured. His friend still was Ascended, after all, even if only in the most basic sense. Even if he'd left the Voice he was still one of them in the end. "Was Rexanna against you, too?" In this decision the Voice had forced on him so cruelly.

His attention was momentarily taken by the birds, and though he was able to send most away he was curious to see which ones lingered. A silver brow arched in curiosity as they came closer, keen black eyes shining in the moonlight as they seemed to hope the pair of men might be holding out on them with some treats.

Sam's stuttering brought the bard's eyes back to his friend, however, and he listened thoughtfully as the deal that had been struck was revealed in more detail. "She didn't take everything, then," he said, a bitter wryness to his tone. "She took the strengths she'd given, yes, but she didn't take the weaknesses. Didn't return you to the way you'd been before, or give you back the strengths she'd taken from you at your Ascencion. Maybe it's because she can't... but... I suspect it's because she refuses to try. And why would she? It's never been about giving the Ascended a choice if they change and grow from the people they were when they come to her. If they become disenchanted with her killing ways they are still bound to her without any other option. Just the way she wants it, I suspect." He sighed and shook his head, offering Sam an arm up if he'd take it.

"I'm sorry, old friend. You never deserved to be caught in such a trap. No one does."

Sam watched Jigano consider his words, wondering what horrors the bard was imagining in the place of the honestly rather mundane drama that had occurred. Of course, no one else could ever know that Sam had argued for not fighting the Longnight monsters - he wasn't sure Jigano would still even be on his side if he knew. "Rexanna was. ..Everyone wa-was against me...except N-Neron, I think? But..he wa-was new and mo..more willing to comp-compromise." He nodded when Jigano pointed out the Voice had not taken everything. She'd left him half-broken, ruined in all the ways Ascended were but not with any of the benefits. "..Am..Amalia and I are go-going to the Safrin Shrine. T..to see if sh-she might do something. I doubt it, but...I h..have to try." Sam sighed, wrung his hands together: he was more anxious about the shrine visit than he had been about anything in a long time. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Neron, former Warden of Halo, had been the voice of reason? Jigano's brow rose, but his few interactions with the man had indicated a personality of cool efficiency, little overcome by emotion - and that was before he had Ascended. If whatever had been asked of the Ascended hadn't been of immediate benefit to Neron, the bard could well believe he had taken a more hands-off approach. Still, he was saddened to hear that even Rexanna - who touted herself as being unswayed by the Voice's rhetoric and able to walk the balance between races and Gods Old and New - had turned on Sam in the end.

Sam had made it clear he didn't want to spill more details though, so Jigano pushed no further on that line of questioning, all his ire turned fully to the Voice's unfair bargain and how she twisted the rules to suit herself, the same as Safrin had done to him. And think of the devil...

The bard flinched at hearing her name from Sam's lips, saddened further when the bookmaker didn't take his offered hand. He let it fall back to his side and turned away to look out over the moonlit ocean, eyes finding the bold gulls that had snuck closer. With a wry smile he reached into his well of magic and flexed his hands, feeling the bread form in his fingers, still warm. He tore it into chunks and tossed it to the trio of birds who had remained, earning their riveted attention as they pounced on the treat.

"I doubt it, too," he admitted quietly. "She is... too cruel. Too jealous. Like the Voice in many ways, more so than the other old gods. She might do it for vanity, or petty proving of a point against the Voice... but I think not." He wandered closer to the water as he spoke, keeping his pained expression hidden from his friend. "I don't think she can, to be honest. She hasn't the power. It would take the intervention of Vi or Rae to undo the Voice's meddling. Rae might be the most likely, given the nature of change and growth and physical form. Perhaps all three of the Old Gods combined would be needed, though. At least this first time."

Sam watched Jigano throw bread to the Hels, smiled at the easy distraction of watching the birds enjoy their meal (and screech at each other over it). The smile couldn't last long, though; Jigano was right. Safrin was hardly known for her generous spirit, only a few devoted followers believing she had a good heart. Sam wasn't really sure what he believed, but he knew she didn't like him. "..Then...I was ss-saying to Amalia, that..." Sam swallowed, tried to make sure he didn't cry when saying the next part, but his voice still shook and almost broke: "...If...i-if the Gods can't help, I might d-d...die. Amalia said shh--she'd kill me, if I b-became a monster." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

He could not have predicted what Sam said next, lean form going rigid in shock. Jigano twisted to face his friend, hearing the tears verging in the bookmaker's voice and striding swiftly back to close the distance between them. Amalia, taking a life? Sam giving his up, now that he'd found a friends and family who loved him?

"Sam, Sam, what are you..." He broke off, shaking his head at an utter lack of words. The very thought of Sam dying drove a blade of ice through his heart and Jigano felt his hands clench as if to hold tightly to his friend's soul. As if by holding it close he could keep it from leaving.

Jigano drew in a shuddering breath, shocked anew at how deeply affected he was but not denying the emotion - the fear - that coursed through him as he reached out to squeeze Sam's shoulder. "What do you mean, you might die?" He forced his voice to remain steady, though he couldn't quite stop the frightened tremble at the end; a poor excuse for his years of training, but he didn't want to hide how badly he was affected by his friend's words. "What... sort of monster do you fear becoming?"