[SE] Those We Lost

GIDEON

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true

He'd had much the same reaction when he'd learnt about Judah's new friends, but at the time he'd not had the resources he did now; it was far too late to learn who he had met, or where. "No idea. I've heard he's in Halo sometimes, but I've heard other places too. No idea how much of it is true...every few months I try and look, but...I haven't seen him in nearly twenty years. Maybe he is actually dead. I suppose I could ask Ludo." Was Gideon ready to hear the answer, though? For all he and his brothers relationship was troubled and absent, he didn't want to know that Judah was gone for good.

Luciana wordlessly brought out her three lanterns; Gideon had half expected her to deflect his question, so the silent answer was a surprise. "Oh. Do you want to tell me who these are for?" He asked, looking over them each; there were plenty of assumptions that could be made, but he knew better than to do that.

That's why I hold with all I have
That's why I hold

Luciana

cause it makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder

Shrugging at the idea of asking Ludo, Luciana frowned. She drummed her fingers against the table as she considered the problem. Finally, she lifted her gaze to meet Gideon's eyes. "What makes you think he's dead?' Frowning, she returned her attention to the Priest's lantern, sawing the final side and making one last set of slots.

Sighing at the inevitable question, she turned to stare at her own lanterns. She didn't respond for a long set of breaths. Finally she swallowed and shook her head. "My family." Eyes trailing towards the crib, she wrenched her head away to get back to work, turning slightly so he couldn't see the expression on her face as easily.

it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter

GIDEON

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true

"...I mean, I have no way of knowing for sure." Gideon looked down towards the floor and shrugged with a sad, quiet laugh. "I'd just like to think if he was still alive he'dve made the effort to let us know he was alright, by now." Because even though Judah had betrayed him, ruined their parents hopes, run away from home...at night when it was cold, Gideon still sometimes hoped his brother had somewhere warm and safe to sleep. In a lot of ways it was easier to put a chapter end on it and pretend he could know for sure Judah was gone.

It seemed Luciana had her own difficult truths to admit. What had been intended to be a quick, casual visit had swiftly become one of the most vulnerable conversations the two had ever had, and Gideon glanced over the lanterns as she choked out her answer, eyes settling on the crib. "...I'm sorry. The lanterns are beautiful. "

That's why I hold with all I have
That's why I hold

Luciana

cause it makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder

"You could ask Ludo," Luciana pointed out. Glancing up from the frame for a moment, she grunted at Gideon's statements on his brother's lack of communication. Then her head ducked down again as she sawed the last little slot. "There you go."

She held it out for the Priest. It was an open box, with the horizontal rows of holes running through it. "I figured the slots would look shelflike after you layer the paper over it. You can paint little books in between them." Shrugging, she tilted it this way and that for his inspection.

Looking at her own lanterns, she sighed. "Thanks. Still working on them though." Taking out some paper and some paint, she slid it over to him. Then she pulled two pairs of scissors out of her belt, and began cutting the paper she still needed for her creations and offerings.

it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter

GIDEON

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true

"I could." Gideon agreed, but as he'd thought earlier, he added: "I just don't know if I want to. Maybe it's best not to know." Choosing uncertainty over knowledge did not come naturally to him, but in this one case, he wasn't ready for an uncomfortable truth.

He took the lantern from Luciana, at first not quite understanding what he was looking at and turning it left and right; at her explanation though his hands still and his eyes widened, Gideon genuinely impressed by the personal and thoughtful addition. "Thank you. That's very clever." He'd have to be sure his accompanying panels were actually decent now, which would be a challenge, but perhaps that would do him good.

"Oh. I didn't know I'd be making the whole thing here." He laughed, but took the paper and paint obediently, pausing with it in his hand as he considered how to start. "You're always prepared, aren't you?"

That's why I hold with all I have
That's why I hold

Luciana

cause it makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder

Luciana nodded, not looking at Gideon. Instead, she studied her lanterns. "It's always an option."

Lips curling up at his compliment, she inclined her head at him. "You're welcome." Barking out a laugh at his next statement and his question, she finally met his gaze. "That I am. It is my duty and my pleasure to help people with their projects."

Then she snorting and jerked her chin at the frame she'd made. "Besides, I'd hate to see all my hard work go to waste." With that, she turned to her own project. Holding one of the scissors, she snipped little holes in one of the sheets of papers, creating a line of vertical slits.

it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter

GIDEON

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true

Banter exchanged, they both settled into working on their projects, Gideon making tiny books for his own and putting them obediently into the holes that Luciana had carved into the frame; they were a little scruffy, the Priest not being much of a craftsman, but he found himself actually quite proud of them; it had been a long time since he'd tried to make anything.

Eventually, while he waited for some glue to dry between tiny pages, he turned to look at Luciana; they'd never been close, but they did have to work closely often. He found himself both liking and disliking her at the same time, never being quite sure how he felt; maybe this would be the beginning of an actual friendship.

"Have you visited the other cities recently? There's...a lot of interesting people out there. I've met Demi Gods, unfortunately some Ascended...but new Outlanders, fresh to this world, too." He tilted his head from side to side, trying to weigh up his thoughts on the newcomers. "Not here under the best circumstances. But interesting to know."

That's why I hold with all I have
That's why I hold

Luciana

cause it makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder

The slits Luciana had been cutting out soon were revealed to be the strands of a loom. She attached it to the lantern frame, turning it this way and that to make sure it met her approval. Eying the books that Gideon was making in her peripheral vision, she didn't speak, just moved on to making sure the shape of the anvil was correct. She picked up her pliers again, and bent a few pieces of the metal into a better angle.

Grunting at his words, she shrugged. "I went to the Citadel in Halo. Barbaric place." Grimacing, she shook her head. "And those Outlanders were brought here by the Voice. Most of them don't belong here," she growled.

it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter

GIDEON

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true

Gideon looked over with a raised eyebrow, surprised to hear that Luciana had quite such a harsh opinion of Halo and it's Citadel. The place was cold, run by an Abandoned woman...but the walls and buildings were impressive enough and he'd found the people decently educated. "Why do you say barbaric?" He asked, looking back down to work on the corners of his lantern, bending the metal to make the sharp edge softer.

He nodded as for Outlanders being brought by the Voice. "It...is the one element of the Voice where I find myself feeling some compassion. Not for her, but for those plucked from their worlds and dragged here. No choice in the matter; I would hate to be ripped out of my life and put elsewhere." He placed the lantern down and knelt to look at it, see how the sides looked so far. "The best thing we can do, I think, is make them good servants of the True Gods. That's the best way to piss off the Voice and ruin her plan."

That's why I hold with all I have
That's why I hold

Luciana

cause it makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder

Luciana's frown deepened at Gideon's question. Shrugging, she made one last correction to the metal of the anvil before setting it down. "They're led by an Abandoned, aren't they? Worse, they have a school for magic." She shuddered at the mention of it.

"Plus, they're mostly hunter-gatherers and their structures and tools are primitive at best." Gesturing around at her fully stocked forge and workshop, with all the comparatively modern bells and whistle, she raised her eyebrows as if the contrast should be evident.

Snorting at his explanation, she shook her head. "How do you know they didn't have a choice?" It was a genuine question, seeing as she was far from well-versed on the portal technology. "And no one really has a choice in how they're born, do they? The old gods have deemed that some souls are beyond saving." Her eyes glittered for a moment as they trailed over to the lantern that was designed as a crib.

it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter

GIDEON

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true

"Mmm. From what I understand, the school hasn't been in full operation for some time." And good riddance, clearly, but something about condemning the entirety of the Citadel as 'barbaric' didn't sit right with him. Gideon paused and tried to find the right words for a moment, fingers lightly tapping on the countertop until he said: "It's dangerous, I think, to call our enemies anything that betrays how intelligent and civilised they can appear. We can't underestimate them. For now, Halo is not our main enemy, but they could be in the future, and it wouldn't do us any good to pretend it's not a worthwhile Citadel. There might be people in there we can save."

Not that Gideon had a particularly bleeding heart, but more numbers of people for the Old Gods was always useful.

It seemed that she didn't quite understand how the Outlanders ended up in Caido. Gideon didn't want to appear like he was ranting explanations at her, but...misunderstandings, in their organisation, were problematic. "Because they don't. It's not a lie. Every Outlander I've ever met seems genuinely shocked and upset when they arrive here, because they've been pulled away from their old life and into this one." As for some souls being inherently doomed (and yes, Gideon did follow her eyes to the lantern), he tilted his head in acceptance. "When it comes to abandoned, sure."

That's why I hold with all I have
That's why I hold

Luciana

cause it makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder

"So what? They still allowed it. Still elected to put an Abandoned in charge," Luciana responded, narrowing her eyes at Gideon.

Turning to face him, she rested one hand on the table and put the other on her hip. "I am not saying they cannot be competent under the right circumstances. Nor am I saying there aren't a few among them worthy of our time." She pressed her lips together. "I am saying, compared to Stormbreak, they are primitive and that those good people you seem concerned about have done nothing to root out the Abandoned or Ascended in their midst."

Drumming the fingers of her hand on the table she grimaced. "So the Ascended and Abandoned she brought here are beyond saving." Shrugging, she returned to the lanterns, staring at the crib. Sighing, she began to paint it, keeping her face turned away from him as she did.

it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter

GIDEON

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true

While he stood by his point, Luciana was right that Halo was freely allowing Ascended and Abandoned within it's walls. "Yeah. I try my best on my trips there - and to Torchline - to educate them. So many of them don't know their own history. Don't even know where their races came from." Gideon shook his head, sighing; he was sure that if more people in Caido knew their past, they wouldn't be dealing with the Ascended problem in the present. "When the time comes to choose a side for good, I hope most of them will come to their senses."

All he could do in response to her last comment was shrug helplessly. "I can't explain all of the God's choices. I wish I could tell people there was a chance for their salvation once they come here, but all I can do is tell what the Gods want. I do think if an Abandoned tries to live a good life...tries to serve the Gods...maybe they could rise above it. I don't know." It was never something he'd had to deal with, after all.

That's why I hold with all I have
That's why I hold

Luciana

cause it makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder

"And have your efforts born fruit? When you teach them history do they see the error of their ways?" Shaking her head, Luciana frowned at Gideon. "Somehow I doubt it."

She pursed her lips. "I don't have your faith. In people or otherwise." Resting her hands on her lanterns for just a moment, she gathered them up and returned them to where she'd hidden them, her work on them done for the moment.

Sighing, she turned away from him. "That's not what the gods tell us about Abandoned," she whispered. It was clearly meant more for herself than him. "Otherwise we wouldn't turn them to stone. We'd give them a chance to live." She glanced over at him, eyes glittering with unshed tears.

it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter