Ask Connie Fidence
Anon Advice Column
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
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#1
Do you need advice?

Help with life's little problems? Things that play on your mind yet are too insignificant and mortal to take to the Gods? Want to know how to flirt between horrible disasters? Well, do not fear - Connie Fidence is here!

With a wealth of experiences and life under my belt, I am ready to take on the issues of all of Caido. Simply leave your problem in a note - anonymous or not, it's up to you! - and pin to your local notice board. As if by magic, advice will be posted each week to those same Notice Boards for you! See what the people around you worry about and find answers to your questions!

All my love,
I cannot wait for your questions,

Connie

--
OOC note: Post in this thread with the NPC acct to ask an anonymous question, and the mysterious Connie Fidence will answer you.


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#2
Hey Connie

My friends are stuck in Halo until Flowerbirth, and on top of that I'm stuck in Torchline until the end of LongNight.

This sucks.




I think I need a new hobby. Got any ideas?

Thanks,
Anonymous
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
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#3
Dear anonymous,

First of all, thank you for trusting me with your problem, as my first client.

Secondly, your issue.

Torchline is most likely the best place to be 'stuck' during Longnight, so count your blessings on that. You have the beach, the sea, an endless supply of booze and sexual encounters just waiting for you. In fact, that is one of your options: drink and fuck your way to Flowerbirth. People have spent more time doing worse and you may make some friends along the way.

You want something more wholesome, though, I suspect.

In which case I humbly suggest you paint. Painting can be very cathartic, the motion of brush on paper, the creation of the image. Do not worry about painting well, only enjoying the process. Paint the beach, the sunset; maybe your naked lover if you have taken my prior advice.

You're in the best place you could be to start something new, so use the opportunity.
I hope you have fun.

Connie


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#4
Connie,

I'm having issues with a relative. Something is obviously going on (and there's always something) with them, but no matter how many times I offer to help, they either shut me out or say there's nothing I can do.

Sometimes I don't even feel like a part of the family, or they don't want me around.

Save for bashing them over the head, what can I do?

Thank you. Any insight or advice is appreciated.
- Anonymous
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 5 - Strg: 20 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 10 - Int:
PITTORE - Mythical - Gremlin (Disappearance)
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#5
Dear Anonymous,

Do you see this relative regularly? Perhaps you live with them? If that's not the case, I must admit I wonder why you're bothering. If somebody doesn't want your help, blood relative or not, you cannot force it upon them. Let them make their own mistakes - sometimes we have to learn through our own error.

If you do live with them, or have to be in close quarters, then it's a little different. Maybe it's frustrating to see them make the same mistakes every day. Other than trying to get yourself some distance, I would advise you speak to them bluntly and honestly about what it is they do that is upsetting you. At the very least, you'll know what would happen if you got to say everything you wanted to, and sometimes the truth can spark very good discussions!

If you do, however, decide to bash them over the head, make sure to use something heavy and wide and do so at night, somewhere private : )

- Connie


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#6
Dear Connie,

I just have the worst luck with men.

My first boyfriend forget me, my second cheated on me, my third didn't want to commit, the fourth disappeared...and between them all I've had unsuccessful little somethings that didn't go anywhere. All I want is love - no one has ever told me they love me!

I've tried to stop feeling sorry for myself and be happy on my own, like everyone says, but I still desperately want a partner. Why do I have such poor luck? Am I cursed?

Yours,
Unlucky in Love
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 5 - Strg: 20 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 10 - Int:
PITTORE - Mythical - Gremlin (Disappearance)
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#7
Dear Unlucky in Love,

Well, that is quite the track record.

Have you ever heard the phrase 'if you smell shit everywhere, check your shoes'? I hate to tell you this, but I think the common thread in all of these miserable endings is you. You say that you're trying to stop feeling sorry for yourself...then ask me if you're cursed!!

I understand you're upset, but love is not something you can force or rush; it will come in time and your desperate searching for it will only put off potential suitors. Improve yourself, have some fun sex if you can get it and put it out of your mind, or I fear you will be miserable for a long time to come.

With hope you will listen to my advice,
Connie


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