(SE) talk some sense to me

SUNJATA

the flood

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

“Waiting?” Sunjata repeats, uncertainty lingering in his mind but not his body, not as his hands flex wanting to reach the edge of the basin just to see. A pause has a kiss pressed to Nate’s cheek, his other hand lifting to rest on the edge of the bowl. And then Nate’s hand is there as well, meeting the other side in a perfect circle, almost as if they could channel something into it.

His breath holds, heart thundering, taking Nate’s words to heart as the worry sinks in, fingers running along the edge of the basin in the center.

And with baited breath… Absolutely nothing happens.

He puffs out a sigh, a laugh of relief and surprise, turning to Nate then. “I’ve got nothing.” He murmurs by means of feelings, shifting his attention entirely to Nate, letting go of the bowl to turn toward his husband. “Do you feel anything?”

and i'll use you as a focal point
so i don't lose sight of what i want

- NATE -

all we are, we're distant stars
lost in the dark, i know how to part

All Nate knows is he expects something to happen. Anything. It feels right, this circle they’ve made with the basin, this strange ritual they’ve made up, and maybe that’s what makes it all the more upsetting when nothing at all happens.

His disappointment is palpable, Nate’s one eye locked to the basin as if he’s missed something, as if he’s done something wrong. He shakes his head before he speaks, voice quiet, strained. ”Nothing.” Slowly, his gaze lifts, not to Sunjata, though the blue flickers that way, but it’s only a detour on the way to the invisible ceiling.

Laughter leaves Nate, cold and stiff, a stop-block to keep from crying. Why is he surprised? Why would the stone be waiting for him, why would he think so highly of himself. His hand squeezes Sunjata’s tightly, carefully, unlike the hand still on the basin, Nate letting the edge of it dig into his hand until his body tells him to stop, until there’s a trickle of fluid bubbling around the edges of his clenched fingers.

searching high and low for life
a paradise, a light in your eyes

SUNJATA

the flood

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

Everything does feel right, and yet nothing’s occurred. And perhaps his amusement is not met with the Ascended, not as Sunjata notices the way Nate’s voice is quiet, strained, his lips quirking a bit to the side as he considers it. There’s a hand squeezed, a bit of laughter, though Sunjata knows that it’s faltering, it’s a blockade, and his senses pick up the scent of the fluid on the edge of the basin.

His free hand moves, to try and cover Nate’s hand on the edge of the bowl, trying to soothe the worry there, the rest of him moving to stand as close to his husband as he can, moving in and pressing a kiss to Nate’s cheek. “Hey, it’s okay.” He murmurs, the hand intertwined with Nate’s leaving so he might cup the Ascended’s cheek. “Maybe this isn’t it. Maybe it’s somewhere else. Maybe it’s just… Gone for right now and will be back later?” He hums, the hand still covering Nate’s stroking the top of his hand gently.

“It's okay.” He flashes an easy grin to that, wings unfurling from his back so he might wrap Nate tightly into him and block out the frustration and sorrow that nothing’s occurred.

and i'll use you as a focal point
so i don't lose sight of what i want

- NATE -

all we are, we're distant stars
lost in the dark, i know how to part

As soon as the attuned touches him, Nate’s hand releases the sharp edge of the obsidian, though he makes no effort to pull away. He does turn though, turns his back to the void and looks instead at Sunjata, his brows pulled together in confused sorrow.

All of Sunjata’s suggestions make sense, though Nate knows they’re placations, knows that it’s just not true. There was something here, something not meant for them. ”It shouldn't bother me.” Disappointment is a familiar hat by now, but it’s very rarely hit him as strongly as this has, very rarely been so much that he can’t simply cover it up with something else. Nate sighs, then pulls his hands away, reaching to wrap his arms around Sunjata, to sink into the cool darkness of his husbands wings, instead of the living, mocking darkness all around them.

”I thought...” He begins, not sure how to communicate what he felt, not without coming across like a child, or a kicked dog. It was only growing harder and harder to keep himself together lately, to not be buffeted by the stormy seas of his emotions, and this was no different. Was almost worse, though he’s not sure why.

searching high and low for life
a paradise, a light in your eyes

SUNJATA

the flood

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

Nate’s eye finally meets his, and he puffs out a quiet sigh of relief even if Nate’s gaze holds nothing but confusion and sorrow. At least he’s not clutching the edge of the basin anymore, and for that Sunjata’s quietly thankful. After a few moments, he grasps Nate’s hand at the basin, pulling it into the little circle so that way his other wing can move to block out the light and the strange room around them. A soft smile crosses his face, encouraging, gentle.

His husband’s hands slip around him, Sunjata’s wings wrapping around them in their own makeshift darkness, and he presses a soft kiss against Nate’s temple before burying his face into familiar dark curls. “You thought it was waiting for us.” He hums softly, no amount of judgment in the accent of his voice. “You thought maybe it had… A fix.” Another quiet sound, face burying in and nuzzling against Nate’s neck.

“We’ll find one. I promise.” There’s got to be a cure for them somewhere, and if nothing else Sunjata’s positive he will try to keep that promise just as he had the vows from a wedding he barely remembers but knows he’d made. His hand slips up then, head pulling away so he might look back at Nate’s face, fingers stroking along his husband’s jaw before slit steel tries to meet a vibrant blue. “I love you.”

and i'll use you as a focal point
so i don't lose sight of what i want

- NATE -

all we are, we're distant stars
lost in the dark, i know how to part

It’s safe here, in Sunjata’s arms, in his wings, even if the unknown presses in against their makeshift safety. The attuned is warmer than the stone, more present, and without the distant hunger and threat Nate felt all around. ”I did.” Nate says softly, tilting his head to make it easier for his husband to nuzzle in. And again, just as soft. ”I did.” It’s maybe the closest he's come to admitting he's sick out loud, the closest he’s come to admitting how terrified the idea makes him.

Nate’s eye finds Sunjata’s face as the promise leaves him, wanting desperately to believe him. Choosing to believe him, despite the despair coiling in the back of his head, now that he’s accepted, at least in part, his illness. With the belief, no matter how forced, a smile crosses his face, just in time for the stew eyes to find it, as fingers brush along his jaw. ”I love you too.” He leans up, hesitating a moment before their lips connect, Nate’s one eye looking for something in Sunjata’s, then slipping closed as they kissed.

After barely a moment, barely a breath lost to the kiss, Nate is drawing back, a smile coming to his face, warmer and brighter than the cover ups he’d had before. ”Who wants to be chosen anyway?” He says easily, the edges of the words sharp, but sincere. ”It’s dangerous, right?” Of course it was, he’d said so himself. Its impossible to tell whether his mind has changed on a dime, or if he’s simply relearned the trick of lying, but either is better than his quiet moping, his obvious hurt.

searching high and low for life
a paradise, a light in your eyes

SUNJATA

the flood

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

He did. He did. And there were no results from this, as much as it pained Sunjata internally to find that out. At least for the moment he’s still got his head, still got a moment where he can’t quite pull his focus away from the good that’s happened despite the parts of his mind that are blacked out from nearly half the season.

Nate leans up, pressing a kiss that’s so brief he almost whines as soon as he pulls away, but he recovers, watching Nate’s face, the switch in action, the trick putting a mask over the hurt that he’d seen before even if his wings kept everything else out but him. He tries not to take it personally, not as he focuses on what he has in front of him. A crooked smile is given back to Nate, his words reflecting something that panged in his mind long ago in Korofi.

“It sucks.” He rumbles, giving Nate a knowing look. “People look up to you, you fuck up, they get appalled… It’s really not all it’s cracked up to be.” A wink given toward Nate before his wings pull back slightly, letting in a bit more light in this dark cavern, a little bit more that his slit steel gaze would be able to take more of Nate in.

“We can stay a little longer if you want to. See if anything happens. Or do you want to head back home?” He asks, fingers running along Nate’s jawline again, wings flexing and unflexing in their half arc around the Ascended.

and i'll use you as a focal point
so i don't lose sight of what i want

- NATE -

all we are, we're distant stars
lost in the dark, i know how to part

If it’s been an eternity since he’d struggled to put a mask on and play at things being fine, then it’s been even longer since he’d felt any kind of guilt for it. He does here though. He’s not okay, he doesn’t have to be okay, but Nate doesn’t know how to actually follow through on the sentiment, doesn’t know how to simply accept it. It feels easier to bite it back, to bury it in a shallow grave and forget about it.

Even if it makes him feel guilty, makes him feel like he’s somehow betraying the openness him and Sunjata had found.

Far be it for Nate to not believe his husband. Out of anyone he knew, anyone he’d ever known, Sunjata knew best what kinds of strains and expectations were placed on that gilded pedestal. ”I wanna be special without any responsibility then.” Nate clarifies, a laugh huffing out of him. He can’t help wanting it, not right now, when he can’t quite make the argument to himself to drop it.

”We should slide down again.” Comes the near immediate suggestion, his smile trading its sharpness for a boyish excitement. ”You need to slide too. It’s... its equality.” Nate knows even as it leaves his mouth that that’s not quite right, but he stands by it anyway, leans into the hands on his face.

searching high and low for life
a paradise, a light in your eyes

SUNJATA

the flood

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

There’s clarification as soon as Nate speaks, and the amused smile along Sunjata’s face edges toward something more playful, more crooked, while his fingers pause gently at the side of Nate’s neck, tugging on a rogue curl. He inhales, scanning Nate’s face, before he shrugs lightly, wings bouncing with the movement. “You’ve got that already.” He murmurs, leaning forward as if to tell Nate a big secret.

“You’re my chosen one. Without the responsibility, of course.” He pulls away, his left hand leaving Nate so he might wiggle the ring of stars and a crescent moon before his husband, before the amusement fades a small amount with the suggestion Nate makes of what they should do.

It’s not equality, but he’ll give him that regardless, a puff of laughter escaping his throat and echoing around the cavern walls and the soft velveteen wings. “Alright. Again. At least I’ll be expecting it this time, hm?” His head tilts, wings withdrawing fully as he folds them neatly along his back, reaching to grasp Nate’s hand to walk back up the tunnel’s slick path.

and i'll use you as a focal point
so i don't lose sight of what i want

- NATE -

all we are, we're distant stars
lost in the dark, i know how to part

Brows rise with a healthy amount of skepticism, Nate not sure if the other man is simply winding him up, or if he’s serious. But he can’t resist a secret, can’t resist leaning in, one eye wide and excited, his fangs pressing against his lips with the weight of his smile. And the secret that comes is one that he knows, one that he feels foolish for forgetting, one that he’s elated has he been given words.

If Nate could blush he would. As he is, he just laughs, breathless and pleased, and leans in close, his arms tightening around Sunjata, his eye following the dancing silver ring until he can’t anymore. ”I’d rather be yours than anything else.” The purr is followed up with a kiss, just under the attuned’s ear, just over the the biggest patch of scars. ”Ek is goed daarin om jou maan te wees.” The Korofi is haltingly shy, Nate’s accent trying to wrap around words that aren’t in any way meant for it.

The wings encasing them fold up and away, revealing the cavern in its entirety again, and Nate wonders if he’s lost the magic, or if it was simply the sickness making it seem so... weighty. It’s just a dark room. ”You can have fun this time. There’s no secrets, right?” No pitfalls or hidden lava pools. Just smooth black stone that Nate struggles to get his footing on, nearly toppling over and starting their slide prematurely.

They manage to reach the top without incident, their footsteps echoing far more than seemed natural, wrapping around them in the same way Nate’s laughter had. Back on flat ground, the ascended is more confident stepping, moving around his husband, arms wrapping around his shoulders, a proper, long kiss pressed to his lips. Nate steps forward, pushing the other man back while he does, until they’re up against a wall, between a techno-vampire and a hard place. ”Are you ready to have the time of your life?” He rumbles, presumably talking about the slide, though, his hands start to roam, slipping further down Sunjata’s back to rub around the base of his wings, fingers insistent but gentle.

searching high and low for life
a paradise, a light in your eyes

SUNJATA

the flood

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

A low hum is given to Nate, head tilting slightly when the kiss is applied to a very familiar spot along the Attuned’s neck. “You are my best moon.” He rumbles, cheek brushing against Nate’s face briefly. But then he’s pulling away slightly, wings folding up tight, an easy smile playing on his lips as his hands cling to Nate.

“No secrets. Just us and a lot of stone.” He gives Nate’s hand a light squeeze, following the Ascended up the glossy stone, trying to keep his own balance as well. It proves to be difficult, a boot scuffing here and there sending him lurching and clinging to Nate or the walls, wings flaring for balance, but before long they’re on flat ground again and Sunjata manages to release a huff of air in relief that they’d made it.

He remains still for the moment, waiting to see how Nate would prefer to slide down this time, when arms wrap around his shoulders and a long kiss is offered, Sunjata giving in without a second thought. He gives in again when Nate presses against him, hard enough he steps back into the wall, wings flaring out as he’s pinned against shiny black. The kiss breaks and Sunjata’s head tilts back a bit, focusing on Nate as the accented words leave his lips. And of course, he initially thinks of the slide, but then Nate’s hands are at the base of his wings and his body reacts. Of course he reacts, he can’t remember the last time they’d done this, not with the sickness blacking out his memory.

A low sigh slips from his lips, feet shuffling a bit against the stone, wings flaring and twitching with each touch Nate gives, a similar response Nate could likely feel pressed back against him. “I’d take the look of this cave over the Fingers any day.” He purrs, his own hands roaming from Nate’s arms to along his husband's chest, to his shoulders as Sunjata’s horns spiral from his head and click against the black stone behind him, scratching a line in the obsidian.

and i'll use you as a focal point
so i don't lose sight of what i want

- NATE -

all we are, we're distant stars
lost in the dark, i know how to part

”It’s... pretty. Kind of.” Nate agrees, his mouth and his hands moving with different minds. Fingers grow ever greedier, spurred on by the little twitches, by the clear as day reactions he’s dragging out with just a little touch. ”Shiny, and... sharp. I could stay here a long time.” Horns spiral out from the attuned’s head, and one of Nate’s hands rises to meet it, his thumb stroking along its base, just enough pressure exerted to keep Sunjata’s chin tipped up.

The blue eye flutters, closing gently as Nate leans to the side, his nose, his lips just barely brushing along sun brushed skin, tracing a path back to his favourite spot. His mouth opens, body pressing even harder against Sunjata, but he hesitates, something keeping him from biting, forcing him to wait. It confuses even him, an uncertain sound leaving the ascendeds throat, a request for permission, in a way. He’d been too greedy, once, or maybe gotten close to it, and though he can’t remember it clearly, it still worries him.

searching high and low for life
a paradise, a light in your eyes

SUNJATA

the flood

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

“In… A dark, dangerous kind of way.” He murmurs, stumbling only once as Nate’s hands continue to roam, heat flaring along his neck and cheeks. Still, as Nate continues, Sunjata can’t help but to mix their conversations — entirely distracted by his husband, entirely distracted by being pinned against the wall, distracted by the hand that lifts to a horn that has him almost whimpering in anticipation as his chin tilts up. “I’m not sure… That I can last a long time.” He trails off a bit, a sound slipping from him as Nate presses in harder, as Sunjata’s hips drive forward into his husband.

There’s a moment where he holds his breath, awaiting the familiar sensation that arises beneath his ear — but when it doesn’t come, when it feels like Nate’s drawing it out and toying him, his hands shift from Nate’s chest and shoulders to roam along his back and fist into his hair, the Ascended’s uncertain sound met with a whine of his own. He doesn’t know why Nate waits, can’t remember the time that he’d passed out during the sickness, and even if he did he wouldn’t want to stop this just yet.

He is greedy, after all. And so his head tilts a bit more, pressing into the hand at his horn, offering more of his neck up for Nate to take, a trembling and shuddering sound leaving him in an exhale. “Nate.” It’s almost a please, certainly a plea. A need.

and i'll use you as a focal point
so i don't lose sight of what i want

- NATE -

all we are, we're distant stars
lost in the dark, i know how to part

”I like dark... and dangerous.” It’s a purr, weaving together the actions of his hands and his voice so smoothly it seems almost planned. If it weren’t impossible, if he weren’t out of his mind, maybe he would have planned it. But his thread is lost quickly, as soon as Sunjata says something he doesn’t expect, doesn’t understand. ”Of course you can. As long as I do, obviously.” Nate chuckles, his body a hard, unmoving slab to be ground against, save for his hands, teasing at wings, at horns, and his leg, slipping in between the attuned’s with thought.

This, more than the pews, more than the silent basin, more than the endless, absolute void, this is holy. This, Sunjata, awakens a hunger in Nate, threatens to consume him, nearly does, but for a single thread of sanity holding him back, staying his teeth. For the moment.

A growl rumbles out of him, as his grip against Sunjata’s horn is fought against, until Nate realizes why his husband is moving, until he hears the whine, the plea, the permission. Nate bites, moaning into it immediately, letting sensation that he can no longer imagine flood through him, burn him from the inside out. He’s trying to slake his thirst, trying to not be greedy, but gods, he wants everything, everything Sunjata will give him.

searching high and low for life
a paradise, a light in your eyes