Aurelia
and that the world is always our fault
when we did nothing, how did we do wrong?
when we did nothing, how did we do wrong?
She watched him refill his glass and freeze for a moment. She pressed her lips together nervously, wondering if she had crossed an invisible line. Their budding friendship was still that - budding, new; there was still that chance that she could cross a line she didn't know was there. Well, she might've known it was there but - where exactly it was drawn remained a mystery.
She watched him carefully as he pulled out a cigarette from his drawer. But his body language wasn't that of someone who was angry or offended. So far, Sunjata had been amiable towards her. She couldn't imagine what it was like to see him upset and she certainly didn't want to make him relive his past. But the question was out and she still found that she wanted to know the answer. She was curious of the place called Korofi, where his sister remained with a doppelganger of a brother while the real him was forced to carve a living out in Caido. For several moments, the only thing to break the silence was the sound of Sunjata lighting his cigarette.
When he began, though, Aurelia let out a small breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. He explained that his father wanted him to be a smaller version of himself and she nodded, commenting quietly, "Like a prince would be," to show that she was following. He took a drag from his cigarette and Aurelia noticed that he still wouldn't look in her direction. She found that she understood why. She slowly looked away, too, after his somber laugh - trying to at least alleviate the pressure of making eye contact. She looked across the table, at its reflective glaze in the light. Her hand cupped her face, her balled up fist resting against the soft skin of her cheek.
"Damn," she said after he was done, glancing over at him as she did, "your dad really was an asshole." She looked away again, to a seat across from her. There was a pause from her this time but, she eventually replied, "I've dealt with a lot of assholes, but none like that. I mean, throwing your kid to the wolves and hoping they don't come out alive? I can't imagine what it must have been like to grow up with a father like that," she shook her head in disapproval. "My parents were angels in comparison. But that didn't exactly work out, either. After my dad died in the fire, my mom- my family basically fell apart. Things got so bad... and then they went from bad to worse," she moved her hand from her cheek, letting it fall in her lap, "living on the streets with my two younger sisters. We ran into the worst kinds of people... I mean, the part of the city I grew up in was... nobody cared about us down there. We were the workers that kept the machines running. That was our only value to the rest of the world," she scoffed and stood up to pour herself another drink, motioning towards the bottle as if to silently ask permission. If he gave her the go-ahead, she would go ahead, but first she met his gaze and said, "Don't get me wrong, Sunjata. This place... it's a far cry from that. It's better in many ways. I hated my world, I hated the people in it... I hate what it's made me become...and so did my mother. But I had them, and they had me, and that's all that mattered."
"Now... well..." she looked away.
She watched him carefully as he pulled out a cigarette from his drawer. But his body language wasn't that of someone who was angry or offended. So far, Sunjata had been amiable towards her. She couldn't imagine what it was like to see him upset and she certainly didn't want to make him relive his past. But the question was out and she still found that she wanted to know the answer. She was curious of the place called Korofi, where his sister remained with a doppelganger of a brother while the real him was forced to carve a living out in Caido. For several moments, the only thing to break the silence was the sound of Sunjata lighting his cigarette.
When he began, though, Aurelia let out a small breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. He explained that his father wanted him to be a smaller version of himself and she nodded, commenting quietly, "Like a prince would be," to show that she was following. He took a drag from his cigarette and Aurelia noticed that he still wouldn't look in her direction. She found that she understood why. She slowly looked away, too, after his somber laugh - trying to at least alleviate the pressure of making eye contact. She looked across the table, at its reflective glaze in the light. Her hand cupped her face, her balled up fist resting against the soft skin of her cheek.
"Damn," she said after he was done, glancing over at him as she did, "your dad really was an asshole." She looked away again, to a seat across from her. There was a pause from her this time but, she eventually replied, "I've dealt with a lot of assholes, but none like that. I mean, throwing your kid to the wolves and hoping they don't come out alive? I can't imagine what it must have been like to grow up with a father like that," she shook her head in disapproval. "My parents were angels in comparison. But that didn't exactly work out, either. After my dad died in the fire, my mom- my family basically fell apart. Things got so bad... and then they went from bad to worse," she moved her hand from her cheek, letting it fall in her lap, "living on the streets with my two younger sisters. We ran into the worst kinds of people... I mean, the part of the city I grew up in was... nobody cared about us down there. We were the workers that kept the machines running. That was our only value to the rest of the world," she scoffed and stood up to pour herself another drink, motioning towards the bottle as if to silently ask permission. If he gave her the go-ahead, she would go ahead, but first she met his gaze and said, "Don't get me wrong, Sunjata. This place... it's a far cry from that. It's better in many ways. I hated my world, I hated the people in it... I hate what it's made me become...and so did my mother. But I had them, and they had me, and that's all that mattered."
"Now... well..." she looked away.
and I've been thinking that when we thought
the world would break us, that we weren't wrong
the world would break us, that we weren't wrong
