Remi Taliesin, King of Wine Sandwiches

It will be the first of many letters, of that there is no doubt. It's obnoxiously sent, all red parchment and golden ink, and when Remi opens it, a shower of pressed petals will fall into his lap. From what kind of flower is impossible to tell, only that it's some exotic bloom from a place the Lullaby has not yet seen. Soon, perhaps, but not quite yet. Around the border of the letter, half a dozen doodles decorate the page, lovingly crafted in the Star's hand. There's Remi and Ronin holding hands outside their house in Torchline along the bottom of the parchment. And here, crawling up the left border, a Ronin gives a Remi a leg up to climb a tree. Tiny Sugars swoop overhead, and Remis march through paper with Mateos on their backs. Ronins, too, snooze the day away in Wishing Wagons, while Ianto tromps through undergrowth as a fox. And in the centre of it all? A single word. Hi. Really - did his husband expect anything else from him? ronypony it's always nice to make an impression

he said "i bet you don't remember me"

The letter finds the alchemist and it sends his heart right into the back of his throat making him simultaneously want to laugh, scream, and jump for joy. Filled with boyish mirth, for a long while Remi just stares at the two letters written in the center of the page, his jaw clenching and unclenching as his smile grows and grows.

Returned to the Star is an elaborately folded piece of paper. There are tabs to pull and wings that flutter and when the entire thing is eventually unfurled (the last bit of origami looking unmistakably like a penis), there is only one thing written:

Sorry, who's this?

THE ALCHEMIST

and i said, "only every other memory".

It wouldn't be fun if Ronin replied regularly, would it? This keeps things interesting. "Interesting". When the letter does arrive, Remi will find it as a tightly rolled scroll of parchment, the borders embellished with coppery ink forming the shapes of falling leaves. And as the alchemist unfurls the scroll, he'll find that it goes on, and on, and on, and on and on, and on. It's all blank. Except for the end - when he finally reaches the very end of the letter, he'll recognise the Star's script. Somehow, it looks a bit smug. Your secret admirer it reads. ronypony it's always nice to make an impression

he said "i bet you don't remember me"

As dramatic as that was, what a waste of paper. Don't you care at all about the environment?

I'll accept your apology in person. Don't worry—my husband is across the world, and won't catch us. Still, better hurry.

This is concluded with a hastily drawn heart (is it blood? dirt? sauce from that evening's meal?). And, faintly, should Ronin hold the letter up to the light, there is a water mark of a penis that subtly covers the entirety of the page.

THE ALCHEMIST

and i said, "only every other memory".