all the times that I keep holding onto
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,765
MP: 0
#1
Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling
It was early. The residual winds of the latest snowstorm howled outside the training hall and the shadows stretched long from the torches in their sconses along the walls. The flames flickered and hissed in the draft, and it was cold inside, the air biting even though brasiers glowed in the corners, kept alive by the soldiers that passed through whenever a shift changed. Korbin kept well away from them as he slipped in through the door and brushed snow from his hair and clothes, and they made no attempts to approach him. Already he was regretting this destination, but the options were so limited, and he couldn't stand to listen to the squealing babies and the grating, endless discussions between the women on who should do what. The men were even worse; cooped up for too long, all the talk had an undertone of passive aggression, just waiting for an excuse to flare up in arguments. Already. The sun hadn't even risen properly yet.

He was regrettably sober. Or what could pass for it anyway, these days; the pounding in his head suggested that he had a lot of sleep to catch up on before that would be completely true, and there was a taste like a garbage heap in his mouth. Chulane's efforts to clean him up were slowly coming undone, and the jutting cheekbones spoke of failed attempts to get any food down. Or keeping it. He was a mess, and Korbin knew it. Some days it bothered him, and he tried to tidy up, tried to put in some effort, get back on his feet. But... those moments never lasted long. At the end of the day, the bottle always found its way back into his hand, and the only sleep he got were scattered hours between tossing and turning, between nightmares and constant, churning thoughts that left him no peace.

Restlessly he roamed the stacks, eying weapons without knowing what he was looking for. Swords, spears, daggers, bows... At one point he reached out and picked up a heavy quarter staff, and turned it a few times between his hands. But his limbs felt heavy and his thoughts unfocused, and eventually he set it back into the rack. Sighed, and turned to keep wandering.

There did not seem to be any point in training. He never actually liked it, and... well. What difference did it make when arrows just bounced off dragon scales anyway?
Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone
Morgan Aristomache
the Glacier
Warden of Halo

Age: 42 | Height: 5' 9" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 6 - Strg: 23 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 14 - Int:
EUNIKE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,025 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#2

Morgan
The training grounds were still in a sorry state, but there wouldn't really be any fixing it until Flowerbirth: that was the case with a lot of the Citadel, really. On hold until the torturous cold lifted; it did not affect Morgan personally with her cloak ever around her shoulders but she could not do most of the work on her own, even the strongest spirit unable to lift up entire buildings or fix the whole of the Citadel.

Still, there were some things she could do: she had been making sure that they had a good stock of weapons left in case of another attack; it would be disastrous, but she wanted to be sure they had some kind of chance. It was when she was walking along the supplies, noting down in a book the inventory of the armoury, when she saw Korbin. He took a quarterstaff and she narrowed her eyes, ready to lecture him about stealing guard weaponry, when he put it back after some aimless fumbling.

It wasn't hard to guess why Korbin looked quite so miserable, with the late and short-lived Warden's death still ringing in Morgan's ears. With a sigh, she began to approach, feeling like she ought to give some kind of condolence: after all, she had known Weaver and had spoken to Korbin a couple of times. "Korbin." She spoke as she got close, nodding. "I am...sorry, about Weaver. How are you doing?"

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,765
MP: 0
#3
Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling
Sorry. They all were. Terribly, terribly sorry. But hey, life went on, and that sorrow seemed to bother them about as much as a pebble in the shoe. The condolences felt hollow, and as Korbin slowly looked up at Morgan, his haggard face was expressionless. Something listless and haunted about the look in his eyes, that did not quite focus on her.

"Captain. No, I guess it's Warden now... how convenient. How does it look like I'm doing?" Tucking cold hands into his brother's oversized long coat, the young man turned more fully towards her, so that she might see better the ruin he was making of himself.

Arching a brow, he invited her to dole out her judgement on him. Everyone else were very keen and very quick to do that very thing, and Korbin was eager to get it over with. What kind would she be; the one to scold, to soothe, to knock him over the head and try to force-feed him? It would be nice if she would give zero fucks and save her sorry for someone who wanted sympathy, but that was probably too much to hope for.
Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone
Morgan Aristomache
the Glacier
Warden of Halo

Age: 42 | Height: 5' 9" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 6 - Strg: 23 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 14 - Int:
EUNIKE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,025 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#4

Morgan
Morgan was not expecting Korbin to greet her with smiles and hugs, but nor was she expecting the tone in his voice, the thinly veiled anger beneath the words. 'Convenient', he said, as if she had purposefully orchestrated Weaver's death for personal gain; as if the tragedies that had befallen Halo were somehow her fault, when she had been working hard to stop them.

It would be an understatement to say that single word angered her; it infuriated her.

"You are permitted to feel whatever grief you want. But." She drew herself up to her full height: still a couple of inches shorter than Korbin, but she had always known how to look intimidating, how to puff out her chest and glare at a misbehaving rookie. "Don't you dare act as if I have done anything not in the best interests of our Citadel. I was willing to stand behind your sister as Captain and I stood against Loren because we both know the Launceleyns have no place in our government."

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,765
MP: 0
#5
Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling
Even though she no doubt could thrash him to within an inch of his life, it was hard to be intimidated when her full height had her reaching his shoulder, at best. The dull glower Korbin returned at her held festering resentment, and the twist of his lips wad bitter.

"Then why weren't you at the Gates when the dragon came? Why did she have to fight that Ursur alone? I thought you were supposed to have her back... or is the Warden not counted among those whom your guards are supposed to protect? I'll remember that when it's you who are called away alone to fight off a creature that whole armies would hesitate to take on."

He was angry. At Weaver, for going off on her own. At Morgan for not going with her - why had the guard turned to his sister instead of the captain, instead of Loren who might have spelled the dragon away?  - and above all, he was furious with himself.

He had been right there, only a call away, and yet... he'd let her out of his sight. Had filled his thoughts with tasks and the well being of other people and allowed himself to forget about the one person who actually mattered.

Now she was gone. And there was no end to the list of people he would never forgive. Morgan was a convenient target. She could defend herself. His sister no longer had that chance.
Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone
Morgan Aristomache
the Glacier
Warden of Halo

Age: 42 | Height: 5' 9" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 6 - Strg: 23 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 14 - Int:
EUNIKE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,025 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#6

Morgan
It seemed that Korbin had been holding on to some resentment for some time about this and Morgan couldn't help but stare in surprise as he continued down this track: did other people in the Citadel think this way? That because she was not able to stop every tragedy in Halo she was a poor Captain?

Perhaps, if she were someone more tuned into emotional needs and intricacies, she would have been able to see what Korbin was doing; that he was hurting and turning that hurt outwards. As it was, she saw a completely aimless and uncalled for attack on her leadership, one from someone that frankly was not important enough to launch one.

"I cannot be everywhere at once. I was visiting the families of fallen guards; as soon as I heard I went to help -- it was too late." A touch of sadness entered her voice here; it was difficult to talk about that day without some emotion. "Our guard troops were greatly depleted and the Warden should not have gone out to tackle the issue herself...it was a combination of unfortunate events." Not really anyone's fault, in the end. Still though, a retort found it's way out of her even though she knew it was a bad idea: "If you believe we all should have known she was in trouble...where were you, Korbin?"

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,765
MP: 0
#7
Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling
"...where were you?"

Touché. His face twisted, the fists clenching at his side. The breath sucked in through gritted teeth was drowned out by the thundering of wind outside, but agony added to the anger enough that he kept himself in check. Turning quiet, facing inwards rather than lashing out.

Maybe it would have been better if he trief to hit her. It certainly was tempting.

"Not where I should have been," he said hoarsely, so heavy with guilt he wondered that the floor could carry him. "But I'm sure the outsiders I carried blankets and firewood to are sleeping warmly. A great trade; my sister's life for a few fat farmers and sniveling brats who never had any reason to be here."

That had been Loren's idea. And Neron's. Two more people on his list; he would get to them eventually.

"If the Launceleyns have no place in the government, why is Loren still part of it?" Was he not still Grand Healer?
Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone
Morgan Aristomache
the Glacier
Warden of Halo

Age: 42 | Height: 5' 9" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 6 - Strg: 23 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 14 - Int:
EUNIKE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,025 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#8

Morgan
Morgan felt righteously smug when Korbin clearly couldn't think of anything to say in response to her question, folding her arms as she raised her eyebrow, a silent well? As much as she had her own doubts about her position as Warden and her worthiness of the title, she would not have someone unfairly sneer at her about it or tell lies.

She badly wanted to tell him to shut up and be more gracious to the people that his sister had so bravely offered to serve, but she tried to take a breath, hold her tongue. As Warden, she needed to aim to be understanding and connected with her citizens. "When my father was murdered, I was not present. I didn't even know until months later; so I would ask you this: what would you have done, if you were there? It is unlikely your presence would have stopped her death. Things happen as the spirits bid them and our own egos have little to do with it. Do not disparage yourself for failing to know in advance what would happen."

As for the Launceleyns, she took a difficult breath and nodded, tilting her head from side to side. "I hesitated myself about it. But Loren renounced the family name, and in the gate attack he healed and fought with the rest of us. I believe he is a decent man and wishes to move on from the shackles of his family name. He was never the trouble causer between them: that honour is Neron and Zariah's."

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,765
MP: 0
#9
Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling
Korbin was in no mood to be fair. Or reasonable. Or understanding. Graciousness had never been part of his makeup either. What was in him, then? He was alive and breathing, talking and walking, but everything else was put in question by Chulane's brutal attempts to keep him from destroying himself. All he thought of himself, all his reasons and reactions had been picked apart and thrown on the floor, and he was lost in the chaos of trying to reassemble some sort of self from the pieces.

His response whenever he failed? Rage. Frustration. Lashing out, seeking some target to vent his emotions on. If there was truly no one to blame for Weaver's death, then what was he to do with all this seething anger? He wasn't even actually against Loren's seat on the council, it was just... one more thing to rant about, when he couldn't stand to be in his own head anymore.

"I would have stood by her side through all of it, and gone with her to Mort when there was nothing else left to do," he said hoarsely, still raging against his inability to do just that. Damn Loren for calling in that debt, and curse Chulane, for forcing reasons to live on him. He was not grateful for it, not a damn bit. Not today. "I know I wouldn't have made a difference. But at least I would be with her."

Korbin sighed, a frustrated hiss that steamed and smoked in the cold air. He didn't have the energy needed to keep arguing, or the facts to keep inventing arguments. It did nothing to ease the storm within, he was still seething, and her rational responses only made it worse.

"Fine. Your headache," he said, through gritted teeth, tone clipped. Knew he was being rude and irrational, but it felt good to lash out. Something he hated in himself... but it was one thing too many to work on.
Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone
Morgan Aristomache
the Glacier
Warden of Halo

Age: 42 | Height: 5' 9" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 6 - Strg: 23 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 14 - Int:
EUNIKE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,025 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#10

Morgan
"Then we'd have double the tragedy and no one to remember her as well as you can." Morgan said back plainly, having little patience for self-pitying wishes of death. Truthfully she had little patience for this conversation at all and if Korbin did not show some sign of willingness to be anything other than a sullen child soon, she would have to leave before she said something she regretted. "Things happen as they are meant to. Mourn for your sister without getting stuck in the past. The present is right now and you need to be in it."

As for the Launceleyns, she was quite glad to put that one to bed too. Hands on her hips she stood and waited to see if Korbin felt like speaking like an adult, or if she'd be walking away.

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,765
MP: 0
#11
Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling
The woman spoke as one had never suffered a loss, even though the murder of her admired father should suggest differently. Either she had not been broken by it or she had forgotten what it was like, because there was no comfort to find in her reply, no hint of understanding. Not that Korbin sought it, but hearing the same words from her as others also had spoken did nothing but anger him. It tasted of 'pull yourself together' as if that was the easiest thing in the world.

"Have you ever actually lost control over anything?" he said bitterly. "I doubt it... if you had, you wouldn't be saying that. Though I'm sure you would still be fine even if everything you cared for suddenly vanished. Too fucking bad not everyone is as strong as you."

Clearly he was no adult. Clearly grief reverted this particular young man into the child he should have been many years ago. Though it could be questioned if there were ever graceful ways of losing ones grip on reality, the lashing out was admittedly a less charming way to cope.

Especially since it only made him feel worse to hear himself talk like this. What was he doing? Picking a fight? Begging for attention? Either way it was pathetic.
Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone
Morgan Aristomache
the Glacier
Warden of Halo

Age: 42 | Height: 5' 9" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 6 - Strg: 23 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 14 - Int:
EUNIKE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,025 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#12

Morgan
Morgan had always been able to compartmentalise and put things aside, take issues out when they were able to be dealt with and see them then: she did not know how to advise Korbin on what had always been an innate skill of hers, especially not when it seemed his approach to grief was to attack and project on to others.

She just shrugged in response to his question, supposing that it did seem like she was stronger. "All I can say is that I am sorry for the death of your sister. Goodbye." Last words given she turned on her heel, ready to walk away unless he moved to pull her back into the conversation.

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,765
MP: 0
#13
Lonely shadows following me
Lonely ghosts come a-calling
She didn't rise to his bait. All Korbin got for his slander was a calm well-wishing, and it stung him more than a slap over the mouth. Tense and trembling he watched as she turned and walked away, at war with himself. Part raging, part writhing in shame, part crumbling and miserable and... lonely. It wasnt like he had sought Morgan out for her company, and when he had it he didn't want it, only to find that when it was withdrawn, he missed it.

That hollow feeling only grew with every step she took away, until Korbin couldn't stand it any more.

"Wait!"

He flinched at the sound of his own voice, how rough and harsh it sounded. "Please," he added quickly, more softly and took half a step after her. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Pride. What a bitter drink to swallow.
Thousand voices dead at my feet
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone
Morgan Aristomache
the Glacier
Warden of Halo

Age: 42 | Height: 5' 9" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 6 - Strg: 23 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 22 - Luck: 14 - Int:
EUNIKE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,025 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#14

Morgan
Morgan walked with a shake of her head and a sigh, wondering if this particular failed conversation was down to Korbin or herself; she knew she had never been gifted with comfort or really talking in general, but perhaps she could have handled it all better...she supposed there wasn't a way to know now. Trying to put it behind her, she thought to head to the room she had been staying in to try and work on something to take her mind off it.

At the sound of a 'wait!' she stopped and turned, surprised to see Korbin staring right at her: even more surprised to hear the apology.

Morgan, as harsh as she was, was not one to hold grudges unnecessarily. "...I understand. You are in pain." She told him flatly, not approving of the way he expressed his grief but understanding enough of how it felt. "You need to work through it."

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)


RPG-D