Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

Samuel

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

Sam knew he was being somewhat weird. After disappearing for longer than two nights he had suddenly reappeared in Zeph's home able to stand in the sunlight and speaking wholly again, asked for the man to help him move, assured him he could ask questions on the way. For the moment he just wanted to be moving, to make the journey to get his things, to solidify his fate in stone so he could move onto the next portion of his life.

He seemed to relax as they passed through the portal to the Hollowed Grounds, though it was in the back of his mind that there would be Ascended here potentially looking to put his head on a spike: that was why he'd set off in the late evening and by the time they were in the Grounds, the moon was in the sky. Unfortunate for Zeph, but...he hoped the other man would understand, when it came time to explain.

Which, as they walked down a quiet country road, he supposed it might be. "So...I am sure that you have questions." He began, looking over with his hands clasped before him.

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

ZEPHYR

No promise sweeter than a blood pact
Nothing harder to go through with
than a vanishing act

Yeah, you're quiet as you walk along beside Samuel, but it's not entirely due to respect of his request that you wait. This is your first time outside Torchline, your first time going through a portal.

Turns out, you hate it.

The weird transition between worlds leaves your stomach rolling, and the weird smells and weird trees and overall weirdness of this bleak, grey, cold (you were not prepared for the cold) place keep you very much subdued. Even your work boots are not equipped to deal with the lingering snow, and you can feel the chill biting at your old bones.

If only you weren't so nauseous, you'd be all about your first time seeing snow.

You look up when Sam asks if you have questions, still a little green around the gills. Yeah, you fuckin' do, but talking seems somewhat risky as it involves opening your mouth. "Hm. Why don't'cha just tell me," you suggest grumpily, fairly certain he can deduce what your questions will be.

Chief among them: what the fuck is going on, my dude?

Though you repent and don sackcloth
and try to make nice
You can’t cross the same river twice

Samuel

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

Sam was so used to traversing the portals between regions (and had no nauseous reflex) that he hadn't even considered Zeph might find the experience disconcerting. Had they been doing anything else he might have realised this was the man's first time in the Hollowed Grounds, but the potential threat of his death at the hands of the other Ascended or loyal subjects to the lost Queen kept him from considering it too much.

It was clear that Zeph was grumpy from the tone of his voice and Sam sighed, supposing he probably deserved it. "...Well, why don't we take a break? And I'll...start explaining." He gestured to a flat-topped stone wall, big enough for them both to sit and look over the fields and not too covered in snow: for Zeph's sake ( a wet bum for an Ascended was practically meaningless) he took off his coat and laid it over to make a better surface for sitting on.

"Um..well..." Once they were settled, Sam supposed there was nothing to do besides just come out with it. "This is going to sound ridiculous, but I mean it. When you were gone at the Fingers, I received a message from another Ascended...a message that said a decision I had made here, um, something I had helped to put in place..." He looked off, took a breath: Sam knew he was trying to stall having to actually say it, but who wouldn't? "Killed someone. Two people, actually. One of them was the Queen..Rexanna. She was...my friend." His voice quiet and unsure, he stared down at the ground, blinking back tears and waiting for Zeph's judgement on that before he moved on.

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

ZEPHYR

No promise sweeter than a blood pact
Nothing harder to go through with
than a vanishing act

You're more grateful for the break than your face lets on, though after careful examination of the snowy rail your gratitude wanes somewhat. At least Sam has the decency to spread his coat out for you, and you settle onto it without much protest, hands shoved in your jacket pockets, scarf pulled around your mouth.

You've had enough experience with people vanishing off the face of the earth for days at a time (and enough with Sam and his general sweetness and tendency to overreact) that you figure whatever his story is, it won't phase you too much. A not-drunken bender culminating in a hook up with his ex, or an ill-advised vacation on the Kuali'i isles ending with him stranded while he waited for them to return to shore. Maybe he'd just gotten tired of your snoring and didn't have the heart to tell you himself.

Basically, anything other than oh hey Zeph, I accidentally killed a queen.

"...What."

There's stark incredulity in your face and voice, and maybe a little bit of laughter because fuck, there's no way, right? This is some sort of insane joke, and ha ha Red, very good. Except that Sam's voice is earnest and shaky, and when you look back at him you realize he isn't meeting your eyes. So this time when you say it again the humor is gone, replaced by bewilderment because seriously- "Red... what?"

Though you repent and don sackcloth
and try to make nice
You can’t cross the same river twice

Samuel

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

Sam supposed that Zeph's reaction was fair enough, all things considered: if he had been told the story he'd just said, he probably would not have understood either. With an awkward, unhappy laugh he tried to begin again, wondering how to put it all together for someone with no knowledge of the long and complicated history and politics of the Hollowed Grounds, which this whole situation was mired in.

"...So..um...before Longnight, Deimos, the General here and my brother-in-law, he asked for my help." He looked up into Zeph's eyes now, trying to make sure that he listened and understood as the story was broken down. "He wanted me to give some fluid and my fingers--" Sam held up his gloved hand. "--To make a door that would repel the monsters. Because um...well, the monsters are old Ascended, so...we thought it might work." He shrugged, wanting to cringe now at his own stupidity.

"I wanted to help. But the Voice told me it would end badly...I didn't believe her. Then um..while you were gone..." Sam lowered his head into his hands, speaking down to the ground, unable to handle the shame. "One of the Ascended, Wessex, can send messages to our minds; she told us that Rexanna and Clem had been killed because of the door that I helped to make. I guess...it didn't just hurt the monsters." He was glad he didn't know quite how it had happened: he wanted to believe it had been quick and painless.

Rubbing at his eyes that threatened to spill tears, he rambled through the end. "I always seem to mess up and hurt people when I make my own decisions and the Voice was right about this -- so I...I went to the shrine. And I asked her to take me back." Finally he was able to glance up to Zeph again, curious if this would matter to him or not.

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

ZEPHYR

No promise sweeter than a blood pact
Nothing harder to go through with
than a vanishing act

You listen intently to the story as he lays it out, but honestly the whole damn thing sounds like something out of a pulp fiction book. Fingers and blood to make a door to stop monsters from getting in but the monsters are his ancestors? or something?

And that's barely even the beginning. The whole time you're waiting for him to break character and start laughing, because this has to be some sort of elaborate joke, right? Wessex is a name you remember from the night he announced he'd left the Voice, though he hadn't mentioned that she could apparently talk into people's minds.

And then people died. People died from an attempt to do the right thing. And everything fucking clicks.

"Fuck, Red." You extract your hand from your coat pocket to run it through your hair, immediately regretting that choice as the cold bites into your fingers. What the hell are you supposed to say? Oops, sounds like a bad time, bro? "So... the Voice blames ya for it, an' this Wessex. Anyone else we gotta' keep an eye out for while we're here?"

Though you repent and don sackcloth
and try to make nice
You can’t cross the same river twice

Samuel

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

It seemed this time that Zeph understood; Sam was glad to hear that he apparently had grasped the seriousness of the situation, even if it did sound pretty bizarre (what about his life from the last 2 years hadn't been?).

"The Voice won't hurt me-" He was pretty sure of that, anyway. "--Not now that I've gone back to her. Other than Wessex...well, Nate already punched me in Haulani." Sam laughed down at the ground, but it wasn't particularly mirthful. He supposed it was good he didn't have pain, but there was still plenty of shame and shock in being punched in the jaw so hard it sent you to the ground.

Looking across at Zeph, he bit his lip. "...Do you...think I'm...a good person, still? And are you mad at me for going back to the Voice?" Maybe he was getting too much in his own head, but he knew Zeph didn't like the Gods; maybe his independence from The Voice had been what had made them closer. Awaiting an answer nervously, he rocked back and forth a little on his perch.

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

ZEPHYR

No promise sweeter than a blood pact
Nothing harder to go through with
than a vanishing act

Okay, well, at least you don't have to worry about the Voice. That Nate punched him has you reacting more strongly than anything else so far, your jaw setting as stormclouds settle over your face. Finally, something tangible to direct your anger at. Finally, someone who can carry all your confusion and wrath.

What a fucking champ you are, Nate Wren. A blessing, really, in Zephyr's life.

"Fucker," you growl, shaking your head. "You okay? Do I need't..." You trail off expressively, lifting your brows toward Sam. Fuck him up? Leave him in a cave again? Slug him in return? You might have followed this road to its violent conclusion, but then Sam asks you a heartbreaking question and your face softens at once.

"Am I...?" You can't help it: you laugh incredulously, reaching for his shoulder, pulling him to face you. "Why would I...? Hell, Red, I saw ya after ya left her. I don' like that ya gotta go back t'that, but if it's between that an' dyin'- 'Course I ain't mad."

Though you repent and don sackcloth
and try to make nice
You can’t cross the same river twice

Samuel

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

There was something very gratifying indeed in Zeph's reaction to finding out Nate had hit him; Sam had not even really expected it to be that noticeable in the midst of the rest of the story, especially as Nate certainly had violent tendencies as a hobby. "Oh...um, well, I don't feel pain anymore, so it wasn't too bad, though I'm not sure he knew that." Meaning Nate probably wanted him to feel it - he wouldn't be surprised.

"Do you...have history with Nate?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. The muttering of fucker had seemed a little too intense for a casual dislike. As far as he knew, Zeph and Nate had never even met.

Zeph tugged on his shoulder and he willing turned to look at him. This time the reaction was again gratifying, but in a very different way; Sam was used to every choice leading to him being rejected, to people valuing their own ideologies over his safety. Zeph's selflessness, his kindness...without thinking much about it, Sam leaned in to hug the other man tight, his face buried in against his shoulder. "Thank you. I was so worried you'd think I was weak or that you'd hate me now. I'm so used to that."

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

ZEPHYR

No promise sweeter than a blood pact
Nothing harder to go through with
than a vanishing act

Do you have history with Nate? Not directly, but his crew has now gone up against yours and yeah, there's a proper turf war brewing that Sam doesn't have to hear about right now. He's got enough shit going on. "'nuff t'know he likes t'punch people in th'face, an'is probably due his own turn," you answer darkly, looking at a patch of snow as though it were the pale Ascended and you couldn't wait to smash it in.

Your eyes grow wide at the unexpected hug, body stiffening for a moment before you relax into his embrace, wrapping your own strong arms around the smaller man. "S'okay, Red. S'okay."

You let him stay as long as he needs tucked in your embrace, but your mind is somewhere else, already trying to put together pieces of the future. Only when he lets you go will you look down in concern, scarred brows furrowed in thoughtful concern. "Red- is it safe for ya t'be here?" The last thing you need is to be jumped in a foreign land, without any hope of backup and with someone to protect.

Though you repent and don sackcloth
and try to make nice
You can’t cross the same river twice

Samuel

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

It definitely sounded like something he didn't know about had happened with Nate, but if Zeph didn't want to tell him he wouldn't press...either way, it wasn't anything he disagreed with. As much as Sam was not one to call for violence, he had to admit he wouldn't mind seeing Nate get something in return. "..Mmm. He's with Sunjata though, and that probably makes it harder." Or at least, it did if you were bothered about staying on the right side of the law (which Sam absolutely was).

Not only did Zeph accept him back from the Voice welcomingly, he returned the hug and comforted him: had there always been friends like this somewhere in the world just waiting for him? Or had he been doing something wrong up until this point? Detangling himself from the man with a sigh a moment later he considered the question.

Feeling very odd indeed about having to consider his own home land somewhere dangerous, he tilted his head from side to side. "...I don't know. I need to get some things from my house, then I was...hoping to go to Torchline and not return, at least not for a while." Standing up off the wall, he looked down the road. "I think...it should be okay, just for that, but maybe I shouldn't stay. If Wessex found out I was here...or..Bastien, Rexanna's husband..." Sam fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt, clearly uncomfortable with his guilt. "We should head to Sanctuary."

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

ZEPHYR

No promise sweeter than a blood pact
Nothing harder to go through with
than a vanishing act

You can't help it: you snort at the mention of Sunjata, as though the 'Biter scares you even a little (which he really should, he's twice your level and has a million shifts). "He could use one, too." You clench and release your fists in your pockets, jaw clenched as you consider these two men and their effects on your home.

The hug ends when Sam is ready, your arms returning to your sides, hands shoved into pockets for warmth. So he wants to stay in Torchline- that's good. You can keep an eye on him there. Nodding somewhat absently you rise up to your feet. It sounds like there's a number of threats here, and he's right: better to get his stuff and get out, before they have a chance to manifest.

Falling into step beside the Ascended you let him lead you down the damp, cold road. "Gonna miss it?" you wonder, half-sarcastic, gesturing to the endless dead fields as though they might miraculously become beautiful. Maybe later in the season you would have been impressed by all the new growth, but right now you're more impressed that so much empty space can hold so little. Jerking your thumb back the way you came, you wonder: "What's th'deal with the big black cock, anyway?"

Though you repent and don sackcloth
and try to make nice
You can’t cross the same river twice

Samuel

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?

Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms

Sam had to admit he was curious to know what the apparent drama between Sunjata, Nate and Zeph was: the last time he'd mentioned Nate's name, Zeph hadn't even known who he was. Still, he didn't want to intrude too much...and from what details he did know of Zeph's occupation, he wondered if he'd like what he heard. "Mmm...be careful." He said in the end, hoping Zeph realised that Sunjata and Nate could likely beat him between them.

They settled back into walking and Sam was relieved to see that in the distance, when he squinted, he could see the beginnings of rooftops: not that long to go. Of course, there was quite the job when he actually reached his home, but the sooner they got there the sooner they could leave. He was looking out over the same empty landscape as Zeph, thinking about how oddly drab it looked now, when he was asked if he'd miss it. "...I don't know. I think it's less that I'll miss it and more that it was all I knew for so long, so it feels safe. But I've had a lot of bad times here and...well. Torchline is certainly more beautiful."

The sombre mood that came over him was of course completely smashed when Zeph referred to 'the big black cock', something that had Sam looking behind him somewhat worried what he was about to see: finally realising Zeph meant the Spire he began to laugh, hand over his mouth for a moment as he tried to control it. "It's...I've never heard it called that. Ahem. That's the Spire; The Voice...or...The Core? Used to be kept in it by the Old Gods. We freed her, though. I was actually one of the people there, though I left before we saw the escape."

The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

ZEPHYR

No promise sweeter than a blood pact
Nothing harder to go through with
than a vanishing act

"That it is," you agree, thinking that this cold drab place holds little by way of candle in comparison to your home. "An' hey, now ya can enjoy it proper without fear'a burnin' up." That has to be worth something, all things considered, especially given how difficult the last season had been. As much as it may grind your gears to know he's beholden to a god for his life and functionality, well... at the end of the day you kind of all are. His god is just more upfront about it, and honestly, you respect that.

Sam's laugh has your eyes crinkling in amusement, shoulders rising and falling in a boyish shrug. "'s what it looks like." A sad, somewhat precarious dick, but a big black dick nonetheless. Which makes it all the more amusing to you when you learn that it used to house a god; figures, given how they all think their cocks are made of gold and their shit don't stink. "Kept her in there 'cus'a all the shit she pulled way back when?" Oh yeah, you paid enough attention in school to know there was a war and some other drama. World got fucked, but your corner is doing great.

Here? Not so much.

What you don't know is how she did manage to escape, and why people are so keen on hitching their horse to her (or any god's, really) wagon. "Fuck's a Core? An' why'd people wanna get 'er out so bad? What's the appeal, anyway?" As accusatory as the questions may seem, you genuinely are curious. What led Sam - and so many others - to give up their humanity in favor of the gods? It's the same question you have for Attuned, really, but at least you grew up among those and kinda sorta get it. Ascended are still a whole new game as far as you're concerned, and one you really just do not understand.

Though you repent and don sackcloth
and try to make nice
You can’t cross the same river twice