giving me a million reasons

make peace with your broken pieces

She's brought a basket of food, of course; even on her honeymoon Amalia has found work, baking in the kitchen at the inn, trading her goods for wares. A peace offering, a memory: honey cakes, once a favorite of a girl with stars in her eyes. Kneeling down at the small grave, Amalia sets one of the treats out, a wistful smile on her face. "I miss you, little starchild. Your daddies miss you, too." Both of them torn apart in ways she cannot fathom, and one of them seemingly beyond the point of repair.

She figures if she waits long enough he's sure to show up.

Ronin had told her she was welcome, but the Shield still finds it somewhat difficult to believe. Her last time seeing Remi had been anything but civil, bloodstained and beaten as they all were. Now as she stands upon the bluffs and watches the impending storm, Amalia cannot help but wonder what else brews upon a far horizon, waiting for a stiff wind to blow it into their lives.

Hopefully not today.

shield of safrin

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

If Amalia looks closely, she'll see Remi's work everywhere. Rocks transformed into vague shapes of horses and cats. Small pebbles near Aoife's grave in the shape of delicate stars. She isn't there, Remi reminds himself often as he sits and speaks to the empty grave, and while he still doesn't entirely understand the lesson taught to him by Ludo and Ronin, he tries.

"Nearly a year." Not covered in blood this time, to say Remi looks markedly better than when last they met would be a strange way to describe him. He looks...hollow. Healthy and fit, but entirely empty in hard to specify ways. A lack of laugh lines, a darkness in otherwise pale eyes.

"Vai says anniversaries are important." He mumbles, perhaps still trying to convince himself the truth in the witch's words. "I guess there's some truth to it, because it does feel harder the closer it gets, even though every day I tell myself I can't possibly miss her any more than I do."

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

make peace with your broken pieces

She was right; he does arrive. Or some facsimile of him, at least, the empty shell that houses what remains of her once-friend. Amalia turns to the sound of his voice, her dark eyes scanning for lingering wounds, a breath of relief when she comes up short. Nothing external, at least. She knows well that the greatest wounds are those beneath the skin.

"Nearly a year," Amalia agrees. Turning back to the well-loved grave, she lets his voice wash over her, an ache in her heart for the boyish joy she'd always seen in his eyes. She'd asked him once how he stayed so bright in the presence of so much dark. In those days she'd thought him indestructible, unquenchable.

How very wrong she'd been.

"Loss is a wound that never heals." Kneeling down, Amalia takes a star-shaped stone into her hand, turning it over with a small, sad smile. "Some days it hurts less. Some days you can almost forget it. And some days... some days it opens up again, and it's the worst feeling in the world." Adam. Aoife. Peter. Her mother, grandmother. A boy who died in her arms.

shield of safrin

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

Part of him wants to lash out at her; where is your daughter, dead in your arms? But he doesn't. It isn't fair. If anything, Remi is the hypocrite here. Aoife wasn't even yours, not really, insidious voices like to remind him on days like this.

Stepping closer and looming like an unfinished statue on the rocks, Remi just bites the inside of his lip as he looks down at the grave. "At least she has Vanya now." The man Remi once was would actually have been comforted by that, such was his selflessness. This husk however merely feels jealous and volatile with no outlet in sight.

"I heard you were here on your honeymoon." He mumbles, because he owes her small talk, if nothing else. "You picked quite the time for it." Thunder purrs out over the sea where no doubt storms are already raging.

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

make peace with your broken pieces

There's a bite to his voice that she flinches against, another reminder that the man she used to know is gone. Bowing her head the Shield nods, returning the rock to its place. She has Vanya, and they are left without. Waiting, hurting, biding their time until they see their loved ones again.

She feels uncomfortable with him looming above her, and so she rises up, trying to combat his stony nature with an offering of... what? Quiet, she supposes, as he does not seem to want affection. Friendship, whether he accepts it or not. "Is there ever a good time, for us?" Rubbing her wrist the Shield looks over the grey and wild sea, dark eyes searching for something on the horizon that simply isn't there. "I kind of like the rain. We don't get storms like this, back home."

shield of safrin

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

That, he does smirk at, even if it goes against the stormy facade he seems to be intentionally cultivating. "That's certainly true. Ronin and I haven't had one still. I doubt we will at this point." Remi doesn't sound like he minds it, or if he does, he's just accepted it as the outcome of choices made long in the past.

"I don't mind it either." He agrees, sea-shattered eyes searching for the invisible horizon somewhere out in the grey. "We've still a few more weeks to shore things up, but...well." Shrugging and wrapping an arm around the other, the Alchemist exhales. "Torchline has survived these storms every year. I'm sure she will again." Even if we won't

"Did you hear about the ascended-parts, sent to all of us?"

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

make peace with your broken pieces

"I wouldn't have cared to have one, except... well. We both needed a break." She runs her hands through her windblown hair, trying desperately and futilely to quell the mess. There's a dark tan on her wind-chapped cheeks despite the oppressive grey, more color than she's ever been able to boast within the Grounds. She feels awake here, and alive. She can see why he loves it so much.

She doesn't look back at him until he mentions the boxes, biting hard on her lip. "I heard. I'm sure Wessex is furious." Amalia heard about the death; the rumors have circulated like wildfire both in the Grounds and here. But where many seem in the dark about the source of it, well...

"I think I know who did it. I... I think I may have encouraged them to."

shield of safrin

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

Remi turned, unable to help the surprise that spread across his face. After the-him who once was, Amalia and Ronin were tied for always being counted on to do the right thing. There was no judgement mixed in with the surprise however, just a broken sort of understanding that came with the assumption that Amalia hadn't intended this to be the outcome.

"I guess I'm not the only one making questionable decisions these days." He said with a faint smile. Now it was Remi's turn to let her tower, sitting down on one of the stones and giving her his full attention that she might continue with whatever it was which had led to the death of a man called Robin.

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

make peace with your broken pieces

Grimacing slightly at his surprised expression, Amalia turns back to face the storm. She has her own thoughts on her conversation with Nephele, the things she promised and the things she said. Accused and held accountable; even now she has no idea if it was a mistake. "Another of Ludo's disciples came to me. I... don't know why this keeps happening." Shaking her head with a low, dry chuckle, the Shield crosses her arms. "This time, though... I said I wouldn't stop them. I don't know if that was right."

Though what Remi says next does give her some pause; glancing curiously down at the Alchemist, Amalia raises a brow. "Unless I'm wrong, and it was you." The thought had occurred to her, but in truth the Shield expected Remi to tell her if he'd been so tasked by Ludo. That, and to go hunting for larger fish.

shield of safrin

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

"I wonder if we're drawn to you." Remi muses with a low chuckle. "Perhaps you are a hybrid after all, just with a really shitty magical ability." Considering what came next, the Alchemist frowns darkly, turning his gaze down to his hands where he's produced a feather. Spinning it, he hums to himself before answering. "You can't stop everyone." He says simply, his accent making the words far more pleasing to hear than they ought to be.

Shaking his head, seemingly unbothered at this potential accusation, Remi looks up. "Not me, no. I asked Ludo what roll I am to play in all of this and its answer was...suitably vague. But no, I have no current orders to seek out ascended and kill them, nor incite a war with body parts in boxes."

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

make peace with your broken pieces

"A way to keep tabs on the murderers of Caido, at least." The shittiest superpower it may be, but at least this way she knows. Not that she's done anything useful with that knowledge.. but should things escalate, should they come more to a head, she can at least step in.

It seems he's picked up on her thoughts. Mouth drawn into a mirthless smile, Amalia merely shrugs. "I don't even know if I'm supposed to stop it anymore," she admits. "Before, with Roana, I was so certain, but now... now I really don't know."

Honestly, Amalia is genuinely surprised to learn that Ludo hasn't been tasked with its genocidal mission: if anyone were to be wielded so it seems only fitting that the god should choose the sharpest knife in its arsenal. Making no effort to hide her surprise, the Shield takes a seat beside the Alchemist and reaches into her bag. "Then what are you going to do about it?" she asks almost calmly, extracting a honey cake to offer to Remi, as though this were a simple picnic and not a discussion of morals and death.

shield of safrin

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

Once, so long ago, Remi killed a man with Ronin, for kidnapping Aoife. He hasn't thought about that man in...years, it seems. Now however the slow and emotionless smile that spreads across his lips is reminiscent of that memory; a sad smile for the man who had been so broken by that one act. If only he knew what he'd become. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Is that it?" Surrounding herself by monsters, even if not by choice, is sure to have an effect.

Just look at Remi, after all.

"I remember that certainty." Remi says with a nod. He'd been there, hands on Roana's throat, ready to kill her. Taking the offered honey cake, his mouth already watering just at the sight of it, the Alchemist takes a moment to regard the invisible horizon line with solemn eyes. "If I were as naive as I once was, I would think Ludo was just giving me the choice to opt out. But I can't help feeling like a toy. All wound up and then released, just to see what I might do with my apparent freedom." Grumpily, Remi takes a bite of the cake.

"So are you going to tell me who you think did it?"

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

make peace with your broken pieces

Placing a second cake to her own lips Amalia sits in silence, listening to the sound of the crashing sea, the unfamiliar timbre of his once-familiar voice. Thoughtfully she chews the sweet confection, one knee pulled up beneath her elbow. "And now?" she asks the not-naive man, "What will you do with the freedom, now that you know to fear it?"

Well. She certainly expected the question, even if she doesn't have an answer prepared. Swallowing down another bite of cake the Shield shrugs, glancing over at the Alchemist. "I don't know." Once she'd come to him readily with that information, but both of them are different now than who they had been then. "If I tell you, what will you do? Try to kill them, like you did to Roana? Tell Wessex so she can do the same? Help them, like Ludo might want you to?" Not accusing but frankly curious. Shaking her head Amalia turns back to the ocean, chin resting upon her knee.

"You say you don't care about the world anymore. So why care about this?"

shield of safrin

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

"Tread very carefully." He replies gravely, glancing side-long at her. What Ludo has said, what it expects, and what Remi ought to do seem like strings tangled into a messy braid (not unlike Amalia's hair). Perhaps had Aoife lived the Alchemist would be better at plaiting, but as it is, he's left holding onto the strings and trying not to make a noose for himself as he braids.

"I need to keep Torchline safe. Nate and Sam live here now. If there is a threat to them and you know who it is, I'd ask you to tell me." It isn't an answer really, and they both know it. "If more ascended die and you are the only one who knows who is doing it...will their fluid not be on your hands? At least if you tell me, we can share the blame of it." Whether that's actually a reason or not, Remi isn't entirely sure, though it certainly sounds like one.

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!