bells are ringing like a panic in my head
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
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#1
I want to bring my fear, loathing, and delusions to a pour
I want to tip panic and reason into my god-fearing mouth
Worry has all but consumed Nate recently, lingering in the back of his mind like a toxic cloud, it's insidious fingers creeping into everything, keying up a kind of frantic paranoia he hasn't felt in... well, not as long as he would have preferred. Worry about Sunjata even more so, with everything going on, with the lack of breathing space they've had recently. With the appointment he'd had with Isla. With the note that had come from Isla.

They're already in the Grounds, obviously, and the clinic isn't far from the VlamVloed. Nate makes his way over as soon as Sunjata is asleep, safe behind locked doors. Walking into the building with an unearned sense of familiarity, Nate lets himself into the back, knocking on Isla's office door more to announce himself than anything else. "You wanted to see me?"

He is a taut line of tension, from the way his hands sit balled at his sides to the tilt of his head, like he's expecting someone, something to creep up on him. It's a far cry from the almost good mood he'd been in when they'd been setting up the infirmary again.
NATE
Isla Lockwood
the Remedy
Medic

Age: 32 | Height: 5'7 | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 28 - Luck: 26 - Int:
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#2

It's true that Isla has included a letter to Nate in with the medicine that she has given to Sunjata. The letter contains, along with instructions regarding the sedative and a list of its ingredients, a request that her fellow doctor comes to see her when he next gets the opportunity. And call it a hunch, but when Sunjata goes home to the VlamVloed, Isla doesn't leave the infirmary. She cleans up, checks her overnight patients, and returns to her office.

When Nate knocks, she's staring at the dying embers in one of the lanterns, the medic rising to her feet to get the door. "I did." Her smile doesn't reach her eyes, not quite, and she steps aside to let him in. "I am sure you can guess why. I've something I'd like to share with you, but if you've got questions first, I'm happy to answer."

She leads him, not to the desk where she's been working, but to the two comfortable chairs before an unlit fireplace. Isla basically lives in this office now, and she doesn't even mind it. "How are you?"

ISLA
when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
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MP: 0
#3
I want to bring my fear, loathing, and delusions to a pour
I want to tip panic and reason into my god-fearing mouth
That there is a ghost of the same kind of worry in Isla as he feels soothes some part of Nate. It justifies the worry. "I have a lot of questions. I have the feeling letting you explain first will answer a good amount of them." It's code, offered out surprisingly diplomatically considering the tight twist Nate is in.

It would almost be better to keep standing, or to move to the desk. It would be... professional, or something. Less like he's hearing a diagnosis he's dreading second hand, again. But he manages to force a sharp grin to his face, manages to sit and fold his hands in his lap and look up at Isla. "I've been better, honestly." A hand lifts, gesturing towards her, a single brow quirking in the silent return of the pleasantry.
NATE
Isla Lockwood
the Remedy
Medic

Age: 32 | Height: 5'7 | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 28 - Luck: 26 - Int:
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#4

"Oh, I'm quite alright," Isla advises Nate with a soft smile, as if he needn't have bothered asking, and she sits with him and stays, for a moment, in that strange dichotomy of doctor and patient, before it cracks a bit. She relaxes in her seat and rubs at her eyes. "You do not have to put on a face for me, Nate," she assures him, before reaching for the file on the table, picking it up and offering it out to him.

"Sunjata came to me for a second - third, really - opinion about the sleeping medicine he'd been given. I took a list of his symptoms, the events leading up to and since he began taking it. And then I had him take some in my presence, so I might see if he had a reaction. Everything I've just said is in the file there, as well as... well. I'll let you read it." Isla gestures for him to go ahead, whenever he's ready.

Within, as well as the report the medic has just given, Nate will find mismatched sketches of things Sunjata thinks he has drawn - a foyer covered in blood, except it's just abstract lines, really - and all that he said and remembered during his time under the influence of the 'sleeping draught'. There's also Isla's analysis of the drug.

"I ran some tests," she says softly. "As it turns out, your husband has been dosing himself with a very potent psychadelic every night. It can cause severe audio-visual hallucinations, memory loss, a fever, among other things."

ISLA
when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
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#5
I want to bring my fear, loathing, and delusions to a pour
I want to tip panic and reason into my god-fearing mouth
The sharp grin doesn’t move, even as he swallows, carefully measured out the honesty he can afford to add to the words. ”If I drop it now, I’m not sure I would be able to pick it up again.” And that wouldn’t do, would it? Too much vulnerability, too many chances to be hurt, to invite pain on others.

Nate accepts the file without letting his mismatched gaze drop from Isla, his thumb leafing along the edge automatically. It stays closed, his fellow doctor introducing it, her words somehow gentler than seeing everything in stark ink, something Nate will realize when he lets the file fall open on his lap, finally dropping his gaze.

Brows pinched together tightly as he reads, the deep furrow slashed across his face seeming deeper, sharper as his features darken. The drawing is pulled out, as if seeing it alone will help the lines make sense, the analysis getting the same treatment. ”I should have noticed something.” Barely more than a whisper, Nate finally slips, the weak grin dropping away completely, replaced by a clenched jaw and pursed lips.

Anger flickers across his face first, before Nate closes his eyes, tamping himself down just to stay in control. He pulls in a deep, useless breath, then looks up at Isla again. ”How does something like this even happen?” It’s an unfair question, she has as many answers as he does, so he moves on almost immediately. ”What did you give him?” A hand reaches into his jacket, pulls out the envelope that had held the invitation, that still holds the pre measured doses of medication.
NATE
Isla Lockwood
the Remedy
Medic

Age: 32 | Height: 5'7 | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 28 - Luck: 26 - Int:
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#6

"Understandable," Isla murmurs, pressing no further and keeping, then, to the facts of the matter as she had observed them. It's a promise to maintain professional that cracks no sooner than Nate opens the file; the medic's smile softens a little, and she rises to her feet to fetch the ingredients that make up the sedative. Herbs from the woodland, mostly, ground to a fine powder and mixed in with shavings of peppermint bark for taste. (And to differentiate it from other medicines out there).

"And what would you have noticed?" Isla asks. "He was taking it before sleeping. From his descriptions, the drug was primarily in his system when he was unconscious. I'm unsure what you would have seen." It's an attempt to soothe the guilt, though from her own experiences, nothing will manage that. Not for a medical practitioner.

"Here is everything I put into the sedative. The ingredients and measurements are listed as well. As for how it happened... I don't know, Nate. Sunjata said he got it from your clinic. He slept when he was first given it, and then picked it up and left afterwards."

ISLA
when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
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#7
I want to bring my fear, loathing, and delusions to a pour
I want to tip panic and reason into my god-fearing mouth
There’s the slightest easing, a dip of relief tension reliving in Nate’s shoulders at Isla’s understanding, her focus. While he reads over her notes, she stands, a moments distraction that is not repeated when she returns, though by that point Nate is finished, is digesting what she’d observed, and sinking further into his own selfish hole.

”Something was off, and I... I did notice, I just didn’t...” He didn’t look into it, why? He’d... assumed, and this had happened, and if he tore himself to shreds over it it still wouldn’t feel like penance enough. ”I just assumed if it came from Vai it was fine, and I still don’t understand it.” A weak spark of anger accompanies the words, snuffed out almost immediately.

Weariness takes over his features, the space behind his eyes instead, even infecting his voice when he speaks. ”Thank you, I...” I have no way to repay this. ”Is there anything I should keep an eye out for, beyond the obvious? Any kind of withdrawal?”
NATE
Isla Lockwood
the Remedy
Medic

Age: 32 | Height: 5'7 | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 28 - Luck: 26 - Int:
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#8

"I wouldn't know where anyone could have gotten the substance that Sunjata was taking," Isla admits. "There were ingredients I could identify, but none that I know of from the Grounds. Perhaps it is worth asking Vai? I don't understand how such an error could occur." Which does not bode well for the medic in question, but at the same time, what's done is done. Having given Nate all the information she can, Isla takes her seat once more and offers her fellow doctor a smile that seems more open for its sadness and its shared knowledge.

"You cannot change what happened," she reminds him gently. "Berating yourself over it will only feed bad judgement calls in future. There is nothing to be done for what was, but you can certainly affect what will be."

Like withdrawal symptoms, or other things to watch out for. Isla nods, reaching out for some spare parchment to write upon. "I would not be surprised if he seems to get better in some ways but worse in others, at first. He will be getting some sleep now, at least. But don't be alarmed if some visions or hallucinations persist. His unconscious is trying to unpack a lot of things, from my observations."

ISLA
when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
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Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
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#9
I want to bring my fear, loathing, and delusions to a pour
I want to tip panic and reason into my god-fearing mouth
Nothing from the Grounds raised a strange, slow alarm in Nate’s head, his eyes narrowing the more he picked at the words. ”I don’t suppose you’d know if it could be things found in the Greatwoods, would you?” It’s a very, very long shot, but if Isla did somehow know, it shifted the questions, the uncertainty blooming in him.

A sigh deeper than should be possible leaves Nate as he nods to her words. ”You’re right. I know you are.” It doesn’t change the way he feels though, the regret gnawing away at him. ”So i should just keep an eye on him then?” That should be simple enough. though he’d already failed at it once

”I,” Nate can’t put his finger on why there is a note of guilt in his voice this time, or why his brows pinch with indignation, ”I know. We’re... working on it. Did...” Hesitating and letting his eyes fall away from Isla, the doctor seems to consider something, make some quick measurement in his mind. ”Did he say anything I should... maybe help with?”
NATE
Isla Lockwood
the Remedy
Medic

Age: 32 | Height: 5'7 | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 26 - Endr: 28 - Luck: 26 - Int:
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#10

The Greatwood? Isla raises her eyebrows, the medic giving the possibility some weighty consideration. "I was never able to explore the Greatwood very much," she confesses. "I suppose you would be able to find those ingredients in the warmer seasons, though you'd have to dry them out quite quickly for them to retain any potency... those kinds of ingredients favour warm and damp areas," she explains. Which isn't to say yes or no, all in all.

Smiling gently, she nods to her fellow doctor. "That's all we can do, sometimes," she murmurs. "Keep an eye on him, and if you need anything or if you have any concerns, I'm always here as an extra pair of eyes. I also gave Sunjata a key to this office. I know he is feeling a little on edge, so I thought a place away from Torchline that only a few people know about might help him."

As for the rest? Isla shrugs. "There's a lot of guilt about what happened to the girl he was with, back in his home. A lot of unresolved fear about his father. I would be careful though, Nate. Be his husband, not his doctor."

ISLA
when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#11
I want to bring my fear, loathing, and delusions to a pour
I want to tip panic and reason into my god-fearing mouth
Warm and damp. Nate let’s his mind run, though it doesn’t get anywhere, at least, not anywhere useful. The Greatwood seems less likely, when there’s the far more obvious jungle right there, when he wants to put faith in Vai. But it offers no easier solution either, no shadow to point a finger after.

A bitter sentiment to swallow, that he can’t do more. It won’t do anything to stop him from trying, from ramming his head against the wall, but it’s good to know, in some way. ”Thank you.” Gratitude falls from his lips and surprises him, Nate utterly unsure what else he can even say. Try as he might, this ain’t something he can carry alone, not when he’s already stretched so thin.

It looks for a moment, like something might spill out between Nate’s lips, some slippery truth, but he swallows it at the last moment, and huffs out a quiet laugh. ”I always am.” Guilty eyes find Isla again, and if she’s quick, she’ll see something in them shutter, compartmentalizing and stuffing away emotions he should probably be talking about. ”I appreciate the second opinion, Isla.” Nate rises slowly, and reaches out to clasp her hand tightly, before stepping out into the night again, abuzz with paranoia and a whole new kind of stress.

Done
NATE


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