From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
It's like walking beneath the warmest sun, to awaken like this. After nightmares, Finn is accustomed to coming back to consciousness with a start. It's never pleasant and rarely without consequence - but right now? He stirs as if he's had the deepest and most restful sleep of his life, and he has a feeling that this is only in part due to the drugs that are inevitably still clinging to his veins like treacle.
Still, his eyes open slowly, and he has to resist the urge to draw his blankets over him and roll onto his side for another snooze. He really wants to, in fact, sleep trying to reclaim him with dozy protests and promises of comfort and darkness and rest. It's with the greatest amount of reluctance that he resists, and that's only because he's very aware, suddenly, that he's in the medical clinic. In this bed, again - the one he'd been in when he'd been sick.
With a soft groan, Finn clumsily rubs at his eyes, like he can imagine himself elsewhere.
Ronin has been given what they call a mild sedative - enough to get him drowsy enough that he might doze off and slip into Finn Rosencrantz's dreams. Unlike his husband, he is not blessed with the ability to instantly induce slumber in himself and others. On the contrary, Ronin's skill lies in the opposite direction; it's only shortly after the Spyglass comes around that Ronin awakens too.
He's been settled in a comfortable chair next to Finn, his hand resting gently on the other man's arm, and it's with a mightly yawn and a stretch that he sits himself up. "Mm... welcome back," he mumbles to the Spyglass, squinting around at the clinic. He'll probably be drowsy for the rest of the day, but it's a small price to pay to bring someone out of a coma.
You've been waiting. Pacing. It isn't often that you're so riled and animated, but today wasn't a normal day. From finding Finn unconscious, nearly drowning in his own vomit to having Ronin of all people say that he could tug the Spyglass out of a coma that even your unicorn magic couldn't heal, was all nearly too much.
That all you can do is watch over these two men as they dream, wondering if they'll ever open their eyes again, has you more on edge than just about anything from your past that you can imagine. You would trade all the shitty orgasms, all the terrible dates, all the parental disappointment and nights spent studying and cramming for exams, if only so that this would end. Unsure who you should be rooting for—Ronin to make this work, or Finn to let him—you wring your hands, and pace.
As Finn groggily begins to move, you're instantly at his side. "Finn?" You breathe, instantly putting a hand on his forehead to check his temperature. Your eyes move across his chest to where Ronin is coming around as well, relief spilling from your lips in an awkward gasp that becomes a laugh. "Hey, hey." You whisper sweetly to Finn, dark eyes full of joy and concern. "You're in the clinic. You're okay."
Glancing at Ronin, you raise your brows, trying to communicate a number of things in one look: are you okay? Is he? Thank you, and of course, what the fuck.
Guilt and shame creep upon him slowly and insidiously; even awkward as he is, there's no mistaking the panic and worry and relief in a voice he has come to recognise all too well, and Finn lets his hand slip away from his eyes so he can peer across at Tobi, struggling to focus on her but doing his best. "What happened to me...?" He starts out not remembering the answer to it, before bits and pieces start to come back, and he groans and turns his face away from her, like he doesn't know how to react to it.
"I messed up, Tobi," he mutters. "Badly, this time." It's all he seems to do, struggling and blundering his way from one mishap to the next, and there's just no end to it. Something dark curls in the pit of his stomach, something that wants a voice but that Finn won't allow, so he merely flicks his stormy eyes up to the man awakening beside him and mumbles a thank you before he forgets.
It's good to hear the other man speak, proving he really is through the worst of whatever has happened since Ronin was called to help. The Star is sitting up properly by now, stretching and ruffling a hand through dark hair that has no chance of falling neatly after a nap as deep as that one. Blinking dozily across at Tobi, he offers her a gentle smile in response to her somewhat flustered glance his way.
"Magic," he explains, his tone warm and still riddled with drowsiness. "He's out of it now - I reckon the rest is up to you, doc." Tipping her a wink, Ronin rises to his feet with another yawn that he hides behind his hand. "I'll leave you to it. You know where to find me if you want to talk later, or if something else happens?" He assumes it will be fine, and he knows better than to crowd someone not long conscious.
Your heart is in your throat just now, and it isn't the sort of state you're used to dealing with. It makes your mind slow and your reactions clumsy. So as Ronin explains, you find yourself just blinking stupidly at him, only really starting as he stands. "No, you...I..." He should have a check up, surely? You should really be doing something for him, but Finn needs your attention right now, and as good as Ronin looks (no, that is not you hitting on him, that's your medical opinion), he can probably do without you longer than Finn can. "I'll swing by in a few hours." You say with a bit more confidence, as your attention turns fully to Finn.
We all make mistakes, another doctor might have said. A friend might have said. But as much as you adore Finn, you're his doctor before you're anything else, and yes he has messed up badly this time.
Waiting until Ronin and the other nurses are out of the room, biding your time by offering Finn a glass of water, you sit on the edge of his bed offering him a worried stare. "The pills Falke prescribed were strong. I'm sure you knew that. When they found you you'd taken half a dozen." You pause, the air growing heavy around you. "Your normal dose is half a pill. One of things are really bad."
Was it intentional? If Finn can't read between the lines you'll have to properly ask, but gods if you don't hope he'll come right out with it.
The other man leaves and Finn is sure he should be offering something more than a paltry thank you, but the gears in his mind are rusted through with drugs that are yet to wear off, and so he can only watch him go with a memory of woods and waterfalls to remind him about why he was there in the first place. And no sooner has he left than he wishes Ronin had stayed, because facing Tobi is a much more difficult thing to do. Not because of any decisions he might have made or not made (and that will come, he imagines, in time) but because of a frustrating blankness where there should be clarity.
"I know everything there is to know about them," he says in a rough, sad voice. "I'm careful. I'm always careful..." He shakes his head, curiously helpless when it comes to trying to provide Tobi with answers. "I don't remember taking them," he whispers, honesty making him raw. "Only that it had been... days. And I was tired. I was in my office, that's... the last I remember."
With a shaky sort of sigh, he finally turns back to Tobi. "Did I really do this?"
You can hear your heart beating—feel it, actually—and you make sure to take deep and calming breaths as Finn explains. It will do neither of you any good if you're riled and wound up in this moment. If ever there was a time for you to be the calm and level-headed one, it's now.
Finn's voice is such that it makes you want to reach out and stroke his cheek, or to push his curls away from his forehead. But the Spyglass isn't a boy, nor is he some pet to be fussed over. He's a man, your friend, and your patient. You also are aware that physical acts of compassion aren't necessarily in Finn's wheelhouse, instinctive though they might be.
"The evidence suggests yes." You reply frankly, meeting his stormy blue gaze. "But I suppose if you don't remember, or don't know, it's the sort of thing Falke will likely be able to help you with." Though you try to hide it, this is somewhat sadly said. You wish you could help Finn, medically speaking. Or at least, you wish you could understand. But anatomy is what you know. The brain is a mystery to you, which makes Finn large and part a mystery as well.
"So..you were working, you took a pill to help you sleep, and then you were here? Is that all you remember?"
12-06-2020, 11:49 PM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2020, 11:49 PM by Finn.)
sleep doesn't help if it's your soul that's tired
Those sorts of things aren't really part of Finn's natural state; but perhaps a brush with what he's starting to realise was something far more serious than anticipated makes him crave the security, the sense of being anchored to something. So it's with a quiet frown and with his gaze on the end of the bed that he reaches suddenly for Tobi's hand, his jaw feathering as he digests this new information.
"It's all I remember about... here," he says slowly. "I was dreaming, about a place I've never been. I was - it was..." He shivers. "It felt like a nightmare. Both Remi and Ronin Taliesin were there. I followed the Star, the light... and that's how I woke up." Of course, much as Finn knows and has researched the demigods and their abilities, this one in particular is very subtle and difficult to pin down. He hadn't thought any of his nightmares involving Remi were real, given that he'd been feverish at the time. But now?
It would be wrong to ignore what has happened.
It would also be wrong to make too big a deal about it.
Touch is not a means of communication that Finn is fond of, you know this. That he endures your poking and prodding is one thing. That he allows your friendly nudges and such is another. But this? This is something delicate it altogether new. It horrifies you, rather than brings you joy: you can only imagine the levels of darkness Finn feels are closing in around him, that he's coming so far out of his comfort zone for help. Rather than making a big deal of it, you simply curl your long fingers around his and give a simple squeeze of acknowledgement. You will always be a safe space for the Spyglass, so long as there is air in your lungs.
Frowning slightly as he mentions Remi—that's the one Falke had mentioned he'd become slightly obsessed with—you nod, happy to supplement the information that Finn's might no doubt craves. "I'm not sure about Remi, but I know that Ronin can enter dreams. It's why he was brought to you. His magic allows him to enter even the deepest states of unconsciousness and act as a guide back out." You think about continuing your explanation, but given that it involves Ronin falling asleep touching Finn, you think perhaps the Spyglass's mind isn't quite ready for that level of detail.
He settles in a way that surprises no one more than himself, at the cool and gentle touch of another person. Not another person though, not really - it's one specific person, and that's the only reason the option is available in the first place. Tobi acts as his tether, readily and without remark, and it's not something that Finn thinks he has the words to thank her with. Sitting quietly to listen to her explanation, he nods as things seem to fall into place.
"They acted as if it were normal, for them," he mumbles, muddling through it for no other reason than because he needs to make sense of it to let it go again. "Demigod magic. Perhaps they have similar abilities...?" If so, Remi's are not for guiding and saving people; of that Finn is uncannily certain.
A beat of silence, and the Spyglass is glancing back at Tobi again. "Would you keep the medicine for me?" he asks. "I don't think I should have it with me. If I need it, I can take it under your supervision. I..." He bites the inside of his cheek. "I don't trust myself anymore, Tobi."
It means too much to you to show, in both positive and devasting ways, and so you merely keep your dark gaze trained on Finn's, offering him your easy camaraderie and friendship as you always have. Nothing has changed, even if everything has.
"I think they are...something else, altogether." You say with a skeptical frown as if divulging a deep secret. Much as you like Ronin, there's something..entitled about how they act, these demigods. "I'm glad he could help you though." You swallow, your smile falling away. You lean forward, though simultaneously your eyes shift toward Finn's pillow, trading proximity for eye contact. "It worries me, all that they can do." Your words are a whisper, and the fear you feel isn't veiled at all, even as you sit up straight that you might take back eye contact.
"Make you a deal. I'll trade you pills for ball throws. You can pop down to my apartment or the clinic, and toss the ball for me on the walk back up to the attic. It'll be good exercise for us both." You reply brightly. No doubt Finn will know exactly what you're doing—making it seem as if his request is happily paired with some need of yours as well—but you don't care. Besides, you really do want more balls in your life.
12-07-2020, 02:05 PM (This post was last modified: 12-07-2020, 02:05 PM by Finn.)
sleep doesn't help if it's your soul that's tired
Finn hums out a long sigh, still dozy, still trying to avoid the tendrils of sleep that cling to him and want to pull him back beneath the surface of consciousness. "It worries me too," he admits, perhaps for the first time, a frown drawing his brows together and his fingers gently squeezing against Tobi's. "Not one of them is the same, and it... I don't know whether or not we are going to come out better for it or worse. Don't tell Gideon that, though."
A smile flickers across his face and fades again just as quickly, Finn's gaze slipping away from Tobi's so he can focus on the bland white of the walls beyond the bed. He relaxes a bit, to hear her phrase his request back at him in this way, the gesture appreciated even if yes, he does know exactly what she's doing. "It's a deal," he agrees, closing his eyes again at last. "Whatever happened... it wasn't on purpose, Tobi. You believe me, right?"
"My lips are sealed." You agree with a conspiratorial wink, miming zipping your lips closed and tossing away the key. "They all seem so...unchecked." You add a touch hesitantly, glancing over your shoulder as if expecting Cian to come in at any moment and haul you away for your lack of confidence.
Finn's question has your stomach turning to knots, and it's only thanks to years of tempering your emotions around patients that you don't totally wilt at his side. "I don't want to sound like Falke, but...I think it all depends on what you mean by on purpose." You reply, your fingers unconsciously roaming over the joints of Finn's hand, once shattered nearly beyond repair. "I think the you talking to me right now didn't mean for it to happen, but that doesn't mean another part of you didn't. Or..." You bite the inside of your cheek, frowning suddenly at Finn.
