just a hole where my heart used to be

Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling

The floorboard emitted a warning groan a second before it snapped. Korbin's foot crashed through, the jagged edges of charred wood eating into his shin. He hissed and gingerly pulled the leg up, balancing carefully as he picked through the burned out husk of the house.

It was a ruin. Perfectly illustrating what had become of the Hale's. Nothing remained in this place, where a home had once been. How long had it been in the family? Generations, probably. And now it was gone.

He came to a halt in what had once been the kitchen. A pile of rubble blocked the spot where he had been sitting, and Korbin twisted his mouth into a bitter grimace. Not a smile; he couldn't, these days. If Loren hadn't come, he would have ended here, along with this building. Along with the rest of the ghosts, the memories, the dreams that would never become reality.

If only Loren hadn't showed up.

"At least you got a good pyre, eh, sis?" he murmured to the silence. Smoke rose from his breath in the cold air. It surprised him. His insides felt so numb, they might as well have been frozen stiff.

Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

black hearts, the wicked never rest. i curse the day i let you in

so tell me dear,

She’s trying to check on him – because of course she is. She’d hurt him to keep him from leaving. And in turn, he’d tried every chance he could to hurt himself even more. She’s never been that low before, not aside from her breakdowns, and when she finds the footprints in the snow leading to a burned down building, she can only imagine she knows who is inside.

She wonders what he’s doing, first of all.

But she doesn’t announce her presence just yet, instead she slips inside – unannounced, uninvited, but if he’d been true in his words he’d not care. Her gaze flickers around the house and what was utterly and totally lost, spending a few moments recollecting on her own homes during the varying worlds she’d lived in. And when she finally finds Korbin, she notices it’s the kitchen.

The Harpy still says nothing, remaining as quiet as can be as she leans against a soot stained doorframe, still managing to stand relatively strong, letting her gaze wash over him. She has some sort of inkling what a place like this might bring back to the forefront of his mind. After all, she isn’t without her demons either – she’s just gotten used to them following, clinging to her with every step.

can your heart still break?

if it's already stopped breathing?

KIADA

Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling

He looked a weary shadow where he stood. The light of day was dim and wan, clouds blown like tattered rags over a sky where blue only shone through upon occasion, and in this house where most of the roof had caved in, the gloom lay heavy. Charred beams of precious wood was strewn all about, black as the unruly hair and his brothers coat that he still wore. It was too wide over the shoulders for him, as if he had yet to fully grow into himself... and he looked every bit the orphaned child in this moment, though he had done the labor of men for many years.

He didn't move. Hands tucked into deep pockets, he merely gazed about, dazed and unseeing. As Kiada entered the ruined room behind, his shoulders tensed. But he didn't turn to look at her. It was a long time before he said anything.

"'Us against the world'. It's what she told me, when she finally came home from the healer's house." Korbin sounded tired, and he spoke quietly. Almost as if to himself. "Erebor had been dead for weeks, and she only barely survived. I never thought she would make it. Thought I'd burn both my siblings in the span of a few days. But she lived, and she promised that we would do everything together from now on."

Slowly, he turned where he stood, and looked at Kiada. Briefly, he actually saw her, looked at her like he had before all this. Then pain washed over his expression and he turned his eyes away. Gleaming damp, tears never really gone long.

"I never wanted to do anything without her." The words were pressed out, past a lump in his throat that turned the voice hoarse and rough.

Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

black hearts, the wicked never rest. i curse the day i let you in

so tell me dear,

Her arrival is noticed, but she says nothing until he chooses to. If he chooses to. Instead, simply leaning against that soot stained door frame, focused on his figure against the rest of the destruction – knowing so intimately what it felt like to be the last one, to be the only one left. But she says nothing, nothing until moments pass and she ends up shoving her gloved hands into her furs to keep them warm with the rest of her.

Her head lifts when he speaks, drinking in the story – because at least he’s talking now. And with it, she waits. He turns to look at her, her own iceberg gaze focusing on him and giving him her full attention when he actually sees her, before the darkness is cast over him once more. And she’s moving then, slowly toward him, arms outstretched to try and rest her hands on him, to give him some sort of tether in the dark. “I know.” She says quietly, because she’d thought the same once.

Never one without the other, that’s what her and Kianzo had always said. And then he was kidnapped, returned to her wrong and taken away again.

“I lost my twin.” She offers quietly, letting her gaze wash over him, trying to make that connection with him where she could. “Everything changes, everything reminds you of them, everything hurts for so long after. I’m sorry you have to experience it, Korbin.” She frowns then, hoping that she might be able to pull him into a hug, to give him some semblance of comfort when everyone else wanted to tell him how he should be reacting. You couldn’t put an expectation on grief. Korbin’s is different from hers, different in the sense that Kiada had raged at the god that had taken him from her. Had stormed up to Kisamoa in the Rift and essentially spat in his face.

What kind of reward was losing everything?

can your heart still break?

if it's already stopped breathing?

KIADA

Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling

She drew closer, as he spoke. The hands she put on him made him flinch. They were too solid, too real. Reminded him that this wasn't a bad dream after all. Korbin made a move to withdraw, but she wrapped arms around him and there was no energy in him for fighting it. He stood numbly, stiff and reluctant, every fraction of skin wanting to shrink back from the contact.

She tried to empathize, speaking of personal loss. A twin. It didn't move him. It was not his problem. But something she said made the muscles of his jaws feather and clench.

"I don't want to experience it. Why are you forcing me to live like this?" If she knew what it was like, even a fraction of it, then why did she force him to stay? Kiada, Loren... did they hate him that much? Was this the punishment for not smiling and acting like he cared?

If they really cared, they should have let him go.

Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

black hearts, the wicked never rest. i curse the day i let you in

so tell me dear,

He flinches as she touches him, and she doesn’t really intend to have that happen. But… She sighs quietly, keeping him there, wrapping her arms around him even if he seems more lightly to be a frightened deer than anything else. And when his voice hits her ears, she frowns, closing her eyes as she tries to figure out just what to say. She’s not great when dealing with people and their grief, already having too much of her own to go around and share. So when she has a moment of pause to think about it, she focuses on him again.

“Because.” She says softly, keeping that frown to her face. “Because it gets easier. You have people that care about you, that want you here. Please don’t leave us too.” She grows quieter at the end with the admission. She didn’t know Korbin well, but she did consider him a friend at the very least – one of the few for her in Halo. And now her other friend is gone, his sister, the only thing Kiada had left was singed hair from where Weaver had burned part of her braid while they’d trained.

She didn’t want to lose another piece of Halo, and perhaps that made her selfish.

can your heart still break?

if it's already stopped breathing?

KIADA

Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling

It was selfish. How long would she stay here? As soon as the storms settled and the temperatures eased, she would leave. Not likely to return, after seeing the true cruelty of a Halo winter. Once she was back among her own people, how much thought would she spare for Halo? How often would she remember Weaver? How long would it truly plague her, if he too became nothing more than a memory?

Did any of his so called 'saviours' really care about him? No. He would be kept alive only to ease that niggling guilt at the back of their minds. That at least they had saved one of the siblings. The one they liked less, who smiled least... Weaver was the one they really cared about.

Weaver was the only one he really, truly cared about too. And she was gone.

Korbin freed himself and stepped back from her. From a pocket he withdrew the dagger he had found in his sister's room. The blade was still nicked, and kept in the sheath, because he hadn't sharpened it yet. He tossed it to Kiada, heedless of whether she caught it or let it fall into the ash.

"Cling to that, if you need something to remember her by." His expression had turned cold. "I won't be used as some token to ease the feelings of strangers. My sister was the only reason why I kept going, and that reason is gone. I don't want 'better'. I don't want to get used to a life without her. I want to join her, and my mother, and father, and my brother, and finally be rid of this never ending fucking pain."

As he spoke his town grew steadily harsher and ended in a snarl, punctuated by a savage kick to a charred beam. It unbalanced the pile of debris that rested on top, and with a groan, the whole section toppled and crashed to the ground. A cloud of soot rose like black vapors into the air, billowing around Korbin like miasma. As if his rage and grief had taken form and become visible to the naked eye.

Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

black hearts, the wicked never rest. i curse the day i let you in

so tell me dear,

He frees himself from her and she lets him, stepping back to give him space. But she still watches him, quietly, eyes immediately snapping to the blade in his hand and wondering what he chooses to do with it, muscles in her body preparing to launch herself at him should he do anything dangerous to himself with it.

She’d be lying if she didn’t twitch to reach for her throwing knives just in case.

But then the blade is spiraling toward her, and she snatches it out of the air between them, iceberg gaze narrowing on Korbin quickly as he speaks. And perhaps she could relate a bit more to him, if it weren’t for the way he kicks up the ash and soot, as she stares at him like she doesn’t understand. And perhaps she’s a terrible person for the shift in her gut as she moves swiftly — ever the trained warrior she had become, to throw the knife until the blade pierced the wood in front of his feet, sticking out of the ground as she focuses on him again.

“I don’t want a keepsake of her, Korbin. Items get lost, stories get told wrong, and then you’re fucking forgotten. So you live because of them. You live to tell their stories so they’re not forgotten.” She snaps, a sneer on her face. “I am all that’s left, too. Out of everyone. I lost my twin, my siblings — I even lost my companion when I came here. Caido is cruel, but do not sit there and pretend that I’m doing this because I don’t care or I don’t get it.” Her lips shift to something akin to a cruel smile as she shakes her head.

“You’re stronger than that, than this. Weaver knew that. I know that.” A hiss of air slips from her lips and she pins him with a shadowed, piercing, cold stare. “I know how much it destroys your soul. But you do it anyway, because life isn’t fucking about us, is it? If it was, everything would pander to what we want, where none of this happens.”

can your heart still break?

if it's already stopped breathing?

KIADA

Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling

Korbin's eyes fell on the dagger where it sat quivering in the wood, and he looked vaguely disappointed. For a moment, he had dared to hope she would aim it at him. But clearly not.

"You don't actually know me well enough to know if I'm strong or not," Korbin pointed out, with chilling calm. It was stark in contrast to the outburst a moment ago, as if the bodily reaction had shifted something inside him. And not for the better. "A night in the sack is all you have to go on, and it has clearly left you with some illusions."

Reaching down, he yanked the knife out of the board and twirled it between his fingers, deft and dexterous. "Fact is, I'm not strong. Weaver was. She was the one who kept me going. She gave me goal and purpose.

"I don't care if she is rememebered for eternity or forgotten tonorrow. I don't care if I am, either. Life isn't about me, you say? You're right. It is about her. Always was. And now it's not anymore." His voice caught as he said it. The words were forced out, physically painful to say.

"So tell me, Kiada. Why should I have to struggle on towards an unavoidable end and endure meaningless pain when I don't want to? And don't give me crap about caring; I am a stranger, and I don't owe you anything. You don't love me, and you don't need me. As soon as the portal can be reached you will be out of here. If I'm alive or dead won't matter. It will not affect your life."

He looked at her, eyes just as cold. It was inconcievable to Korbin why she was here. Never had he done anything to invite her in or lead her on, and he had been perfectly clear about not caring about her. Was she arguing just for the sake of it?

Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

black hearts, the wicked never rest. i curse the day i let you in

so tell me dear,

“You think that’s how I know you?” She begins, a scoff of a laugh slipping from her lips, realizing that he’s seeing what she’s getting at but he’s not quite understanding it either. “Life isn’t about her either.” She snaps, taking a step toward him and keeping her iceberg gaze trained on him. “But she was my friend, too. And we talked about you, you know. When we trained a few days before the palace fell?” Another few steps brings her closer to Korbin, until she’s in his space again with all the flame she can muster —

Wondering how if this was home, if her spine would be flaring with images of snakes and spiders shooting from the flames.

“I wanted to help you because of her. Because you’re quiet and never give anyone a chance if they aren’t exactly as miserable as you are. But here’s a hint, everyone is.” Hissing under her breath in a plume or white she almost wishes were the smoke of the fire burning within her, she remains where she stands. “She’s with Mort, with your brother and your mother, looking down and watching you. That’s at least some solace.” Her arms cross along her chest, thinking of Ru’in, whose poor soul is dangled like a puppet every year, her brother and family who weren’t a part of Caido to be gone with no connection, no ability to look forward to seeing them again. Just gone.

She doesn’t have it in her to argue with the rest of his attempts to push her away, too focused on the one thing he does still have.

can your heart still break?

if it's already stopped breathing?

KIADA

Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling

Even as she stalked closer, Korbin remained where he was. Stood his ground - though truth was, he had jagged debris all around him and there was nowhere to back off to. Not exactly trapped, still able to shift and fly off, but he felt cornered all the same.

"So what is it all about, then? Rising up against adversity? Love and hope and happiness? Gritting your teeth and enduring against all odds? A constant chase to prove that you're strong and kind and oh so noble, doing things you hate to please the people who just happens to be around at the time?" His mouth twisted with disgust, the words like dry ash on the tongue. Korbin shook his head.

"Go ahead and do it all to your heart's content. But leave me out of it. I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore. Mort won't care if I come now or later, and I really don't care to drag this out."

His fingers tightened on the hilt of the dagger, and he raised it up quickly, clearly meaning to put it to his own throat. There was no hesitation in his eyes, or in the motion. Only pain and determination.

It would have been better if she wasn't there, but as she wouldn't be driven off by words... so be it.

Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

After saving Korbin from the burning house, Loren knew he had to check on the younger man. Thankfully, Halo was a small community, and even with people mostly cooped up inside, someone was able to let the healer know that the Hale was at their old home. Sighing, Loren had thanked the woman, and then headed over to rescue Korbin once again. Astra picked her way behind him, bleating plaintively.

The sound of Kiada's voice was a surprise. Seeing his breath puff in the air as he navigated the charred wreckage reminded him of how cold it must be. The sky was visible above, a gloomy and overcast grey, and he summoned a phoenix to provide what warmth he could. He wasn't exactly trying to hide his presence.

However, as he finally saw Korbin, saw the knife the other man had brought to his throat, Loren moved in a flash. Immediately, he was beside the Hale, the healer's arm blocking Korbin's, Loren telekinesis reaching out to pluck the knife from the Hale's fingers.

"Inside. Both of you." The healer's voice rang with as much authority as he could muster, and he backed it up with a command from his mind. His companion, seeing the tableau before her, let out a anxious bleat, reminded of another scene with a young man who'd tried to slit his own throat.

Only Loren had succeeded.

you are lost, hope is gone

but you must go on

Loren

Base Code by Sky!

black hearts, the wicked never rest. i curse the day i let you in

so tell me dear,

Her lips part at the accusations Korbin spews at her. The way he’s interpreted her help wrong and how she could go red in the face and he still just wouldn’t understand. He wasn’t ready to yet, which was fine enough. If only he didn’t try to take it out on other people who only wanted to help. “No, that’s not at all –” She cuts herself off with a shake of her head, gaze narrowing as he pulls the dagger up to his throat.

Her body twitches in the attempt to move toward him – before she spots the flames of something nearby, and the approach of another. Loren’s swift, reaching Korbin’s side in an instant, plucking the knife from Korbin’s hand, and Kiada clenches her jaw at the authority that Loren tries to give her.

“No. You deal with this.” She snaps to the summoner, twisting on her heel and shifting to her vulture form – departing out into the cold once more on wings of black and white.

- Fin for Kia!

can your heart still break?

if it's already stopped breathing?

KIADA

Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling

His hand had been moving swiftly, with purpose and intent. The sharp edge of the blade bit into his skin, carved a red line of agony against the pale throat. Meant to cut deep, sever arteries, spill forth lifeblood until he was no more. Only another name offered to the wind.

But he was not permitted. Korbin never saw where Loren came from, but the Healer's grip on his arm halted the path of the dagger before it became more than a shallow cut. And then the blood-stained knife was wrested from his grip, and Korbin was left to stare numbly at Kiada. Her eyes were hard, the words clipped as she washed her hands of him.

The satisfaction of having finally driven her away never came. She turned and left, blurring into the vulture he had never quite gotten a chance to look at properly, and all Korbin felt was that vague sense of shame. Like he had let someone down. Weaver perhaps, or himself.

Or maybe the man that just saved his life, for the third time. What a thankless job.

"You really can't leave it alone, can you," Korbin muttered to Loren, and tried to pull his arm free. He couldn't bring himself to look up; warm wetness trickled slowly down his neck, but he made no move to wipe it away.

Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone