BASTIEN
Eventually, it seemed like everyone who was likely to come had arrived. Several regular patrons of the Sanctuary arrived, as well as those who wanted to pay respects to the Queen. Bastien knew that some members of the town, no matter how loyal they may have been to the leadership (and given that it was a relatively new thing, not very), would not respect Rexanna nor her death due to her being Ascended. Those that did come he greeted with a sad smile, but didn't have the energy for many words; he had to save those.
When the time came, he walked up to the podium, gripped it on either side with trembling fingers; he found he was surprised by his own fear, not an emotion he was accustomed to. Yet stood there, looking out on the expectant faces wanting to see a husband gripped with the appropriate level of eloquent grief...it felt like he was before a jury.
"Thank you all for coming here today to honour Rexanna." He began, not meeting anyone's eyes. "When she first came here, she...she had come from a place where her life had been very difficult indeed, yet she still persevered; that determination and strength continued in Caido..." Bastien took a breath to steady himself that alarmingly turned into a half-sob; hoping no one had noticed he tried to refocus and continue. "..She was always wanting to help and save; any of her friends could attest to her great loyalty and bravery."
He hadn't written notes, up until this point depending on his usual natural charisma on carrying the speech, but now he wished he had a guide; he worried all at once about being too impersonal, too revealing, about doing this damn thing in the first place-- "I...I love her. I always will. Rexanna is the love of my life; no one else quite understood my world view and life like she did and she amplified everything in the world, made it all golden, special..she- she--" Another pause, another sinking feeling in his chest.
"I don't know what I'm going to do, really. With Azrael, and everything, without her." He laughed, but it sounded more hysterical than self-deprecating as intended. "She was the anchor for our family here and without her.." He looked up, shook his head and seemed to be staring at some far off point on the back wall, eyes glassy. "Without her, I wonder if there is much...much point..." Suddenly, as if he had been punched, sobs beat into him and escaped through his mouth; Bastien tried to stop, to control himself, but it was too late: his tears had had a chance to fall and now he was lost, letting go of the podium and falling to crouch as if trying to hide, loud and painful cries leaving him.
Between the choking wails he attempted to apologise, the showman in him wanting to save it, but he couldn't: he was unable to even move, stuck before everyone showing his bleeding heart until someone would come to help.
When the time came, he walked up to the podium, gripped it on either side with trembling fingers; he found he was surprised by his own fear, not an emotion he was accustomed to. Yet stood there, looking out on the expectant faces wanting to see a husband gripped with the appropriate level of eloquent grief...it felt like he was before a jury.
"Thank you all for coming here today to honour Rexanna." He began, not meeting anyone's eyes. "When she first came here, she...she had come from a place where her life had been very difficult indeed, yet she still persevered; that determination and strength continued in Caido..." Bastien took a breath to steady himself that alarmingly turned into a half-sob; hoping no one had noticed he tried to refocus and continue. "..She was always wanting to help and save; any of her friends could attest to her great loyalty and bravery."
He hadn't written notes, up until this point depending on his usual natural charisma on carrying the speech, but now he wished he had a guide; he worried all at once about being too impersonal, too revealing, about doing this damn thing in the first place-- "I...I love her. I always will. Rexanna is the love of my life; no one else quite understood my world view and life like she did and she amplified everything in the world, made it all golden, special..she- she--" Another pause, another sinking feeling in his chest.
"I don't know what I'm going to do, really. With Azrael, and everything, without her." He laughed, but it sounded more hysterical than self-deprecating as intended. "She was the anchor for our family here and without her.." He looked up, shook his head and seemed to be staring at some far off point on the back wall, eyes glassy. "Without her, I wonder if there is much...much point..." Suddenly, as if he had been punched, sobs beat into him and escaped through his mouth; Bastien tried to stop, to control himself, but it was too late: his tears had had a chance to fall and now he was lost, letting go of the podium and falling to crouch as if trying to hide, loud and painful cries leaving him.
Between the choking wails he attempted to apologise, the showman in him wanting to save it, but he couldn't: he was unable to even move, stuck before everyone showing his bleeding heart until someone would come to help.
Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
A generation lost in space
