From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Gods, how are you supposed to tell her that you need her to leave and you need her to stay, that either way you're in danger of falling and you don't know which direction scares you more? Luckily she takes away the choice, settling in without a question and condemning you to something you never wanted, never wished for, and even as drunk as you are know you can't escape.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
She's leaning against you and you're leaning against her, your head as heavy as a stone as it falls her way to her shoulder. "No," you sigh, closing your eyes and inhaling her scent. She's so fucking real that it hurts, because Ray was real and El was real and ever since then everything has been memories etched in smoke.
You don't say anything for a good long while. When you finally speak again your voice is tired, slurred, like silt sliding over the ocean floor. "Heyyyy Vervy... d'ya wanna hear a secret?"
burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
”Okay. Let me know if that changes,” Vai murmurs, his head dropping hard onto her shoulder. She smiles a little, turning to drop a gentle kiss against his hair, her fingers still strumming careful patterns over the back of his hand. It feels like an eternity that they sit together, while the brilliant reds and golds fade to deep purples and blues, the sun slowly dying low beneath the horizon.
The Zeph speaks again, the witch opening her eyes and glancing down at him, arching an eyebrow. Vervy? They’ll have words about that one when he’s sober again. ”A secret? We’ve reached that stage of trust already, have we?” she asks, her voice low and sweet. ”Go ahead, I’m all ears.”
Trust? Nah, you don't trust her even a little, not with this. Not a commentary on the Witch- you don't trust much of anyone these days, not the way you used to. Trust her not to kick you when you're down, or not to steal your shit, or to give you a good time? Sure.
Trust her with your secrets? Pfffft. Nope.
And yet here you go. A part of you states that this is a terrible idea, but that piece is currently sinking down to your toes and you're floating up above the dock, looking down on your impending disaster and feeling blissfully detached. Reaching over to run a finger down Vervain's thigh, you hum a note as though considering whether or not to recant.
Eh. Fuck it. Whaddya got to lose?
(everything)
"Sekrit is that... I wish I never met you." There's something stark and bizarre about these objectively cruel words spoken in such a calm, almost dreamy tone. "That I hadn't gone out an' I hadn't sat by ya an' ya hadn't given me a drink an' we hadn't had great fuckin' sex. I wish none'a that had happn'd. That's th'sekrit." Your hand hasn't abandoned its almost affectionate caress of her thigh, still strangely in contrast with your words. Oh, Zephyr, you poor disaster. You're going to have so many regrets when tomorrow comes.
burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
The secret isn’t really his words, in the end; it’s more the sentiment behind them. That Zephyr is capable of being cruel for the sake of being cruel - that’s the real secret. Vai pauses, confused at first, until the meaning behind his slurred sentiments break through, and suddenly the caress against her thigh feels like a blade. ”More fool me for letting you,” she says curtly in response, picking up the half full bottle of whisky and throwing it in a wide arc into the churning sea below them.
”No to worry, though. It won’t be a mistake that I make again, and so you’ll have no more regrets after tonight. Not about me, anyway.” It’s strange, the way her hand stays in his, the way she doesn’t leave. If it weren’t for the guilt of a conscience, she probably would. ”Do us both a favour?” she asks. ”Shut up now until you’re sober.”
You really ought to take her advice and shut up. The violence against the whiskey was your first warning, your brown eyes tracking the arc through the air. "Hey," you protest weakly, already mourning its absence even though you've easily drunk enough by this point to drown a small child.
Certainly enough to drown your own common sense, and any chance you had at salvaging this mess.
Knitting your brows together in puzzlement you shake your head. "'Grets? I don'... I don' got 'grets. Nottabout you." Absolutely not heeding her warning to shut your stupid mouth, you straighten up as well as you can and fix her with a bemused look. "I'm scared'a you. You scare me. Yer like- fuck, Vai, yer like th' sun. Hot as fuck an' bright an' gorgeous an' you make me feel all stupid an' warm an' I'm pretty sure I'm gonna burn up if I stay too close, or that, that yer gonna disappear."
Running a hand through your hair you pull away from her fully, suddenly very self-aware of your own inebriated state. "What I mean is- fuck. I dunno what I mean. Yer right. I oughta shut up." Little bit late on the uptake there, moron, but better late than never.
burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
But fuck if the drunk bastard can’t salvage a situation. Vai is seething quietly beside Zeph, not expecting him to heed her words but still feeling her jaw feather when he speaks. Only it’s not a continuation of the slurred mistakes and wishes of things he’d never done with her - it’s an explanation, if only she’d considered asking why.
Glaring down into the sea, her blue eyes soften bit by bit, shoulders relaxing, and as he pulls away she inhales deeply, glancing across at him. ”You scare me too,” she admits. ”You’re... grounded. I’ve never had that.” It’s an unfamiliar feeling, to be around someone who is sure of their place in the world. It’s nice enough to be afraid of it turning out to be a lie.
”Nah. I was wrong - you should keep talking. They say it’s good to get shit off your chest.” She gives him a gentle nudge with her elbow, reaching up to tease her fingers through the back of his hair, her thumb grazing over a stubbled jaw. ”That shrine really fucked with you, huh.”
Great. So you're both scared shitless. At least you're not alone.
You still don't look at her again, because you're pretty sure doing that will blind you, or make you say something else stupid, or both. But you close your eyes as she places fingers in your hair, swaying leaning into the touch. You know that tomorrow is going to be full of regrets and stomach aches, so you cling to right now, to tonight, when you have the balls to tell her she scares you and she hasn't run away.
A low, hollow chuckle leaves your throat. "Yeah. Yeah, it did." Almost as if it was intentional, like some higher power thought you'd be great to fuck with. Something something playthings of cruel gods who write our stories to mess us up instead of letting us have nice things. But let's back away from that fourth wall.
"How d'ya do it, Vai? Keep livin' without 'em?" Of course she has Felix, and a daughter somewhere, and a husband somewhere else. But the loss- that doesn't change. Doesn't stop.
burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
A faint smirk tugs at the corners of Vai’s lips; her hand slips further about Zeph now, as if to gently guide him back against her, letting the present moments smooth away the jagged edges of the misunderstandings from a few minutes prior. ”I... find ways to live with myself, instead.” She furrows her brow, as if the thought has only just occurred to her by speaking with Zeph.
”There are a lot of others out there who don’t have parents. Blundering through life trying to put on the bravest face they can. I try to be there for them instead.” The Remis and Sunjatas of the world spring to mind. ”That way I don’t feel... wasted, I suppose.”
07-28-2020, 04:38 AM (This post was last modified: 07-28-2020, 04:39 AM by Zephyr.)
zephyr
You know better and yet there you go, leaning deeper into her touch, inhaling deeply of her scent. Addict that you are you turn in toward her, running a blunt nose up her chin and back behind her ear.
"Whaddabout what you need? The things'at you don' have?" The slurred murmur presses warmly on her neck, a handful of sweet yet sloppy kisses trailing to her jaw. Pulling away it's now your turn to cup her her delicate cheek in your rough palm, bringing her close so you can peer boyishly into the stormy eyes.
"You could never be wasted." There's whiskey on your breath and stubble on your face and your eyes are red and you're really very drunk. Not the perfect recipe for romance, but maybe the only combination that would permit you to get over yourself. "You're... You're exquisite. Taku kairangi. Can I kiss ya, Vervy?" Something you've done a hundred times by now, and yet there goes your heart like a gods-damned schoolboy's, dancing to the beat of a thousand awkward boners underneath the oppression of that dread beast, a crush.
burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
He’s so, so drunk, and Vai can’t keep the smirk from her face as he leans in, all clumsy kisses and warm sentiment. Her arm stays around him as a steadying presence, lest they both end up going for a tumble, but his questions do beg for answers. ”What about them?” she echoes, expression softening further especially as the hand comes up to capture her cheek, turning her face towards him. Vai rests her hand over Zeph’s, enjoying the touch more than she can say.
Whiskey sweet and unexpected given his inebriation, Vai bites back the quip she wants to say to deflect away from his words, cheeks flushing coral in the wake of the attention. ”What does that mean?” she asks, only half sure she wants the answer, before she’s smiling again. Can he kiss her? Way to make them both feel like teenagers. ”Only if you promise to kiss me again when you’re sober,” she says.
"You deserve 'em. All of 'em. You gotta be happy, too." A bold statement from someone who firmly believes he has no right to that same happiness, but mental health makes hypocrites of us all.
Your thumb runs lightly over her lower lip, calloused pad soothed by the delicate softness. Already you're aching for the taste of her, and yet the differentness of this remains markedly profound. "My treasured greenstone," you translate for her, thinking that it's fitting given her love of the woods. And her value, a treasure among women if ever you met one- though thankfully for your self respect you don't say that aloud.
Grinning broadly at her price, you rumble a low laugh. "Let's see if ya still want me then," you say in playful, hopeful response- and then, before you can fuck things up further, lean in for the kiss. It's a tender thing, gentle yet confident, a little bit sloppy given your current state. It's the kind of kiss that says something very different than I want to fuck you (though let's not get that wrong- you absolutely do).
burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
Vai doesn’t think anyone has told her she’s got to be happy before. Not someone as close as Zeph is to her right now, anyway, and the colour in her cheeks deepens. Still, she is not as drunk as he is, so the platitude is stored sweetly away for later contemplation; it’s not as though she can afford to let her attention slip from him when he’s like this, besides.
She hums against the pad of his thumb upon her lips, an eyebrow raising at the translation. ”Now you’ve gone and caught me off guard. I didn’t get you a pet name in return,” she protests quietly, though it’s at that moment that Zeph leans in and steals the wry smile away with the soft press of his mouth on hers.
It’s absolutely not what she’s expecting, and yet so much more at the same time. Definitely not the sort of kiss that begs for hurried breaths and stripping off layers. No, this is a slow burn, a kindling of something deeper, something Vai isn’t sure quite how she tripped and fell into. But it turns out there’s someone there to catch her, even if he’s currently off his tits.
And she wants more of it, which comes as an abrupt surprise for perhaps a second or two, nothing more. Then Vai is moving, turning with a shift of her hips to sit comfortably astride him, fingers sliding into the back of his hair. ”I’ll still want you then,” she murmurs. ”I want you now.”
You've kissed a lot of people in the years since Ella died. Big kisses, small kisses, fierce kisses, hungry kisses. Most of them were less kiss than facsimile of fucking, a prelude with tongues to simulate that which you actually want to do with your cock. But this? This kiss is like sinking into a cool bed on a hot day. It's a promise you're making, and and a thing you're asking for, an unspoken oath made with heat and lips.
You're horribly worried when she breaks away, because even though you're drunk as a skunk you can feel how key this moment is. It's the moment where she can choose to disappear just like Ray had hours before. The point where good things in your life tend to be taken away- that, or you leave them behind to avoid the risk.
Instead she's sitting in your lap, trapping you in place. On instinct your wrap your arms around her, so strangely comfortable holding her even after so short a time. And gods, she wants you, even here at your low point, drunk and mourning and hardly able to keep yourself upright. "I want you, too," you murmur, gasp, tightening your grasp upon her and leaning against her chest. "I really, really want you, but.... I also kinda want to throw up."
And just like that another moment is ruined, thanks to the truly impressive skills of Zephyr Kawaianu, Romantic Drunk.
burn all the things you have to burn save all the people you're supposed to save
He slumps against her chest, arms snug around her, and Vai can’t stop the smile that creeps across her face. Indeed, her laugh is positively musical as the sudden romantic (albeit drunk) gesture takes a turn towards cold reality. ”Sexy,” she remarks, leaving her fingers loosely tangled in his hair, her free arm slipping around his back. ”Maybe let’s take a break from all that wanting, and you can just sit quiet for a bit?”
Vai doesn’t know whether or not Zeph has actually taken her advice on board, and when she shifts to check and look down at him, she realises why. The drunk fuck is out cold, without so much as a goodnight. Snorting and shaking her head, Vai leaves him to it. It’s better that way, probably, and she’s glad she dumped the whiskey. Last thing Zeph needed was more fuel for his fire.
