what have I done

[ This thread takes place directly after The cure ] Her feet had taken her out of the Underground quite without her realising - she'd forgotten her shoes, too, where she'd left them after walking through the flooded corridor. It was snowing and dark but Isla's vision cut through the shadows as though they were nothing, and if she blinked too quickly, too intentionally, the world coloured itself in shades of infrared. Disorientated and with toes exposed to the biting cold, not that she could feel it, the fledgling Ascended didn't even have the sense to put her arms around herself to try and keep some heat in. Did she still need to be wary of the cold if she couldn't feel it? A quick scan of herself showed she was faring quite well, all in all, but there was stress around her feet from the lack of coverings. Shaking it away, Isla found herself falling to a tottering halt amid the shops in the Settlement - still a long way out from the Sanctuary and even longer from home. She shivered and it had nothing to do with the weather. Her cheeks were wet. Isla the flesh is weak

Just about to close up for the evening (not that that really held any significance since he didn't really keep regular hours nor did he have an open or closed sign), as Remi stepped out into the street, he was shocked and immediately propelled into action by the sight of his friend halted in the middle of the laneway. She looked almost in a trance, her eyes not quite focusing and in a state of dress that should have rendered her frozen. "Isla!" He called immediately, forgetting about closing or locking his door, and instead running towards her. Shrugging off his jacket the alchemist wrapped it around her arms but finding them not quite as cold as he would have expected. She must not have been out long, he thought to himself, running his hands along her arms to try and warm her. It was then he noticed the fact that she wasn't wearing shoes, and the wetness on her cheeks. Concern contorted his affable and boyish features as his mouth opened in a surprised O of alarm. "Isla what is wrong?" REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

Isla might have stood there all night if it weren't for Remi. She blinked wide eyes up at him as the jacket suddenly found its way around her shoulders, the healer touching her fingertips to the fabric as if to reassure herself that she could still feel that much. "You'll get cold," she said in a faint and distant voice, even as he tried to warm her up. Absently her hand moved from the jacket to the wetness on her cheeks - not salt tears, but... that stuff she was made of now, she guessed. He asked what was wrong and her breath hitched in her throat, Isla looking down at her hands and shaking her head. Nothing? Everything? Her mind swam with it. "I... I went to the Shrine. Where you... the one where you saw the Voice." She glanced over her shoulder, eyes piercing the darkness easily. Fresh tears tracked her cheeks when she pressed them shut. "Remi, I asked her for... I'm sorry, I... She shook her head helplessly. Isla the flesh is weak

The fact that Isla would worry about him when she was standing in the snow barefoot was concerning. She was a healer yes and so perhaps some might think it would make sense her immediate concern for someone else understandable, but Remi knew Isla. She was pragmatic. She wasn't an idiot. She wouldn't just be standing outside in the snow like this. "So will you. Come inside." So saying he tried to encourage her to follow him by tightening his fingertips against her arms until her gaze lowered and she began to speak again. Though the Voice did not ring within him the same bell of terror hearing Ludo or Frey's name did, the alchemist was still understandably wary of the gods. What she said didn't make much sense to him, until he recalled how the Voice had asked Amalia if she wanted to ascend. Eyes widening slightly with concern for his friend (as well as a distinct lack of judgement), he lowered his head slightly to try to peer into her eyes which seemed to be weeping something that looked too shiny to be tears. But then it was dark, and Remi was tired. "What did you ask her for?" He inquired gently, heart pounding but not wanting to jump to conclusions too soon. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

She ought to go inside, yes. That was... that sounded logical. And she was barefoot out here - too long like that and she'd get frostbite. Or she would have. If she was still... Shaking her head in a jerking motion as if to dislodge that thought, Isla's eyes fluttered back open to find Remi trying to catch her gaze. She held his eyes willingly, still trembling a bit, though as before the snow had nothing to do with it. "I don't feel cold," she told him. "I don't feel anything." Sniffing, Isla reached up to clasp his shoulder, trying on a smile that was wobbly and broke within moments. "I needed to know," she said in a half whisper. "It hurt so much, Remi. I saw myself change, I was there... it..." Was horrific. "...was wonderful." Isla the flesh is weak

Not feeling anything was something that the alchemist knew a bit about, though not in the way Isla meant it. Letting his hand lower as hers raised to her shoulder, the alchemist frowned sympathetically as Isla's smile faltered and fell away. Breathing out a puff of anxious and upset air as she mentioned how much it hurt, his fingers tensed against her for a moment as his head tilted almost protectively to the side, jaw clenching. "And now? You feel...nothing?" REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

"I feel your hand... and your coat. And I know it's warm, I just... don't feel the warmth," she explained, as best as she could anyway. "Same with the cold..." So saying, Isla wiggled her toes and gazed down at them. When she looked back up there was something like devastation in her eyes. "Ascended," she whispered. "Remi, I believe I've been very, very foolish." Swiping at her eyes, Isla dropped all pretense of pragmatism and huddled up under his jacket, as though she could make herself as small as possible and disappear from all of this. "Sorry," she said again. "I didn't mean to bother you. I just need to get home." Isla the flesh is weak

Remi's expression softened slightly, but with confusion and intrigue. She couldn't feel the warmth? It was fascinating as much as it was concerning. A smile trembled on Remi's lips as Isla wiggled her toes, but as her eyes rose back to his the smile cracked and faded. "Some of the greatest minds often are." The alchemist consoled gently, his fingers tightening around her once more until it occurred to him that this gesture probably no longer held any real significance for her anymore. That was strange. Physical comfort had never really been the alchemist's strong suit, and yet to know that it was now completely inert was...strange, to say the least. "Home? No. It's the middle of the night and even if you can't feel the cold—" Pausing, Remi gave the medic a softly intrigued look. "—You can't feel it...but does it still effect you the same?" The scientific part of Remi's mind wanted to sweep Isla inside and test the limits of just what it was she'd done to herself. Of course that was a horrible first thought, especially with what seemed like they were tears staining her cheeks. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

"I'm no great mind." Isla smiled weakly, staring at the floor again. "Just a fool who asks too many questions." Regardless of the significance of the gesture, she still appreciated his touch nonetheless, her hand sneaking out of his jacket so it could rest atop his, giving it a gentle squeeze. A frown flickered over her face at his refusal to let her go on her way, though she knew it was coming from a good place. Lifting one of her feet from the snow, she could see it was pink with the stress of being out in such low temperatures, but another cursory scan of herself showed that any damage she was sustaining was being repaired by the overhaul. "I believe it affects me the same, but that is mitigated by... by..." She held out her hands, indicating herself. Pinching the bridge of her nose like she had a headache, Isla suddenly looked exhausted. "Would you take me inside somewhere, please? I don't feel well." ISLA Hush now, I'm here

"Now we both know that is not true." Remi said with a flicker of amusement in his voice. Creasing his brows, he watched as she extended her hands as if there was something in the gesture he was meant to understand. He didn't of course, and instead he blinked absently waiting for her to go on. Cautiously reassured that whatever had happened at least her feet weren't going to fall off, the alchemist was beyond relieved as she finally agreed to go inside. Draping an arm around her to carry some of her weight if she wanted to lean against him, Remi kicked opened the door gently and led her towards the back of his shop. Depositing her in a chair if she'd allow, quickly the alchemist busied himself with starting a fire. Though ... if she hadn't been cold outside, she likely wouldn't be in here. Still, the heat and the light helped calm him if nothing else. Returning back to her, Remi sat across from her, hands folded gently between his knees as he regarded her curiously. "Another ascended I met ... had to ..." Gently he touched the side of his neck where the marks from Sam's teeth had already disappeared. "...it strengthened him." Whatever strangeness had resulted from that encounter, he'd not deny Isla sustenance if it was within his ability to provide it. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

"Tch, flatterer," Isla managed in a wry tone. She leant against him gratefully as he draped his arm about her shoulders, stepping with him towards his shop and waiting for him to lead them inside. She murmured a thanks as he helped her to a chair, Isla drinking in the familiar sights and scents, closing her eyes against the change in light when he started the fire. Physically she might only be starting to understand what had happened, but in her mind - still Accepted, at least for now - the fire and its light and warmth were safety. How long would it take before she was as fearful of it as any other sane Ascended? She sat just as she had done when they'd met here previously, bare feet tucked beneath the chair, her hands in her lap. Her fair hair, originally tied back, had slipped mostly loose, falling about her face and leaving her looking just as dishevelled as she felt. Remi spoke again and her blue eyes flitted up to fix upon him, Isla frowning and reaching up to touch her own neck. "I know," she whispered. "...Archebold." Need she say more? And worse still, was she so foolish not to have realised that this is what she would have to do as well. Dabbing at her cheeks to clean herself up, Isla shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you." ISLA Hush now, I'm here

Ahh yes. That was Remi all over, known flatterer. Still it made him chuckle under his breath, reassured somewhat that whatever had happened, Isla was still in there somewhere. "Ah." Remi intoned gently, finding himself somewhat unsurprising. Was it because of how beautiful Isla was that it seemed fitting the former bloodfiend would want a taste of her? Or because of how captivating and dominating Arche was, that he'd seek to have something like her? Either way, the alchemist swallowed hard, finding his eyes falling softly away from the pebble-blueness of the medic's gaze. At the mention of hurting him, Remi shook his head, but the motion was stunted by the memories of the cave. "Hurt." He murmured, his voice nearly as low as hers. "It...does not." Heat crept into his cheeks, unwanted and uncalled for. Isla was his friend, and a woman besides. Surely something about his experience with Samuel had to do with his sexual inclinations as it was, and the fact that they were on the brink of death. Glancing towards Isla, the alchemist tilted his head gently. "I know many things have changed since we have come here. And...bloodfiend or ascended, it seems that this has not. Besides, you have done so much for me—" He added trying to lighten the mood with a dimpled-half smile. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

Ah. Yes, that. In truth Isla didn't know why the former bloodfiend had come to her infirmary that day. It certainly wasn't to help, as his pretense had been. Then, too, Isla's curiosity had gotten her into waters too deep to wade out of. If she had refused to go with him, if she had refused to take the bait by wanting answers, by wanting to know, just like she'd done down in the Shrine-- Crackle and smoke as her pain receptors obliterated under the Voice's expert touch She clenched her hands unconsciously, raising an eyebrow as he continued to speak. "It does not hurt?" She sounded skeptical at best, the healer regarding him carefully like she was trying to catch out the lie. "I have merely done my job," she chastised him. "You are the one who has made things easier for me. It would feel wrong to take further advantage of you. Besides..." She'd have blushed if there was blood to rise to her cheeks. "I... I do not know what I am meant to do." ISLA Hush now, I'm here

Remi's own brows raised in response. "Did it hurt when he—" Bit you? Fed on you? It seemed such a crude way to describe what he'd experience with Sam, and yet at its core that was precisely what it was. "But no. It did not hurt." He answered after a moment trying to ignore the way the more feral side of himself wanted to beg reassure her further. "Yes. Made things easier by giving you a variety of different wounds to work on perhaps." Remi replied back with an easy grin. As for what to do? Well...The Voice offered her wrists to Arche and Sam in the Shrine...but Sam drank from my neck. I think it needs to be from where blood flows easily." But of course properly schooled on anatomy, Isla would know better than any where those places would be. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times