From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
she does not know what it's like not to have deep emotions
The guilt she feels for leaving Loren is nothing compared to the anticipation she feels now.
Almost giddy with excitement she makes her way back to the rooms they've been given, the canteen of as-yet-frozen water clutched tight in her hands. Jyoti flies along behind her, crooning concernedly, sill worried about Loren and this new fervor. It would be a lie to say that the Shield hadn't been tempted to keep the water for herself, to drink it down and prolong her time safe from the illness that haunts her like a nightmare, but the temptation paled quickly when she realized this other course.
She does not knock upon the door, bursting into her friends' room with a forceful, vibrant urgency. "Ronin!" Amalia exclaims, practically bouncing as she enters the room, the canteen gripped in trembling fingers. "I have- I found Loren. And he didn't want it. So I brought it for Remi. It just needs to thaw."
even when she feels nothing she feels it completely
09-16-2020, 08:23 PM (This post was last modified: 09-16-2020, 08:44 PM by Ronin.)
RONIN
They have been given rooms, and Sugar is minding Remi, and so Ronin is stealing a selfish few minutes to shower. Or he was, at least, until Amalia comes bursting into the room. The noise that comes from the bathroom is very manly and not at all terrified and surprised, and Ronin is doing an impeccable job of pretending it hasn’t happened as he steps out into the room, soaking wet with a towel around his waist.
”You found Loren? What did— wait, what? Is that—” His shock makes words all try to tumble out at once, the Star striding forward to look at the canteen. It’s exactly the same as the one he saw her with on the beach, Ronin’s lips parting in awe as he gazes down at her. ”You are incredible,” he breathes, his arms moving around her in a bear hug that both lifts her from the ground and has the towel falling off him.
she does not know what it's like not to have deep emotions
She hadn't thought to think about what she may be interrupting, barging in like this. Later she will be grateful that she didn't walk in on anything truly scandalous- though by now Amalia has spent enough time in their home to know that such things are usually very, very well advertised. In the brief time she crashed with them she heard far more than she ever wanted or needed, despite her best attempts to shut the noise out.
No, finding Ronin in a state of relative undress is hardly enough to phase her these days. Especially enthusiastic as she is, practically bursting with anticipation, her concern for Loren fallen aside as she's scooped up into the Star's arms. "It's still frozen but- Vi's beard, Ronin!" She practically shrieks this last declaration, laughter bubbling from her lips as she quickly averts her gaze. Her cheeks are flushed as red as roses, the canteen clutched against her chest. "I love you, but that's not something I need to see. Save it for when Remi's awake."
even when she feels nothing she feels it completely
Now they’re both soaking wet from his shower, and Ronin gives not one single fuck, though he’s grinning like an idiot even as the canteen burns his chest with how cold it is. ”Amalia, that isn’t Vi’s beard, it’s my—” He’s cut off by her peal of laughter, which honestly is probably for the best, and as she averts her gaze and blushes so furiously, he gently sets her to the ground... and swoops down to retrieve the towel.
Clearing his throat bashfully and covering himself up again, he can’t help the broad grin that spreads across his face. ”You joke about it, but in the nicest possible way, when Remi is awake I trust you will be smart enough to excuse yourself.” Not that it would help, even if she flew across Snowcloak. Ronin has a lot of time to make up for. ”Thank you,” he adds, reaching out to touch her cheek. ”I know you need it too, so... I owe you for it.”
she does not know what it's like not to have deep emotions
She's still blushing furiously when she turns back, and she can't help the way her eyes dart down to the towel that's now around his waist. She'd be a liar if she denied any interest, lonely and untouched as she's been, but this is her friend and Remi's husband and no, Amalia, no.
Shaking the damp off her body she looks back up to meet his grin. The blush only deepens with the open declaration of his intentions for what will happen when Remi is awake, though her smile falters for a moment, eyes darting down again.
And back up.
"I- you- yeah. Of course." She's ready to step back and leave him, but his hand is on her cheek. There's no way he can know what he's doing but he has to, right? Her heart is beating faster than it should, a roar of emotions in her ears. Envy for the love he shares with Remi, loneliness, desire---
Amalia steps back, clearing her throat, now looking down to stare quite studiously at the canteen.
"I'd be a liar if I said I didn't think about it," she admits softly, glancing away and pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "But you know I'd do anything for Remi. And... and I'll be better soon, once we get to the hot springs."
even when she feels nothing she feels it completely
Suddenly things feel awkward, and it’s not a feeling he can ever recall having around Amalia before. Ronin lets his hand drop away and rubs at the back of his neck instead, his dark hair still dripping from the shower. No stranger to blushing that isn’t necessarily because of embarrassment, he still keeps the smile on his face; gratitude for her sacrifice transcends whatever might be going on here. ”I’d not believe you if you said you hadn’t thought about it,” he admits, but he’s warmed to realise that she chose this anyway.
”You know we’d do anything for you as well.” Ronin is already starting to pulse with starlight, giving away his emotions on the matter. ”Listen, I know I joked but... do you want to stay, for a bit? I know he’d want to see you too, especially given what you’ve done. I just need a sec to get...” He gestures to himself, and the painful lack of clothing.
she does not know what it's like not to have deep emotions
It's been a difficult few weeks for Amalia, and she'd be a liar to say she isn't more volatile than usual. But it's cruel to let herself fall apart in the moment when he's so elated, and so the girl rallies as best she can, heart still pounding and cheeks still flushed and eyes still studiously not on his body.
Difficult when he's still half-naked, flush with starlight and dripping wet.
The offer is achingly, terribly tempting, a selfish part of Amalia clinging to it like a line. "I wouldn't want... I know you two want to spend time together," she answers, running her hand over her arm, a smile curling at her lips. "I don't want to get in the way." Still she makes no attempt to exit, rooted anxiously to the floor.
even when she feels nothing she feels it completely
”Ama,” Ronin says, his tone dry and amused as he tries to meet her eyes even as she stares so painstakingly at anything but him. ”When have you ever been in the way?” She’s been living with them and she knows from experience by now that it doesn’t stop them at all - and if that turns out to be the case here, Amalia will know blatantly that it’s time to leave.
As if sensing her anxiety, he reaches out to snag her hand, giving her a small tug as if to unstick her feet from the ground. ”What’s wrong? This is a happy occasion, I thought?” Ronin grins, nodding at the canteen she’s still holding. ”Maybe we should put that in the bathroom so it can thaw out. Probably the warmest place.”
she does not know what it's like not to have deep emotions
Always jumps immediately to her lips, and it's testament to her overall improved mental health that she doesn't say the word aloud or let it drown out the rest of her thoughts. Instead she simply shrugs and chuckles, running her hand over her wrist until he reaches out to snag it and break her reverie.
"I- nothing. Nothing's wrong." It's an obvious lie but a valiant one, her smile returning to her lips if not quite her eyes. "I just... it's stupid, but I miss Deimos. Not- not our relationship, but having someone. I got so used to feeling loved." Stupid and selfish, given that she was the one to leave it behind.
She shakes her head with a low chuckle, dismissing her own morose thoughts and turning back to the canteen. "We can run hot water on it. That should melt it quickly." Once Remi's healed she'll feel better. Once she's not so gods-damned tired.
even when she feels nothing she feels it completely
”You’re such a bad liar,” Ronin says with a shit-eating grin, though her denial gives way, at least, to the truth without too much prompting. And Ronin sighs, his smile softening to something warmer; he gives her hand a gentle squeeze and leads them through into the bathroom where they can run the canteen under some warm water, as per her suggestion. It’s still thick with steam after the shower, Ronin turning on a tap and nodding as if to tell her to go ahead.
”Are you saying that our love isn’t good enough for you?” he says jokingly, leaning a hip against the sink. ”Sometimes I guess you just have to learn to give that love to yourself.” He speaks slowly, hesitantly; because gods if the Star isn’t a hypocrite sometimes to even suggest it. ”Give yourself time, though. You’ll have someone again, I bet.”
she does not know what it's like not to have deep emotions
She chuckles at the call-out, following him to the bathroom and trying very hard not to look at his largely unclothed body, especially the towel slung low around his waist, giving her far more of a view of his ass than she's strictly comfortable with. It's strange: she's seen Ronin nearly-naked multiple times, before, but never did it leave her feeling flustered the way it does now.
The canteen goes under the water in the steamy bathroom, the warmth leaving her head a little fuzzy. She looks down at it, as though staring will cause the ice (and the tension) to melt away faster, biting on her lip. "Do you?" Amalia asks quietly, looking back up at his blue eyes and trying hard to feel nothing but familial friendship. Then she drops her head again, shaking it with a wry laugh. "For that to happen someone has to want me."
She realizes what she's said and how it sounds the moment the words leave her, immediately scrunching up her face in an expression of distaste. "Sorry, I didn't mean- I didn't mean to make this about me. I made my choice, and I don't regret it. It's... it's just hard. I didn't think it would be so hard."
even when she feels nothing she feels it completely
They both watch the canteen and its stubborn frozen state, the water slowly starting to thaw it out, though it’ll be a little while still before there’s enough for a decent sip. And Ronin wants to make sure that Remi is able to drink all of it, if he can. Humming a thoughtful sigh at Amalia’s question, he glances up to meet her eyes, a crooked smile on his face. Does he give love to himself? (Not like that, you filth). ”Not as often as I ought to,” he says, nose scrunching a bit at the admission.
But as she suggests that no one would want her, Ronin scoffs out a laugh before he can stop himself, and he has to resist the urge to tell her playfully to fuck off. Remembering that he’s in Amalia’s presence, he manages to school the words into something less abrasive. ”Ama, just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing for you,” he says with a shrug. ”And for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’ll have a problem with anyone wanting you.” He winks.
she does not know what it's like not to have deep emotions
The lack of self-love is a familiar experience (in more ways than one, ayooo), and Amalia finds herself returning his smile with a tired one of her own. Reaching out to place her hand over his, she offers a gentle squeeze. "You should do it more. If there's anyone who deserves it, it's you," she offers sweetly and genuinely, totally oblivious to the innuendo hidden in the exchange.
She's turned away when he speaks again, but her head quickly snaps back around, dark eyes widening, the flush returning to her cheeks. To have him say she could be wanted fills her with both doubt and hope. Amalia married her first love, after all: she has very little experience with flirting, with being made to feel desirable. But if he believes it, if he believes it-
"Would you? I- I mean, I, I know you don't, o-obviously, I just- if things were different, would- not that I want you to- not that wouldn't want you to because you are, y'know, but I- oh, gods, forget I said anything." She's babbling by the end of it, scrambling and tripping over her words, already red as a beet. Utterly embarrassed Amalia drops her elbows to the low counter, back bending and face buried deep into her hands. She remembers hallucinating that the floor tried to swallow her, and oh what she wouldn't give for that to be the case.
even when she feels nothing she feels it completely
09-17-2020, 10:49 PM (This post was last modified: 09-17-2020, 10:54 PM by Ronin.)
RONIN
”I don’t know about that,” Ronin says, maybe a touch bashfully, though he gives her a shrug and a nod as if to say that he’ll take the advice on board. It’s what LongHeat was originally supposed to be all about, after all - so of course some mystery sickness from the Climb has crawled down to say hello. Of course it has.
It’s been a while since Ronin has flirted with this sort of immediate effect (honestly it’s been a while since Ronin has acted in this way with anyone who isn’t Remi, so perhaps the realisation that it’s flirting is lost on him), and the blush on her cheeks is suddenly attractive in a way that is both unexpected and alluring all of a sudden. It’s no secret that the past couple of weeks have been frustrating and stressful in a way that, frankly, is driving Ronin to distraction, and he’s about to ask if Amalia is alright when she beats him to the punch.
And it’s not something he would have ever expected to hear from his friend, the Star unable to react or respond or reassure before she’s hiding her face away. ”Ama,” he begins, reaching out to touch a hand to her shoulder, trying to coax her into looking up. If he’s able to, he’ll draw her back up from the counter, head ducking a little to see if he can catch her eye.
”I would,” Ronin says, as if it’s a revelation that has just occurred to him. ”I do.”
