may the bridges i have burned light my way back home

i'll love you till the day i die, even if it's just a bold face hell of a pretty lie

Nate’s been taking more and more trips to the Grounds, which is fine. He understands what the Ascended has to do here. But he doesn’t particularly like the idea of remaining alone and waiting and waiting for his return. So on this trip, he comes with. And he comes with a purpose. A hope to not make Nate worry about him like he might if he saw Vai again in Torchline.

So he comes with the medicine he’s been taking, to try and help aid his sleep, even if he still hasn’t slept much as of late – in between everything weighing on both his mind and his shoulders. Sleep had been fitful, a toss and turn every night until the morning light rouses him and he gives up. Again and again.

He opens the door with a quiet knock, slipping into the vaguely familiar area and searching the dark for anyone that might be familiar to him – hoping to gods for a familiar face. “Isla?” He calls out quietly, announcing his arrival and simultaneously hoping to keep things down low.

SUNJATA

Isla take your medicine "Just a moment!" The infirmary is a clean, light and tranquil place, even at dusk, even when the majority of the people who set foot within its doors have the ability to see in the dark perfectly well. Isla has been organising the stock room so it's just so, refilling her mixes of herbs at the same time. She's wiping her hands clean as she emerges into the waiting area where she sees Sunjata (and really, he's very difficult to miss), her expression blooming into a smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure of the Governor of Torchline?" she asks, glancing around him automatically to see if she can catch sight of Nate. And when there's no sign of her fellow doctor, something like concern flashes across her face. "Is everything alright?"

i'll love you till the day i die, even if it's just a bold face hell of a pretty lie

He’d be lying if said he wasn’t relieved at hearing her voice echo through the infirmary. So he closes the door softly behind him, stepping in and glancing around at the cleanliness and the calming atmosphere. It was a soft, nice addition to an otherwise harsh environment that the Grounds offered. But she soon appears and Sunjata can’t help the softer smile (even if it’s tired as hell) from blooming across his face in response.

“Everything’s fine. I decided to visit while Nate visited.” He offers in the hopes of relieving whatever worries she might have had. “I guess this is just asking for a third opinion on some things.” Between Nate and Vai, perhaps a new fresh set of eyes would be beneficial. “Is there a room we could talk a bit more privately?” This request is made with ease – wanting his issues to be as much of a secret as possible regardless of whether he was in the Grounds or Torchline.

SUNJATA

Isla take your medicine "Oh! I see. I wonder if you can see Nate's handiwork on this place." Isla gestures around at the clinic waiting room, prepared to give him a small tour until he mentions a third opinion. Tilting her head at him, Isla is already backing up towards the infirmary proper, ready to gesture him inside. "Of course," she says. "Follow me, we'll go to speak in my office. It isn't the same as one of the medical bays, but it's more private." Not that there are many people in the clinic any way; even so, Isla leads him through the rows of beds and curtained off areas until they come to a small door which opens into a small office space. There is a desk and a couple of chairs, and shelves lined with books and files. Gesturing for him to sit, Isla moves to perch against the table. "What can I help with?"

i'll love you till the day i die, even if it's just a bold face hell of a pretty lie

Her question of whether he can see Nate’s handiwork in here has him casting a glance around once more while he explains the reason for his visit. He can’t particularly tell, a few things he thinks Nate might have had a hand in – like the things on the higher shelves or organizing, but he keeps those thoughts to himself as she guides him back toward the private room. “That would be great, thanks.” A breath of relief.

Even if there weren’t that many people around, Sunjata wasn’t much inclined to have his issues laid out in the open. If he had people in all the regions except the Greatwood, who’s to say he’s the only one? Or perhaps he’s just paranoid of it all?

Regardless, he takes the seat offered – steel gaze lifting to meet her face briefly as she perches against the table and Sunjata leans back ever so slightly, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “So, I’m having trouble sleeping. Started with visions and now it’s… I guess, paranoia, but. I got something before to try and help me sleep but things have seemed to start getting worse.” His brows pinch together briefly as he considers it, reaching into his pocket to bring the retrieved bottle. “I’m having trouble remembering things now too? Sometimes I think I’ll be heading in the right direction to get home and end up somewhere else.” His voice drifts quieter here, as if he hasn’t admitted it to himself yet let alone another person.

But it proves as all the more reason to not go to Nate about it.

He picks up the bottle and reaches out to hand it to her should she wish to inspect it.

SUNJATA

Isla take your medicine It's even quieter in the office, the air cool and the lights dim - Isla doesn't have to consider other people back here, and so it's made to be comfortable to her tastes. She's about to ask if Sunjata would like her to light a lantern, in fact, when the Flood begins to speak, and she falls quiet to give him the time he needs to explain. Golden brows furrow together as he lists his symptoms, and absently she retrieves a scrap of parchment and a pencil from behind her so she can jot a few things down. If anything he says concerns her, Isla is a picture perfect professional, and she hums a note of gratitude as she accepts the proferred bottle. "When was the last time you took some of this?" she asks him, slipping down from the desk so she can hold up the medicine and gaze at the powder properly. "It may be as simple as a bad reaction to the sleeping draught. I don't suppose you know what you were given?" she asks. Glancing back to Sunjata, Isla summons a smile for him. "If you had time, I would ask if you would take some so I might be able to monitor you. But that isn't necessary, it is just a thought."

i'll love you till the day i die, even if it's just a bold face hell of a pretty lie

She doesn’t need to light a lantern, Sunjata’s ability to shift his eyes to something else that sees easier in the dark is something he’s grown accustomed to. And it’s what he does before he begins to divulge the information, the way he’s been feeling, the results of what he’s taken and what it was supposed to do. And he’s silent for the most part when she jots down the notes, when she takes the bottle and peers at it. “A few days ago.” He’s tried to remember taking it, but it was difficult as of late when things have gotten so much worse.

“I…” He trails off, brows furrowing as he tries to remember what Vai had said for him to take – but he can’t remember. That was briefly before he’d had a vision and Nate had dislocated his jaw. It was briefly before a lot of things happened after that. “I don’t remember.” He finally concedes, offering her an apologetic smile.

At her question, though, he nods in understanding. The VlamVloed isn’t far from here, it’s where they stay when they come to the Grounds anyway. If it messed with him before he was able to sleep it off he’s sure he’d be able to find his way back eventually until it managed to wear itself off. “I have time if you think it might help.” Nate’s otherwise occupied, however, and at least it would kill time.

SUNJATA

Isla take your medicine A few days ago. That gets jotted down as well. "And how do you feel now? Are you still having difficulty remembering things even though it's been a few days?" she asks, giving the bottle a little shake and seeming to be performing some mental acrobatics regarding what the medicine could be. "It's alright." She smiles, releasing him from the obligation of remembering something he can't grasp. He agrees to stay, though, and she can't deny the way interest and curiosity stirs in her. "As long as it isn't a hindrance for you, I do think it would help." Isla nods and heads towards the office door. "Would you like to use one of the beds in the infirmary? I may need to ask you some more questions, but you won't be expected to divulge any more personal details. Or, if you would feel more comfortable, we can stay here." There is a small fireplace in the back of the office that hasn't been lit in a long while, and a more comfortable couple of chairs that he could relax in. "It doesn't bother me either way. I'll just need to collect some equipment." She hands him the bottle back. "How do you normally take the medicine?"

i'll love you till the day i die, even if it's just a bold face hell of a pretty lie

“I feel fine now, but I still have trouble remembering things.” He offers quietly, thoughtfully – the amount of notes kept in his front pocket of his jacket grows longer by the day it feels like. And so he watches, idly, while she messes with the bottle, as she tells him it’s okay that he doesn’t remember. He finds it relatively soothing, all things considered.

The offer to stay is welcomed, however, and he’s willing to try anything when it comes to trying to figure out what exactly was the problem. “Here is fine.” He says, letting his gaze dance around the office to the fireplace, to the two chairs that seemed fine enough. Besides, he’s been through enough spirals to know that it isn’t something he wants visible. He knows that him staying awake for it could provide much more than either of them are anticipating.

Her question as she hands the bottle back is met with him recalling what it was he did with it. “A pinch in some whiskey.” He explains, steel gaze drifting from the bottle back toward her face. “Usually I just take a shot with it mixed in and go to bed.” Whether he stays asleep or the nightmares reach out to get him, though, is another story.

“I can take it however you need me to.” He offers her as well – somehow wondering if it was worse or better to take it with something else.

SUNJATA

Isla take your medicine Here it is, then. Isla gestures for Sunjata to go and get comfortable in one of the chairs - in the meantime, she takes the parchment and pencil and moves to set it down on a small table that sits between the two seats. She also lights a couple more lanterns, setting them on the mantelpiece over the fireplace - lighting it isn't worth the risk for her, so this will have to do. "Perhaps we'll try it with just plain water," she suggests to the Flood. "It could be that all this time, it's just been a reaction to the alcohol." She somehow doubts it, but there is always hope. Leaving Sunjata to settle himself, the medic moves back out into the infirmary. She puts up a notice to say she is currently occupied and to knock the office door if it is urgent, then gathers a clean blanket and pillow from the store room (in case he does fall asleep), a jug of water and a glass, and a few bits of medical equipment so she can monitor him and take a proper sample of the drug. Then Isla is back, smiling warmly and mixing him a small glass of water with a pinch of medicine, offering it out with the blanket and pillow. "How long does it normally take to have an effect?" she asks.

i'll love you till the day i die, even if it's just a bold face hell of a pretty lie

It doesn’t bother him that the fire isn’t lit. The lanterns more than enough to illuminate the space. So he settles into the chair offered, kept to himself for a fair amount of time until she disappears and reappears, his long legs stretching out in front of him toward the empty fireplace, his gaze peering back to her as she begins to mix it up. Water was fine, was probably better honestly but he doesn’t know. He simply just does what he’s told.

The blanket and pillows are offered and he feels strange reaching out for them, almost as if it’s bringing back a long forgotten memory of being young, having to stay in the hospital for some issue he hadn’t given himself. But he shrugs out of his jacket, to wrap himself with the blanket and to stuff the pillow against the backrest of the chair. He takes the water next, downing it as he usually did because the taste wasn’t something he ever looked forward to. This, he sets on the side table as well. “About half an hour, I think? I’m typically asleep in that time.” He just never stays asleep.

SUNJATA

Isla take your medicine Half an hour sounds about right, Isla nodding to him in understanding and settling herself in the chair opposite while he gets himself comfortable. "We shouldn't be disturbed," she assures him. "In a best case scenario, you fall asleep and I monitor you until you wake up with no adverse effects, and it turns out the alcohol was having an adverse reaction with you," she says. She makes no mention of worst case. "In the meantime, if you don't mind, I'm going to flesh out all that I've written here into some more comprehensive notes, in case I need to refer back to them. I'll also take a sample of the medicine to examine later." Smiling across to Sunjata in that way that doctors do, Isla promptly stops paying attention to him (not really, of course) and turns her focus down to the papers in her lap. The soft sound of her writing fills the air, a quiet lullaby in an even quieter space.

i'll love you till the day i die, even if it's just a bold face hell of a pretty lie

Her confirmation at not being disturbed does alleviate some worries harbored deep within him, and he offers her an easy nod as she explains what she plans on doing, what the best case scenario is, unknown to him what the worst case scenario was. Typically Nate let him know those, too, due to the nature of everything that’s happened to him previously. But he trusts Isla, enough that he doesn’t think things would go too far south before it could be stopped. At least, he hopes. “Sounds good.” He assures her, waiting, letting his gaze roam along the interior of the room, settled into the blankets comfortably.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but the sound of her writing fills the air in a nostalgic sense, one that has him so focused suddenly on it that when there’s a knock at the door (one only he can hear) his gaze darts to her. Nothing seems to happen, however, and he pulls his gaze away. A few more minutes go by and a louder knock occurs, something that demands attention, something that demands that if the door doesn’t open it would be taken down. His heartbeat races and his head swings back to the door, trying to discern if there’s anything behind it. “Is there someone at the door?” He asks quietly, as if he’s worried that if he speaks too loud the other side of the door might hear him, might hear that he hasn’t gotten up to open the door.

SUNJATA

Isla take your medicine Honestly, the only reason that Sunjata doesn't get the worst case scenario is because Isla hasn't figured it out yet. She and Nate are alike in a lot of ways, the Flood will come to realise, not least in their thirst for knowledge and their occasionally abrasive pragmatism. And so she leaves him to relax and settle in, jotting out more expansive notes about his symptoms, the length of time he's been experiencing the issues, and so on, and in truth Isla thinks he might have fallen asleep when he suddenly speaks up. "The door?" she repeats, glancing over to the ring of rectangular light which marks the outline of the closed doorway into the (much more illuminated) infirmary beyond. "No, there isn't anyone there," she assures him, gently settling down her notes - however much she wants to write down all that he's experiencing - and watching him carefully. "Did you hear something, Sunjata?"