things i wish i didn’t know

BASTIEN

Ronin certainly wasn't looking tip-top either, though Bastien hardly noticed; he'd not even paid attention to the layout of his studio this morning or the colour harmony of the rooms, something he usually was consistently aware of. He was so lost in his grief he'd paired maroon with olive green in the bedroom when clearing out some of Rexanna's things (to go in a box - he couldn't handle looking at them, but would not throw them away either).

He practically melted into the hug, appreciating any physical comfort anyone wanted to give him; Bastien struggled not to burst into tears anew on Ronin's shoulder, but somehow he resisted, fingers gripping hard onto his shoulders. "...Thank you. I do wish I could." The numbness of dreams was incredibly appealing at the moment, as was the call of alcohol; the constant glass of wine in his hand was a wish to go back to a time where it could do anything.

Finally he detached himself from Ronin and stood back, motioning into the dim studio. "Do you have time to come sit for a while...? I fear I am driving myself insane with my own company; I am sure you are busy though, so I would understand..." He trailed off, giving Ronin an out.

You standing beside me
I'm going to push back, push back, push back
With every word and every breath