From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Maybe Zeph's laugh could have been taken as offensive if Sam didn't find the very idea ridiculous himself: he knew that no matter how many parties he attended he'd never be a wild child. He rolled his eyes fondly and stuck his tongue out. "Well y-you can be the Je-Jester."
He was surprised to see Zeph pause at the offer of swimming, having expected him to immediately want to take the chance. Sam took a couple of steps in the direction of the beach, thinking if Zeph really didn't want to, his house was on the way too. "...I know yo-you have to get und..undressed to swim." Fitting Zeph with an unimpressed stare, he unbuttoned his cuffs and pushed his sleeves up to his elbows, as if this somehow helped him make the point. "I used to sw..swim in the Oasis in th..the Grounds regu-regularly. Not fully cl-clothed."
we used to play outside when we were young & full of life & full of love
You follow Red obediently, as much from a protective desire as because you're curious to see him actually enter the ocean. His indignation only makes you shrug, raising your hands in mock submission. "'Aite, 'aite. Just makin' sure." Which, let's be honest, you're still not entirely convinced. Even less so when Sam proceeds to roll his sleeves up, rather than actually taking off any layers.
You quickly outpace him, leading the way through alleys and roads toward a quieter strip of the beach. Away from the bonfires and the rancorous crowds, to an area with few enough people that you figure he'll feel at least a little more comfortable. The sand is soft between your toes, more comforting than pavement or grass could ever be. And when you step onto it you turn around, now walking backwards and looking at your companion.
"So- really never been in the ocean, huh? Y'got any experience swimmin' in rougher water?" Do they even have rivers in the Grounds, or just small sad lakes? You're imagining the latter, based on what you've heard. "Couple'a safety things we should probably talk about, 'fore y'go divin' right in." The ocean can be dangerous, even for people who presumably can't drown.
"One time--" Sam realised two words into telling this story he wasn't sure if he really wanted to share it, but it was already too late so he committed to it. At least he trusted Zeph to laugh with and not at him. "I wa..was taking a sw-swi-swim in the Oasis, um, naked, and someone I kn..knew called Edrei came and she sa-saw everything." He groaned, clearly not having enjoyed being on display for the bold woman (thinking of that made him a little sad, actually: her flame had burnt so bright it had felt immortal, yet..). "The Oasis has ma..magical fish ca-called Dream fish. They c..can show you vis-visions. I was trying t-to find one."
He was rambling. Letting the thread dwindle off, he followed Zeph down to the quiet portion of beach, sitting on a rock to remove his shoes and socks so he could feel the sand on his own feet: there was a special joy in it, one that he had newly discovered when he'd come to Torchline.
"Um, no, not really." It wouldn't be fair to call the Oasis 'rough' and he'd always been a little nervous to delve into the sea alone. Smiling a little at Zeph's sudden dive into dad mode, he leaned back on the rock and nodded, indicating for Zeph to go ahead and give him the rules.
we used to play outside when we were young & full of life & full of love
"If I tried t'count all the times I've been spotted swimmin' naked we'd be here all night." Himself included. It's an attempt at sympathy for Sam's obvious embarrassment due to his scandal, and a terrible attempt to cover just how funny the story is. You can almost picture it, Sam attempting to cover his bits with a lily pad, his blue eyes filled with innocent alarm.
Sam is right: Dad Mode has certainly been activated, and as you stand before the younger man you voice takes on a timbre of gentle authority. "Alright- there's a couple'a important rules with the ocean. First one is look out for currents. Tryn'n check where ya are relative to the beach regularly. If y'ain't careful you'll wind up halfway down the coast without realizin'.
"Next, rip tides. Fuckers'll drag ya out to deep water faster'n ya can blink. If there's a strip'a calm water with waves on either side, don't be fooled. An' if you do get stuck in a rip, swim sideways outta it, don't try'n fight it back t'shore."
You draw a breath, looking back to Sam. "Any questions so far?"
"..Is it re-really spotted if you're not tr..trying to hide it?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow, thinking of the occasion when they had met, where Zeph had risen from the water like a beautiful naked nymph from a legend.
Listening to Zeph, Sam slowly unbuttoned his waistcoat, fingers moving automatically as he watched the more experienced man speak on how to swim in the ocean. He hadn't think there'd be so many things to consider and he did feel some latent anxiety fizzing inside his chest, suddenly wondering if he was going to die the second he stepped out into the surf...at least he wasn't going to drown.
"No, I un..understand, so f-ffffar." He nodded, shrugging the waistcoat off his shoulders and folding it neatly to lay on a rock. "Keep go-going."
we used to play outside when we were young & full of life & full of love
"Ain't my fault if people decide t'sit at th'end of a dock after I jumped off'a it." You tease back lightly, feigning indignation, arms over your chest. "What's a fella s'posed t'do, stay in the water an' shrivel up like a damn raisin?"
You don't not notice Sam undressing, but you don't comment on it, either. You're genuinely curious to see how many layers he's got on - more than you've ever worn in your life, that's for damn sure - and you're also miraculously tactful enough to figure that he's probably already quite self-conscious about stripping down at all.
So you continue with your lesson, nodding approval of his understanding. "Aite. Third rule, never turn yer back on th'ocean. You may think she's calm but she's a right fickle mistress. Sneaker wave can snatch ya by the ankles any time, or the wind can pick up. Always gotta show her the respect she deserves." You nod sagely at this last bit. It's serious, and important, and you want to make sure he understands.
"An' finally- have fun, an' never push yerself t'be too uncomfortable. If you don't wanna go out into deeper water, don't. If you don't feel safe, get back to shore. End'a the day swimmin' is for pleasure, an' should be a safe activity." This might be the most fatherly advice you have ever given. It also might be the most hypocritical.
"Wear sh-shorts." Sam replied, shaking his head and laughing, amazed that that idea apparently had not occurred to Zeph. Though he supposed he wasn't intending to wear them now, not wanting to get his clothes wet; carefully he began on the buttons of his shirt, a few buttons down revealing a white cotton vest underneath. This was the final layer on his top half.
It was hard not to look amused at the oddly mature voice Zeph seemed to be adopting for this lesson (was he aware he was doing it?), but Sam tried his best to keep a straight face, nodding when appropriate and taking the words to heart: he really didn't want to up up smashed against a rock, after all. He had heard the crashing of the sea on stormy nights and was suitably in awe of it's power. Though...
"...Aren't yo-you stood with your b..back to it right now?" He teased before he took a breath for bravery and pulled his vest off over his head, revealing a shockingly pale torso; covered in ginger hairs on the chest, down the middle and to the stomach, hinting lower, two slight bumps of breasts that were hardly noticeable and a swell of a not-quite flat stomach. "You d-don't need to worry about m..mm..me being too brave." Sam laughed, assuming Zeph would know that.
we used to play outside when we were young & full of life & full of love
Oh, you see that, Zeph? Cheeky fucker's got your number. "Oi, you givin' this lesson or me?" Rolling your eyes dramatically, you step forward - close enough to reach out and pat him on the head. "But that's very good, Red. We'll make a Torcher of ya yet." With a final ruffle of his flaming locks you step back into teacher-dad position, now with your body turned slightly so you can see him and the sea.
You don't mean to stare, but it's the first time you've actually seen him without long sleeves - let alone a shirt - and you can't help but be curious. The red curls are unlike anything you've ever seen, and the fucking white as bleached coral skin moreso. Luckily his self-depricating remark brings you back to the present. "Auwe, none'a that talk," you chide him with a stuck-out tongue, kicking a bit of sand playfully in his direction.
Turning away (why?) you, too, begin to strip off your layers. There are far fewer of them, and you're much less delicate about it, making light work of your button down and leaving it in a crumpled pile on the sand. When you get to your shorts you hesitate, thumbs stuck into your waistband, suddenly and uncharacteristicly self conscious.
Then you shrug at your own foolishness, shoving your pants onto the sand and leaving only your boxers. You throw a look back to Sam - "Ready?" - and, without waiting for answer, sprint you way towards the waiting water, dipping down as soon as it's waist deep to submerge your greying head.
"I'm ju-" Sam stopped talking as Zeph came to ruffle his hair, wrinkling up his nose and batting the hand away. When he looked up from neatening it back out he noticed that Zeph was staring at him, just a little: that was both exciting and embarrassing and he suddenly decided to be very interested in a nearby rock until the man looked away. He hoped that Zeph didn't find his body weird or off-putting: as much as he'd been practising self-acceptance, years of inhabiting one made to be perfect made him nervous about this one, with it's soft parts and obviously female origins. "I'm jok-joking." He assured Zeph about his remark, mostly meaning it.
Politely looking away from Zeph as he began to strip too, Sam undid his belt and took off his pants, revealing a plain white pair of tight boxers: he had not been planning on swimming today; he hoped they wouldn't end up too see through. Like the rest of his clothes, his pants were folded and neatly placed down on the rock, Sam pressing down the creases to make it even straighter.
Zeph rushed down to the sea with all the confidence and familiarity of someone that had done it a million times: Sam was less sure, making his way to the surf slowly then beginning to walk in, an inch at a time. "It's...da-dark, in the water, isn't it?" He said out to the area where he suspected Zeph might be, then waded in to his waist, arms still held above the surface.
we used to play outside when we were young & full of life & full of love
There's something deeply comforting about being in the water. Like a lover's embrace you sink into it, letting the brine wash over your skin, drench your hair and sting your eyes. You stay under for half a minute, adjusting to the cold, pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist. You could float away and never come back, just like Ella had-
Oi. Stop that shit, Zeph.
Back up to the surface and there's Sam, half in and half out and looking adorably out of place. Your eyes dart over his chest again - he really isn't half-bad, naked - before turning brightly to his face. "A bit," you agree, rather nonchalant. You're crouching so only your head is visible above the waters surface, and you look like a ratherc omic buoy.
Swimming up alongside Sam, you flop onto your back. "You gonna join me in here or keep dancin' around like a bird, Red? Ya might be as white as a Hel, but even you can t walk on water."
Sam couldn't help but giggle at the sight of Zeph's head poking up from the water, as if he was some kind of weird frog that had appeared to give mystical advice. It was comforting that he didn't seem that concerned about the darkness of the water; figuring that meant it probably wasn't hiding the tentacles of some horrible sea monster, Sam took some bolder steps forward.
"I'm ta-taking my time." He insisted, though he knew Zeph was right: he had to take the plunge at some point. With a completely unnecessary deep breath, Sam bent his knees and shot under the water, opening his eyes there to see a lot of nothing: dark green void to go with the rushing in his ears.
Shooting back up he posed with his arms up like a 'ta dah!', a smile on his face. "Is it c-cold? I feel like i..it's good I can't fe...fffeel it." Taking Zeph's lead he kicked up his feet to lay on his back - while he wobbled for a moment, he did eventually get there, but he had to reach out to grab Zeph's wrist for support as he tried to balance, not quite having the instinct to spread himself out as wide as possible.
we used to play outside when we were young & full of life & full of love
There's a swell of pride when he drops beneath the water, a feeling of accomplishment at having helped him get to this newest point. It's been a night of adventure for Sam, and you'd be lying if you said it didn't warm your heart a bit. From the timid man who could barely stand to look you in the eyes to a fucking party animal in so little time.
It makes you wonder what more he can be, with just a bit of sunlight and freedom. It makes you want to find out.
You chuckle when he grabs your wrist, flipping back onto your feet and moving your hands beneath him. Not quite touching, but there to grab on if he starts to sink - a support, a guard, eager for him to float alone but ready to catch him if he needs. "Cold as it gets," you answer softly, smiling crookedly down at him. "Try'n spread out. Breathe in. Relax. Then close yer eyes an' let the water hold ya. I'll be right here."
Thankfully, Sam grabbing Zeph's wrist didn't pull him down too; in fact Zeph seemed totally fine with it, standing to help instead of chiding him. This simple moment, the willingness to help rather than tell off - perhaps Zeph would forget it in the next week, but Sam had to stop his eyes from welling up. That battle was almost lost at 'I'll be right here'.
"Okay, um.." Obediently taking a breath in even though it was unlikely to do much, Sam closed his eyes and slowly spread out his limbs, stretching out his fingers and making sure everything was rested out over the water: eventually, he opened his eyes, realising he was floating now evenly; seeing Zeph still there, a grin spread across his face.
"..Oh, I-I'm doing it." He laughed, finding that laying on his back with the gentle lapping of the waves and the dark sky above was oddly peaceful, especially with Zeph there with him. "Thank you. Y...you're a good te-teacher, you know. You ex-explain things without be...being patronising. I bet..." Sam paused, wondering if this was appropriate to say, but eventually decided to do it. "...My fa-father was always so cr..cruel and ne-ever had any patienc...patience for not being ama..amazing right away. I bet Ra-Ray felt luck..lucky to have a dad like you."
we used to play outside when we were young & full of life & full of love
"You are. Yer doin' it." There's warmth in your eyes and in your voice as you look down at his floating figure, a chuckle only partially buried beneath the sound of the sea. The excitement of his eyes, the grin on his face- it's enough to make even your battered old soul feel warm and light, pleased with the night. "Welcome to the ocean, Red."
Snorting off his compliment about being a good teacher, you shrug your shoulders easily before dropping back onto your knees. "'s easy when y'got a good student," you tease back lightly, splashing water onto his stomach. But the lightness fades when Sam goes on, your smile faltering down to something serious, bittersweet. You falter at the reminder of the upbringing that the young man endured.
The reminder of the upbringing your son will never have.
"Yer father was a cunt, Red." There's a wry almost-smile on your face that totally lacks any humor. You've turned your gaze back to the shoreline, distant firelight catching in your eyes. When you speak again, your voice is soft. "Dunno... sometimes I think maybe it's better. That he never had t'deal with the shit of the world. That I never had a chance t'fail him." Your breath catches: you know you shouldn't think or say it, and you know you'd give anything to bring your son back.
But when you think of the pain that people go through, good people, people like Sam... well. Devastating as the loss of Ray was, at least you know he's safe from hardship. That he will never live to see the people who should hold him up highest inevitably let him down.
